Bamboo-zled

There is an audit going on in Maricopa County. The audit is being performed to make sure that all the votes cast for president in Maricopa County, Arizona were legal. In order to try to understand exactly what is going on I have contacted my boyhood friend, Teddy “The Hammer” Flortasky who is one of the auditors. Here is what I discovered in my ZOOM interview.

Me: Hi Teddy, how are you doing.

Teddy: I am doing fine. By the way, I prefer that you call me by my nickname, “The Hammer”.

Me: OK, Hammer. I often wondered how you go that nickname. Were you a football lineman who “hammered” your opponent? Or were you on the wrestling team , with a patented “hammer” move? Or on the track team, throwing the “hammer”? I don’t recall you participating in those areas.

The Hammer: Nah, none of those. I was given that nickname by my father. As a teenager I helped him in the workshop. He had me get his tools. One day he was building a box and needed to pound in some nails. He told me to go get a tool. I brought back a screwdriver. He said, “No, I am pounding in nails”. So, I went and brought him a pair of pliers. He said, “No, I am pounding in nails”. So, I went and found a saw and brought it to him. He got angry and shouted,”The hammer, the hammer”. So, that nickname stuck. I kinda liked it.

Me: OK . So, you are now auditing the Maricopa County ballots, but haven’t they already been counted twice?

TH: Well, the fact is that those official audits were done by the state election officials. Can’t believe them. We know Trump won Arizona so obviously the recounts were not fair. When we finish the recount I can guarantee that Trump has won.

Me: Well, what are your qualifications for doing the audit. I mean, the previous audits were done in public by impartial trained auditors. You are behind closed doors with a private company. With untrained, partisan auditors. In secret. So, what is your training.

TH: I work for the Cyber Ninjas. Do you know what Ninjas are? They are best fighters. They understand Q’Anon. So, that is proof right there. They are the best. You can tell by the name. What training do I have? What training do I need? I am a proud American . I can count. In third grade I got the gold star for counting. Anyway, my job is not to count the ballots. My boss told me my job was to NOT count the bad ballots. We must not count bad ballots.

ME: How do you know a ballot is bad? I mean, haven’t they already been verified? What is a bad ballot?

TH: So happy you asked. I have been trained to spot bad ballots. First, any ballot that was filled out for Biden is likely to be a bad ballot. We set that one aside. If it looks like maybe the person meant to vote for Trump but made a mistake and voted for Biden, we count that as a Trump vote. Now, other Biden ballots must be thoroughly examined for bamboo.

ME: Bamboo? Why bamboo? What does bamboo have to do with anything?

TH: Boy are you naive. We know, for a fact, that over 40,000 ballots filled out for Biden were shipped to Maricopa County by some Asian people. And , coincidentally, Biden won the county by 40,000 votes. Do the math. Wait, let me get my calculator…. wait…. and subtract….. So, my calculator tells me that those 40,000 votes, if taken away from Biden, gives him 40,000 fewer votes in Arizona. And voila! Trump wins. But, back to bamboo. These bamboo ballots must have come from Asia, since that is the only place bamboo grows. Figure it out. Ballots with bamboo. Asia. It’s obvious.

ME: Have you found any bamboo in any ballots? How do you check for that?

TH: Easy, hold it up to the light. If it’s a Biden ballot it probably has bamboo. It has bamboo, it must be from Asia. Must be from Asia, throw it out. Figure it out. Bamboo is bad. UnAmerican.

ME: Actually, there are bamboo groves in other countries, not just in Asian countries.

TH: Maybe so, but not in the good old US of A, my friend. So, no matter where, the ballots are fake if they have bamboo.

ME: There are bamboo groves in the US, so maybe the bamboo paper came from the USA?

TH: Maybe, but only in the liberal states. So, it would be liberal bamboo. See my point.

ME: There are at least 4 bamboo groves in Hawaii. Pipiwai Trail, Manoa Trail, Makaleha Trail and the Allerton Botanical Garden all have bamboo groves.

TH: See, you prove my point, no bamboo in the USA.

ME: OK…But there are also bamboo forests in the Wilderness Bamboo Forest in Alabama, The Koreshan State Park in Florida, and the East Palisades Trail in Georgia. In fact, there are 3 species of bamboo that are native to the United States. So, how to you know where the bamboo comes from. It even grows in Arizona.

TH: You see how devious the Democrats are? Not only did they use Asian bamboo, but they also used American bamboo to fool people like you. You need to just look at the facts. Trump won. We know it. Now, it’s just a matter of time before we prove it. Don’t be fooled by evidence.

With that we signed off on ZOOM and The Hammer went back to holding up Biden ballots to the light, searching for Asian bamboo. And you know what. I think they are going to find at least 40,000 ballots to throw out. It wouldn’t be the first time we have been bamboozled.

The New Network

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GDT… Gun Deaths Today. Approximately 100 Americans are murdered each day by guns. All kinds of wonderful guns. That’s an equivalent number of deaths caused by one terror attack on 9/11, each and EVERY MONTH. Yet, most stations only cover the big ones, the mass shootings. But mass shootings are just a small part of the story. Stop ignoring the little guy. Every day, the GDT will bring you as many of murders as possible. Including our TOP TEN innocents killed. Don’t be left out. Keep up with the ongoing story of murders in America on Gun Deaths Today.

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VST… Voter Suppression Today. Every day another state passes laws suppressing the votes. How can we keep up? Is it Georgia? Is it Arizona? Ohio? Mississippi? So many states and so little time. The VST makes it easy. Every day we bring you Republican lawmakers explaining how they are preventing blacks, students and other undesirables from voting. Keep democracy white. Watch the VST and feel good for a change. But don’t forget to bring your own water!!

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Farewell Address, 2021

Many presidents give a farewell address when they leave office. Washington warned about entangling alliances for the young, weak republic. Eisenhower warned about the military-industrial complex, whose power we see flexed daily. Clinton outlined his accomplishments and called for national unity.

Some of Mr Trump’s advisors have been encouraging him to follow suit. He should speak to the American people about his accomplishments and thoughts about the future.

One of the last members of the administration still working at the White House happens to be a dear friend. He is the advisor to the keeper of the First Lady’s closet and information director for the chauffeur of Don Trump , Junior’s wife’s mother. (A lot of vacancies at this time require multiple posts to be filled). He is also the top speech writer for Kelly Anne Conway, Sean Hannity, Bobo the Talking Chimp and President Trump. I know, it sounds redundant.

At any rate, he leaked the Trump “Final Address to the Nation by the Best President Ever and Ever Will Be. Maybe the Final, Maybe Not.””

Here goes:

My fellow Americans, 4 years ago I promised to rid this government of experts, intelligent advisors, men and women of character and decency. And I succeeded. MAGA.

My accomplishments, which are the best accomplishments ever in the history of the world are amazing. That’s not what I say. That’s what people say. Many fine people. So many people say that. So many.

I have transformed this country from one where decency and honest disagreements can be fought on the battle ground of ideas, to one where real patriots fight on the steps of the Capitol. I won. I won. I won.

My followers have shown us what America CAN be if we follow my path. From the torch lit nights in Charlottesville filled with many fine people, to the patriots who beat to death the police officer in the Capitol. From the knee on the neck of George Floyd to the cages used to house children ripped from their parents arms. Brown children. We are now living in MY America. I love em all. Give em hell.

But enough about me. Let me talk about my accomplishments over the last 4 years.

I have packed the court with radical judges that will, for generations to come, repress the liberty of women and the communists. No president has ever made so many judges. I don’t know many of them. But Mitch handed me a list and I did my duty. I did what I was told and how does he repay me!

I promised to build a wall to keep out the brown skinned Mexicans and others. I built over 400 miles. Well, I built 40 new miles, the other 360 miles was substituting new wall for barricades that already existed. And Mexico is paying for it. I promise. We are paying these wonderful contractors now, but eventually Mexico will pay. They will. Eventually. Just like I promised.

I hired the best cabinet ever. With no regard for expertise, training or capability, I assembled a cabinet full of sycophants, liars, grifters and clowns never seen before in America. A millionaire Education secretary that knew nothing about education. Some Chinese woman married to Mitch who knew nothing about transportation. Some black guy who used to be a doctor, I put him in charge of Housing for the Negroes. (That’s why the Negroes love me). And a few of my appointees still have NOT been indicted for grifting . The BEST people. MAGA

I became good friends with Kim Jung Un and now he has promised to end his nuclear program. I love that little guy. He just added some nukes on submarines and is developing short range missiles that can hit targets in South Korea. And long range ones to target the USA. But he promised not to use them. A victory for me. Anyway, that’s Biden’s problem.

I took us out of the Climate Change Agreements and Iran nuclear deal. A couple hoaxes . Now, the evil Iranians are developing new nuclear capabilities, just as I predicted. And there is no climate change, it’s still winter in some places. I don’t see any polar bears in Florida, do you? Duh. Two more victories for me.

Now, about the economy. In my first 3 years, BEFORE the Chinese virus, my massive tax breaks to the wealthy created almost as many jobs as the Negro did in his last three years. Almost. And I leave you with the highest unemployment data since the Great Depression !! The so-called experts said it couldn’t be done, but I am the first president in modern times to leave office with fewer Americans employed than when he took office ! MAGA

I told you that fake pandemic would disappear and it has. Almost 400,000 dead Americans, and with each death another virus dies. That’s how you kill a virus. Plus, I had the virus and now it is gone! So, what’s the problem? The Chinese virus was just an attempt to make me look bad. It has disappeared from all my speeches and comments. Where is it? Where did it go? Who knows? Can’t find it.

As in regard to my good friend, Vlad Putin. We had many great meetings. People said they were the best meetings ever. Imagine that? The best ever. No one gives Vlad better meetings than me. No one. Even the Politiburo said so. I wish I could share with you the notes for those meetings. But they got lost.

So, as I leave the White House as the first president elected TWICE in a landslide I leave you with this thought. In 1923 a patriot in Bavaria named Adolph led a mob and tried to violently overthrow the government. He failed. He went to prison but was quickly pardoned. 10 years later he became the chancellor of the German republic.

So take heart. Anything is possible in politics. And keep those torches burning, it ain’t over by a long shot. MAGA

Losers and Suckers

I have a lot of losers and suckers in my family. According to my president, my commander-in-chief, the leader of the free world and all around god -on -Earth, anyone who was in the military or dies in war is a loser or a sucker.

My uncle Casey, who I never knew, was a loser. Born to an immigrant mother, Casimir Wagner was the only son in the family. In WW2 he went into the US armed forces to fight the Nazis. Being small in stature and, I am surmising, fairly smart, he was assigned top turret and engineer on a Flying Fortress.

