ISIS is Innocent

For a long time I thought people  like Osama bin Laden and the leaders of ISIS were evil. That they fomented violence against the US. They should be blamed for 9/11 and other bombings and murders committed by their supporters.

By was I wrong.

I just learned that propaganda and words have no value. No influence. Mere words cannot be the cause of violence. Or even influence violence. The supporters of Trump have taught me that I was wrong.

Donald Trump has made a living calling for violence against his opponents. Calling the jailing of Hillary Clinton, implying that she is a criminal . Claiming that Barack Obama created ISIS, implying that he is a terrorist. Calling Mexicans and Guatemalan immigrants rapists and murderers. Claiming that CNN is the enemy of the people. The list goes on.

But none of the president’s words or claims or lies has any effect on his supporters. According to Trump and his team. And Fox.

When Trump supporters murder Jews or blacks or immigrants or gays, they are acting only on their own. They are not part of any racist movement. They are not part of any white nationalist agenda. They are not influenced by the President of the United States. Mr Trump can say whatever he wants and it has no effect on them.

So the Trump administration would have us believe. His words have no influence. He cannot be blamed for setting a tone. He has killed no one. He simply says stuff.

Which why I can now proclaim that Osama bin Laden is an innocent. He never flew a plane into the World Trade Center. He could not help it if some of his followers took his rhetoric too seriously. Bin Laden just said stuff. It had no effect on his followers.

And ISIS is innocent. Yes, they say Americans are evil. But it is not their fault that some wack jobs in the Middle East kill Americans to root out evil. Their words do not matter. They have no effect on their followers.

So, let’s stop criticizing racist speech. Let us rehabilitate Pol Pot, Hitler, Stalin and the rest. They only said stuff. Like Mr Trump, they are innocent of any actions taken by their followers.

ISIS is innocent.

Trump Dictionary…E is for

 

Election.  I won the election. Fair and square. Biggest total vote in US history. Most electoral votes ever. Amazing. Wow.

Election Fraud. Cooked Hillary had election fraud. Over 20 million illegals voted for Hillary. Fake news won’t cover election fraud.  My election fraud panel will prove it….What? They didn’t find election fraud? They disbanded? Fake election fraud panel.

Energy. Coal. Best energy out there. Amazing. And oil. No limit to oil. So much it will last a billion billion years. Believe me, that’s a long time. We need more drilling for energy. the best drilling.

Enormous. Bigly. A  lot. A whole bunch. Like “I have a enormous buildings.”

Erdogan. Big election. People love him. He won. Great leader. Strong leader. Like Putin. I like him. Locked up his opponents. Good job. Lock them up!

Evidence. Fake. Fake. Fake. No evidence of collusion. Mueller probe is fake. Donnie Junior did nothing wrong. I know. I was there. Putin and me and Russia did nothing wrong. I know. I was there. Terrible what the fake FBI did to Cohen. Great man. No evidence. Maybe a pardon?

Evolution. Fake . Do I look like I came from a orangutan?

(Add your own words below).

Trump Dictionary…C is for

 

Cable TV. Love cable TV. Fox is best. Watch it all day. Fantastic TV. I was the best show on cable TV. I made cable TV what it is today. Before me there was no cable TV. Best ratings ever. I had the best ratings. Ever.

China. Cheating us for years. Other presidents did nothing. Nothing.Bush did nothing. Obama did  nothing. I am defeating China. Trade war. Easy to win. Easy. Winning over China. MAGA.

Christian. I am the best Christian ever. Believe me. You will never see a better Christian. Amazing Christian. All Christians love me.

Colin Kaepernick. Traitor. Black guy. Get that son of a bitch off the field. Fire him. Not a patriot like me.

Collusion. No collusion. The facts have proven there is no collusion with Russia. Never was . Never will be. Crooked Hillary colluded. Not me. No collusion.

Comey. Worst FBI director ever. Very dishonest. Part of the Deep State. Democrat just like Mueller. Most corrupt person ever.

Control. Out of control. The FBI is out of control. Mueller is out of control. The blacks are out of control. The cheating Democrats are out of control. America is out of control. MAGA.

