OK. I finally figured it out. Trump smokes dope. Now it all makes sense.
I knew I had heard some of his ideas before. Just couldn’t remember where or when. The following is based on things that the Donald, I presume under the influence of some good ganga, has actually said.
Picture a smoke filled room, a bong and the Donald with his hair down to his shoulders , wearing a tie-dye shirt and love beads. Surrounded by a bevy of wide eyed 16 year old girls who he has hired as apprentices.
After a long toke….” You know, we could get oil prices much lower. All we have to do is tell those Saudis. Lower your f…cking prices, man. Just lower them.”
“Children.Think of children getting all those shots. Those vaccinations. Children should get just one shot at a time. Not all at once. Children are not horses, man. Be cool.”
Another toke….” I got a source. I got a great source. You know what? This is gonna blow your mind. My source says that Obama was born in Kenya. Really. Not even an American. For sure.”
” What about those Ayrabs? You know how to deal with Ayrabs? Well, I do. Like this Khaddafi guy. I rented him some land. But I really screwed him on the deal, dude. That’s how you deal with these Ayrabs. Just rent em something and then screw them.Right on”
And another toke…” And those Muslims. Gotta get em out of the country, dude. Just ain’t right. Here’s what I’d do. Just ask em at the border. You a Muslim? They say YES, you kick em out. They say NO, you let em in. Easy. Just takes guts.”
“We gotta build a wall. A big wall, like 20 stories high. Keep out Mexicans. Mexican rapists. Want our women. Then, here’s the best part, dude. We make the Mexicans pay for it. Easy.”
Final toke…”My IQ is like 200. I am so smart . And you guys are losers. Sorry, but it’s the truth man. I am smarter than, like, 21 Einsteins.”
” The media, man. F…ck the media. Their just, like jealous. As long as I have a young piece of ass with me the media can go screw themselves. ”
So next time The Donald opens his mouth remember what your mama said. Drugs kill brain cells. DON’T DO DRUGS.
Or if you MUST do drugs, don’t run for the presidency. It’s not a pretty sight.
( Some are actual quotes. Some are paraphrases of quotes. But it’s all Trump)