Bats in the Belfry

There was a definite scratching noise above our heads. It was in the attic, right above the bedroom. So, in February we called in a mouse and rat exterminator.

He climbed into the attic and looked around. No. No mice. No rats. We had bats. Bats in the attic.

He suggested a company that takes out bats since in NY there are laws. Only a certified person can take out bats. Bats are protected so they can’t be killed. Which is fine with me. I like bats. The two little guys who live in the barn do a great job of insect control on the summer. But bats in the house. Not so much.

So , after the covid subsided somewhat we called in the bat people. A three day job. As they explained it.

First, safely remove the bats. (As luck would have it the bats had already left, but the toxic droppings remained).

Second, remove all the bat droppings and all the insulation.

Fumigate to kill any residual bat remains.

Close up all the holes where the bats might have entered.

Replace the insulation with new insulation.

And then, voila, a bat free, toxic free attic.

We have bats in the attic of the nation. The Trump family bats. The Republican cowardly bats. Batshit crazy. Bat dangerous. And there is only one solution.

As of January 20 we will have removed the major infestation. It will be gone, hopefully never to return. But to make sure we need to do some more work. Because other bats remain.

We need to clean up the shit infested mess left by the bat family. Clean up and fumigate. Get rid of the mess. Throw it out. Take it to the dump.

We need to put down new insulation. Insulation against idiocy and alternative facts. Insulation from Fox and Newsmax. The insulation of science. A thick layer of science. The old insulation of science was stained and weakened by the bats. We need to renew.

Then we need to plug the holes. We need to close up the avenues by which batshit politicians can enter the house. Seal it up. Make it bat proof. But that depends on the voters.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have thrown out the bats. But the work is just beginning. Trump and his batshit family are still going to fly around and crawl back into the attic. His pack of batshit followers are still trying to dirty up the house. Where they can continue to do unseen damage to the house. Undermining democracy.

The bats need to be caged. Permanently. I don’t know how. But it needs to be done.

Trump-Kim Summit Success!

Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will meet in two days for the big summit.  Usually we have to wait until after an event to get a reliable statement about what happened. However, in the days of “alternative facts” that is no longer necessary.

I will save you the agony of waiting to see how this meeting turned out. After all, what actually happens is secondary to what we are told happens. Knowing this saves a lot of time and anxiety. So here it is.

The official White House statement, followed by Mr Trump’s tweets.

From: The White House

Regarding: The Successful Summit with Kim Jong Un

The fantastic President Trump and the most honorable Kim Jong Un reached agreement on a number of issues. An historic agreement. An agreement for all time.

Kim has agreed to give up all his nuclear weapons. Every one. They will be destroyed. The international community will be provided with pictures of the destroyed weapons by the North Korean government as proof. Kim has also agreed to allow all political prisoners free, after a review by his court system. The North Korean government will provide an artist’s conception of an empty prison cell as proof. Kim also promised, on his brother’s grave, he will never try to invade South Korea.

President Trump gave up nothing. He looked Kim in the eye and the little guy folded. This is the greatest negotiation in the history of negotiations. Everyone agrees!

(End of statement)

Trump tweets on Air Force One coming home..

“Little Kim folded like an accordion. Gave up his nukes. Greatest negotiation in history.”

” Just took away all Kim’s nukes. Obama could not do it. BIG FAILURE. I did it. Forced Kim to give in. Greatest deal in history!  Many people say so. I don’t say it, but many people do!”

” Plan to build Trump Tower in Pongoyango, Korea’s capital. It will be fantastic. Biggest tower ever. Kim will finance it. Ivanka will run it. Beautiful girl. That’s what people say.”

“Little Kim is a liar . He PROMISED to give up his nukes. Now he says, maybe. Tower may be on hold. Beautiful tower planned. Now on hold. Kim doesn’t want to pay. Sad.”

“North Korea deal off the table. Obama’s fault. Obama should have bombed North Korea long ago. Soft on crime. Obama was very weak. Sad. Weak man. No deal with Kim. Except the tower. Still building Trump Tower Pongoyango. Mattress sale coming soon!”

 

 

 

Lugenpresse…Testing the Waters

At a Trump campaign rally in Ohio two of the Trump supporters called out to the journalist filming that rally that he was “lugenpresse”.  A term used by the Nazis to condemn any newspaper or journalist that did not toe the party line . Especially newspapers owned by Jews. The epithet aimed at any newspaper that criticized the Nazi Party. Or failed to bow down to the Fuhrer. “Lying press”.

On Sunday Kellyanne Conway did her weekly news “alternative fact” show, this time in an interview with Chris Wallace.  While not using the term, she echoed the sentiments of the “lugenpresse” when she wondered aloud why many members of the press had not been fired.  Why? For their coverage of Donald Trump.

She wondered why these members of the press were not dismissed by their bosses. Why they continued to appear on talk shows and give their opinions. Why are they not being silenced?

One of the first things the Nazis did when they gained control of Germany was to intimidate and suppress the free press. I say “gained control” because the Nazis never won the popular vote in a free election. They were always a minority party. Hitler was able to get only 32% of the vote for president in the last free election in Germany, with massive support from the rural  areas.

Once the Nazis did gain power they were quick to use it to suppress any opposition. Key to that was the free press. Communist newspapers. Jewish-owned newspapers. Independent newspapers were quickly brought under the control of the new regime. By intimidation.

The “lugenpresse” were any newspapers or journalists who dared contradict the Nazi facts. The Nazi “alternative facts”. Control of the media was seen as crucial to ultimate control of the nation.The opposition, no  matter how slight, must be silenced. Real news must not be reported. Facts must not be reported. An “alternative ” reality must be established with Goebbels deciding what is acceptable. The idea that the press must be the mouthpiece of the government  was the goal. And , for the most part, it was.