When he was in the war the bombers were regularly attacking the industrial and military sites inside Germany. It was a war of attrition. On average about 20-25% of the bombers would not make it home. Once you strapped yourself into the bomber, you had a 1 in 4 chance of not coming back. Do the math. Still, off they flew, all the suckers.

On his fourth or fifth mission they unloaded their bombs somewhere near Berlin and headed back to England. Attacked by German fighters the plane was severely damaged. The crew bailed out. All these suckers were captured and sent to a POW camp. Except for one. One loser.

The written reports I have read from his comrades tell us that after Casimir Wagner parachuted from the burning plane, he was shot by a fighter pilot and was probably dead before he hit the ground. What a loser.

My late father-in-law , on the other hand, was a sucker. He volunteered as a pilot in WW2 before the US entered the war. He was not good enough (according to him) to fly combat, but served behind the lines flying in supplies, etc. He volunteered. To fight Nazis. Well before Pearl Harbor. But, since he survived the war, I guess he was just a sucker , and not a loser.

Why did he do that? Why did this sucker go to a foreign nation and help in the fight against fascism? Was it any of his business? In his wallet he kept a handwritten line from a poem by John Donne.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…”

My niece is married to a sucker. He has served his entire life in the Marine corps. Working his way up through the ranks. Commanding military bases in Okinawa and Germany. Still alive , so he’s no loser, just a sucker.

And his son is a bigger sucker. His son wanted to be a Marine but the doctors said,”No”. A physical condition, not likely to change, meant he could never join the corps. Instead of looking for an alternative, he would not give up. Eventually, the Marines relented and decided his condition had changed enough so he could join. Some day , maybe, he could put his life on the line for Donald J Trump. Now there’s a real sucker.

I have had other relatives in the military and my wife has cousins, distant, that can trace back to the Revolutionary War. A long history of suckers. and losers, at least according to our commander-in-chief.

I have some relatives who voted for Donald Trump in 2016 and will vote for him again in 2020. I wonder what he calls them in the privacy of the White House?

Where’s the Horse?

Kamala Harris has been chosen by Joe Biden to be his running mate in this election. Watching MSNBC , the liberal Democratic news channel, people are euphoric. She is , after all, a good, solid, intelligent choice. The obvious choice.

According to the talking heads she will only add to Biden’s upcoming victory. And beyond that, she is now in place to be the first woman president of the United States. They all agree, when Biden’s 4 years are up, he will relinquish the crown to Kamala.

She will then be elevated into the highest elective office in the land.

That is the “cart” of the current euphoric liberal Democrats. It’s in the bag. The presidency of Kamala Harris is inevitable. She’s in the cart.

Problem. Where is the horse?

In 2016 the “brain trusts” of the Hillary Clinton campaign put the cart before the horse. I recall in the last weeks of the campaign they were focusing on Arizona, a deeply red state. They wanted a big victory. And the polls  (except for the LA Times) and pundits had only one question. How big was the victory going to be? By how much would she bury Donald Trump?

(One of the members of the Clinton brain trust was Donna Brazile. The same Donna Brazile who was the campaign manager for the failed Gore presidential bid. A man who lost his home state. Brilliant strategy. The same Brazile who worked on the Mondale campaign. He lost. The same Brazile who worked on the Gephardt campaign. He lost. the same Brazile who worked on the Dukakis campaign . A man who at one point held a 55-38% lead on George Bush. He lost. The same Brazile who worked on the Jackson campaign. He lost. Do you detect a pattern here? And after Hillary lost in 2016 Brazile changed jobs. The 5 time loser was hired as an expert. She became a commentator on the Fox News network).

Back to 2016. The Democratic brain trust did not send Clinton to Michigan. They did not get out the vote. Why not? It was in the cart. They did not have her campaign late in the election in Wisconsin. No problem. In the cart. Not in Pennsylvania. We got this. No worries.  In the cart. Relax, it’s in the cart.

The brain trusts of the Hillary campaign were so sure of victory that they rented a massive hall with a “glass ceiling”. This was going to be an historic victory. The glass ceiling was going to be busted through. Smashed. The polls (except for the LA Times) were clear. And, to be sure, the American people overwhelmingly voted for Hillary. They were in the cart.

And the cart sat there. Full of hubris. The cart sat there as the votes came in. Full of the brain trusts. The cart sat there. The glass ceiling stayed intact. The cart was going nowhere.

Only one problem. Where is the horse? Who was supposed to bring the horse? What happened to the horse? We need a horse! But the brain trust had left open the barn door.

Good old Mr Ed was making a speech in Wisconsin.  Whirlaway was away eating grass in a field in Ohio. Seabiscuit was out to lunch in Michigan. Secretariat was on vacation in Moscow. Hubris doesn’t pull a cart.

So, before we anoint Kamala Harris as the 47th president of the United States, perhaps we need to put first things first. Instead of a coronation we should harness up the workhorses and make sure the votes are counted in 2020. First things first. One step at a time.

Be excited. Yes. Be confident. Yes. Be hopeful, Yes. But leave the hubris behind. Don’t ask the advice of Donna Brazile. Don’t put the cart before the horse.

Acceptance Speech Dilemma

Mr Trump, who has not allowed any opposition within the GOP to his nomination, has to decide where to make his acceptance speech. According to news sources has has narrowed down his choices to the White House and Gettysburg. Two of the most important sites in US history.

However, I have learned though White House sources that these are not the only two places under consideration. The White House brain trust of Donald Junior, Ivanka, Jeb the night janitor and Bobo the One Eyed chimp are looking at other options and their pros and cons. They have formed a committee to investigate the possible itinerary for the speech, the Committee to Investigate Territory Now, (Comintern). I was able to speak with the most articulate member of the Committee, Bobo just last night.

Me: Hi Bobo. So, have a banana. What can you tell me about the possible speech sites?

Bobo: Hoot..hoot…hoot. (Through our interpreter, Jane) We have good sites. Many good sites.

Me: For example, what is on your list?

(Note : For simplification the rest of Bobo’s account will eliminate his actual words or hoots. They are the words of the Interpreter. Also, for clarification, Bobo did consume 3 bunches of bananas during the process)

Bobo: First thought was Mount Rushmore. Maybe taking a jack hammer to Lincoln to make room for a carving of the best president ever. Imagine. Donald Trump making the speech below a massive carving of Donald Trump. It boggles.

Me: So, what else?

Bobo: Then we thought, well, this was Ivanka’s idea, maybe fly to China. Have a great photo op in one of Ivanka’s purse factories. Donald could be surrounded by smiling faces of happy kids . Happy because they have a 30 minute break (unpaid, of course). But Xi would not agree. So that got nixed.

Me: So, other options?

Bobo: We tossed around the idea of Florida. Anywhere in Florida. At any hospital. Donald would go into a Covid-19 ICU and spray the patients with Clorox bleach. Show some real leadership fighting the pandemic. But no hospital would give us permission. Something about the Hippocratic Oath. Guess there are a lot of hypocrites in Florida.

Me: So, that one went down the tubes. Any other possibilities?

Bobo: Donald Junior suggested a golf course. One of Trump’s own golf courses. What symbolizes a connection with the white working class better than a country club? Donald would drive out in a gold plated golf cart onto the first tee. He would be followed by Pence in a silver plated golf cart. Pence would lie down on the tee box, balance a golf ball on his nose and Donald would smack it into the fairway. Then, they would ride down to the green of the first hole, Pence always 5 lengths behind Donald. Donald would drive his cart right up to the hole, lean down and take out a golden golf ball with MAGA emblazoned on it. Then give the best speech ever. We had a minor problem when we practiced this one. Pence is still recovering at Walter Reed hospital. Thank god for Obamacare.

Me: Well, Bobo, I hate to say it, but you guys really haven’t come up with much.

Bobo: Think not? You haven’t heard our back up emergency plan.

Me: Emergency plan?

Bobo: Yep, if Donald keeps dropping in the polls. And if the Manhattan district attorney gets a hold of Trump’s tax returns. We will fly the entire family along with Roger Stone and Bill Barr to the Kremlin. Kindly ask permission for an audience with Donald’s boss. Then the Donald will drop to his knees and deliver his farewell address at the feet of Vlad. It’s the last resort, of course. But certainly an option.

Me: Well, if that happens there will be a lot of angry Americans. And even more happy ones.

Bobo: No kidding. One thing for sure. Once we land in Moscow, they will never see Air Force One again. Pass that banana over here, would ya?

 

Finally, An Honest Man

A friend of mine, Diogenese Lamplighter, was walking around with a big smile on his face. Which is quite unusual for him. So, being curious and always willing to throw a blanket over happiness , I had to intervene.

Me: Dio, old boy. What have you got to smile about?

Dio: Well, cranky one, I have finally reached my goal. I have found an honest man. Just one. But he is an honest man.

Me: Needless to say, Dio, I am a bit skeptical. A truly honest man?  Are you sure or have you been hitting ouzo again?

Dio: A man who tells it like it is. No bullshit. He says what he means and means what he says. Total honesty.

Me: Wow. Where did you find this guy? In a monastery or church…wait.. of course not. Hmm. In a cave somewhere far away from civilization? Where, oh, wise one, where?

Dio: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

Me: OK. Let me google map that…hmmm… hey… wait a minute, Dio, that’s the White House! You mean there is someone in the White House who is an honest man? That would be a first.

Dio: Oh yes. A completely honest man. A man who hides nothing.

Me: (kind of excited now, which doesn’t happen much) Who? Who? Jared? No way. Maybe Steve Miller? Nah, can’t be. I know, I know..it’s got to be Barron? Right?

Dio: No, my foolish, disillusioned friend, it is none other than Donald J Trump, President of the United States.

Me: Sheesh. Now I KNOW you have been not only hitting the ouzo but also soaked the grape leaves in too much white wine. Trump? Honest? Give me a break.

Dio: I will do better. I will give you my analysis. After all these years of searching for an honest man, it has only been Donald J Trump, President of the United States, who has dared to speak the truth.

Me: But… but… he is a racist, a xenophobe, a climate change denier… even some Republicans don’t like him.

Dio: Oh, but you are missing the point. For the last 40 years the Republican party has done everything it legally can to support big business. At the expense of workers. And at the expense of the small business owner. They have pretended to care about workers but oppose the minimum wage. They say they want health care but have opposed health care reforms for years. They are in court right now, trying to destroy the ACA.  As Mr Reagan said, in the eyes of the GOP the “government is the problem”. Because “government” is the only thing preventing corporations from driving out small business and keeping wages low.

