The Super Bowl Jets

The New York Jets are having a bad year. So, being a scoundrel, I thought I would rub some salt into the wound of my friend, Jim Bob Googly, a rabid Jets fan. So, I gave him a call.

Me: Howdy Jim Bob. Are you still living in the trailer behind the trailer in the Lubbock, Texas Trailer Park for the Mentally Illogical?

JB: Yepper, Joey, old boy. You suck.

Me: Just called to offer my condolences. Looks like the guys you follow are in the toilet this year.

JB: Whattya talkin about?

Me: I am talking about the New York Jets “football” team. Although I am not sure why a hick from Texas would be supporting a crappy team from New York.

JB: I hate New York, but I make an exception in the Jets case. They are the richest team out there. Major bucks. Best team ever. More money than any other team. By far. I back the winner!

ME: Well, the Jets are actually the 6th most valuable franchise, down 11% from last year. They are behind Dallas, New England, New York Giants, Los Angeles Rams and San Francisco. Still, 6th is pretty good.

JB: Bullshit. Fake news. The Jets are the tops. Don’t be fooled by the mainstream media.

Me: Whatever. You do know that the Jets have not won a single game this year, don’t you? They are 0 for 13. Major losers.

JB: That’s what the TV says. I don’t believe it. Fake news.

Me: The record is clear. The Jets could join the 2017 Cleveland Browns and the 2008 Detroit Lions as two of the worst franchises in history. They could suffer a massive defeat. In fact, they already are among the worst of all time.

JB: That’s what you say. I beg to differ, you moron. The Jets have won EVERY game this year. They are 13-0. The Jets are headed to the Super Bowl this year.

ME: Well, the Super Bowl is in February and the Jets are already mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. So, there is NO WAY they can be in the Super Bowl. Can’t happen.

FB: FALSE. There are a lot of ways the Jets can win the Super Bowl. Plenty of ways. It’s only December and the Super Bowl isn’t played until February. Boy are you stupid. Anything could happen.

Me: Well, no. It’s mathematics. They have won no games and there are only 3 games left. Even if they win all three games left they will still be last place in their division. They cannot possibly be in the Super Bowl.

JB: Mainstream media nonsense. Just because YOU say they can’t win the Super Bowl doesn’t mean anything. Not to mention your fake mathematics. Just wait. Anything can happen.

ME: Ok. So tell me HOW it would be possible?

JB: Lots of ways. Ways you know nothing about. Behind the scenes. There was a lot of fraud in the Jets losses. We are going to get those losses overturned by the commissioner. The real scores will show that the Jets won all their games. They didn’t lose a single one. 13-0. You’ll see.

Me: Well, Jim Bob, I wish you luck. But come February the New York Jets will not be on that field. I can guarantee it.

JB: That’s the problem with you liberals. It’s all “math” this and “science” that and “facts”. You have no imagination. I suppose you think Sasquatch is not real, as well. Mark my words, the New York Jets will win the Super Bowl. So, stop lying ! In fact, I already bought my tickets. Front row seats behind the Jets bench. I got them for only 50 bucks from a guy online selling them from Pennsylvania Avenue. Guaranteed.

Bats in the Belfry

There was a definite scratching noise above our heads. It was in the attic, right above the bedroom. So, in February we called in a mouse and rat exterminator.

He climbed into the attic and looked around. No. No mice. No rats. We had bats. Bats in the attic.

He suggested a company that takes out bats since in NY there are laws. Only a certified person can take out bats. Bats are protected so they can’t be killed. Which is fine with me. I like bats. The two little guys who live in the barn do a great job of insect control on the summer. But bats in the house. Not so much.

So , after the covid subsided somewhat we called in the bat people. A three day job. As they explained it.

First, safely remove the bats. (As luck would have it the bats had already left, but the toxic droppings remained).

Second, remove all the bat droppings and all the insulation.

Fumigate to kill any residual bat remains.

Close up all the holes where the bats might have entered.

Replace the insulation with new insulation.

And then, voila, a bat free, toxic free attic.

We have bats in the attic of the nation. The Trump family bats. The Republican cowardly bats. Batshit crazy. Bat dangerous. And there is only one solution.

As of January 20 we will have removed the major infestation. It will be gone, hopefully never to return. But to make sure we need to do some more work. Because other bats remain.

We need to clean up the shit infested mess left by the bat family. Clean up and fumigate. Get rid of the mess. Throw it out. Take it to the dump.

We need to put down new insulation. Insulation against idiocy and alternative facts. Insulation from Fox and Newsmax. The insulation of science. A thick layer of science. The old insulation of science was stained and weakened by the bats. We need to renew.

