Monthly Archives: March 2015

Gaydar Sale… Finally A way to Know For Sure

Hi. This is Ron Popeil for Ronco. The makers of the Ronco Potato Peeler and Car Sponge. Here to help you once again with a household problem. Now that Indiana has become the 21st state to make Gay hate legal there is a real need for discovering who really is gay. Can you tell by the way they walk? Sometimes. Can you tell by the way they talk ? Maybe. But in today’s world so many gays look and talk and act like normal people…how can you REALLY know.

If your restaurant does not want to serve gays, how can you be sure that burly muscle man is not a secret gay?? He may not be lisping, but is he eyeing your manhood from behind those bifocals? And how can you know if that “birthday cake” you are baking for that 5 year old might be going to house where her lesbian aunt might show up and have a slice ? Well, you don’t know. And you didn’t bake that cake for gay taste buds to enjoy !
Gone are the days in Germany where gays were forced too wear pink triangles. And Jews had to wear the Star of David. Life was simpler then. The good old days.
But Ronco solves your gay problems. With the new Ronco Gaydar. The Gaydar exposes gays, even those not out of the closet. For only $ 19.95 (plus a small shipping and handling fee) Gaydar takes the worry out of bigotry. Never again have a doubt about that customer. Or strange “Uncle John”. Gaydar takes the worry out of homo identification. Be sure too bring it to “Meet the Teacher Night” at school.

How does Gaydar work? Sorry, I can’t reveal the impressive technology. But here’s all you need to do. Point your Gaydar pistol (Yes, it is shaped like a German Lugar so no one will even know it is a Gaydar) at any person and pull the trigger. Gaydar shoots out a specially developed “gay-detecting formula” that registers on your Gay detector. Just check the Rainbow Detector. The farther to the left, the gayer the guy…or gal. Easy to use. Even a child cn use it. Let the little ones start early!

But does Gaydar really work? Some very famous people seem to think so.

Michelle Bachmann says “WOW, what a surprise. Just for fun I pointed the Gaydar at my hubby. WHOA. I sure never would have guessed.”
Adolf Eichmann the third (grandson of Adolf Eichmann) says “” Grandpa would have loved this . It would have made is life’s work so much easier. He would have killed for a machine like this”
Ted Cruz says” I took it to the Senate. Just as I figured on the liberal side of the aisle. A perfect score. Tested everyone but Lindsey Graham. He disappeared.”
Ben Carson: “As a highly educated doctor I can tell you that this device really works. I went inside the State Penitentiary during visiting hours and WHAMMO. This baby went off like fireworks on the 4th of July. Even some of the guards were “infected.”

Don’t wait. Don’t let “those people” into your public accommodation. Only $19.95 (plus shipping and handling) and you and your family can be gay-proofed forever.

But there’s MORE. Act now and Ronco will throw in JEWDAR absolutely free. Works just like Gaydar but for Jews. Instead of a Rainbow dial the Jewdar has a Star of David that lights up like a Hanukkah candle any time a Jew is detected. Tested at the Wailing Wall. It WORKS! I know. You are thinking. JEWS. Aren’t they all lawyers? Won’t they sue me? NO. Remember, the religious freedom laws do not demand that you justify your bigotry by belonging to any organized religion. You can just be a stand up, stand alone bigot and the law protects you. The law says you don’t even have to practice any religion at all !

That’s right. Gaydar and Jewdar BOTH for only $ 19.95. But wait. There’s more ! Order now and you will get Gaydar, Junior. Just for kids. This handy little Gaydar miniature gun will allow your child to tell which of his classmates has gay tendencies. A lot of power in a tiny package. Start your loved one early in detecting deviants. Feel secure that none of “those kinds” of kids are accidentally invited to junior’s birthday party.

That’s Gaydar, Jewdar and Gaydar,Junior. All for only $ 19.95. But wait, there’s MORE. Yes, the first 100 callers will also get ObamaDar.

Is that guy REALLY white or is he “passing”? Is that a good tan she worked on or was her grandmother’s mother a darky ? Not sure whether or not your child’s classmate is a “mix” of races, part Negro? ObamaDar will give you the answer. Comes with an easy to read Black or White dial. No shades of gray on this dial ! Act now. Call 1800-BIGOTRY.

Only available by phone or at a Bigots-R-US near you. Gaydar. Don’t take a shower in a public place without it!

