Those Phone Calls…Very Presidential

Mr Trump has (once again) claimed that something has happened which did not happen.  Despite what he has said,  he did not receive congratulatory phone calls from the president of Mexico. Nor from the Boy Scouts. In fact, the Boy Scouts apologized for his remarks.

While some might suggest that the erroneous statements made by Trump are untrue, that is hardly the case.   As his current spokesperson. Ms Huckabee Sanders , has stated about these falsehoods: “I wouldn’t say it was a lie — that’s a pretty bold accusation.”

But, in the world of Trump, up is down, right is left, truth is lies and real news is fake. This incident did remind me of some phone calls I have received over the years from parents, public figures and various members of the animal kingdom. I shall share. While these might not be completely “true”, none of them are “lies”. According to Ms Huckabee Sanders.

The Pope called to beg me to return to the one, true apostolic church. Since I had left the church attendance at all Roman Catholic masses had declined. A lot. The Pope told me that I was the best Catholic ever, except for my sins. He said I was an amazing apostate. And he wants me back. Honest. He said that.

Tiger Woods called to congratulate me on my latest golf score, a scorching 89 (from the women’s tees). He told me I had the most amazing hook he had ever seen.  He wished he could play as well as I do. And my 3 putting was fantastic. Really. He did. He said that.

A former principal I worked for called and left a message. He told me I was the best employee that he had ever supervised. And he loved the many suggestions I made to him as to where to place his various suggestions for improvement. He said my creative responses were the best he had ever seen. Although he was finding it difficult to actually insert my suggestions into the appropriate orifice. But, according to him, I was the best! Amazing. Really. He said that.

Then there was the parent whose kid failed my class. As a result he was not admitted to Trump University’s School of Relativity and Prevarication. Even though I ruined the kid’s life , the mother insisted that I was the best teacher ever. She praised my firm stand on the issue of doing at least some homework once in awhile. She placed the complete blame on the situation on her son. I was blameless. I was fantastic. I was amazing. Honest. She said that.

The Donald himself called me just last week. He insisted that I was a political genius. He stated that he had never read any comments as clever or “on the spot” as mine. He talked about how he welcomed criticism as a way to improve his performance in the difficult task of president. He told me to keep up the great work. I was doing a fantastic job! Amazing! Really. He said that.

And the list goes on. But I am too modest to continue.

If you don’t believe me, please contact Ms. Huckabee Sanders. She can explain that it is not a lie to tell a story that isn’t true. It is presidential.

 

 

 

Planned Parenthood Shooting Responses

News Item: 3 are dead in Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado.

At this point I do not know HOW the GOP candidates will respond to this latest act of violence. Imagine if these were the responses of the GOP candidates for president.

Trump: We must go after these domestic terrorists with everything we have. I will not tolerate it. A Trump president would go in with guns blazing.  Take them out. Let  these old white guys know that as Americans we do not tolerate terrorism. I would  register all adult white Christians and keep very close tabs on them.

Carson: I am saddened by the loss of life. We should never allow violence to rule our lives. I reject violence in all its forms. Just as we welcome newborns into the world, so should we welcome refugees to our shore. All life is sacred.

Huckabee: God bless the police officer and civilians who were killed by this outrageous act. True Christians do not commit murder. This man was not a true Christian.  True Christians believe in love and brotherhood. Let us all condemn this violence against these women who are simply seeking health care. And condemn the use of violence as Jesus would.

Gowdy: We will investigate this. Congress needs to investigate where these domestic killers are getting their weapons . Then we need to stop the easy access to these weapons. I pledge to work across the aisle with the Democrats to  finally put an end to these senseless killings by introducing effective gun control.

Rubio: I condemn these murders. We must be a nation of laws,  not a nation of violence. We need to stop pandering to the worst in people and to hate. Let us work together to make sure all women have access to good health care so so day we will not need Planned Parenthood.  Until then, we must protect women who are exercising their Constitutional rights.

Christie: Perhaps we need to stop yelling at each other and discuss issues  like adults. Let us have an honest conversation and not try to bully each other over these issues. Let’s stop blaming Obama for every problem we have in this country. Most of all, let’s  respect each other as equals and fight domestic terrorism together. Let’s stop the blustering and try to solve problems.

Bush: Every American has the right to health care. The US Constitution must be respected. Let us join in a national day of mourning and support for a woman’s right to choose. Let us condemn violence against women and show our support for the Constitution. When you take the law into your own hands you destroy the idea of law itself.

Wouldn’t those responses be something?

Kim Davis Employment Agency

Kim: Welcome to the Kim Davis Employment Agency.  May we,  with the help of the Good Lord, find you a job?

Joe: Yes. I see you have an opening for a Social Studies teaching position. I would like to apply.

Kim: Good. Do you agree with all the terms of employment?

Joe: Well. Not really.I am supposed to teach about Buddhism and Islam but I don’ want to do that.

