Harden Schools, Hardened Hearts

After the latest school shooting in Uvalde. Well, this is 5 days later so maybe not the latest. At any rate, after the regularly scheduled school shooting, the party of guns had possible answers to this national event.

Luckily I was able to catch the attention of Ted Cruz. It wasn’t hard since I had a camera. This is the same Ted Cruz who cleverly escapes the frequent Texas electrical grid failures by flying to Cancun. The guy whose father helped assassinate JFK. Not what I say, that’s what former President Donald says. The man Trump called an “unstable person”.If anyone should know…

So, I asked Ted to explain how he would make schools safe.

Ted: We need to make schools safe. As my good friend President Trump as said, schools need doors that lock. From the inside. Doors inside the school that lock.

Me: As a teacher of over 30 years I know a little about school safety. So, Ted, every school has doors with locks.

Ted: And that is the problem. Too many doors. You see , we need to harden schools by having only one door. That door should be secure, guarded and locked from the inside. Easy. Stop blaming the guns and put the blame were it belongs, our liberal unsafe schools.

Me: But, Ted , some schools have 1000 or more students. With one door how long will it take for them to enter and exit. Kids will be lined up outside. Won’t they be even easier targets for some mentally ill guy with an AR-15.

Ted: Easy solution. What you need is a fence around the schools . A brick fence about 10 feet high so no one can see around it to target kids. And, to prevent them from climbing over it, put razor wire on top. And towers at the corners with snipers to make sure no bad guys approach the school.

Me: We have 130,000 schools in this nation. So, you are proposing 130,000 fortresses?

Ted: If that is what it takes to keep our children safe. Let me reiterate. One door in each school. With locks. One highly paid resource officer at the door. Armed. A brick fence surrounding the school, manned by snipers. A small price to pay for the children. The children! Thoughts and prayers. Sad.

Me: Back to the school. If there is just one door what happens if there is a fire? How do the kids get out?

Ted: We need to make sure the site is completely hardened. That means no flammable material. No paper products of any kind. Nothing that can burn. We need to eliminate all books and writing materials.

Me: OK.. what about the windows. Couldn’t a shooter fire through the windows?

Ted: No windows. Solves the problems. An all brick building with one door.

Me: Well, that sounds a lot to me like a prison. Except in prison the convicts get to read books.

Ted: Exactly. And how many prisons have you seen where a mass murderer was able to get in and kill many convicts at once with an AR-15. Just does not happen. There is the proof. Make every school a prison. No place safer than a prison. Problem solved.

Me: Wouldn’t it be easier to prevent the bad guys from getting the AR-15s in the first place.

Ted: But then kids would not have their 2nd Amendment rights ! Just imagine the kind of society we would have if AR-15s were illegal or the mentally ill could not get a gun? What kind of nation would we become?

Me: Wouldn’t all children be safer? In every school? In every community?

Ted: Maybe so, but then when could I offer my thoughts and prayers.


Filed under Education, GOP, gun control, Politics, US

14 responses to “Harden Schools, Hardened Hearts

  1. Urban Michael

    I would like to show the types of guns which were used during the 2nd Amendments addition…vs. what guns we have today in comparison!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Irv

    Overpopulation is one of the biggest challenges facing humanity.
    The Republican’s contribution to overpopulation is to kill children before they can procreate.
    They should be commended.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Very clever,
    With a guy like Cruz it was difficult to tell if that was actually his voice.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Probably not that far off a real interview with the Repuglycan turd. Except he would never say the “Maybe so.” That would sound too much like waking up.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’d love to see you actually interview Cruz. He’d leave more quickly than he did when the BBC reporter pressed him.

    I used the phrase “armed fortresses” in my post on “wisdom about guns” today. I worry about Chris Murphy’s saying he’ll uncomfortably compromise over Republicans’ insistence on “hardening” schools.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Reblogged this on Filosofa's Word and commented:
    When someone, particularly a politician, opens his mouth and speaks, he should logically have considered the ramifications of what he says. Joseph Urban has written of a not-improbably conversation with the ignoble Ted Cruz that is at once both humorous and frightening. Is this road from Cruz’ remark about doors really such a stretch of the imagination these days? Thank you, Joseph, for this funny and yet thought-provoking post!

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s