Monthly Archives: April 2018

Trump Dictionary…F is for

Fake News.  Wow. So much fake news. No collusion. None . Zero. No Russian contacts. Never met Russians. Never heard of Putin. Comey is a crook. Fake Comey book. Fake Pruitt spending. Why not travel first class? Wow. All fake news. Flynn? Who is Flynn? Never met him. All fake. Manafort? Never heard of him. Everything is fake. Fake. Lock her up. Lock her up. Horrible Hillary. Cohen. Who is Michael Cohen? I don’t know him. All fake.

Fantastic. My administration has been the most fantastic ever. I did more in the first year than any other president. Ever. People love me. People say I am fantastic. Many people.

FBI.  Most corrupt organization in Earth. Believe me. Awful. They break down doors. False charges. Lock them up.

Fifth. Take the fifth. Only criminals take the fifth. The mob takes the fifth. …Cohen took the fifth? I may have to take the fifth? A wonderful part of the Constitution. Love the fifth. Best fifth ever.

Florida. Great state. Everyone says so. Mar-A-Lago is the best golf course. Magnificent golf. Love Florida. Many billionaires in Florida.

Flynn. Great man. Fantastic patriot. Not a criminal. He pleaded guilty? …oh…I hardly know him. Never met him. Flynn who?

Fox News.  Tremendous . Fantastic. Awesome. Believe me, Fox is true journalism. Always tell the truth. Unlike the failing New York Times. Great people at Fox. I know them. Super people. The best people. Only the truth. Fair and balanced!!

Franken. Al Frankenstein. Liberal. Communist. Sex abuser. Horrible. If I did half of what he did the liberals would be calling for impeachment. Awful man. Very disrespectful to women. I respect women. I love women. Some of my favorite people are women. Like Ivanka. Tremendous woman! Fantastic.

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The answer is : 60,000,000

A recent study by Pew Research recently reported that 24% of Americans did not read a book in 2017. Not a book. Not part of a book. Not a hard copy. Not Kindle. Not on the internet. Nada. 24%

Q. Wells Fargo was fined for ripping off its customers. The fine this year was a hefty $1,000,000,000 . How much were they fined, on average, per week?

A. $60,000,000

Q. Wells Fargo was gifted a $3,700,000,000 tax break by the GOP tax bill. How much money did they take from the US taxpayer every 4 work days?

A.  $60,000,000

Q. What is the total number of people on Earth in 1000 BCE?

A. 60,000,000

Q. What is the total  number of people that the population of the Earth has increased by in the last 9  months?

A. 60,000,000

Q. If you started counting one by one and counted one digit every second of every day for 694 days, without taking a break, what total would you reach?

A. 60,000,000

Q. There are more ants on Earth than humans, by far. If all the ants were divided equally and became pets of humans, how many total ant pets would 37 people have?

A. 60,000,000

Q. Cristiano Ronaldo, highest paid athlete in the world scored 58 goals in 2017-18, so far. What was he paid for scoring the first 38 goals?

A. $ 60,000,000

Q. 24% of Americans did not read a book or part of a book in any format last year. How many Americans is that?

A. 60,000,000

Q. Fewer that 50% of the American people voted for Donald Trump in 2016. How many voted for Trump?

A. Coincidence?

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Trump Dictionary…E is for

 

Election.  I won the election. Fair and square. Biggest total vote in US history. Most electoral votes ever. Amazing. Wow.

Election Fraud. Cooked Hillary had election fraud. Over 20 million illegals voted for Hillary. Fake news won’t cover election fraud.  My election fraud panel will prove it….What? They didn’t find election fraud? They disbanded? Fake election fraud panel.

Energy. Coal. Best energy out there. Amazing. And oil. No limit to oil. So much it will last a billion billion years. Believe me, that’s a long time. We need more drilling for energy. the best drilling.

Enormous. Bigly. A  lot. A whole bunch. Like “I have a enormous buildings.”

Erdogan. Big election. People love him. He won. Great leader. Strong leader. Like Putin. I like him. Locked up his opponents. Good job. Lock them up!