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Filed under blacks, Christianity, gay rights, government, homosexual, Islam, Israel, Judaism, Mormon, Neoconservative, obama, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Senate, Society

Contestant #1: President Ted Cruz and Liberty

(This is the first in a series of articles about the contestants for the presidency in 2016. As they throw their hats (or toupees) in the ring I will be attempting to figure out what kind of president each would be. Keep in mind, of course, that many of these candidates are actually auditioning for jobs on Fox News and are not really serious about the presidency).

Ted Cruz announced that he is, by the grace of god, going to become president of the USA. And the key word in Cruz’s philosophy has been LIBERTY.

He wants liberty for himself. Liberty for those who follow his fundamentalist religious beliefs. It is all about freedom and god.

For starters, he made his announcement at Liberty University in Virginia. What could be more appropriate than to announce a Liberty campaign at a Liberty University? And the entire 10,000 member student body showed up to hear him. Well, actually they were forced to see him. You see, at Liberty University students are not free not to attend campaign speeches. Any student who failed to show up was going to be fined $10 and given official reprimands (demerits?) on their record. I guess you might say that where Liberty University is concerned “Freedom Isn’t Free” !

Cruz’s web site (www.tedcruz.org) has four major areas. First, he supports the US Constitution. That is certainly commendable. Second, he supports a strong America. So far he has my vote. He believes that life and families are good things. And finally he wants people to have jobs. With those ideas he should win by a landslide!

The devil, always, is in the details. So, based on his actions and the details of his website these are the kinds of things President Cruz would be in favor of.

1. Eliminate the ACA. And replace it with nothing at the federal level. While he opposes the ACA his only response to the chaos that would cause is to make all health care insurance the responsibility of the individual states. The bill he sponsors (you can find it on his Senate website) provides no guarantees for consumers. None. It is, in fact, nothing more than a repeal the ACA along with some vague idea of maybe giving people some vouchers. Under a Cruz presidency we go back to having massive numbers of uninsured. With no consumer protection.
2. Stop gay marriage rights. Cruz, the defender of liberty, would take away the freedom of a significant number of Americans to marry. Because it offends some people. He is very clear that only states have the right to decide who can marry. Based on his view of liberty a state could institute laws preventing blacks and whites from marrying. Or Jews from marrying non-Jews. It all depends on what the current state government decides. Liberty to take away liberty.
3. End the constitutional right to an abortion. A woman would no longer have the right, (guaranteed under the Constitution) to have a medical procedure if the state was opposed to it. Again, the king of liberty would take way the liberty of others. This man devoted to the Constitution would allow individual states to void decisions of the Supreme Court. President Cruz, not the SCOTUS, would decide what the Constitution says. Liberty.
4. Allow anyone to defy any law if that person had a “religious” objection to the law. Once again, while Cruz talks the talk of supporting the Constitution, he walks the walk of destroying the Constitution. Liberty.If I don’t like Jews I don’t have to serve them in my restaurant. If I don’t think homosexuals deserve to eat I can refuse to sell them food in my grocery store. Of course, the SCOTUS long ago established the Constitutional principle that if you are a commercial enterprise you must be open to all citizens. Not Ted. Not Mr Constitution.
5. Finally. What if President Cruz does not get his way? TANTRUM TIME! As a Senator he has abused his power to try to shut down the government because the rest of the Senate would not go along with is ideas. What would a President Cruz do? Would he simply abolish Congress? After all, he does have a pipeline (pun intended) to god.

A president Cruz, the defender of “liberty” would take away liberty from all except a fundamentalist few. He would throw folks off of health care, tell state governments that they can decide who can marry (marriage is not a federal right), tell pregnant women that big government will control their health care decisions, and allow people to use their personal beliefs to avoid following the law in any area they deemed “religious”.

Orwell would be smiling.

Or, as an American hero once said, “Give me liberty or give me Cruz.”

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Filed under ACA, blacks, Christianity, Conservatives, Elections, gay rights, GOP, healthcare, homosexual, Neoconservative, neoconservatives, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Senate, tea party

Time To Repeal Obamacare

Really. It’s time.
The GOP won the House and the Senate. Let them have their way.
Take away health insurance from millions of Americans.
No coverage for preventative services.
If you are over 21 and under 26. Sorry. Find your own policy . Can’t stay on Mom’s or Dad’s. Get a job, loser. Walmart is always hiring.
End Medicaid payments to states. Get those poor people off the dole. Why do you think they are called “Emergency rooms”? Use them.
Allow health insurance companies to throw anyone off the policy at any time. Free enterprise, baby.
And stop prescription drug coverage with MY TAX DOLLARS!. (Except for essentials like Viagra and Cialis).
If rates go up…live with it. Or don’t.

