YIKES! It’s an Emergency

President Trump had an hour long speech explaining why he was calling for a national emergency on the US -Mexico border. While it did not have any new data or information, it was a stunner. He talked about …well… everything except the border.

Now some of the leftist socialist communists criticized his speech. Just because he talked about China. How great the economy is. How he singlehandedly ended the Korea nuke threat. How popular he is. How he will win the election in 2020. How so many women are tied up and gagged and brought over the border where there is no wall.  How the people love him. How he listens to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. How, now that he has declared a national emergency he will be going to play golf at Mar-A-Lago.

The leftist communists criticized him because he did not really make a case for the declaration and instead talked about other stuff.

So, I did some research into other national emergencies and how the presidents in the past handled them. I discovered that Mr Trump is indeed no different from other presidents in this regard. I give you two examples.

Abe Lincoln, April 19, 1861.

“My fellow Americans. As you know, I am the tallest president ever. Taller than Washington. So far my administration has been fantastic. The best. Just last week Momma has bought new curtains for the White House. Nice satin ones.

I took a long trip to get here. All the way from Illinois. I call it “Illinoise” because of all the talk back home. Good joke. Nice train ride. Me and Momma had a great train ride. I got to sit with the engineer and make that horn thing sound. Tooot..Tooot. I can’t do it as good as Tab. Well.

Anyhoo. Here’s the deal. A bunch of rebels have attacked Fort Sumter so I am signing a national emergency thingy and blockading the ports of the rebel states. Just sayin.

Do you like my new hat. It makes me look even taller, don’t you think? I wanted a red one but Mamma said I should go black. So I did. I tend to do what the little lady wants. Ha ha ha. Now I am off to Virginia to play some bowls on the new bowling green we just built.”

Then there was the FDR national emergency of December , 1941. I found this transcript in the archives.

FDR

“My fellow Americans. As you know, I won the last election in a landslide. God the people do love me. Did you all see the inaugural parade. Fantastic. Lots of bands. Now some people say I am in a wheelchair.

Fake news.I can stand up as well as any man. In fact, when I stand I am the tallest president ever. Taller than Lincoln. By far. Notice how I got us out of the Great Depression? Anybody. And now you all have Social Security. Best system ever.

I do not have a girlfriend. That is a lie. Fake news.

By the way. Yesterday the Japanese made a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor. A day that will live in infamy. So, we need to declare war on the Japanese and the Germans.

Have any of you even seen the new Bentley that I ride in? I mean, talk about a smooth ride. Wow. I am going to take a few days off for a nice ride in the beautiful New Jersey countryside. Beautiful New Jersey, is that an  oxymoron or what? See you all later.”

So, those who minimize the national emergency speech of President Trump. Take that. A little history lesson for the communists who criticize our man.

National Emergency 101 Quiz

If the following IS a national emergency answer YEPPER. If not, answer, NOPER.

1. Russia actively interferes with the 2016 election and helps Donald Trump get elected?

2. The Trump administration cuts funding for the FBI task force investigating and trying to prevent Russian election interference in 2020?

3.At the World Trade Center catastrophe of 9/11/2001,  3,000 Americans were killed. Since then, an average of 3,000 Americans each month have been killed by guns . That is a total of over 612,000 Americans killed by guns. National emergency?

4. The hottest, driest years on record due to global climate change have lead to extensive fires and droughts?

5. The US and Russia pulling out of the arms reduction agreements?

6. Over 25,000,000 Americans without quality health insurance due to the recent erosion of the ACA?

7. A record 22 trillion dollar debt, built up largely due to the 2 trillion dollar tax giveaway to the wealthiest 1%?

8. Growing and eventual insolvency of Social Security unless action is taken immediately?

9. Selling off of national parks, created long ago by Teddy Roosevelt,  to the fossil fuel industry for the short term economic gain of a dying industry?