Me: Well, I don’t know. Seems to me that the GOP over the last 40 years have just been advocating for following the Constitution.

Dio: Did the Constitution say corporations are “persons”? Or that voting should be suppressed?  Or that black folks should not have equal protection under the law? Or that the post office should be destroyed? Or prisons privatized?

Me: So, what is your point?

Dio: My point is that the Republican party has been a party of racism (remember the Willie Horton ad), bigotry, sexism and anti-working man and anti-small business for at least 40  years. But they pretend to be otherwise. I mean, how can you win an election if  you tell people that you’re main motivation is to screw them?  How can you win an election if you tell folks ahead of time that you are giving millionaires massive tax breaks because it is good for people making $7.25 an hour (the minimum wage)? How can you win an election by telling working people that they would be better off without government protection of their water? But Trump. He is honest.

Me: So , you are saying that Trump just says what the GOP has been afraid to say?  But that they really do support him and his racism and misogyny and general disdain for science and  working people?

Dio: DUH. Mr Trump just says out loud what the GOP has been saying, with their policies, for the last 40 years. Now, I admit, he is a bit more vulgar than many in the GOP would like, but he has given them the government they want.  Corrupt. Racist. Incompetent. Authoritarian.

Dio: I can snuff out the flame on my lamp. Finally, an honest man.

The Memory Genius.

I watched our commander-in-chief explain that he took a very tough mental exam last week . He passed with flying colors. He was proud. Unlike the SAT he did not pay anyone else to take this test, he took it himself.

Part of the test, besides knowing some animal shapes, was remembering words. Five words. And the Donald ACED it. He remembered 5 words. Even 5 minutes after first reading them. The doctors, according to Trump, “were very surprised”. VERY surprised.

Now, a couple years ago I took a short memory test with my doctor just to see how I was doing mentally speaking. (OK, keep quiet Dan and Jack). I did ok. I was able to remember things. My doctor was NOT surprised. So, I ask myself, why would Trump’s doctors (plural) be SURPRISED? Surprised that the president of the United States could remember 5 words.

Hmmmm. Using my many contacts in government I was able to find one of the doctors involved in the testing. Let’s call him Doctor J.

Me: Hello Dr. J. I want to ask you why you were SURPRISED that the president of the US was able to remember 5 words?

Dr. J: Not only remember 5 words, but also know the names of 3 animals. Let’s not forget that.

Me: But, wasn’t that expected?

Dr. J; Heavens no. We fully expected Mr Trump not to be able to recall anything. But for some reason his memory seems to be IMPROVING with age, instead of deteriorating. His big brain is actually remembering things better than from just 2 years ago.

Me: Well, that IS surprising. Myself, I have trouble remembering some things. And, if I recall correctly, I could remember events and other things better when I was younger. Or am I misremembering what I could remember because my memory is failing me? God, I am so confused.

Dr J: No. You are correct. Memory deteriorates in all human beings as they get older. Except ONE. Mr Trump.

Me: Well, sorry doc, but I don’t believe you. What proof do you have?

Dr J: I just use the Mueller Report. It is a good indication of the president’s memory. He was asked to submit in writing the answers to questions about specific meetings he had. About specific things he learned and when he learned them. Meetings from only about a year before. Events which he should have been able to easily recall.

Me: And?

Dr J: Well, he was unable to answer just about every memory question. For example, Mueller asked when Donald learned of the Trump Tower meeting with his campaign staff and the Russians. His answer:…”I have no recollection” and…”I do not recall”…

Me: Well, maybe that meeting slipped his mind. It happens.

Dr J: OK, except this. Here are his responses to other questions: “I have no recollection”… “I do not remember whether or not I spoke with Donald Trump, Jr.”….. ” I do not recall being aware”….  ” I have no recollection of being told….”…..   “I have no recollection of any particular conversation, when it occurred, or who the participants were….” ….”I do not recall being told…”  …”I do not recall discussing WikiLeaks with him (Roger Stone)”….. ” I do not recall any discussion of travel to Russia…”  ….”I do not remember Mr Manafort communicating to me…”…And it goes on and on.

Finally, there was a series of 12 questions about Mr Trump and Mr Flynn, Ambassador Kislyak, Eric Prince, Jared Kushner and others. For those 12 questions Mr Trump did not even give a response. So bad had his memory failed him!

Since Mr Trump was UNDER OATH and required to answer all questions to the best of his ability, you can see why we (the doctors) were SURPRISED at his cognitive awareness. Just 2 years earlier he could not remember a thing and all of a sudden he could name animals AND remember words. All the words.

We can only hope that when the man with the biggest brain finally lies in state that his family will donate the organ to science for further study. His ability to recover from such extensive memory loss is almost , dare I say, a MIRACLE.

Brain scientists would love to see what’s inside that amazing skull.

Me: Well, Dr J, I think I can say I speak for the majority of Americans when I say: Let’s hope that day comes soon.

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/07/23/trump-mental-fitness-cognitive-test-379622

https://apnews.com/98f22511be924ced895ce5c0bfedfe37

 

 

Trump Free Tuesdays

Do you have what the white nationalists call Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)? The ever present depression caused by having the mentally ill guy in the White House? Do you suffer daily anxiety wondering if your fellow citizens are really stupid or racist enough to vote the conman back into office?

I feel your pain. But we all need a break. My solution?

A national movement to make Tuesdays free of anything Trump.

Trump Free Tuesdays.

While Fox news drones a constant approval of the idiot other networks, like CNN and MSNBC beat a drum of disapproval. Either way Trump wins. It’s Trump. Trump. Trump. 24/7.

No matter if you think he is god’s own gift to America or a two bit conman drowning in self-pity. Matters not. He makes for “good press”. So, he wins. The old marketer’s saying: There is no such thing as bad publicity.

This constant barrage of tweets, photo ops, tough guy talk and all around bullshit will have an effect on your psyche. Time to take break.

God created the heaven, Earth, day and night, all the animals and the entire universe in 6 days. On the 7th day she realized she had unintentionally created Donald Trump. (Something to do with a slip up when creating a snake and a slug) So, even god took a break. She rested. She cried. Then rested.

So, let’s turn off Donald Trump on Tuesdays. If the news comes on and mentions his name. Mute it. Or don’t turn on the news at all. If you are on twitter, don’t tweet. If your friends post an article about him on Fakebook. Ignore it. If you see a “Trump 2020” flag flying your area (Yep, I see them) keep your eyes on the road.

Give yourself and your psyche a break. Take Tuesday off. And remember, Trump is one of god’s creations. Forgive her. We all make mistakes. When you are god you make whoppers!

Of course, nothing hurts the mentally ill guy more than being ignored. He demands to be noticed. He wants to be in your head. So, let’s take back Tuesdays and make that day Trump free. A day we can enjoy. A day to imagine what it was like BC (before conman). A day to see only the brighter side of life.

Forget About It

When I taught high school, like almost all high school teachers, I needed to supplement my income. Like many teachers I volunteered to coach a variety of sports. I say “volunteered” because often the hourly wage was pretty minimal. But, still, it helped pay the bills.

One of the key ideas I tried to impart to the kids was that we all make mistakes. You will hit the rim and miss the shot. You will take a third strike instead of swinging the bat. You will commit a foul in the penalty area. You will simply do the wrong thing. Sometimes physically. Sometimes mentally.

Micheal Jordan, perhaps the best basketball player ever to walk onto a court, missed about 50% of his shots. He seemed to make the shot at the crucial time, but he missed plenty as well. He failed half the time.

I saw the major icon of soccer, the great Pele, in person in Rochester, New York in the 1970s. He was playing for the New York Cosmos. Pele had his shot stopped by the Rochester Lancers keeper on the modified penalty kick. He walked up to the keeper and shook his hand.

Bottom line. Everyone fails sometimes. The point is not the failure, but what happens next.

I tried to impress on my teams that they needed to forget, immediately forget, any mistake they had made. Forget about it. Then go on and do what you are supposed to do. Get back on track. We can analyze later. In the middle of the game is no time to feel bad or become dislodged from the task at hand.

Maria Jones (not her real name) was my best goal scorer. On Tuesday she missed a penalty kick that would have tied the match. We lost. As fate would have it, on Friday, the next match, we were again awarded a penalty kick. The team looked over to the bench. Who should take the kick? I yelled out that Maria should. She put it in the back of the net and we won the game (I think we won 2 that year). I knew her mental state. I knew that she was able to forget about it and get the job done.

Which brings us to May 25, month number 5 of the Covid-19 pandemic. A lot of people have screwed up. Made mistakes. Done the wrong thing. Governor Cuomo waited too long to institute stay at home orders. Lives were lost. Mayor DeBlasio of New York city was even slower to respond. The Trump administration was unprepared and waited way too long to close borders. And coordinate a national response.

We could go on and on and second guess what SHOULD have happened. A recent study shows that over 30,000 lives could have been saved if the USA had just acted one week earlier to shut down non-essential services. Mistakes were made. Mistakes are always made.

As Judge Judy says: Coulda, shoulda, woulda.

It matters not. What does matter is the now. What are we doing now? It’s never too late to act. The game is hardly over.

We need a national response. We need states to coordinate. We have Texas and Florida and Georgia and California all going their own way. The team, which should be working together, is breaking apart. Where is the coach?We need national, enforceable guidelines for essential and non-essential services. We need help for the 40,000,000 plus unemployed. We need testing. The lack of focus is causing us to make the same mistakes again. And again.

We need to move on. Ignore what happened in January of March or early May. Where are we now? Where do we need to go. What comes next? What’s the plan?

Mr. Trump, you missed the penalty kick. But the game is not over. Place the ball carefully on the penalty spot. Take a deep breath. You missed it last time. Forget about it. Step up and blast it into the back of the net.

It’s Not the Economy, Stupid

When Bill Clinton was running for president against George Bush 1 the economy was not in great shape. Now Clinton and Bush had divergent ideas about the role of government, voting rights, social issues, etc. But Clinton’s key adviser told him to minimize those issues.

He had one phrase that he reminded Clinton of every day.

“It’s the Economy, Stupid”.

Talk about the economy. The failure of the Reagan-Bush supply side economics. Emphasize the economy. The economy. The economy.

It was good advice. Clinton won and by the end of his second term the US was actually paying DOWN the national debt. That ended, of course, when the Supreme Court told Florida to stop counting votes and installed Bush 2 as POTUS. He went right back to supply side and, well, you know the rest.