Time for the Dems in Congress to call their bluff. Capitulate. Time for Obama to give in. End Obamacare.

Let’s go back and start over. The ACA was a series of compromises with the health insurance industry and the old GOP/Heritage Foundation plan for the 1990s.
Obama did the wrong thing. He should have demanded a national single payer system instead of trying to save the health insurance industry. An industry, by the way, that adds NO VALUE to your health care. He compromised with the GOP . Look where it got him.

The fastest way to a national system is to end the ACA. Let the GOP come up with an alternative. Call their bluff. Of course, their only plan is to just say no. Sometimes a system has to collapse completely before it can be replaced. In this case, replaced with a Medicare for all system.

Just one more thing. Like my Tea Party friends say. Get rid of Obamacare. But keep the government out of my Medicare and Social Security !

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Filed under ACA, healthcare, obama, Politics, Society, Taxes, tea party

Hillary’s Hidden Emails

Much has been made of Hillary Clinton’s emails. I, myself , cannot think of a single reason why the Secretary of State would keep these private. It’s not like she ever communicates on any sensitive matters with foreign governments. Or might have personal thoughts.
Using my expertise in computer hacking I was able to locate and save a handful of Secretary Clinton’s deleted emails. I don’t know what the GOP expected to find, but WOW, these are radioactive! Remember, you read them here first, before they made it to the Drudge Report or Fox News!

Fr: HilClin to: Bubba
Bill. I am going to be late for dinner again. Please don’t order another take out from Gary’s Greaseburger. You know it makes you fart all night. On second thought, just pull out the sleep sofa. I almost forgot, some girl named Monica called again.

Fr: HilClin to: Barack1
Mr Prez. I ordered your good friend , the ambassador , to be killed by the Muslim Brotherhood in Benghazi as you requested. I still don’t see your end game in all this. Anyway, I am sure the dopes in the GOP will never figure out that I am a secret Muslim myself. ALLAH AKBAR

fr: HilClin to: ChelseaGirl
Be honest. Did that dress make me look fat? Too much cleavage? Not enough? Because Michelle1 was looking at me like “What’s that all about”. Sometimes I hate that b…. b….. Also, no, I cannot babysit next week. I am going to be busy deleting emails. LOL

Fr: HilClin to: StarrLoser
Hiya Ken. Just another email to RUB IT IN. You never could pin that Vince Foster caper on me, could you? And you KNOW I procured whores for Bubba all the time but you couldn’t prove that either. And Whitewater? LOSER ! NYA NYA

Fr: HilClin to: ISIS
Keep up the good work, fellas. I hate America just like you do. Off with their heads. ( I’d love to send you Bonehead Boehner LOL just kidding… he is the best thing I have going for me)

Fr: HilClin to: Sideshow Sarah
You go girlfriend. Keep saying those stupid things to make people think the entire GOP is a bunch of morons. So glad JohnMcOLD picked you. See you on the next moose hunt. Go girl! BFF

Fr: HilClin to: Wall Street
Open those wallets boys, I’m a coming soon. You KNOW no one can beat me. So you better join me. Get in on the ground floor !

Fr: HilClin to: ElizaWarren
Don’t even think about it. Really. Don’t think about it. I leave you with two words: Vince Foster. Don’t even think about it.

Fr: HilClin to: Email Server
When I delete these emails I should back up FIRST, right?

The cat is out of the bag. The jig is up. The GOP finally has the evidence they need to get Hillary.
Next step: Representative Gowdy is planning to subpoena Malia’s Iphone. Hey, you never know!

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Filed under Congress, Foreign policy, government, Islam, obama, Politics, Republicans, Senate, tea party

Greg Palast on the New Jim Crow

I usually don’t reblog, but this is quite an article.

Seniors for a Democratic Society

From White Sheets to Spreadsheets

By Greg Palast for Truthdig

I hate to spoil a happy ending.

The movie “Selma,” like this week’s commemorations of Martin Luther King Jr.’s march from Selma, Ala., 50 years ago, celebrates America’s giant leap from apartheid.

Half a century ago Alabama state troopers and a mob of racist thugs beat African-Americans and others as they marched across the Edmund Pettus Bridge, demanding no more than the right to vote. By the time King led 25,000 demonstrators singing “We Shall Overcome” into Montgomery, the state capital, on March 24, the president of the United States had introduced the Voting Rights Act. Free at last—to vote. Roll credits.