10. A family of Guatemalans, including a 5 year old and a 3 year old,  fleeing death in their homeland, are posing a major threat to US safety and security?

If you answered YEPPER to # 10, you are an idiot.

A Skunk of A Different Color

I went out this morning to clear the snow from my driveway. All 100 yards of it. I noticed some of the usual animal tracks in the snow.

There were the deer, who cross the road here to get to Flint Creek. And , of course a number of squirrel prints . There was one I didn’t recognize. It was like a thick tunnel across the newly fallen snow. I thought it might belong to the weasel or mink we saw a few years ago.

As it happened my neighbor, I will call him Sparky, was driving his tractor/plow down the road. Now, Sparky is a good old boy who used to be a deer hunter. He no longer kills animals. I recall one year he took down a deer near our adjoining property with one shot from his back porch. So, he knows guns.

And Sparky will always come over during really heavy snowfalls and plow out my driveway. A couple times a year. He won’t take payment for it, so I usually leave a couple of six packs of brew on this front deck . Sparky knows animals.

So, I stopped him and asked him about the snow trail. Yep. He said it was skunk. They had seen skunks in their yard this morning and he was pretty sure they had ambled this way. Skunks it was.

There is a family of skunks that drops by in the fall, usually in the middle of the night. They dig up the yard looking for grubs, I presume. I have seen them and watched as they slowly make there way, unafraid.

A couple years ago I noticed something odd. I mentioned it to Sparky and he assured me that my eyes were not deceiving me, he had seen it ,too.

For those of you unfamiliar with skunks. They are an amazing deep black color. With an even more amazingly bright white stripe down the back. The black and the white are pure, bold and uncompromising. As black and white as it gets.

Except for this family. One of the skunks is the exact opposite of this color pattern. Where the others are black, he is white. A white skunk with a big bold black stripe down his back. An oddity. An aberration. A skunk like no other.

The other skunks don’t seem to mind. He is, after all, just a skunk of a different color.

Too bad humans aren’t more like skunks.

The Strange Case ….

The strange case of Mortimer Beauragard Feathermaker.

After doing extensive research of photo archives, interviews and college yearbooks just ONE name stands out.

Mortimer Beauragard Feathermaker.

This may be hard for the citizens of Virginia to accept, but the truth is the truth. This man walks his own walk. He stands alone. He does what he does.

Mortimer Beauragard Feathermaker.

The only white man in Virginia in the 1980s who did not wear black face.

A Person of Means

The billionaire guy who sells coffee for a living thinks he should be president. I forget this name. I think it was Shultz or Shittz or Schlumptz.  Anyway. More importantly, he thinks that “billionaires” give “billionaires” a bad name. His solution? Stop referring to billionaires as “billionaires”. Instead, refer to them (and him) as “persons of means”.

Note to self. You are being screwed by “persons of means”. Yep. That sounds better.

But, it got me to thinking. Which is always dangerous. Perhaps we could salvage the reputations of other disparaged groups if we simply changed what we called them.

Billionaire: “person of means”.

Robber: “person in possession of property without proper receipts”

Rapist: “person who violently sexually assaults another person who did not give complete assent to such an action”

Moron: “person whose mental abilities seem to be less than that of many other persons”

Drunk Driver: “person whose alcohol consumption negatively impacts on his ability to properly navigate a vehicle on a public highway”

Murderer: “person who intentionally causes the early termination of the life span of an otherwise healthy individual”

Homeless: “person whose ongoing residence in a permanent location is not possible due to his lack of proper monetary policy”

Pundit: “person whose college contacts allow him to exhibit an incredible ignorance and lack of foresight about topics of which he has never thought deeply”

Politician: “person with an incredible ability to improperly discern the needs and wants of the common man, yet still has the speed and chutzpah to change direction and  to attempt to lead popular movements started by others”

Spy: “person who uses his access to highly sensitive information to earn a monetary reward by supplying such information to individuals from a nation considered not very friendly to the host nation”