Corrupt. Bob Mueller most corrupt person ever. Horrible. Must fire him. Fake investigation must end.  No one has more conflicts of interest.

Crooked Hillary. Most crooked person ever. Crook. Why was she never investigated? Benghazi! Benghazi! Worked with Russians. Collusion with Russians. Crooked .

(Feel free to add your own words).

Presidential Tweets Exposed

President-elect Donald Trump has been (unjustly in my mind) harshly criticized for some of his tweets on twitter. For example, while stumbling around looking for the potty at 3 AM he tweeted about some porn movie. I mean, who hasn’t done that? Then he tweeted that he won the popular vote when he actually lost the popular vote. But in fairness to him what is a couple million votes one way or another?  Within the margin of error.While some suggest that he tweets for every real  or imagined offense, like a 13 year old school girl, I object. Most 13 year old school girls have more self-control.

But Trump is not the only tweeting president in US history. In my research I learned that other presidents and famous Americans have also tweeted. I think  it was Benghazi investigation #22 or #23 that discovered a trove of past presidential tweets that had been deleted from the public record. I have put together a smattering of them just to show that The Donald is hardly alone in his twittering.

From the hidden Benghazi Committee archives.

GeorgieWashington: Hey Martha, you fat pig. Can’t find my ivory molars. Where are they? Wait.  Never mind. Found them in my mouth. #WoodenTeeth

TomJefferson: Sally loves it when I grab her pussy.  All my dark girls do.  I am the best master they ever had. #SlavePussyIsBest

AndyJackson: Send them Cherokee back from where they came.Bunch of rapists. Back to  Oklahoma where all them red  injuns belong. #TrailOfTears

JimmyPolk: What are those Mexicans doing on their…er..our land. Send in the troops. What’s theirs is ours. Manifestly. #DirtyLittleWar

JeffyDavis: Two week war. Those Yankees will be begging for peace. Easy victory. God on our side. No,  I won’t be going myself. #RebelLoser

BobbyLee: Heading to Gettysburg. Supposed to be nice this time of year. Need a break  from the war. # BackedTheWrongHorse

AbeLincoln: Won the war. Freed the slaves. Need a break. Two theater tickets. Can’t wait. #OpeningNight

GeorgieArmstrongCuster: Be home tomorrow. Need to wipe out a few hostiles. Only good Indian is a dead one. Have dinner waiting. #LittleBigHorn 

FrankieRoosevelt: Round them up. Put them in camps. Build a fence around them.Can’t trust a Jap. Or Jap kids. #SlantEyeCamps

LyndonBainesJohnson: Two week war. Those Viet Cong will be begging for peace. Easy victory. God on our side. No, I won’t be going myself. #GulfOfTonkin

JimmyCarter: Conserve energy. Stop buying from the Saudis. Go solar. The American people are willing to sacrifice. If I just explain it to them. # OneTermer

RonnieReagan: No taxes. No regulations. No welfare. No unions. No healthcare. And guess what, mommy.  The suckers love me. #GreedisGod

BillyClinton: Monica sweetie. Just keep this between me and you, ok. No need to upset Hillary.And have your dress cleaned, already. #HaveACigar

GeorgieWBush: Two week war. Those towelheads will be begging for peace. Easy victory. God on our side. No,  I won’t be going myself. #WhereAreThe WMDs?

BarryObama: The economy recovered. Unemployment down. Heath care expanded. Out of Iraq. Our policies worked. Hillary is a shoe in. What could go wrong? #MakeHimFail

So, if President #DonaldTrump  continues to tweet and twitter his way through the next four years keep in mind that he can explain his in depth policies in only 140 characters . If no one is listening.

Note: Have a tweet of your own to add? Use the comments.

 

 

Trump Bait and Switch Part 4

“Lock her up! Lock her up”.

Donald Trump was clear and precise. Hillary Clinton was a criminal. She had so many crimes against the American people that it was unbelievable. Crooked Hillary. Lock her up.

He promised that when he was elected he would call for a special prosecutor to put her in the slammer.