Yet, just a few months ago, Martin Luther King asked me, “How long until African-American citizens of Alabama—and Mississippi and Georgia—get the unimpeded right to vote?”

Obviously I was not speaking with King Jr.—a bullet stole him…

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Why Do We Gotta Learn This Stuff?

Billy Bob Baker, sitting in the back row picking his nose in US history class: “Why do we gotta learn this stuff?” What history teacher has not heard that refrain from some of his or her students ?

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the Bloody Sunday march in Selma, Alabama.

In much of Alabama Negroes could not vote. African-Americans and blacks could not register to vote. The state of Alabama had systematically and intentionally prevented minorities from taking part in elections. State’s rights.

The federal government was doing nothing to guarantee this right.

So. People marched. Peacefully. And the local and state authorities responded with violence. With billy clubs. With dogs. With tear gas. With beatings.

Because people marched for the right to vote. Peacefully. For the right to vote.

Today we have seen a resurgence of the “state’s rights” propaganda. In the 1950s and 60s it was a code word for racism. For keeping minorities powerless. For making laws about marriage, schools, drinking fountains, restaurants and even where a person could sit on a bus.

Take a moment to digest that. The state of Alabama,under the doctrine of “state’s rights” decided that some working, tax paying citizens could not drink at a public drinking fountain. Or use a restroom. The state of Alabama, and many others, decided that even though a person bought a ticket to ride a bus he or she could not sit in an empty seat on that bus unless it was in the back of the bus. Even though the law abiding working citizens paid taxes , the state of Alabama decided that these same taxpaying citizens could not participate in elections.

Let it sink in.
It is not ancient history. It is modern America. It wasn’t 1695, it was 1965.

“Why do we gotta learn this stuff?” Because ignorance breeds racism. Because ignorance of recent history allows one to be lead by the nose into another era of “states rights”. Another code word. Because your ignorance condemns you to be a pawn. Because the world is more complex than Fox Entertainment would have you believe. And to help you understand that no battle for civil rights is ever finished. Because if you remain ignorant you are easy pickings for the demagogues and racists. There are always politicians who will use the codewords to gain power over others.

Yes, Billy Bob. You gotta learn that stuff. Not just for yourself, but so the rest of us can live knowing that your ignorance will not help reactionaries turn back the clock of progress.

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Filed under blacks, Education, government, Neoconservative, neoconservatives, police, Politics, Republicans, Society

Bibi and Obamacare

The GOP has bypassed traditional protocol and allowed Bibi Netanyahu to make a political speech before Congress. Now one wonders what Boehner and company will do next. Perhaps they need to ask Bibi some tough questions while he is here. But don’t count on it. It’s a veritable love fest of anti-Iranian propaganda.

But, if the GOP was not so crassly cynical in it’s approach to politics,  they might consider the following.

Since WW2 the US has given more aid to Israel than to any other nation… over $121,000,000,000.

And we are in the middle of a long term deal which gives Israel at least $3,000,000,000 each year…ad infinitum. Of course, much of that aid goes to the US arms industry.

Oddly, while Bibi was here, no one in the GOP threatened to cut off funding. Let us recall that the GOP has attempted at least 57 times  to cut off funding to Americans who now have health care. On principle. The principle being that health care guaranteed by the government is communism. Evil. According to the GOP it is more important to stick to the principle than to actually help our own citizens.

Back to Bibi. While Congress continues to fund Israel (while trying to defund US unemployment benefits, education, SSI disability, etc.) they are oddly silent about the Israeli COMMUNIST system.

You see,  Israeli citizens have  a GUARANTEED health care system. By law, every citizen must participate in the system and employers are required to participate. COMMUNISM run amok. An Israeli citizen is entitled to health care, free of any pre-existing conditions and even free hospitalization.

While not perfect the Israeli health care system is certainly “communist” according to the criteria governing current GOP political thought.

Since a national health care system is inherently evil, why does Congress continue to support Israel? After all, by providing $ 3,000,000,000 per year aren’t we helping to subsidize this communist program. Why , after voting over 57 times and shutting down the US government to oppose the ACA is Congress blind to the  socialist/communist system imposed by Bibi on innocent Israeli citizens?

If the GOP was anything other than a bunch of hypocrites here is what they would do. Demand a cut off of all aid to Israel until the Israelis cancel their current socialized health care system and go to a “free market” model.  Think that is likely to happen ? At least not before they vote for the 58th time to end Obamacare?

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