Now, we are engaged in a real crisis, not just an economic downturn. In fact, The MIPOTUS (Mentally Ill President of the United States) inherited the best economy since the end of World War 2. The crisis we face is a pandemic, not an economic crash.

Our current person in charge (I cannot force myself to call him a “leader”) has spent the last 3 months concerned about one thing and one thing only. The economy. No, I take that back. He has been concerned with the Stock Market. Period. Which is part of the economy, but hardly the entire economy. He has identified himself as the man behind the Obama boom he inherited. As the man who created a great economy from nothing. A legend in his own mind.

To such an extent that he and his sycophants have all but ignored the pandemic. We can easily go back to his various statements about how it was a hoax or a plot or was being overblown by the “fake news”. As long as the stock market looked good, he was unconcerned.

February . We have it under control. It will disappear. It will be like a miracle.

Now, due to the inaction and hubris of those in charge, we see the economy on the verge of a major shutdown. It is temporary, of course, because it is caused by a medical emergency, not an economic one.

But still, every chance he gets, the man in the bubble talks about how we had the greatest economy on Earth, until this pandemic hit.  There will be plenty of time to dissect all the incompetency and corruption that has led us to this point. And there is plenty.

But what needs to be done now (actually 2 months ago) is an honest, open explanation of what the government is actually doing to help the states and cities fight this war. Instead of vague comments about how he is doing a great job, perhaps listing specific, reliable actions he is taking at the national level would help ease some of the fear. Of course, the problem is that the federal government is doing very little. The anti-big government mentality still holds sway. Let the states worry about it, not our problem.

To Mr. Trump and his cadre of ass kissers: It’s not the economy, stupid.

It’s a pandemic. It’s a national emergency. If you cannot handle it perhaps now is the time to announce you will not seek re-election. Then, perhaps, you can sit quietly in Mar-a-Lago and let the experts take over. The “best of your ability” is not good enough. It’s killing people.

 

 

The Retrial of Benjamin Forsythe

Benjamin Forsythe wants a new trial.

In 2017 he was accused, and later convicted, of shoplifting. The prosecution claims he had hidden some dog toys … yes, DOG TOYS … in his girlfriend’s purse. Then they left the store without paying.

Well, they did have SOME evidence against him, to be sure. They never actually found the toys in his girlfriend’s purse. BUT. They had a video of him going to the car and bringing his girlfriend’s purse into the store. They had some empty dog toy shelves. Stuff like that.

To be clear, they didn’t catch him in the act. It was only a day later when some store employers noticed some empty packaging in the dog toy department that they investigated. Sure enough, the Sherlock-type sleuths discovered that his girlfriend had absconded with $ 186 worth of dog toys!

Some of you who do not own pets may wonder how anyone could stuff $186 worth of dog toys into a purse unnoticed. I mean, that sounds like a lot of Fido fun. Loads of doggy diversions. Now, those of you WITH pets might have a different view. I mean, where can you get a purse load of dog toys for ONLY $186? Must have been in the discount bin. Give me the address of that store. But I digress.

So, despite his pleas of innocence (his girlfriend took complete responsibility, the sweet thing) he was convicted and sentenced. To 2 to 23 months in jail. For pilfering dog toys. Well, I said he was convicted of shoplifting, but not exactly. Since he, himself, never stole any dog toys he was actually convicted of  “conspiracy to commit retail theft”. YIKES. That’s sounds a lot worse than shoplifting. A conspiracy.

So poor Benjamin was convicted. But that was then. This is now.

After watching hours and hours of the impeachment trial of Donald Trump from his prison cell, Benjamin had second thoughts. The first thought was this. Being  forced to watch hours and hours of the impeachment trial may be grounds for release on a  “cruel and unusual punishment” claim.

Second, he wanted a new trial with Lamar Alexander as foreman of the jury.

You see, Lamar Alexander has stated, in writing,  publicly that  “yes”, the House managers did present a convincing case. In fact, according to Lamar, he is convinced that president Trump DID solicit (extort)  the Ukrainian government to try to force them to present an announcement of an investigation into the Bidens. He had seen enough, but it was not enough to convict.

So Senator Alexander does not need any more proof. Trump is a criminal. The facts are clear. Undisputed.  But, since Trump is a criminal Lamar has decided NOT to vote to remove him from office. Or to seek any more evidence which might even further prove the case already proven by the House managers. Because, after all, if we convicted criminals what would be next? Slippery slope.

Lamar’s statement: “…There is no need for more evidence to prove that the president asked Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden and his son, Hunter; he said this on television on October 3, 2019, and during his July 25, 2019, telephone call with the president of Ukraine. There is no need for more evidence to conclude that the president withheld United States aid, at least in part, to pressure Ukraine to investigate the Bidens; the House managers have proved this with what they call a ‘mountain of overwhelming evidence.’ There is no need to consider further the frivolous second article of impeachment that would remove the president for asserting his constitutional prerogative to protect confidential conversations with his close advisers. 

“It was inappropriate for the president to ask a foreign leader to investigate his political opponent and to withhold United States aid to encourage that investigation. When elected officials inappropriately interfere with such investigations, it undermines the principle of equal justice under the law. But the Constitution does not give the Senate the power to remove the president from office and ban him from this year’s ballot simply for actions that are inappropriate….”

When Benjamin saw this he leaped for joy. That is exactly the point he was trying to make. Just because he was found to have committed a crime does not mean he should be found GUILTY of committing a crime. Just because he was involved in a conspiracy, and that was proven by the prosecution, does not justify a GUILTY verdict. It was not really a crime, it was just “inappropriate” for him to conspire to shoplift. And, if we are to uphold what Senator Alexander calls “the principle of equal justice under the law” shouldn’t Benjamin go free?

Benjamin wants Senator Alexander on his jury. And Dershowitz as his lawyer. Mr Forsythe is hoping to call Donald Trump, Jr as his character witness. If he can afford the fee.

There is a new sheriff in town. His name is Lamar. His concept of the law:   Some crimes are just not punishable. It all depends on who commits them.

https://www.pennlive.com/news/2019/03/shoplifter-jailed-for-stealing-dog-toys-denied-break-by-pa-court.html

READ Lamar Alexander’s Statement: Trump Did It, He Said He Did It on TV, but Removing Him Would Be ‘Frivolous’

The “Obvious” Defense

The impeachment trial of Donald Trump started last week. The House managers presented a very thorough case. Now it is the time for the defenders of the president to speak. Fair enough.

So, what should they say? Well, let’s look at what the House has presented  and see how they can respond.

The House case focuses first on the withholding of aid to Ukraine and the withholding of a meeting in the Oval Office with the president of the Ukraine. Both are important to the Ukraine for what should be obvious reasons. Ukraine is partially occupied and is at war with Putin’s Russia. Not to belabor the point but again. Ukraine is partially occupied and at war with Putin’s Russia.

So, the Ukraine desperately needs military help. Which the Congress and the president have given them.They also just as desperately need Putin to understand that the US stands with Ukraine against his illegal occupation and aggression. So, both the military and political aid are essential.

It is a fact that the Department of Defense was ready to start to distribute the military aid to  Ukraine on June 18, 2019. From the DOD website:

“The Department of Defense announced today plans to provide $250 million to Ukraine in security cooperation funds for additional training, equipment, and advisory efforts to build the capacity of Ukraine’s armed forces.” ……https://www.defense.gov/Newsroom/Releases/Release/Article/1879340/dod-announces-250m-to-ukraine/

The DOD does not release any military aid unless a thorough review has been done to make sure the country is meeting the requirements for fighting corruption, insuring human rights, etc.

So, for the president’s Defense Team. The first point they need to address is why the military aid was withheld. What information came to light between June 18 and the hold on the aid? There may be legitimate reasons for withholding aid, if so, what were they? And why was the very process for withholding aid taken out of the usual channels and handed over to a political appointee, rather than a career official?

Along the same lines, the defense may argue that the president can unilaterally withhold aid for any reason. In fact, the aid was held up 9 different times, with no explanation. However, the Government Accounting Office relayed a decision that what Trump did was break the  law. A law that requires him to notify Congress with reasons for any hold up in aid:

“In the summer of 2019, the Office of Management and Budget (OMB) withheld from
obligation funds appropriated to the Department of Defense (DOD) for security
assistance to Ukraine. In order to withhold the funds, OMB issued a series of nine
apportionment schedules with footnotes that made all unobligated balances
unavailable for obligation.
Faithful execution of the law does not permit the President to substitute his own
policy priorities for those that Congress has enacted into law. OMB withheld funds
for a policy reason, which is not permitted under the Impoundment Control Act (ICA).
The withholding was not a programmatic delay. Therefore, we conclude that OMB
violated the ICA….”

Click to access 703909.pdf

So, the president or his staff broke the law. Period. His defense team needs to explain that and justify the hold on military aid. Why did the president think it was essential to break the law? Perhaps he had good reason.Legal reasons. What were they? And why was Congress never notified?

Furthermore, since aid was eventually released they need to answer another question. What happened to make the president change his mind and lift the hold? What new evidence emerged? Did he discover it was illegal or was there a change in Ukraine? What specific reason was there for all of a sudden releasing most of the aid?

The second charge on impeachment brought by the House managers was the obstruction of Congress. Now, it is pretty obvious that Congress was obstructed since the president refused to provide and documents or witnesses to help in the investigation. The question is, was that obstruction legal?

On Saturday the president’s team argued that the entire impeachment proceeding was illegal. So, since the proceeding was illegal they had no requirement to cooperate. Of course, this argument does have a major hole.

The position presupposes that the executive branch alone can decide for the House of Representatives what it can and cannot investigate. In other words, although the Constitution gives the sole power of impeachment to the House, the executive branch can overrule that power. The position falls flat on two levels. First, it disregards the specific language of the Constitution.

Article 1, Section 2: The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Of course it makes no sense legally or logically for the object of an impeachment or investigation to have the power to end an impeachment or investigation.

Along the same lines the president’s defense claimed that the House violated their own rules, so therefore the very impeachment itself is illegal. Yet, here we are. The Senate, controlled by Mitch McConnell, recognized the legality of impeachment. The Supreme Court, along with Chief Justice Roberts, recognizes the legality of the impeachment. We are having a trial precisely because the House acted legally. So, once again we have the president, alone, making claims that no other branch of government agrees with.

Now, it is legal for the president to, in certain circumstances, invoke “executive privilege”. However, invoking that privilege means the president has to make a case, before a court, that the documents or testimony being withheld is being done for legitimate national security concerns. So far, Mr Trump has made no such claim.