Evidence. Fake. Fake. Fake. No evidence of collusion. Mueller probe is fake. Donnie Junior did nothing wrong. I know. I was there. Putin and me and Russia did nothing wrong. I know. I was there. Terrible what the fake FBI did to Cohen. Great man. No evidence. Maybe a pardon?

Evolution. Fake . Do I look like I came from a orangutan?

(Add your own words below).

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Trump Dictionary… D is for

 

Daniels, Stormy. Never heard of her. Fake news. Never had sex with her. Do I look like I need to hire a hooker? Look at me. Fantastic physique. Never paid for it. Women want me. Never had sex with Stormy. Stormy who?

Darkies. Proper term for “those people”. You know who I mean. Nasty. Criminals. Welfare fraud. MAGA.

Dave Dennison. Every smart businessman has an alias. Why sign my own name when I can pretend to be someone who doesn’t exist? Not illegal. Very  honest. Other names I “may” have used? John Miller. John Barron.

Deal maker. I am the best deal maker EVER. Read the Art of the Deal. Amazing book. Fantastic ideas. I made a deal with Mexico to pay for the wall. Believe me. I made a deal with China, forced them to end all tariffs. Ended Obamacare. I am the best deal maker ever! Don’t take my word for it, it is what many people say!

Democrats. Traitors. Hate America. Belong in jail. Lock them up. Can’t we do something about them?

Dirtbag. All my opponents.

Donald. That’s ME. WOW. Best president ever. Best name. Best brand.

Donald, Jr. One of my children. I think.

DUH.

(Add your own words below).

 

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Pardoning Oswald

Today Mr Trump pardoned “Scooter” Libby for his crimes against the US government. Just as he pardoned Joe Arpaio for his crimes against the US government. Seems like Mr Trump has a soft spot in his heart for certain kinds of criminals.

What did the “scooter” do? Well. Background.

In the build up to the Iraq invasion the Bush-Cheney White House put out the narrative that Saddam had an active nuclear program. So active, in fact, that he had acquired “yellowcake” uranium from Africa. Hence, the need to attack ASAP to prevent him from building the “bomb” !!

Concerned about this revelation (and knowing nothing about it) the CIA sent Joe Wilson to Niger to investigate. For 8 days. He found that the claim was false. Not only that, he wrote an op-ed to that effect. Congress had been given twisted information in the run up to the war. They voted for a war based on lies.

Not long after that a conservative pundit, Novak, published the name of Valerie Plame announcing to the world that she was a CIA operative. He got this information from 2 Bush administration sources, one of whom was the “Scooter”, a Cheney staffer. Why would the White House leak the name of a CIA operative? And why would a journalist publish her name? To what purpose? How does this help anyone?

It turns out that Plame was the wife of Joe Wilson. So, her career with the CIA was over. More important, her informants  in Europe, where she had been working under cover, were now at risk. Anyone associated with her might now be at risk. Who was feeding her information? We will never know how many lives were effected. And how many potential informants now would hesitate to deal with the CIA in fear of eventually being found out.

So, that was “Scooter’s” crime. The outing of a CIA agent for no other purpose than payback for her husband telling the truth. GW Bush REFUSED to pardon him, although he commuted his sentence.

So, why pardon “Scooter” now?

Some possible reasons. To send a message. Anyone who lies to the FBI in support of Trump has been given a clear signal…I will pardon you. Don’t worry. Keep the faith. Hold the line. Stick with the boss. Take the heat for the godfather.

Another possible reason? Distraction. Comey’s book came out today. And his interviews. And Trump is shitting himself. He has to distract. Give Hannity something to talk about? Distract from the Cohen raid. Distract form the Mueller probe.

Or, maybe Donald simply has a soft spot for criminals. White criminals. White collar criminals. Criminals he can relate to. Which leads me to conclude we will see even more pardons as the days progress and Mueller gets closer and closer to Donalds’ financial shenanigans.

