Time for a Change

Looks like the US Senate has finally agreed to throw aside partisan politics and solve some important issues. After years of mindless squabbling for partisan advantage, they have come together to deliver a victory to the American way of life.

Hunger? Latest estimates claim that 17,000,000 American children go hungry every day. Nope.

Gun violence? 20,726 gun deaths in 2021. Excluding thousands of suicides. Not today.

Health Insurance? In 2020, over 28,000,000 Americans did not have health insurance at some point during the year. Oops.

Voting rights? State after imposes new hurdles to stop black folks from casting a ballot. No big deal.

Nope. Those issues, while important to some, pale compared to the tough choices made by the Senate.

Time. What time is it? Time for a change. The issue bringing together Mark Rubio and Corey Booker is the issue of time. Is it 5 PM or 4 PM? Do we wake up at 5AM or 6AM? The greatest debating body in the world (as they like to call themselves) have finally decided to take to the floor and debate an issue of timeless importance.

Daylight Savings Time. How should we accept the challenge of time? Right now most Americans are forced to change there clocks twice a year. TWICE!! Outside of wearing a mask to prevent the spread of a deadly virus, can you think of a greater infringement on freedom? The outrage! The unmitigated gall !!

So. Led by the staunchest defender of the rights of men (not women) the Senate UNANIMOUSLY passed a law making time permanent. Little Marco Rubio charged forth and spoke about the tremendous benefits of DST. From his speech…..

““The benefits of Daylight Saving Time have also been accounted for in the research. For example, reduced crime as there’s light later in the day. We’ve seen decreases in child obesity. A decrease in seasonal depression that many feel during Standard Time. ……

“I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’ve watched youth sporting events be called in the middle or near the end of the game, before it’s actually concluded, because there’s not enough lights. …”

The HORROR! Fat kids roaming around. Violence in the streets . Mental illness running rampant. (Nothing to do with poor quality school lunch programs or the easy availability of guns or lack of mental health facilities). These problems are all cause by STANDARD TIME!!! Marco has finally put to bed the myth that people may have problems because of poor government. Nope. It’s all about time.

All those kids who would prefer to be running around after school are instead forced to be in their basements on their computers because of standard time! If only we had known years ago we could have ended crime by simply setting the clocks up one hour!

I am reminded of a study that came out over 20 years ago suggesting that high schools should start later because kids need more sleep and don’t function well in the morning. My own faculty discussed it at the time and while a minority (me, of course) thought it made sense, the idea was quickly dumpstered by the administration. Not based on science. The reason was simple. If we started school and hour later it would cut into the after school sports programs. Education be damned, pass me the ball.

Of course, Little Marco was not alone in his excitement and vocalizations. Across the aisle members speechified about all the wonders of DST. Patty Murray, Dem of Washington state, pointed out that for one day the change over “disrupted” children’s sleeping patterns !! Disrupted sleeping patterns? Tell it to Ukrainian mothers.

And,of course, no debate would be complete without hearing from that proponent of freedom and fashion plate, Senator Sinema. You know, the one who opposes the voting rights of minorities and the Build Back Better bill. The female with the fashion flair . The conscience of white America. According to the NYTimes when the vote was passed, this senator was presiding over the chamber. She shouted “Yes!” and clenched her fists in VICTORY!! One small step for mother time…. one giant leap for …well, something.

So, the sun will rise and the sun will set. And the Senate has decided to decide to put a new number of that phenomenon. Perhaps someone should tell them that the laws of nature still decide the actual time of day. Or maybe not. Why not pass a law eliminating Mondays. We hate Mondays. Call Mondays something like “The Day Before Tuesday”. Sounds pretty good. OR.

Who knows, the Senate might decide to pass a law demanding that the Earth spin on its axis. Might even get Joe Manchin to go along. Maybe.


Filed under Politics

19 responses to “Time for a Change

  1. Pingback: The Senate Astonishes: Votes Unanimously…and Gets Things Exquisitely Wrong… – annieasksyou…

  2. Youth sports will still start at a time when it will be dark before some games are over. RUBIO would have done better to propose a law that games only last half as long! And anyone who believed his bullshit is as stoopid as he is. I called something ABSURD yesterday. This is possibly even more ABSURD than that, whatever it was. Stopping crime with DST? Stopping child obesity? Helping lower winter depression? Who let this ass out of the hospital for the mentally insane?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Time for a Change — The Old Liberal | just drive, will you?

  4. I’m far from a fan of Marco Rubio, but I believe it was Donald Trump who first mocked him with the “Little Marco” label….so, as a matter of common civility, I don’t think liberals should dignify Trump’s gratuitous perversity by constantly parroting it. Let’s save most (if not all) of our name-shaming for Trump himself, because where he’s concerned, it’s not gratuitous.

    With apologies for getting off-topic, I’m otherwise on board with your post.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Well, I think we have to admit that Donald was right about some things.His characterizations of his GOP opponents seem on target. After all, they all fell in line behind him like little soldiers, no matter how badly he treated them. None of them showed any backbone. Little Marco is one. So is Lying Ted, etc.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. M. Sully

    Hey, Old Liberal.
    Came upon an old photograph yesterday of our kids at a picnic at 12 Pearl St. Brought back some fond memories.
    Did some on line digging, and lo and behold there you were in Naples. A wonderful place.
    Your writings are excellent! The old liberal has aged well.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Nan

    Check out the East Coast at Christmas!

    Liked by 2 people

    • maryplumbago

      Good one!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Good catch, Nan. I had forgotten they tried that before. Lasted a whole 3 months, eh? Well, I think it is probably a good thing to get rid of time changes–the morning after also causes a lot of accidents. But it makes no difference to anything if they go permanent Standard or Saving time! The number of hours of light and darkness depends on the sun, not on a friggin’ clock! Maybe if Senstors are all that easily duped, the US is better not having them debate possible bills they do not have the capability to understand, let alone weigh in on!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It was one giant leap for uselessness. You captured the thoughts and comments made in our household well. The disgust with this august body runs deep.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Reblogged this on Filosofa's Word and commented:
    Well, folks, the U.S. Senate finally managed to pass a piece of legislation. Don’t get too excited, though … as fellow-blogger Joseph Urban tells us with his usual tongue-in-cheek humour, there is really nothing to see here. No applause for the U.S. Senate today!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is undoubtedly the best post I’ve read recently! I agree 100%. They couldn’t agree to protect our right to vote, women’s rights, civil rights, healthcare, and more, but they can agree on something this irrelevant!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is The Old Liberal at his (your) best, Joseph! We need more of him/you.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I cannot wait for the partisan finger pointing 9 months from now when we’re all complaining about 9am sunrises.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. “Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.” –George Jean Nathan (said about a hundred years ago)

    ’twas ever thus.

    Liked by 5 people

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