His lawyers, however, have taken the position that he can claim executive privilege without making a formal claim of executive privilege. In their words, he can hide anything he wants for any reason he wants. In other words, the chief executive is supreme and cannot be investigated or impeached.  Trump has taken this position publicly:

“…Trump was giving a speech at a Turning Point USA conference, where he predictably veered off into a tirade about special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation and how, as president, Trump could’ve stopped it.

“I have an Article 2 where I have the right to do whatever I want as president,” Trump said. “But I don’t even talk about that because they did a report and there was no obstruction.”…” 

AND…

“…During a pre-taped one-on-one interview with ABC News reporter George Stephanopoulos, Trump argued that “a lot of great lawyers” agree that Article 2 of the Constitution means that the President can’t obstruct justice.

“So a president can’t obstruct justice?” Stephanopoulos asked.

“A president can run the country,” Trump responded. “And that’s what happened, George. I run the country and I run it well.”

“When the President does it, it’s not illegal?” Stephanopoulos asked….”

“I’m just saying a president under Article 2–it’s very strong, read it,” Trump said. “Do you have Article 2? Read it.”

(To be clear, executive privilege is not mentioned in the Constitution)

Trump Claims Article 2 Gives Him ‘The Right To Do Whatever I Want As President’

Trump When Asked If POTUS Can Obstruct Justice: POTUS Can ‘Run The Country’

So, the president’s defense team will have to find a justification that he has refused to cooperate with Congress. While they may rightly point to very specific instances where other president’s have attempted (successfully or unsuccessfully) to invoke “executive privilege”, they will have to justify an unbridled power of the president to hide all his actions and documents.

Now, will the defense team address these issues raised by the House managers? Will they respond to the facts and evidence in the charges? Will they talk about how the Democrats have hated Trump from day one? Will they talk about Adam Schiff?  Will they talk about the Mueller Report being a hoax? Will they claim the entire procedure is a  “witch hunt”? Or will they talk about how corrupt the Biden’s are? Benghazi Redux?

In other words, will they address the points the Hose manager have  made, or will they deflect ? Isn’t the answer obvious?

The Absence of Evidence

Chris Wallace, of Fox News, interviewed Senator Kennedy of Louisiana during his Sunday morning talk show. Wallace was very specific. He pointed out that the entire Intelligence apparatus of the US government concluded that Russia interfered in the 2016 election. And Ukraine did  not.

He pointed out that any Ukrainian interference claims had been debunked. He was clear.

Kennedy responded that he did not know. He said it COULD have been Ukrainians, but no one knows. Could have been.

When Wallace pointed out that there was NO EVIDENCE to support that claim, Kennedy responded (trying to be clever, I think), the the “absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence”. Just because there is no evidence a crime has been committed does  not mean a crime has NOT been committed. Just because there is no evidence that Ukraine interfered in the 2016 election does not mean Ukraine did NOT interfere in the 2016 election.

Now, it is hard. No, It take that back. It is IMPOSSIBLE to argue with that line of reasoning. What isn’t there isn’t there but that doesn’t mean it might not  be there.

Senator Kennedy got me thinking. Always a dangerous situation. So, let’s take a look back at other moments in history and revisit them.

The Holocaust. No one, well, there are a few, claims the Holocaust did not occur. But did it? Some people say it didn’t. And even  if it did occur, who was behind it? There is evidence that the Nazis and other Germans were responsible. But could it have been someone else?

In the 1930s there was a tribe in Kenya called the “Kikuyu”. Never did the Kikuyu issue a statement of support for Jews. NEVER. We know that in later years the Kikuyu rose up and fought the British who had colonized Kenya. It was called the “Mau Mau” uprising. Is it possible that the Kikuyu were anti-Semitic? There is no evidence contradicting that idea. So, it is POSSIBLE that the Kikuyu, not the Nazis, were actually responsible for the death camps. They hated whites. Jews are white. The Kikuyu were violent. The camps were violent. The “absence of evidence ” should not stop us from pointing out the obvious: The Kikuyu COULD have run the death camps.

The US Civil War. From 1861-1865 the US was engaged in a great civil war. No one denies that fact. But who was really responsible and why was it fought? There are a few ideas and some that have supporting evidence. Was it to protect the institution of slavery? Evidence for that. Was it to break up the union? Evidence of that. Was it to maintain states rights? Evidence of that.

However, is there something else at play? Perhaps. Keep in mind, I have NO EVIDENCE that the following happened. Nevertheless. Follow me.

Baseball was just becoming popular in the 1860s. A few teams were starting up, playing teams from other towns. But how could baseball grow into a national past time? The baseball team owners needed a war. This would divide the nation and make people more loyal to their own towns, hence their own teams. (Even today, some misguided fools support the Detroit Tigers!)

So, the team owners got together and hired some southerners to attack Fort Sumter.  They hired Jeff Davis, Robert E Lee, Jeb Stuart and others to go to war with the north. It is POSSIBLE that even A. Lincoln was in on the plot. I have NO EVIDENCE but it is said by some that he owned the rights to the Chicago White Sox. WHITE !!! Racism!!!

So, was Abe Lincoln the person who started the Civil War for his own personal profit? I have NO EVIDENCE of this. But Like Senator Kennedy said: Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

The DNC Ukraine Connection in 2016. Now we get to the juicy one. What was the connection between the Ukrainian government and the DNC server hack. The US intelligence services have investigated and found NO EVIDENCE. So what?

According to GOP sources, here is what happened. The DNC paid Cloudstrike to hack the DNC computers. So , they paid to have themselves hacked. Now , a reasonable person may ask why they would do that? Easy.

The DNC had their own computers hacked and damaging emails released by Wikileaks because they wanted to undermine the Trump campaign. The DNC wanted Trump to be elected so they could then IMPEACH him ! A clever ploy.

To hide their plot the DNC shipped their server to the Ukraine. And kept it hidden. You may ask why they just didn’t dump it into the Atlantic Ocean. Silly people. If they dumped it there would be NO EVIDENCE that they hacked themselves. By hacking themselves and blaming it on Putin they could then undermine the Trump administration. Simple.  Of course, there is no evidence of this, but recall.

The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. Which leads me to my final example. Or fact. Or whatever.

Is Senator Kennedy a child molester? I want to be very clear about this. I am not accusing Senator Kennedy of being a child molester. There is NO EVIDENCE that he is a child molester. No one, to my knowledge has ever accused him of being a child molester.

Kennedy is a male. An old white male. We know that some old white males are child molesters. That is indisputable. Also, Kennedy would undoubtedly DENY he is a child molester. But isn’t that EXACTLY what a child molester would do? Do I have EVIDENCE? No, but then has the FBI ever investigated him for child molestation? I don’t know. Perhaps the entire Fox interview given by Kennedy was designed to throw the FBI off the trail. To hide his crimes. Who knows? Could be.

Remember that Kennedy himself has said: “Absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence“. Right?

 

Worth a Thousand Words

An old saying, a picture is worth a thousand words.  And so it goes. We FINALLY get down to the truth about why Mr Trump called back his ambassador to the Ukraine.

If you recall, Ambassador Yovanovitch was a long time diplomat. She had been appointed by GW Bush to various posts, some rather dangerous. She had been appointed by Obama to the Ukraine post, an area of her singular expertise. She was appointed by Trump and scheduled to remain until the middle of 2020 at the request of Secretary of State Pompeo.

Then, abruptly, she was called home by Trump. No reason. No explanation. No admonishment for misbehavior. Just called home. The one person in the Ukraine who knew more about the corrupt players and how to help the new president deal with them. Called home.

The reason for her  recall has been a well guarded secret. What did the president know about her? What devious behavior had she been involved in? How was she undermining US anti-corruption efforts? Always a gentleman, Mr Trump refuse to tell us what she had done wrong.

Until now.

In an interview on Fox and Friends, Mr trump finally explained why he fired her and brought her back to Washington. He had heard that Ambassador Yovanovitch had REFUSED to put up a portrait of Mr Trump in the Ukraine Embassy!!! According to Mr Trump she refused to put his photo on her wall!! Next to her Hulk Hogan poster.

(Fox and Friends interview: A trove of psychological data. If you have time, read it:  https://www.rev.com/blog/donald-trump-fox-and-friends-interview-transcript-trump-interviewed-after-impeachment-hearings )

Now, the fact is that the Ukraine Embassy DID put up Mr Trump’s official portrait as soon as they received it. Problem was that the White House, not one for details, neglected to have an official portrait taken and sent out until almost a full year after his election. Details.

Now to some it may seem like a far fetched reason to fire an ambassador. Kind of petty? Firing an ambassador to a major ally because of a rumor about a photo? Well, Rudy said that Lev told him that Igor heard from Vlad that Marie never even put your picture on the wall!! And she never lit a candle in front of it! That’s what people say. What people say. What people say.

Was that the REAL reason for a massive change in leadership in a country being invaded by Putin? An ally we need badly? A place where US presence and stability is essential?

I say: Yes. If nothing else, Mr Trump has shown the ability to redefine pettiness and childishness to a new level. And just the rumor of anyone not kowtowing to his fantasies and ego would certainly be enough cause for firing.

And in the case of a woman… who can doubt it?

Investigating the Investigation

Look. Another SHINY thing to look at. Don’t look here, look there.

I recently had the opportunity to talk with my good buddy Bill Barr, the president’s lawyer. Er. I mean. The Attorney General of the US. The head of the Department of Justice.

I was curious about the new investigation into the old investigation into the Russian influence in the 2106 election to help Trump get elected.

Me: Hello , Billy boy. How’s it hanging.

Billy Barr: Hanging good. Lookin’ like we are on our way to put some folks in jail. Finally. Lock Her Up!

Me: So, what exactly are you investigating?

Billy: We are going after the fake Russian influence stories. Fake news. We intend to show that the Russians did not influence the election and that those who said so were criminals.

Me: Does that include the 2 year long Mueller probe and report?

Billy: As I said at the time, the Mueller Report completely exonerated the president. It showed there was no Russian collusion. No collusion. No collusion.

Me: So, if the Mueller Report exonerated Mr Trump, why are you investigating Russia again?

Belly: Let me be clear. No collusion. The Mueller Report was very clear . No collusion. So, for that reason we must investigate to find out why some people said there was collusion. Simple. No collusion.

Me: Ok. So, now you are investigating why the Mueller Report found no collusion. I thought the Mueller Report found at least 13 Russian agents involved in using the internet to influence the election in favor of Trump.

Billy: No. No No. You have it all wrong. Mueller found no evidence of any wrongdoing. And anyway, it would have been the DNC and the Ukraine, probably Biden and Obama, who were behind the anti-Hillary dirty tricks. Obvious.