I predict the following pardons from the Nuremberg trials. So many were falsely accused !!!:

April: Oswald Kaduk. Guilty of crimes against humanity. Auschwitz Trial; Karl Seufert. Guilty of crimes against humanity. Auschwitz Trial; Emil Bednarek.  Guilty of crimes against humanity. Auschwitz Trial

May: Bruno Schlange. Guilty of crimes against humanity. Auschwitz Trial; Lutz Graf Schwein von Grosigk. Guilty. Ministeries Trial.; Max Otto Ihn, Guilty, Krupp Trial.

June: Ernst Biberstein. Guilty. Einsatzgruppen Trial; Carl Krok. Guilty. IG Farben Trial; Carl Genzken. Guilty. Doctors Trial.

July: Jared Kushner. Paul Manafort.  Ivanka Trump. Mike Flynn, Donald Trump, Jr…..and Donald Trump…

And Congress will do nothing.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/have-your-yellowcake/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Axis_personnel_indicted_for_war_crimes

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Trump Dictionary…C is for

 

Cable TV. Love cable TV. Fox is best. Watch it all day. Fantastic TV. I was the best show on cable TV. I made cable TV what it is today. Before me there was no cable TV. Best ratings ever. I had the best ratings. Ever.

China. Cheating us for years. Other presidents did nothing. Nothing.Bush did nothing. Obama did  nothing. I am defeating China. Trade war. Easy to win. Easy. Winning over China. MAGA.

Christian. I am the best Christian ever. Believe me. You will never see a better Christian. Amazing Christian. All Christians love me.

Colin Kaepernick. Traitor. Black guy. Get that son of a bitch off the field. Fire him. Not a patriot like me.

Collusion. No collusion. The facts have proven there is no collusion with Russia. Never was . Never will be. Crooked Hillary colluded. Not me. No collusion.

Comey. Worst FBI director ever. Very dishonest. Part of the Deep State. Democrat just like Mueller. Most corrupt person ever.

Control. Out of control. The FBI is out of control. Mueller is out of control. The blacks are out of control. The cheating Democrats are out of control. America is out of control. MAGA.

Corrupt. Bob Mueller most corrupt person ever. Horrible. Must fire him. Fake investigation must end.  No one has more conflicts of interest.

Crooked Hillary. Most crooked person ever. Crook. Why was she never investigated? Benghazi! Benghazi! Worked with Russians. Collusion with Russians. Crooked .

(Feel free to add your own words).

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Ending the Witch Hunt

Now that Mr Trump’s lawyer, Cohen the Fixer,  has had his home, hotel room and office raided by the FBI it is clear that the Witch Hunt has continued. Trump was really pissed of about this!

Mr Trump has been clear that the witch hunt directed against him must end. And I agree. Throughout history there have been many techniques for ending a witch hunt. So, I say, let’s do it. A return to the good old days.

Now, the real issue may revolve around exactly how to prove the president’s innocence. In a legitimate witch hunt, which Mr Trump correctly claims this is, there are many methods. Any  of which can prove that Mr Trump is not a witch.

The question is: Which witch trial is which and which witch trial is the one which will tell us if Trump is a witch and which kind of witch? It’s all so confusing.

I suggest one of the following tried and true methods.

Method one: The old boiling water routine. In this one Mr Trump will place his hand into a pot of boiling water and pick up something in the bottom of the pot. Something he really wants, like a little statue of Donald Trump. Then, after 3 days, if his hand is completely healed we know he is not a witch. If not healed…burn him.

Method two: Trial by fire. Two possible trials. In one, Mr Trump would walk barefoot over 9 feet of red hot coals. Examine his feet three days later and if they are healed he is not a witch. But, since Mr Trump has heel spurs, this one may not be fair to him. And witch hunts must be fair.

So, a second possible trial by fire. Mr Trump will grasp a red hot poker in one of his hands. It will have to be a small poker since he has tiny hands. After three days if his tiny hand has healed, he is not a witch. If his hand has not healed… burn him.