Fox News host: “person (usually blonde) who obsesses on driving violations by Mexicans while ignoring treason, bribery and other crimes committed by individuals connected to the Russian government”

Golfer: “person who spends hours walking in the woods searching for spherical objects and then prevaricates when confronted about the number of times such spheroids were actually contacted with a specially made metal stick”

Whore: (see Politician, except “honest”)

Feel free to add your own !

https://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/the-wrap/article/Howard-Schultz-Says-Billionaires-Should-Be-Called-13590401.php

 

 

The Virgin Mary, Me, Too

 

(For Virgin Mary one follow this link):  https://josephurban.wordpress.com/2019/02/02/the-virgin-mary-test/

The lieutenant governor of Virginia has been accused of forcible sexual contact. He is a Democrat. The woman accusing him is a college professor who is also a Democrat.

A few days ago I posted a blog about the new purity of soul in the Democratic Party and how it may come back to bite some people. Well, let’s see.

All Franken, a senator better known as a comedian, was exposed as a comedian. A picture of him on a USO Tour supporting the troops had him pretending. (PRETENDING) to grope a fully clad, jumpsuited, sleeping  young lady. He was looking at the camera and posing. Grinning for the camera. Stupid. Infantile.

After that, some other women came forward and told stories of Franken kissing or groping them during various photo ops. He denied them. However, lead, by Kristen Gillibrand (D-NY) calling for his resignation, he finally did so. He wanted a hearing. None was given. He simply resigned.

Brett Kavanaugh was accused of attempted rape by a woman. A college professor. The attempted rape evidently occurred in high school or college. Kavanaugh denied it. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But Senator Gillibrand (D-NY) once again lead the charge against his confirmation to the Supreme Court. (Now, I oppose him being on the court for his other corruptions). He said, she said.

The governor of Virginia, Ralph Northam,  has used “blackface” in the past. 35 years ago, it seems. The entire Democratic establishment (with the exception of the silent Barack Obama) have called for his immediate resignation. Must go. Now. Impure.

OK. So the die is cast. Just as the GOP has become the party of racial hatred and overt misogyny, the Democratic  Party has become the party of racial and sexual purity. Ever been bad? Too bad. Bill Clinton must be turning over in his grave. He is dead, isn’t he?

Now, I don’t support racism or sexism or any ism.  But it seems like there is a too eager rush to condemnation in the new Democratic Party. So, how will this play out?

We have the black man, the second in command in Virginia. On the verge of taking power as the current governor will resign, sooner or later. But this man has been accused of sexual misconduct.

Will the morally superior keepers of the gate , especially NY Senator Gillibrand, now rise up? Will they demand, as they have done in the past, that we believe the “woman”. Will they demand that the LT Governor resign for his sexual transgression, unproven? He said , she said.

So far, a deadly silence on the matter. Is it because the accused is an African-American and the stalwarts of the Democratic Party need the African-American vote to have any chance of winning an election? Is it because it is simply a “he said-she said” controversy. But wasn’t that the same controversy with Kavanaugh? And to some extent with Franken? (Except Franken was never accused of oral rape).

The screw turns. Jumping on the band wagon is fine, until the band wagon runs over someone who you don’t want it to run over.

I can only refer to the Senator from my own great state, Gillibrand.

She called for Mr Trump to resign amid allegations of sexual misconduct. She called for Al Franken to resign over allegations of groping and kissing. She called on Governor Northam to resign over his blackface photo in college over 30 years ago. She called on Kavanaugh not be confirmed due to an allegation of attempted rape when he was in college or high school. There was no hesitation. No waiting until we get all the facts. Believe the accuser. Every time. All the time. No context. Just resign. Period.

The allegation, true or not , against Justin Fairfax is much more serious than any of the others. Forcible oral rape. A woman says so. She must be believed. So, when will the Democratic leadership speak out? In the new Democratic Party we need not stop to find out if an accusation is true. Hurry, the bandwagon is passing you by.