Me: So, if you say Mueller found there  was no collusion or wrongdoing (not true, by the way), what are you investigating? If nothing wrong happened, what are you looking at?

Billy: CRIMES. Always looking at crimes. Possible crimes. We are investigating crimes.

Me: Well, specifically, what are the crimes you are investigating. I mean, when you investigate something you must have some idea or evidence that a crime was committed. So, what is the crime?

Billy: Wrong again. We have some information that a crime may have been committed. Who committed the crime? We will see. What was the crime? We don’t know yet. We need to find out if anyone committed a crime and then prosecute it. We have an idea that a crime was committed.

Me: So, you have a whistle blower who has accused someone of a possible crime?

Billy: Exactly. We have a whistle blower. Maybe . Maybe not. Who knows?

Me: Who is the whistle blower? What has he or she charged?

Billy: Oh no you don’t. We do not let anyone know who the whistle blower is. Top secret. Just like the fake Dems in the fake impeachment hearings. They won’t tell us the name of the whistle blower.

Me: OK. But the whistle blower you are talking about presented a written statement of exactly what he thought had happened based on his contacts. So, can we see the charges , in writing , of your whistle blower?

Billy: No. Top secret. Not only will we not divulge the name of the whistleblower, and I am not saying we have one. Maybe we do, maybe we don’t. We will also keep secret any criminal charges. After all, if you charge someone with a crime then they can deny it.

Me: So, you are investigating a crime but you don’t know what the crime was or who committed the crime? And anyone accused of the crime does not have the right to know what they are being accused of?

Billy: Exactly. Now you have finally figured it out. We will find the crime and when we find it we will share it with Fox and Friends. Then we will find out who committed the crime. This will completely exonerate the president from the charges that the Mueller Report already exonerated him from.

Me: Do you have any possible criminals in mind? I mean, anyone who is the focus of this new investigation into the investigation?

Billy: Let me just say this. SHE is in BIG trouble. Oh, yes. Lock Her UP. Also, there is a “person of color” who we are looking at. If I said his name you would recognize it. Lock Him Up. Lots of FBI and CIA agents who are members of the deep state. They will be spending some time in the barrel.

Me: Sounds like you already have your conclusions before you even investigate.

Billy: Well, why investigate a crime if there is no crime. We are investigating criminal activity to find criminal activity. Deep state. Lock Her Up. The president is above the law. Lynching. Lynching. Lynching….

Me: Ok, Billy. Let’s leave it there. Now, what about all the evidence that Trump withheld aid to the Ukraine and you refused to even investigate the whistle blower complaint?  And is it a very odd coincidence that your new investigation just happened to be publicized what Mr Trump is going to be impeached?

Billy: Look. Look. Shiny thing. Shiny thing. Don’t look here, look there.

Berning the Dems

Bernie Sanders will not quit.

In 2016 many of Bernie’s supporters , loyal to the end, failed to come out to support Hillary Clinton. The result was a victory for Donald Trump. Just a few thousand more votes in Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, North Carolina, etc. and we would not be saddled with this boil on the ass of America called Donald Trump.

The Bernie narrative went like this. Bernie was cheated out of the Democratic nomination by the “establishment”. This “establishment ” was controlled by Hillary and using her nefarious methods cheated Bernie (and his fanatic supporters) from winning the nomination he deserved.

Now, this plot had two tentacles.

First, the Clinton “super delegates” gave the nomination to Clinton even though Bernie had won the vote of the Democratic rank and file. The sneaky, corrupt Clinton machine stole the election from the people!

Except…according to the final analysis by “FiveThirtyEight” an independent analysis site, Clinton won the Democratic popular vote with 55% of the total. A full 12% higher than the Bernie vote. Yes, Bernie got 43% of the Democratic vote. He lost. Fair and square. So, the first tentacle of the plot is cut off by the facts.

But that still leaves the 2nd part of the Clinton tentacle. Bernie voters were simply prevented from voting! Voter suppression!!! Well, there is some truth to this. But it has nothing to do with the Clinton plot.

In New York, for example, many Bernie voters went to the polls and were told, “Sorry, you can’t vote in the Democrat primary”. Why did that happen? The answer is simple. They weren’t REGISTERED as Democrats. DUH. Since New York is a “closed” primary state, only Democrats are allowed to vote in the Democratic Party primary. Is that unfair? (In fact, Trump’s own children and lawyer could not vote in the GOP primary because they were not registered Republicans)

This fact has led the Bernie folks to spread the false narrative somehow the Clintons plotted to keep Bernie supporters from voting. No. Ignorance of the law or simply NOT BEING DEMOCRATS kept Bernie supporters from voting in the New York primary.

The claim that the Democratic establishment “rigged” the primary vote was part of the Bernie narrative and continued into the Democratic Convention:

“.…Sanders withheld his endorsement of Clinton until the middle of July, and his delegates to the convention devoted much of their energy to vigorously protesting the proceedings. The booing from the audience was so loud that speakers either struggled through their remarks or stopped to plead with the delegates…...”

This played into the GOP narrative of the “corrupt” Clintons and probably led to many Bernie voters either voting for Jill Stein (Green Party) or simply staying home and not voting at all.

Now, Bernie is old. He just had a heart attack. He is, above all, an egomaniac.

Bernie wants to have it both ways. He wants to be an “independent” but wants the nomination for the Democratic Party. For example, in 2016, he did register as a Democrat for purposes of seeking the nomination. But, he also registered for his 2018 Senate campaign as an “independent”. He did the same thing this election cycle. He has registered as a “Democrat” for purposes of running for president, but has already filed as a candidate for the 2024 Senate race as an “independent”. Having some cake and eating it, too.

To my way of thinking this is rather Trumpian. Big ego. Play the system. Being a “Democrat” when it suits him, being an “independent” when it suits him. Smells of egomania.

Bernie will not get out of the race. Like Donald Trump, he has a cult of followers. “Feel the Bern”. With so many legitimate Democrats in the race who need every vote from liberals and moderates, it is a shame to see this man continue down ego-trip lane. It is very possible that he might, once again, hand Trump the presidency.

The Dems may feel the Bern a second time. As long as it massages Bernie’s ego, he could care less.

Was The Democratic Primary A Close Call Or A Landslide?

https://www.npr.org/2019/03/04/700121429/bernie-sanders-files-to-run-as-a-democrat-and-an-independent

http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/06/bernie-sanders-2016-rigged-wont-pledge-support-winner.html

Understanding Trump

If you are a logical person or a reasonable person Mr Trump may be hard to understand. His decisions, the way he treats people, his lies, his tweets may all seem the rantings of a loon.

After 3 years of campaigning and watching him on the stage I have come to some understanding of why he makes the kinds of decisions he makes. While on the surface they make no sense, if you can put yourself in his mind (and there is plenty of room) you may be able to make sense of him.

I was trained as an anthropologist, which is important. What an anthropologist tries to do is understand people who think in ways that are quite different from what we might consider “normal” in our society.

For example, the Yanomami (or Yanamamo) have a ritual they perform when someone dies. They cremate the body and mix the ashes of the deceased into a “stew”. The family then passes around the stew and everyone takes a drink. On the surface this is pretty disgusting and makes no sense.

However, to the Yanomami this action shows the highest regard for the dead. The dead become part of the living.The dead person becomes one with those who are still alive. It is the ultimate spiritual and physical connection. Odd behavior to us, but completely “normal” under their belief system.

So, when we look at Trump’s decisions we should not assume he holds the same values, beliefs, life experiences, etc. as a normal American. We should instead, an an anthropologist, try to understand his motives and beliefs by his actions. We should assume nothing, but rather look for a pattern of behavior to better understand the motives of that behavior.

For example, Trump is obsessed with destroying the ACA, also called Obamacare. Now, this program provides health insurance to millions of Americans. When the GOP tried to destroy it the outrage was so great that they could not do so. People like it. It guarantees health insurance for the working poor and supports the private insurance industry. Yet, Mr Trump insists he wants it ended, with no plan to help the 20-40,000,000 Americans who would lose insurance if he succeeds.

A logical person might ask: Why? Why try to destroy a popular program that is working? Now, if a better alternative was offered there might be a reasonable discussion. But there is no alternative offered, just the end of Obamacare.

Combine this with his other illogical actions concerning the border wall. His call for an investigation of Smollett, the black guy in Chicago, his history of discrimination against African-Americans in housing, etc. and a clear picture emerges.

He is a racist. Anything Obama did, no matter how helpful to the citizens, he is intent on undoing. While he criticizes black Americans and calls for all kinds of “investigations”, he never criticizes white supremacists or calls for investigations of police who kill blacks.

If you look at Mr Trump’s decisions and take the view that he is a racist, they all make perfect sense. His attacks on the people of Puerto Rico , Mexicans, ripping brown children from their parents, saying he wants more folks from Norway, etc. The overall , inevitable controlling factor, from the point of view of an anthropologist, is that this man makes policy decisions based on skin color.

Another area where Mr Trump’s decisions seem incomprehensible is his relationships with various foreign leaders. While he “loves” Kim Jung Un and respects Putin, he criticizes the leaders of democracies.

Why would an American president humiliate himself before Putin. Why kowtow to the dictator of Saudi Arabia? Why talk about his love relationship with Kim Jung Un? All three of these men are vile dictators who murder their political opponents. They kill newsmen. They destroy all critics. All three have raided the wealth of their own people and live like kings while so many in their countries have nothing.

What is the underlying attraction these men have as far as Trump is concerned? What is it about his value system that makes them attractive to him?

The conclusion I have reached is not that they “have anything on him”, like “compromat”. Rather, he admires brutality and physical strength. He sees the way these men “control” their populations with terror and he admires that. He sees that as a positive value. Leaders who are feared and bowed down to. Above questioning.

Why has he gone through so many cabinet members and advisers? He needs “yes men” around him. People who will tell him he is the greatest thing on Earth. Sycophants. Anyone who would disagree with him is put in his place or fired. No opinions other than that the the supreme leader can be allowed.

So, any decisions he makes must be unquestioned. He values complete loyalty to him and a disregard for any legal or normative structures. He losses the battle for the wall, so he simply says he will violate the law and build it anyway. If his political opponents disagree they should be destroyed. The free press must be destroyed, as well. There can be no exchange of ideas, only capitulation. In his world view that is the way a “great leader” acts.

Now, I am not justifying Mr Trump’s actions. Only trying to make sense of them. He does have guiding principles, even though he is probably not even cognizant of them himself.