Method three. The dunking. Mr Trump will be placed in a burlap sack. It will be the best burlap sack ever produced. He will then be brought to the Potomac River and dumped in. If Mr Trump floats, he is witch and will be executed. If Mr Trump sinks he is not a witch. If anyone wants to, they can search downriver for the body. Or not. Whatever.

So, time to end this witch hunt once and for all. But, how do we decide which witch trial to use? Let Sarah Sanders decide which method is the best for determining whether or not Mr Trump is a witch. After all, who could be a better authority?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trial_by_ordeal

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The Trump Dictionary…B is for

Bankruptcy. This is what smart business men do when their business fails. Genius. Protect your own assets. Don’t pay your bills. Leave the little guy in debt. Let him try to sue. The best thing about bankruptcy is that you get to start all over again. And declare it again. And again. And again. That is why the crooked USA bankers refuse to lend me any money. Cheaters!

Barron. A high class person, like in a kingdom. Best kingdom. Also the name of Melania’s kid. I think.

Best,Bestest. I hire only the best people. Education genius Betsy DeVos. Sister of Eric Prince. General Flynn, best national security adviser ever. Paul Manafort, best campaign chairman. George Papadapolous,  best foreign policy adviser. Ivanka Trump, sexiest daughter on the planet. WOW! Tom Price, best, most honest EPA director since Thomas Jefferson. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, best, most truthful spokesman imaginable. So many best people I can’t even name them all.

Beautiful. Beautiful wall. Beautiful daughter. Beautiful military. Beautiful Mar-A-Lago. Beautiful daughter. Beautiful trade war. Beautiful tax bill. All beautiful. All the time. Beautiful Fox and Friends. Beautiful daughter.

Big, Biggest. Everything I do is biggest. Biggest wall ever built. Take my word, it is coming. Biggest victory in the trade war. Watch China fold under the pressure. Biggest Trump Tower in Moscow, wait for it. Biggest fire in NY Trump tower put out by the biggest firefighters in the world. Biggest bomb dropped. Biggest ever. Just wait, we will have the biggest nuclear war with Korea, both north and south. It will be amazing!

Blue States. Traitors. Rigged elections. All the illegal immigrants voted in the blue states. I won the blue states. Clinton rigged the blue state elections. I won every vote. Blue states are traitors. I got them good with the tax bill!

Bombs. Big bombs. Best bombs. Now we have the best bombs. Obama failed to build bombs. I build bombs. Biggest bombs. Big beautiful bombs.

Bush, Jeb. Low energy. Kicked his ass. Very stupid man. He said we would have a trade war with China if I was elected. WRONG!. Voters love me, hate low energy Jeb. Failed as governor of Georgia.

Feel free to leave your own suggestions below.

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The Trump Dictionary…A

 

Abortion. Abortion is a woman’s right. Every woman should be able to have a fantastic abortion. Non Disclosure Agreement. Except not any longer. Abortion is bad. A woman must be punished for having an abortion. I don’t know what kind of punishment, but something. Something bad. Abortion is not a right.

Africa. Shithole country. Bad people. Lazy. Don’t want to work. Want us to give them everything for nothing. Worst country on Earth.

America. Best country on Earth. Fantastic. In big trouble. BIG trouble. I will make it great. Used to be great. When some folks knew their place. I will put them back in their place. MAGA.

Army. Fantastic men and women. Fantastic. Big supporters of my campaign. Best army on Earth. In bad shape. Terrible shape. We need billions more for the army. To protect our borders from the Mexicans. Rapists. Worst army in the world until I became president. Now, the best army ever.

Asshole. I am not an asshole. Everyone else is an asshole, but not me. I am a genius. You’re an asshole, not me.

Authoritarian. Strong leader. Tough man. Me . I am a tough man. Couldn’t go to Nam because my foot hurt. My daddy’s doctor wrote the note. Fantastic note. He signed it. Putin, Erdogan, Kim. Good leaders. Lock up the bad people who oppose them. Good idea. MAGA.

Avenatti. Bad man. Fake news. Never met Stormy Daniels. Bad lawyer. All fake. No payoffs. No hush money. Fake.

(Feel free to add your own entries below)

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