I like to try to write parody. But lately I find myself unable to compete with “reality”. It is extremely frustrating to try to outdo the current bunch of loonies masquerading as normal folks. For example. A brief summary of what the CPAC and their loons find essential to our nation. I should note that at the first day of CPAC no one mentioned the Covid relief needed by Americans. Unemployment. War. All non-issues to the major conservative “thinkers”.
The Muppets. Evidently the Muppets are somehow central to the right wing philosophy. I recall in the past that the conservatives hated the Muppets for “indoctrinating” our children with political correctness, like diversity. But no longer. According to CPAC, the Muppets have been cancelled.
For some reason Disney, which now owns the Muppets, saw fit to issue a “warning” that some of the Muppet shows may deal with stereotyping. So, this warning , according to CPAC , means the Muppets are victims of “cancel culture”. I am sure Miss Piggy will not take this sitting down.
For sake of full disclosure, Disney put forth the same warnings on “the Aristocrats”, “Swiss Family Robinson”, “Peter Pan” and “Dumbo”.
So, this little disclaimer is one of the major issues at CPAC. I am not sure who is harmed by this disclaimer. I mean, we are talking about the Muppets. It is possible that the CPAC members don’t understand that the Muppets are not real people. The live their entire non-existent lives as colorful pieces of cloth with human hands manipulating their hands and arms and with a hand stuck up their butts. They have no brains. They have no independent motions… Oh, wait. I just figured out why the Trump supporting CPAC members find this offensive.
Then there is the strange case of Mr Potato Head. The demise of Mr Potato Head by Hasbro is, according to CPAC, another example of the skid of our society into the depths of despair. Canceling this American icon is tantamount to blowing up the sculpture of Lincoln on Mount Rushmore. The final example of political correctness gone amok. How dare the liberals, in the name of gender equality, throw spud into the fire? How dare Hasbro to make a hash out of national icon? The horror! Oh God! Au Gratin!
OK, so Hasbro did not really turn Mr Potato Head into fries. What Hasbro did was change their own logo from “MR.” Potato Head to just “Potato Head”. That’s it. A private company changed with the times. Mr Potato Head is still around, as is Mrs. Potato Head and even Baby Potato Head. Still, the major conservative political organization is outraged by this. This is a major issue !
I recall Mr Potato Head from my youth. I have always found him(?) to be strangely gender neutral. Being a curious youth and a more curious adult and a potato grower myself I have tried for years to identify the gender of Yukon Gold and Norland. To no avail. Search as I might, I have never been able to locate a penis or vagina on any spud. And believe me I have tried. Which makes me wonder. Is Mrs Potato Head simply a transvestite? A transgender veggie? Have our children been victimized for years by this liberal plot to make us immune to the realities of sexually ambiguous vegetables? At least cucumbers leave no doubt about sexual orientation.
Finally, PAC rolled out the parody of all parodies. The Golden Ass statute of their god. The Golden Trump. Complete with patriot red, white and blue panties. An icon worthy of worship. This organization devoted to personal freedom and independence bowing down to the golden icon of the golden con. The golden wheeler dealer on wheels. A false god worthy of worship by false conservatives.
At first I was certain this statue was a liberal trick. A joke meant to poke fun at the CPAC worship of the most anti-freedom former president since James Buchanan. Certainly this would exposed as an Al Franken stunt or a SNL skit. An obviously foolish jibe at the brainless, mindless followers of the Golden Khan.
But no. The golden statue is real. The complaints about the puppets are real. The outrage over the naming of a vegetable toy is real.
The end of parody. How do you top that?
The Old Liberal 
I think you did quite well in the parody dept. with this one, Joseph. Though it would be more amusing if it weren’t so dangerous. The very people whining about political correctness are now trying to CANCEL any references to discussions about diversity and any need to be aware of the feelings of others—except their own.
As I recall, concerns about an “affair” between Ernie and Bert have hovered in the weirdosphere for decades.
Yes, that golden idol with the short pants was a sight to behold. I’m guessing the former guy didn’t take to it—and it’s probably been melted down like the Wicked Witch…
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The right wing has truly gone off the deep end. It’s beyond excruciating to be subjected to their assertions and rants for even a few moments. I had naively thought that afterTrump left office, Trumpism would gradually fade into irrelevance. It is now clear that they have no shame, and this abomination will be with us for years….if not forever.
What a shame.
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Keep in mind that Trump never started a movement or an organization. He simply took over the hate-filled part of the GOP and they embraced him. He has never worked to build anything in his life. So, when he is gone there will be Cruz and Hawley and Green and others ready to jump in on the racist bandwagon.
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Joe, Trump’s Sunday CPAC speech left no doubt about his acknowledgment of “Trumpism”. He spent 20 minutes or more defining it, reveling in it, making it part and parcel of his legacy. He has worked hard to build and adorn this facet of his life. The politics he leaves behind, like his buildings, will be a testament to an ego out of control and an ethos out of touch.
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