Then we need to plug the holes. We need to close up the avenues by which batshit politicians can enter the house. Seal it up. Make it bat proof. But that depends on the voters.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have thrown out the bats. But the work is just beginning. Trump and his batshit family are still going to fly around and crawl back into the attic. His pack of batshit followers are still trying to dirty up the house. Where they can continue to do unseen damage to the house. Undermining democracy.

The bats need to be caged. Permanently. I don’t know how. But it needs to be done.

Pardon Me Boy, Is This the Chattanooga Choochoo

The Trump Pardon Train is running out of the White House. Get on board. Get your tickets while they last. They are going fast. First class tickets on the Pardon Express are not cheap, but worth it. Better than the old “Get Out of Jail” card in game of Monopoly.

Reserved seats on the Pardon Express have already been issued. Jared, Ivanka, Don, Junior, Melania, Rudy and so many others. Even a special golden ticket for Big Don the Con himself. More to come.

Some folks are upset that the Conman in Chief is on track to pardon his organized crime family and their friends. But. There is a BIG But. (No offense to Donald’s expanding derriere).

The Pardon Express is only valid on federal tracks. Those local trains still require a full fare. And full acceptance of the law. The New York local is on track to send Big Don the Con and his spawn to a private island . No, not another visit by Don to Jeffrey Epstein’s little rapists’ paradise. I am referring to Riker’s Island, a scenic bit of property in the middle of the Big Apple. A very nice piece of real estate.

So, let the pardons flow. We all know how this story ends.

We all know that this criminal family cannot help itself. The Pardon Train tickets are only good for “past crimes”, not future ones. Be real. Rudy and Jared and Ivanka and Don, Jr cannot help themselves. Neither can Big Don the Con. Within 2 years they will be back to their old habits. They are not going to change their basic personalities.

Wait for it. Pardon all you want. The Chattanooga Choo Choo is on track to Riker’s Island. It’s a one way ticket. And Biden will not be pardoning anyone.

A Sterling Performance

Gabriel Sterling is outraged. He is the Republican commissioner of elections in Georgia and he is mad. He is angry with Donald Trump and the Republican members of the US Senate. He has had enough! Some of what he has said:

“Mr. President, you have not condemned these actions or this language. Senators, you have not condemned this language or these actions,” Sterling said, visibly angry. “This has to stop. We need you to step up, and if you’re going to take a position of leadership, show some.”

Ouch! Calling out the POTUS. Why? Well, there has been a campaign of lies and disinformation about the Georgia election. Trump has even attacked REPUBLICAN leaders in Georgia. There have been death threats against election workers. Just guys doing their job.

And Sterling is mad as hell. A performance for the ages. Angry. How dare Mr Trump attack fellow Republicans? How dare Trump not condemn calls for violence against elected Republican officials? Finally, someone stands up for decency!

A Sterling Performance.

I have no doubt that Mr Sterling is sincere in his anger. His anger about lies. About calls for violence, no matter how thinly veiled. Mad as hell. Of course, Mr Sterling has made it clear that he supports Trump and his policies. He supports the two corrupt GOP candidates for the Senate in Georgia, as well. But he is mad as hell that Trump and his supporters are attacking Republicans.

But… I wonder where Mr Sterling has been over the last 5 years?

Where was his anger at the lies told by Trump about President Obama and where he was born. Birtherism?

Where was his anger when Trump led chants of “Lock Her Up” proposing that his opponent in the 2016 election be jailed?

Where was his outrage when Trump claimed massive voter fraud in 2016 but provided not evidence?

Where was his anger when Trump targeted Muslims as enemies of the US?

Where was his anger when Mr trump complimented racists at Charlottesville as very good people?

Where was his anger when Trump called Mexicans rapists and criminals?

Where was his outrage when Trump engaged in a policy of ripping children from their parents at the border and shipping them across the country to be lost in the system?

Where was his outrage when Trump called on his supporters to “rebel” against the governor of Michigan?

Where was his anger at Mr Trump using the US government to try to force the president of Ukraine to make up false information about Joe Biden?

Where was his anger as thousands of Americans die for covid-19 while the corrupt president golfs?

And I could go on and on and on.

A Sterling performance. And typical of a political party that will accept any corruption. Any language. And lies. Anything goes.

As long as they are aimed at “the other”. As long as the targets are Democrats or liberals or blacks or Muslims.

A Sterling Performance. Of hypocrisy.

‘This has to stop’: Georgia official urges Trump to rein in supporters after threats to election workers