He believes in strong man rule and the inherent superiority of light skinned people. If you keep in mind those 2 principles all of his actions, tweets, speeches, violations of the law and norms make sense.

It also helps one understand that so many Americans share that world view. After all, Mr Trump has plenty of support. You will never understand Mr Trump unless you understand that fact as well. He is not alone in his core beliefs. Admiration for authoritarian rule and racism. A lethal combination.

Lies Liberals Tell, Part 2

Lies Liberals Tell, Part 2 of 7.

Copyright Joseph Urban,  2007,2008,2009

Lie #2: People can be reasoned with.

Liberals have always put a high premium on reason and logic. We believe that when confronted with evidence and facts, people will inevitably accept the sensible solutions. We think that “if only” these folks would seriously think about and analyze the social situation they would come to a reasonable conclusion. Like we do.

The second liberal lie.

Definition of “Reason” : the power of the mind to think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic.

Let’s take the claim, repeated over and over, that Barack Obama was born in Kenya. While liberals and moderates dismissed this as the nonsense that it is, many on the right wing continue, even today, to believe this obvious lie.

Donald Trump, elected president, for 6 years continued to make this claim. It was a claim designed to delegitimize the first black president of the US. Plain and simple. It is a claim that was based on nothing more than someone’s unsubstantiated fantasy.

But, surveys showed that more than half of the GOP electorate continued to believe this claim. A claim made with no reliable evidence.  A claim so obviously unreasonable and false that it hardly needed denying.

Liberals think that people will look at facts and evidence, use their logic and come to reasonable conclusions. So let’s look at the “evidence” of Barack Obama’s birth.

When Barack Obama was born in Hawaii, 2 different newspapers had birth announcements. Two newspapers. Two announcements. A logical person would ask the question: Why would 2 newspapers in Hawaii print a birth announcement of a child born in Kenya by claiming this baby was born in Hawaii? Why would a hospital in Hawaii provide false information to newspapers concerning the birth of a child at the hospital? A reasonable person would ask what could be the possible motivation for a hospital and two newspapers to falsely claim a baby was born in Hawaii?

Now, the “birthers”, including Donald Trump, claim that they have proof that Obama was born in Kenya because a woman claiming to be Obama’s grandmother said she SAW his birth. This was based on an audiotape which purported to be an interview with Barack Obama’s paternal grandmother.

So, a reasonable person would make sure the old lady WAS Obama’s grandmother, listen to the tape, and make a reasonable conclusion. Let us assume the old lady on the audiotape was Obama’s grandmother. So, we listen to the tape. Understand that we do not know what the grandmother says, since she does not speak English. So, we have a translator who is a middle man.

On one part of the tape the translator seems to say that YES, this old lady claims she was at the BIRTH of her famous grandson. And this is where the “birthers” cut off the tape. This is the basis for their claim. An old lady who does not speak English says, according to a translator, that she SAW Barack being born. As the audiotape continues the interviewer asks her to repeat her answer to the question. He wants to get it clearly on tape that Obama was born in Kenya.

But then we see a problem. When the translator continues to talk to the old lady it quickly becomes evident that something was lost in translation. Yes, the grandmother proudly states, Barack Obama IS her grandson. But NO, she did not SEE his birth because he was not born in Kenya. She is clear. The translator is clear. This old lady, whether Obama’s grandmother or not, did NOT see Barack Obama born in Kenya.

But wait.  There is more. What about the birth certificate? Now, Hawaii does provide COPIES of birth certificates. If you need one, you pay for one. I presume it is the same in most states.  I have a COPY of my birth certificate from a hospital in Chicago. I don’t have the ORIGINAL. Why not? Because ORIGINAL documents are not provided. Why not? Because they are ORIGINALS. They are kept in government archives. No one is given an ORIGINAL, not even the President of the United States.. But the “birthers” made a big deal out the fact that Obama did not release his ORIGINAL birth certificate. He could not. He never had it. But Hawaii DID release PHOTOCOPIES of the original. And they even allowed reporters to view the original birth certificate in the Hawaiian archives.

A logical, reasonable person would then look  at these pieces of evidence and conclude that a baby named Barack Hussein Obama was born to a US citizen mother in Hawaii on August 4, 1961. A logical person would have no alternative but to conclude as much.

We can apply the same logic to climate change deniers, voter fraud claims, 9/11 conspiracy theories, Sasquatch sightings, aliens abductions, groundwater contamination by fracking  and a multitude of other claims. Are any of these claims valid? Liberals think we should should look at evidence, use logic and draw reasonable conclusions.

But, as the acceptance of  false ideas demonstrates, millions of Americans reject logic and evidence as a tool for analyzing data. They simply choose to believe what they want to believe and reject evidence to the contrary.

Liberals need to come to grips with the fact that millions of our fellow citizens have no desire or ability to use logic or reason. No inclination to accept evidence. When we argue from facts and evidence, our conclusions fall on deaf ears. The thought processes of many is similar to those who sought to ferret out witches in the Middle Ages.  If the accused floats, she is a witch and must be burned at the stake. If the accused sinks and drowns, well, I guess she was not a witch after all. You simply cannot argue with that “logic”

Liberals need to understand that reason, logic and evidence are irrelevant to many. They simply cannot be reasoned with.

Part 1: https://josephurban.wordpress.com/2019/03/04/lies-liberals-tell-part-1/

 

YIKES! It’s an Emergency

President Trump had an hour long speech explaining why he was calling for a national emergency on the US -Mexico border. While it did not have any new data or information, it was a stunner. He talked about …well… everything except the border.

Now some of the leftist socialist communists criticized his speech. Just because he talked about China. How great the economy is. How he singlehandedly ended the Korea nuke threat. How popular he is. How he will win the election in 2020. How so many women are tied up and gagged and brought over the border where there is no wall.  How the people love him. How he listens to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. How, now that he has declared a national emergency he will be going to play golf at Mar-A-Lago.

The leftist communists criticized him because he did not really make a case for the declaration and instead talked about other stuff.

So, I did some research into other national emergencies and how the presidents in the past handled them. I discovered that Mr Trump is indeed no different from other presidents in this regard. I give you two examples.

Abe Lincoln, April 19, 1861.

“My fellow Americans. As you know, I am the tallest president ever. Taller than Washington. So far my administration has been fantastic. The best. Just last week Momma has bought new curtains for the White House. Nice satin ones.

I took a long trip to get here. All the way from Illinois. I call it “Illinoise” because of all the talk back home. Good joke. Nice train ride. Me and Momma had a great train ride. I got to sit with the engineer and make that horn thing sound. Tooot..Tooot. I can’t do it as good as Tab. Well.

Anyhoo. Here’s the deal. A bunch of rebels have attacked Fort Sumter so I am signing a national emergency thingy and blockading the ports of the rebel states. Just sayin.

Do you like my new hat. It makes me look even taller, don’t you think? I wanted a red one but Mamma said I should go black. So I did. I tend to do what the little lady wants. Ha ha ha. Now I am off to Virginia to play some bowls on the new bowling green we just built.”

Then there was the FDR national emergency of December , 1941. I found this transcript in the archives.

FDR

“My fellow Americans. As you know, I won the last election in a landslide. God the people do love me. Did you all see the inaugural parade. Fantastic. Lots of bands. Now some people say I am in a wheelchair.

Fake news.I can stand up as well as any man. In fact, when I stand I am the tallest president ever. Taller than Lincoln. By far. Notice how I got us out of the Great Depression? Anybody. And now you all have Social Security. Best system ever.

I do not have a girlfriend. That is a lie. Fake news.

By the way. Yesterday the Japanese made a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor. A day that will live in infamy. So, we need to declare war on the Japanese and the Germans.

Have any of you even seen the new Bentley that I ride in? I mean, talk about a smooth ride. Wow. I am going to take a few days off for a nice ride in the beautiful New Jersey countryside. Beautiful New Jersey, is that an  oxymoron or what? See you all later.”

So, those who minimize the national emergency speech of President Trump. Take that. A little history lesson for the communists who criticize our man.

Humpty Trumpty

Humpty Trumpty demanded a wall

Made out of concrete

Thirty feet tall.

Humpty Trumpty shut government down

Stomping his feet

Punching the ground.

Humpty Trumpty called in the Dems

Chuckie just sat there

Nancy wouldn’t bend.

So Humpty Trumpty tweeted and moaned

The wall must go up

A no immigrant zone.

Humpty Trumpty begged and he pleaded

But Chuck and Nancy

Would not be defeated.

Humpty Trumpty then asked around

For a  ditch or a fence

Anything above ground.

Humpty Trumpty pretended to win

I got my wall

He tweeted with a grin.

But all Humpty got was some egg on his face

While Pelosi and Schumer

Put him in his place.

Humpty Trumpty sat on his wall to the sky

Then Humpty fell off, but he didn’t die

You see Humpty Trumpty’s wall was a lie

The Great Wall of Mexico…

Just 3 inches high.

 

 

The Guy At the End Of the Bar

Bartender: Ok, Mack, closing time in 15 minutes.

Guy at the end of the Bar ( GAEOB): (slightly slurring his speech) What a bunch of BS. I paid for my friken drinks. Dammit. One more thing. Didj all see the Bears game?

No one responds.

GAEOB : Stupid coach. He calls a running play on 2nd and one. How’s stupid is dat? He don’t know nuttin. I am smarter than all dem coaches. Pass da ball. Always pass da ball.

Tom (somewhat sober patron sitting at the bar): Yah, but they made the first down and won the game, didn’t they?

GAEOB: Bunch of baloney. I know more than dem coaches. Smarter than all of em. And anudder thing. Build the dam wall. Keep out the Mexicans and the terrorists. A nice big beautiful wall. Dat’s what I say. I got a fence in my yard. You don’t see no terrorists in my yard.

Bartender: Almost closing time, buddy.

GAEOB: Tell ya anudder thing. Those damn Chinese. Don’t talk to me about the Chinese. They cheat. I say, bomb em. Put up tariffs. That’ll teach em.

Tom: But that just makes the things we buy more expensive for us.

GAEOB: Bull- looney. I say don’t buy the Chinese stuff. I never buy Chinese food. Just don’t buy the stuff. I say, shop at Walmart and the Dollar Store. That’ll teach em. Watch em start crawling to us . On their knees. That’ll show the Chinese. And the Japs, too. I say only buy American food. Period. Stop buying chopsticks.

Bartender: OK, bud, you got 5 minutes.

GAEOB: Then there is ISIS. We defeated ISIS. ALL over. All dead. Just like we defeated Iran.

