Darren Wilson and the FBI

(Darren Wilson was the police officer who confronted and killed a black man in Ferguson, Missouri. He was subsequently NOT indicted by a grand jury. he has since retired from the police force.)

I was involved in an internet argument with someone who I will call “Billy Bob” the other day. Billy Bob is a died-in-the-wool supporter of Darren Wilson and his rights to kill unarmed people if he feels threatened. Billy Bob’s main argument is that Wilson was a cop. Being a cop gave him the right to kill.

I disagree. Be that as it may, Billy Bob went one step further. He thinks that Darren Wilson, (now that he has resigned) , is going to end up in the FBI. Really. He does. So,  I imagine the job interview as follows…

FBI: So, Mr Wilson, I see you have 8 years experience as a police officer. Why did you leave the force?

Wilson: I did it for the good of the community.

FBI: I see. Can you expand on that?

Wilson: Yepper. I shot and killed a bad man and people in the community got mad at me. They even tried to indict me but I beat the rap.

FBI: Well. I assume you killed this man for a reason.

Wilson: Yepper. I felt my life was in danger.

FBI: So, he drew his gun first and then you shot back in self-defense?

Wilson: Nope. He didn’t have a gun.

FBI: So, he had a knife and was coming at you and was going to stab you ?

Wilson: Nope. He didn’t have a knife.

FBI: Well,  he was carrying some weapon, obviously. What did he attack you with?

Wilson: He didn’t have a weapon. But he hit me. Hard.

FBI: I see. Couldn’t you have used some self-defense techniques? Some of your training?

Wilson: Nope. I was in a car when he hit me.

FBI: You were in a car? Couldn’t you just drive a few hundred feet away and wait for backup?

Wilson: Never thought of that. But he hit me. Hard.

FBI: So, why did you shoot him?

Wilson: I feared for my life. He was big. REAL big. Made me feel like a 5 year old little boy. So I shot him. I don’t like feeling like a little boy.

FBI: So, you shot him in the leg or arm to incapacitate him ? To slow him down?

Wilson. Nope. In the head. In the body.

FBI: You shot him more than once?

Wilson: I shot AT him about 10 or 12 times. I hit him 6 times. That did the trick.

FBI: So , he was right next to you and you missed 4 or 6 shots?

Wilson: Yepper. That is why I kept shooting. DUH.

FBI: Well, Mr Wilson. The FBI prides itself on being a highly-trained, well-regulated peacekeeping force. We demand top level skills, intelligence, split-second decision-making and respect for individual rights. We do have to use force, but we train our agents to use only necessary force. I really don’t think we will be interested in interviewing you for a position.

Wilson: Did I mention that the guy was black. And very big. And scary. And that he looked like a demon ?

FBI: So. You see demons? You know what a demon looks like?

Wilson: I seen pictures of them. In demon books. And I tell you, this guy LOOKED like a demon. No joke.

FBI: I see. Thank you for coming in Mr . Wilson. And best of luck in the future.

So, Billy Bob, I don’t think the FBI will be calling on Darren Wilson to join the force anytime soon. Thank god.


Filed under blacks, crime, police

9 responses to “Darren Wilson and the FBI

  1. G.B.

    Humorous little fictional interview you wrote. However, Wilson’s actions were within procedure. Otherwise, police all over the country would condemn him instead of support him. Otherwise, he would have been charged with some crime. Wilson resigned simply to try to draw some anger away from his friends in the Ferguson Police Department. Wilson did not commit murder, he prevented murder. His own. I hope he finds a nice quiet job somewhere where he doesn’t have to deal with brutal and violent thugs like Michael Brown every day. Do you just hate police?


    • GB. Thanks for your comment. Nope. I don’t hate police. But I think you will agree that SOME police are not well-trained and SOME police do not follow the law. They tend to give all police a bad name. just like the few black “thugs” tend to allow people to stereotype young black men, the majority of whom are law-abiding citizens.
      My attempt at humor was actually in response to someone who suggested that Darren Wilson will be hired by the FBI. In my opinion Mr Wilson just did not have the training or temperment required to deal with a very hostile person. He is just not law enforcement material.
      Along with you I do hope Mr Wilson finds a desk job rather than a high pressure job.


      • G.B.

        I most certainly do agree that some police are not well trained and that some do not follow the law. Sadly, I have personally met some police officers that behaved unprofessionally, should never have been hired and were hopefully fired afterwards. Darren Wilson definitely will not be hired by any U.S. Government agency (should he even choose to apply) during these final 16 months while Barrack Obama is president. However, you can’t deny that there is a security video of Michael Brown attacking a store employee and stealing cigars (just like a thug) shortly before his death. I hope Wilson wins the Powerball and doesn’t have to share it with anyone.


      • GB. Point well taken. Brown was certainly not a law abiding citizen. And people like him give young black men a bad name.


  2. Sorry Blake, but your analysis, as usual, is shallow and shows a real lack of understanding. Luckily I am a patient man so I will try to continue to educate you.
    When the Federal government investigates hate crimes and civil rights violations they are investigating a very narrow scope of behavior. They are not investigating competency, they are investigating INTENT. They have found that Mr Wilson’s murder of Mr Brown was NOT based on an attempt to violate his civil rights. In other words, they found that the murder of Mr Brown was not due to any obvious or apparent racism on the part of Mr Wilson. He was just a frightened cop who got carried away by his own fear. (Which, of course, was the point of my blog entry above).
    That does not in any way suggest that the murder was appropriate or within the parameters of good police practices. Hence, Mr Wilson has rightly RESIGNED due to his admitted failures to police properly. I will give him credit for understanding he does not have the right mental and emotional attributes to be a cop. His own resignation admits that. We need competent police, not scared ones.
    So, a “civil rights” violation has nothing to do with the competency of the officer involved. It has to do with INTENT based on racial animus.
    If you think the FBI or any other federal agency would hire a man with the history of poor judgment and expressed fear of unarmed civilians expressed by Mr Wilson in his own testimony, I would have to suggest you are probably sadly mistaken. Perhaps you should encourage him to apply for an FBI position and see how far he advances in the process. LOL
    At any rate. If you need other assistance in understanding the subtleties of grand juries, the law, civil rights violations, etc. I am always here to help educate you. Keep in touch.


    • Blake. I never suggested that Wilson should face charges for violating civil rights. And you will find nothing to suggest that in any of my posts. But, as my post indicates, he is incompetent and should not be a cop. Can you tell me, where is he working as a cop today ? Think he has a future with the FBI? LOL


      • Blake

        Perhaps you were unaware that the FBI (along with MANY other agencies) is part of the Justice Department.


        If Wilson were to apply for a position with the FBI, DEA, BATF or whatever, just who do you think will be conducting the background investigation? Newsflash, it would be the very same organization that determined that he did not act inappropriately and that he should not face any federal charges! LAMO!

        I am sure that he has delayed seeking new employment because he was awaiting the outcome of the Justice Department investigation. He is now free to follow ANY career path that he sees fit. I would not blame him if he chose not to return to public service. It is often a thankless and stressful calling to pursue. Due to the ignorance of a few, Wilson and his family have been through quite an ordeal these last few months. He should just take all the money that his supporters donated and move with his wife to Hawaii. Aloha. LOL.

        GAME, SET, MATCH!


  3. Darren Wilson

    Okay, fair points.

    But in my defense: c’moooooon…!


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