Kim: No problem. It is your right not to teach about heathens.

Joe: Also. I find it against my beliefs to show up for work on Mondays or Thursdays. Is that okay?

Kim: No problem. You should not have to  compromise your beliefs.

Joe: But I still get full pay, right?

Kim: Of course, no one should be denied pay because of their beliefs.

Joe: A minor problem, perhaps. I am not a certified teacher. I never went to college because all colleges are full of atheists and communists. It was against my firmly held beliefs to associate with intellectuals.

Kim: No problem. We cannot punish you for your desire to remain ignorant and narrow. It is your constitutional right under the 2nd Amendment. So, do you want the job?

Joe: Let me consider. Full pay. No work  on Mondays or Thursdays. No degree needed and teach whatever I want . Praise Jesus.  By the way, it is also against my religion to pay employment placement fees.

Contestant #8: The Huckster: Praise Jesus and Pass the Collection Plate

Eighth in a series of biased reviews of the people who claim they want to be president. It  keeps getting weirder, if you can believe that.

Mike Huckabee. Former governor. Talk show host. Peddler of the “Diabetes Solution Kit”. Minister of the word of God.  This guy does it all!

A look at the “issues” section of  his website: http://www.mikehuckabee.com/issues

The Huckster has plenty of issues. They include: Record as Governor; Israel; Energy;Undecided Voters; Seniors;Education; 2nd Amendment;Tax Reform; Veterans;Spending Debt; National Security; Health Care; Border Security; and, Family Values. Unlike some candidates, Huckabee has a good list of important issues. So, let’s see where he stands.

Let’s just pick a few.

Tax Reform. His Fair Tax Plan (not explained) will lower EVERYONE’s taxes. Bring investment to the US. And abolish the IRS. So, I guess if I decide not to pay any taxes there will be no agency to collect from me. Brilliant! Mike notes that he cut taxes “nearly 100 times” as governor of Arkansas. Doing a little research I found the website for Huckabee’s “Fair Tax Plan”. It eliminates ALL income taxes, including payments to SS and Medicare. Replaces it with a national “sales tax”. Then gives “prebates” to everyone to pay part of the sales tax that they will now be paying. . I cannot figure out how this raises any revenue. The numbers just don’t add up. Oh, well.

Health Care. He opposes the ACA. Calls it a disaster. He would replace it with…he does not say. He would repeal it . Then what? He would use “common sense”. He says that the ACA has taken $ 700 billion from Medicare. A claim that has been shown to be a falsehood  but is often repeated. (Factcheck calls this claim a “Whopper”, their highest honor for falsehoods).

Education: He opposes the federal government controlling education (It doesn’t). He says educational decisions are best left to “Mom and Dad” (Anyone can homeschool). He demands accountability in the classroom…and opposes accountability schemes like Common Core. Also, college costs too much. (Why can’t Mom and Dad just offer B.A degrees from home?)

Family Values. Life begins at conception. According to Huckabee this is not just a “Biblical” view but a “scientific” one. (He does not quote a Biblical passage or a scientific study that supports this). He also supports “traditional” marriage . (Who doesn’t it?). As governor he signed a “Fetal Protection Act” . (While it is not on his website it should be noted that Huckabee has been endorsed by the Dugars family… Nineteen kids and counting. Just think if every family was as prolific. Old Huck would win in a landslide!)

OK. Huckabee DOES have a political record to look at. So, he has a list of his accomplishments as governor of Arkansas.

Record as Governor. Tax cuts. Tax cuts on capital gains. Tax cuts for families. Average family income INCREASED by 50%. WOW! Cut 50% of poor folks off welfare ! Executed 16 people.  (I presume many were criminals, he doesn’t say). Refused to commute sentences. Appointed a “home schooling ” parent to the state Board of Education. Issued a “Home School  Day” proclamation. Passed an abortion ban and a “marriage protection act”.

What does Factcheck have to say about some of these financial accomplishments?

While Huckabee did CUT some taxes 94 times, he also INCREASED taxes 21 times. The overall impact? A $ 500 million net INCREASE for the people of Arkansas. Household incomes did increase by 50%…but 41% of that was INFLATION. Actually median incomes rose by 9% from 1996-2007 when he was governor.

Bottom line. Huckabee is running as the “Christian” candidate. He emphasizes the Bible and religion as central to his candidacy . Even mentions that god gave Abraham the land in the Middle East as the basis of his foreign policy. He is very aggressive in the areas of “right to life” and “traditional marriage”. Code words for ending Roe v Wade and gay marriage.

One would have to think that his primary goal in running for POTUS is to fatten up his retirement account with donations sent in by the faithful. A religious conman?  A family values kind of guy ? Well, he did forget to mention that he has appeared on stage with that icon of civility and family values, Ted Nugent.

Parise the lord and pass the hat, the Huckster is back in business.