Tom: ISIS is still around. Tens of thousands of them. All over the Middle East and Africa.

GAEOB: Fake news. ISIS is gone. Done. I wiped them out. Another thing. No global warming. No icecaps melting. All fake news. I know more than the scientists. You wanna win a war. Call on me. I know more than the generals.

Tom: Uh… the scientists, highly educated,  have studied these problems for years. And the generals have years of training, education and experience. You know more than them.

GAEOB: Bet your hooters I do. Smarter than all of them. They don’t know nuttin. And all dem darkies on welfare. I say make em work. Nobody gets somethin for nuttin. I know. Tired of all the freeloaders. I get my disability check every month. And my Social Security check. You don’t see me freeloading.

Bartender: OK. Time’s up, old timer. Time to go. the bar is closed.

GAEOB: And anudder thing. The women love me. Love it when I grab em. I am the best, I tell you, the best. I never even met Cohen. Who is Manafort? No Trump Tower. No Trump Tower. Fake. All fake. No collusion! Lock Her Up. Mexico will pay….Lock Her Up!!!

Bartender (on the phone): Yep…uh huh…he got out again…PLEASE send the Secret Service over and tell them to keep a closer tab on this guy. While we are talking tabs…he owes me for 2 years…what…sue me? He’s bankrupt again? I should just charge it to the Treasury?

And so goes the Guy At the  End OF the Bar.

And we will pick up the tab.

 

 

 

Trump Jeopardy

Alec Trebeck: Welcome back to Jeopardy. We have two categories still open. Our contestants are locked in a 3 way tie, with no one having answered a question correctly yet. So, ladies will go first. Sarah Huckabee Sanders you can pick.

Chuck Grassley: Is it my turn?

Alec: No, Senator, it is Sarah’s turn.

Trent Gowdy: I think we need to investigate that further.

Alec: No, Trent. OK. Sarah, we have 2 categories left. They are: The Answer Is Trump and The Trump Organizations. So, Sarah?

Sarah: I will take The Answer is Trump for 200.

Alec: He said he could grab pussy anytime he wanted because he was famous. Buzzz. Sarah?

Sarah: Who was Hillary Clinton?

Alec: No…no. Who is Donald Trump? Sarah, you still have the choice.

Sarah: The Answer Is Trump for 400.

Alec: He instructed Cohen to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay off women he had sex with while his wife was pregnant. Buzzz. Trent Gowdy.

Trent: What is Benghazi?

Alec: No…no..The answer is: Who is Donald Trump? Please pay attention to the category. Ok, Sarah?

Sarah: I’ll take Trump Organizations for 200.

Alec: This organization took millions of dollars from donors but never spent any of it on charities. Buzzz. Trent.

Trent: What is Benghazi?

Alec: No..no…Buzzz. Senator Grassley.

Grassley: Yes.

Alec: no…no…The answer was : What was the Trump Foundation? Ok. Sarah?

Sarah: Trump Organizations for 400 Alec,

Alec: This real estate business actually was started by Trump’s grandfather, who made his money literally on the backs of women. He ran a whore house. Buzzz. Sarah.

Sarah: Who was the National Football League?

Alec: No…Buzzz. Grassley?

Grassley: Who refused to kneel for the National Anthem?

Alec: No..The answer is : What was The Trump Foundation? Sarah?

Sarah: The Answer Is Trump for 600.

Alec: OK. PLEASE remember the category. Buzzzz. Grassley?

Grassley: World War 2?

Alec: no…please wait for the question. This president and his associates are currently being investigated for criminal activities 15 times…no..16 times..no..17 times and counting. Buzzzz. Trent.

Trent: What is Benghazi?

Alec:.No…no…The question is: Who is Donald Trump? Please keep in mind the category. Sarah, your turn still.

Sarah: I’ll try Trump Organizations for 600 Alec.

Alec: This organization ran casinos that went bankrupt even though it is nearly impossible to lose money running a casino. Buzzz. Grassley?

Grassley: When do we eat? They said we would eat. Somebody told me we would be eating here.

Alec: No..sorry..Buzzz. Sarah?

Sarah: Where is Las Vegas?,Alec.

Alec: No. The answer is: What is the Trump Organization. Sarah?

Sarah: Trump Is The Answer for 800.

(DING DING DING)

Alec: The Daily Double. So, Sarah, how much do you want to risk. You now have no money so you can risk up to 1600.

Sarah: I will risk 7 dollars Alec.

Alec: OK. This Florida university was sued and had to pay its students $25,000,000 for damages due to fraud. For defrauding students. Sarah?

Sarah: uhhh…What ..is…..Harvard University?

Alec: No…no..Buzzzz. Grassley, you can’t answer this one.

Grassley: Well, I know this one. What is the University of Alabama?

Alec: No..no.. The answer: What is Trump University? Sarah, you are still up.

Sarah: I’ll take Trump Organizations for 1000 Alec.

Alec: Ok. PLEASE, PLEASE remember the category is TRUMP organizations. This man ran a real estate business that US banks refused to lend money to, so he went to Russia to get financing. Buzzz. Trent.

Trent: What is Benghazi? …no…no… Who was Hillary Clinton?

Alec: No..no…The answer is: Who is Donald Trump. Sarah?

Sarah: I’ll take The Answer Is Trump for 1000.

Alec: OK. This 2016 presidential candidate was trying to make a deal with Putin to build a tower in Moscow while he was running for president. In 2016. Buzzz. Grassley.

Grassley: Who was Abe Lincoln? He ran for president, didn’t he?

Alec: No..no..The answer is: Who is Donald Trump? Sarah, thankfully we have the last question. PLEASE remember the category. Trump Is the Answer for 800. This man was given given over $ 400,000,000 by his father and still managed to go bankrupt 4 times. Buzzz. Sarah?

Sarah: What is Fake news?

Trent (yelling): BENGHAZI! BENGHAZI !!!

Grassley: Who is Senator Grassley?

Alec: OK OK. So, we will now go to final jeopardy. Since no one has any money we will alter the rules. If anyone gets the final answer correct you will win $100.

The final jeopardy category is: President Trump. The final Jeopardy answer is: This man’s daughter, Ivanka,  son,  Donald and son-in-law Jared will soon be indicted by Robert Mueller. Please write your answer in the form of a question.

(one minute later)

Alec: Ok, Sarah, show us your answer…. ” Who is Donald Duck?”..no…Senator Grassley?…”When do we eat?”…uh..no…Trent Gowdy?…” When will we investigate Benghazi?”..sorry…OK since we have no winners we will determine today’s champion by playing paper , rock and scissors.

(After 7 rounds of paper, rock and scissors produce no winner, Alec goes home)

 

 

 

Honoring the Veterans

I am basically a pacifist. Well, a conditional pacifist. I think the best way to keep the peace in this day and age is to have a strong military. To act as a deterrent to dictators like Putin and Kim . But not to use the military for political stunts. Like border patrol.

So, I do not glorify the military. I see it as a necessary arm of government, much like the EPA or Social Security. Also, keep this in mind. Although some claim that the US military is underfunded, the fact is that the US spends quite a bit on national defense.

For example, in 2017 the US spent $610,000,000,000 (That’s billion). The next 6 countries, in order, spent:  China ($228 billion), Saudi Arabia ($70 billion), Russia ($66 billion) , India ($64 billion), France ($58 billion). In other words, the US spends MORE than the next 7 or 8 nations combined.  Just some perspective.

Once a year (actually more often than that) we take time out to honor the dead veterans from past wars and honor the current veterans. Speeches are made. Wreaths are laid. Songs are sung. Flags are waved.

On Veteran’s Day in particular. The most important day for remembering. A day that even the most avowed pacifists recognize as a day to say “Thank you” to veterans. Thank you , Dan, my reluctant veteran friend. Thank you, Bob and Rich, the two gay married veterans who live down the street. Thank you Sean and would be veteran Connor, both stationed overseas. Thank you to my deceased father in law, Bill. And on and on and on.

But President Trump did not honor the veterans this weekend. While all the leaders of Europe marched in Paris, France to honor the millions who died in the “War to End All Wars”, Mr Trump and Mr Putin decided not to show up.  While other members of the administration drove to the American cemetery outside of Paris, Mr Trump decided not attend, the excuse being it was raining.

Every president places a wreath at Arlington on Veteran’s Day to honor the Americans who have died in wars. It is a 10 minute drive from the White House. For two years in succession Mr Trump has failed to do so.

Mr Trump, who had a doctor’s excuse to get him out of the Vietnam War, has not been present to honor veterans. They are not high on his list of priorities.  The man who used a bogus doctor’s excuse of “heel spurs” to avoid service. The man who castigated John McCain for being captured and held captive and tortured. The man who said he knows more about military strategy than the generals.

Not showing up.

Perhaps that is the best way for him to honor the veterans. Not showing up.

Sore Winners, Sore Whiners

In 2016 the folks who voted for Donald Trump got what they wanted. Donald Trump. The Republican party took control of the Senate, the House of Representatives, the White House and the Supreme Court.

Since the election Mr Trump and the Republican party have been able to name 2 new justices to the Supreme Court. These justices will help determine the laws for the next 30 years. They will likely overturn a woman’s right to choose. They will likely continue to support voter suppression laws. As promised.

Since the election Mr Trump and the Republican Party have passed a $1,500,000,000,000 tax cut, with $1,200,000,000,000 of that going to the top 1%. As promised.

Since the election Mr Trump and the Republican Party have done much to gut the Affordable Care Act and cut spending on social programs. They have gutted environmental protections. Sold public land to gas and oil and timber leases for corporate profit. Built the pipeline. Added billions to the military. As promised.

Since the election Mr Trump and the Republican Party have dropped out of the Global Warming agreements, dropped out of the US-Asian trade agreements, imposed tariffs on China and Europe and in general done everything possible to destroy international treaties and cooperation. As promised.

So, why are they so mad? Why are they so unhappy? Why are the Trump supporters still chanting “Lock Her Up”? Why are they frightened  all the time? Why do they fear 5 year old Honduran girls? Why so much hate? Why so much whining and complaining?

They wanted a conman, a xenophobe and a racist. They got it. They wanted a political party that suppressed the votes of minorities and that redefined American as “white”, not “diverse”. They got it. They wanted a political party that put profits ahead of people. They got it.

So why the whining? The Republican Party and Donald Trump have had complete control of the political process for 2 years and have accomplished almost everything they wanted. So, why the whining?

There is nothing they cannot make a law about. So, why the whining?

Never in US history have so many “winners” turned into so many “whiners”.

It would be interesting to find out why the folks who won the last election are so miserable.