This is re-posted from an email sent to me by a family member. Wish I had written it myself.
“President Obama Takes Hard-Line Stance on Refugee Crisis”
AP – November 18, 2015
WASHINGTON, DC – At a White House press conference this afternoon, President Obama announced his administration’s new hard-line stance on the refugee crisis.
“For entirely too long, we have been witness to cowardly acts of terror. We have watched innocent people suffer for our inaction and seen families broken, communities shattered, children taken too soon from this Earth because we as a nation have been too slow to act. It’s time we faced these atrocities and these terrorists with due resolve and we are now committed, finally, to closing our borders to this increasing influx of young, white American male refugees.”
Obama cited steadily rising death tolls in the United States, particularly on high school grounds and college campuses – acts of terror carried out exclusively by young, white American males – as adequate motivation to close the United States borders, asserting that allowing even more such refugees into the country would only further expose innocent US citizens to violence.
“It’s unfortunate to paint an entire people with so broad a brush. I’m sure that somewhere out there are young, white American males who are peace-loving and productive members of society but on the whole, the young, white American male culture is one that tacitly promotes unjustified violence against the innocent and we as a nation have stood silent for far too long.”
Young, white American male groups reacted strongly to the news. In his statement to the press, young, white American male Benjamin Tilly of Cheboygan, MI said, “Sure, when a handful of religious fanatics from Saudi Arabia commit an atrocity they’re just ‘mentally ill’ but when young, white American males regularly kill anywhere from two to 28 people in escalating, multiple school shootings over the past twenty years in this country – basically like clockwork – suddenly it’s a ‘culture of violence.'”
In response to the public outcry from the young, white American male community, President Obama said, “Listen, not every young white American male is going to go shoot up a school but it is in our best interests to prevent all young white American males from entering the country because if just one of those young men is the one who would later go on a shooting rampage in a school cafeteria then wouldn’t our efforts have been worth it? And if we’re being honest, isn’t it a bit telling that the entire young, white American male community has failed – time and time again – to unilaterally condemn all of these acts?”
Upon learning that he would be disallowed entrance into the United States, teenager Kyle Mattheson, a young, white male American refugee from Bensalem, PA, responded, “Will I have easy legal access to firearms, wherever they send me?”