We are waiting.

https://www.richmond.com/news/virginia/government-politics/updated-lt-gov-justin-fairfax-denies-sexual-assault-allegation-in/article_40dbcfef-5af6-5f91-9b4f-fa73050594d8.html

State of the Union 2019

Mr Trump, with permission from Nancy Pelosi, will be giving the State of the Union message on Tuesday. Many people will not be able to watch him because they have better things to do. Like watch reruns of Happy Days. Clean up some dog poop. Put on toe fungus ointment. The list is endless.

Have no fear. Due to my extensive contacts with the Deep State I have been able to obtain an early draft notes of Mr Trump’s address. A special thanks to Kelly Anne Convoy, who shall remain anonymous. Hopefully. So, as a public service, here are the preliminary notes to Donald’s address. These are only notes, so Mr Trump may or may not use them.

Card #1: Say hello to our troops. Best troops ever. Remind them of your military service . You wanted to go to war and we probably would have won the Vietnam war but your father’s doctor said : No way, not with those heels! Sad. Very sad. Don’t call Pelosi a bitch. If you do, she will nail your ass for the next 2 years. THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT. Don’t cross Pelosi. PLEASE.

Card#2: Best president ever. Best economy in the history of the world. Since time began in 4004 BC. Remind them they can’t impeach someone who is doing such a fantastic job. Finally America is respected by Russia after the failed Obama stuff. DON’T say he was born in Kenya. That one is no longer useful. Mention that Kamala Harris sounds like a foreign name to you. Maybe SHE was born in Kenya. Just saying. America for Americans. Remind them to lock her up. Lock her up.

Card#3: You are building the wall. Biggest wall ever. Everyone knows walls work. Obama has a wall around his house. Keeps out illegal rapists. WHAMMO That will wing em. You don’t need congress to build a wall. You already have the money, so you don’t need congress. Also, condemn the Democrats for not giving you wall money, even though you don’t need them to give you wall money. Make that clear. They refuse to give you what you don’t need. Also, remind them that Mexico has already paid for the wall. DONE deal ! The wall is built. As promised!

Card #4: Tell them how tough you are. You got North Korea to give up all their nukes. They have promised. Remind them that you know more than the stupid CIA that claims Kim is still building nukes. FAKE NEWS. Remind them that Obama never would talk with Kim, but you out dealed the dictator. No more nukes in Korea. You are the best president ever. (Tell them). Smarter than the CIA. Kim PROMISED. He promised. Gave his word.

Card #5: Remind them how Russia is a hoax. All of Russia. You never met Putin. No one in your campaign ever met Russians. You can’t even find Russia on a map. Can’t even find a map. You don’t even know who Putin is. Also, you now have the best relations with Russia ever. By far. And Putin says he never would do anything like SPY. Ridiculous. Fake news. Putin said so, too. He PROMISED he did nothing. So, there you have it. He was very strong when he said it. VERY STRONG! Tell them you could fire Mueller if you wanted to but you don’t want to. So there.

Card#6: Tell them how the unemployment is so low. Lowest ever. It is so low that there are no unemployed. Only the lazy illegal immigrants who come here for handouts. And they rape our white women. Especially the blonde ones. Instead of working, they rape. Everyone else has a great job. And everyone has health care, thanks to your health care plan. And the bridges are all fixed and all the potholes are gone. People say so. Remind them that people say so. Another promise fulfilled. Everyone has the best health care ever. Thanks to you.

Card#7: Remind them that you are the commander in chief. That means you have all the power. You could have come to the Congress and delivered the State of the Union anytime you wanted, but you didn’t want to until now. You can go to war anytime you want. Or Jared wants. Or Bolton wants. . Watch out Venezuela. And Iran. You will defeat them like you defeated ISIS. ISIS is no longer around. All gone. Fake news if anyone says anything else. ISIS is no more.