Kellyanne Conway and Steve Bannon are testing the waters. Attacking the press. Calling for the removal of those who dare criticize. Calling for a ban on people of the Muslim faith based on an idea that Muslims are all terrorists and all alike. Mr Trump calling into question the actual photographic evidence of the crowd size at his inauguration.  An attempt to bully the leader of Mexico into paying for a wall that Trump wants to build.  The first “press conference” with Sean Spicer, Mr Trump’s spokesman, was an attack on the press. And the attack ended with Spicer walking off refusing to answer questions. The message was clear. We will control the press. We cannot allow any contradictions or criticisms.

An all out attack on the facts, evidence and common sense. An “alternative” reality compete with “alternative  facts”

They are testing the waters to see how far they can go. Can they bully the press into silence? Can they bully our neighbor into compliance? Can they bully the American people into subservience? Can they bully the GOP controlled Congress into silence?

I think not. (Well, maybe they CAN bully Congress). The USA in 2017 is not Germany in 1933. The US citizens in 2017 are not going to sit back while Muslims are treated harshly and Mexicans are stereotyped and the free press is under attack. And the press is not going to roll over to an alternative reality.

The Trump folks are testing the waters to see how far they can go. Those waters will get hot very quickly.

(Note: The most thorough set of books on the Nazi rise to power is the trilogy by Richard J Evans. The Coming of the Third Reich, The Third Reich in Power and The Third Reich at War)

Trump’s Alternative Reality Explained

I saw Kelly Conway, Trump’s spokesperson ,  explain that she has a right to “alternative facts” if the actual facts are not suited to her story. Hey, this is America. When the facts are liberal what other choice does she have?

But as I examine the myriad of demonstrably false claims of her boss I am left wondering if he is, in fact (or, more precisely, in “alternative fact”) correct and honest in his  statements . Can one man deliver so much misinformation? Does he really have the IQ to make up all the stuff he makes up? Or does he really believe it?

Which brings me to Star Trek.

Anyone who has ever watched Star Trek or the many spin offs of Star Trek understands that we are not alone.  Spock (Mr, not Dr), would be the first to tell us that in addition to our own universe there are millions of parallel universes which also exist.  In space. And in time.

For those of you who  are ignorant of the realities of the hard science of fictional characters and preposterous ideas on TV shows, let me try to explain. Perhaps your puny human brains will be able to comprehend.

In the space-time continuum there are many points of overlap. As time and space bend (according to Einstein) there are points at which space and time meet and fold . Kind of like a bean burrito on a hot day in east LA.  It can get messy.

Where these folds occur there are sometimes breaks and openings or fissures in the space-time continuum. Again, according to Einstein (not Albert, but Juan Einstein who runs the taco stand on 112th Street), this is similar to what happens when the soft taco shell leaks. While the entire taco holds together, certain breaks in the tortilla allow beans, salsa, cheese and some other goo to leak through. This is nearly identical to  a fissure in the time-space continuum.

When that happens, in the universe or at a Mexican eatery, things get sloppy. Leakage occurs. Things spill over from one reality to another. It ain’t a pretty sight.

This explains Donald Trump. Every one of Donald Trump’s statements is factually correct and accurate. It is just that he (and many of the folks who followed him through the wormhole) are living in a parallel universe. They have seeped into our reality like the sloppy drippings of a three day old soft shell burrito.

In Universe Trump  the size of a crowd on a photo is inversely proportional to the actual number of people there. For example, in Universe Trump I have over 6 billion followers of my blog, rather than being limited to my wife and the neighbor’s cat. (Well, the cat skips a lot of them).

In Universe Trump millions of people vote illegally whereas in our universe, let’s call it the Real Universe, there is no voter fraud of any consequence. None. Zippo.

In Universe Trump Mexican people are lined up at the 2,000 mile border 8 deep while Obama border agents hand them $1000 bills and pull them over to our side. In the Real Universe, of course, deportations and border security are at an all-time high.

In Universe Trump there is chaos everywhere. Carnage in the streets.  Well, any streets that have not been destroyed by liberal policies.Carnage in our schools where kids learn nothing. Absolutely nothing.  (I guess in Trump’s Universe knowing nothing is a sign of an educated person). Carnage, carnage everywhere. What a mess.In the Real  Universe there are problems, but no bodies piled up by the thousands (except at anti-Trump rallies).

In Universe Trump our military is a bunch of worthless wimps, our factories have all closed and the planet is getting colder by the minute. Of course, in the Real Universe none of this is true.

So, to understand Trump you have to realize that somewhere in the space-time continuum he fell through a hole. (Or maybe pushed by someone on the other side. Barron? Ivanka? Melania?)There is a place in space where our universes meet, the Real one and the Trump one. Somewhere there is that fissure in the burrito.

How do we find it ? It would have be a place devoid of integrity. A place where conmen and the mob feel at home. A place where all hope, dignity and honesty  goes to die. Kind of like New Jersey but not quite as despicable.

So, what do we do? The Trump Universe has taken power in the Real Universe.Can we go  back in time and seal the fissure? Can the Real Universe overcome the Trump Universe and bring back Real Universe sanity. Can we build a time machine, maybe with illegal labor? Or will the Donald return to his own universe voluntarily, perhaps seeking a younger eastern European bride?

The solution is obvious. We need a transporter. (Do I have to explain? You know , it dissolves you and then sets you down someplace else). A transporter beam that we can use to beam back Trump to the universe from which he came. Transport him right through the fissure in the burrito.

Unless it is already too late.  By now those who he left behind may be worried that he will return. I expect they are already building  a wall.