The Ten New Things

As the three people who read my blog know, I am pretty good at predicting things. I predicted that Jeb Bush would win the presidency in 2016, that Medicare for all would be enacted and that all Republican gun owners would turn in their weapons as a show of support for children murdered every day in America. OK, so maybe no so good. HOWEVER, here is part of my end of the year prediction from December , 2017, when the GOP controlled both houses…

“Finally. Congress votes itself a 50% pay raise for a “job well done”. The legislative branch passed a total of three bills. They were: 1. “The Amazing Trump is the Best President Ever” bill awarding the Trump Medal of MAGA to the best person in America. This year’s recipient? Donald Trump. 2. “The FBI Traitor” law. Which labels all members of the FBI, former and current, official “enemies of the people” and subject to immediate permanent detention and prosecution for doing “bad stuff”. Mueller is the first to be perp walked. 3. “Congressional Vacation Act” which allows Congress to take a vacation for a period including January 2 through December 30, with pay and expenses for fact finding travel.  Mr Trump signed all three bills and praised Congress for their services… which will no longer be necessary.”

I was watching the pundits on Morning Joe this morning talking about the demise of the Democratic Party because of the APP problems in counting the Iowa Democratic caucus votes. Their main theme was the incompetency of the Democratic Party. And by extension any Democratic administration. Okey Dokey.

This was similar to another Democratic government run debacle with the roll out of the Affordable Care Act. We all remember how Obama and the Dems screwed that up. Big government at its worse. Except.

Except both the ACA roll out and the Iowa caucus problems were not caused by “big government” at all. Both were major technical  problems made by private contractors, not the government. In a nation where the prevailing narrative remains that business is more efficient than government, we see the opposite. It is the private contractors that screw things up. Regularly.

Now, let’s look at really BIG government, the Social Security administration and Veterans administration. These are the government folks who send out your Social Security and Veterans benefit checks. And have been doing so for decades. Ever miss a payment? Ever have a check bounce. Ever have a failure to deliver? I rest my case.

But, back to the pundits who are already predicting the end of the Democratic Party. It is February 4, 2020. Between now and Election day there will be at least 10 new things that will once again give the pundits something new to predict. And they will be just as certain of themselves and just as wrong as they always are. As a self-made pundit, here are my 10 new things.

1. One of the Democratic candidates will be physically assaulted, by weapon or by fist. And she will punch back.

2. A major US corporation will file for bankruptcy. And be given tax dollars as compensation.

3. Kim Jung Un will announce that he has a nuclear weapon and the ability to reach the US with it. Also announces a contract for new Trump Tower in Pyongyang.

4. Donald Trump, Jr will announce the best trade deal ever with China, and the details will be forthcoming. The details never come forth.

5. A number of global warming catastrophes around the globe will prompt the UN to hold a global warming summit, which the US will refuse to support.

6. The GNP will continue to hover around 2.3% but no one knows what that means. Although 76% of the population is certain it has something to do with the Super Bowl.

7. Photos will emerge of Mike Pence leaving a room with a woman. She looks scared. So does he.

8. Israel will announce that they accept the Kushner peace plan which allows Palestinians to look at their former homes on the West Bank during Ramadan. For 2 minutes.

9. Mike Bloomberg will buy North Dakota, Mississippi and Arkansas, giving him enough votes to win the election. He complains that he has used up all his pocket change for the week.

10. Vlad Putin will make a surprise appearance at the Republican convention and will graciously accept the nomination for president by acclimation of the party. Why not eliminate the middle man? Vlad  will then appoint Ivanka Trump as his running mate.

So, those are my predictions. And after each event the pundits will all-knowingly tell us what it means. Again.

I know what you are thinking. Most of these are WAY OUT THERE and probably not going to happen. But  number 10 is just obvious.

https://josephurban.wordpress.com/2017/12/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/techonomy/2013/11/10/the-unhealthy-truth-about-obamacares-contractors/#1a8f06bf644f

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under ACA, candidate, Congress, Conservatives, Democrat, Economy, Elections, GOP, government, liberals, neoconservatives, Politics, Senate, Society, Trump, United States

2 responses to “The Ten New Things

  1. whungerford

    You can bet on the even numbers 2 through 8.

    Like

  2. Mordantly funny and within the realm of possibilities in this bizarro world.

    Like

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