Card # 8: Don’t use the “n” word. THIS IS IMPORTANT. There are a lot of darkies on the Dem side and they will try to make a big deal out of it. Also, your true supporters know you are a racist, no need to remind them.

Card #9: Finish by saying God Bless America. This is of utmost importance. God…Bless…America. Remind them that you are the greatest Christian ever to be president. If you don’t remember anything else (which is a good bet) don’t forget the God Bless America line. It is better than Lock Her Up. Which reminds me. Tell them you do have the power to pardon all family members…and yourself. And you intend to do so. And there is nothing Nancy can do about it, so NYAHH, NYAHH.

 

So, if you miss the State of the Union, don’t worry. You read it here first. It is in safe hands. Of the greatest president ever!  God Bless America.

The Virgin Mary Test

There is a new test for holding office in the US. It is the Virgin Mary Test.

For those unfamiliar with good old Christianity, let me explain exactly who the Virgin Mary was.

She was the mother of Jesus. She gave birth to Jesus even though she had never had sexual intercourse, even with her husband. Never. Ever. She was as pure as the driven snow.

The perfect woman. Mother. Virgin. Unspoiled. Untouched. Like a 3 day old donut at a vegan buffet.

She never had to apologize or be contrite. Why not? Because she never did anything wrong. The ultimate Politically Correct human being. Let us adore her. Amen.

The governor of Virginia is under attack. 35 years ago he was in a photo. A racist photo. The photo showed him in blackface or a KKK robe. Maybe as part of some Halloween party. Who knows. It was in his college yearbook. He was an obvious racist. No doubt. Right there for all to see.

And he has admitted it. It was him. 35 years ago. He did wrong. Since then, as governor of Virginia he has lead the charge against racism. Spoke out loudly against the racists at Charlottesville when our POTUS was silent. Advocated for a woman’s right to control her own reproduction. Fought for a voting rights bill that made sure his black citizens would have an equal right to vote in Virginia. Ran for office with an African-American as his lieutenant governor. And won.

But now the entire Democratic establishment has spoken. I was watching MSNBC as “pundits”, black, white, women, men., are all calling for his resignation. They are horrified! Outraged! One even said this photo of him in blackface has reopened the “old wounds of racism”.

And here I am. Thinking that racism had never ended. Someone should have told me.

Not only the pundits, but the list of Democrats who want to be president weighed in.

Kamala Harris called for his resignation because…” Leaders are called to a higher standard….”

Julian Castro…his behavior was unconscionable…he must resign….

Booker, Warren, Gillibrand…all called for his resignation.

The governor of Virginia, if he is going to run as a Democrat, must be The Virgin Mary. Pure. Holy. Untainted. Ever.

Of course, the REAL racists, many in the GOP, are gleeful. They have the yearbooks, the photos, the emails, the friends, the discussions, the drunken parties of ALL the Democratic candidates for president.

The holier than thou , jump on the bandwagon crew. Did Harris ever have an affair with a married man, as some have suggested? Did Warren ever claim Native American heritage? Did Booker ever work to oppose liberal reforms in New Jersey? Did Gillibrand ever have an A rating from the NRA before she “saw the light”?

Did any white candidate ever laugh at a “negro “joke? Did any male candidate ever make a disparaging or sexist comment about a girl? Did any minority candidate ever make a “honky” joke? Did any female candidate ever make a disparaging remark about a man?

I hope not. Because the Democratic Party has now laid down the minimum requirements for office. Virginity. Purity. Of thought, word and deed for your entire life. There can be no deviation. No mistakes. No sins. Confession will not be enough. A life of good works will not be enough.

The opposition researchers of the GOP are smugly waiting in the wings. They can be patient. They will wait until the last man or woman is standing. Then they will unleash the gods of human perfection on the Democratic nominee.

The Virgin Mary never ran for office. Why not? Because in her youth she once told a joke about a Roman soldier. Ended her career.