Of course, she HAD been investigated over 9 times over the years. And more. And not a single Benghazi committee (run by her political enemies) or the FBI email investigations (run by her political enemy)  had found anything illegal. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

(Side note : Trump himself had been found to have broken the law by not renting to minorities and been force to pay a fine. And just this week he as forced to pay $25,000,000 to the poor fools who had enrolled in his Trump University con. Actual court findings.Not to mention whether he was using illegal techniques to avoid paying taxes the rest of us have been paying for 20 years. He also funneled $25,000 to the Florida attorney general when his Trump U was being investigated for fraud. An investigation that disappeared soon after)

So, when the Donald was elected his  little minions were beside themselves with joy.  Chanting away “Lock Her Up”. The chants often led by the man Trump has appointed to  his inner circle. Even in the throes of victory, the viciousness came out .  On election night they shouted “Lock  Her Up”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2016/live-updates/general-election/real-time-updates-on-the-2016-election-voting-and-race-results/as-trump-amasses-wins-his-supporters-chant-lock-her-up/

She would finally be brought to justice for all her heinous (yet unnamed) crimes over the years. No one was above the law. It was the cornerstone of his campaign. Crooked Hillary.  Lock her up.

Except. Oops.  Another bait and switch. Having gotten the Hillary haters to vote for him by his promises to put her behind bars for some imaginary wrongdoing, (The BAIT)  he has now decided he has more important things to do (The SWITCH).

His spokesperson, Kelly Conway, now says…well.. yeah..but. you see, even though he promised that during the campaign, now that the campaign is over he has …uh…changed his mind. A week later ?

http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/22/politics/conway-no-clinton-charges-donald-trump/

Personally I was hoping he would appoint a special  prosecutor. The problem was, if he had done so,  he himself could have been deposed by Clinton’s lawyers. And the last thing Trump wants is to be questioned about his own activities over the years.

So, sorry Trump fans. But you will  NOT get to see Hillary in the court. Looks like the conman has just given you your fourth wedgie. OUCH.

Bait and Switch number 4. I am sure there are more to  come..

(I welcome likes, positive and negative comments)

Trump IS the GOP

There seems to be widespread denial in the GOP. Many Republican leaders and former leaders have distanced themselves from Donald Trump. People like Colin Powell, Condi Rice, and the Bushes. Folks like Mitch McConnell and Paul  Ryan. John Mc Cain. (Of course others, like Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio,  Chris Christie and Rudy Giuliani have fully supported Trump’s campaign)

Some have silently distanced themselves. Just not  actively supporting him. Others have been vocal in refusing to support his candidacy.

They don’t like his “tone” . They don’t like his racism. They oppose his misogynistic statements. They cannot support his claims that our elections are somehow “rigged” against him. He does not, according to them, represent the values of  the Republican Party.

They are hypocrites.

Donald Trump IS the natural and predictable result of the tactics and rhetoric of the last 30 years emanating from the GOP. He did not “steal” the nomination of the GOP;  he was selected. He is not an outlier, he is at the very core of the new GOP. All the forces that were drawn together to win the nomination of the party have been trending for years in his direction.

First. Denial of the legitimacy of Barack Obama. This has been the key focus of the GOP for the last 8 years. So what that the majority of Americans voted for him and his policies? Before he took office the GOP , under Mitch McConnell, made it clear that the goal of the party was to “make him fail”. If the people did not want GOP policies, then the GOP would  simply stand in the way of the people. And they did. Trump’s assertion that elections are “rigged” is simply an extension of that mindset. If a Dem wins the Oval Office, we will refuse to recognize the will of the people.

Second. The Hate Clinton Machine. Since Bill Clinton took office  (elected by the people) the GOP has used millions of tax payer dollars to try to destroy both Clintons. We saw the Whitewater investigations which led nowhere.  We saw the joke of an impeachment trial which led nowhere. We saw 8 investigations of the tragic  killings in Benghazi which led nowhere. Now we see email revelations and FBI investigations which are leading nowhere. The GOP  has used the mechanisms of government to assault the Clintons, ignoring evidence when it does fit their hopes. And Trump simply is an extension of that process. Calling his political opponent a “criminal”, “Crooked Hillary”  and encouraging “lock her up” chants at his rallies. The natural extension of the GOP tactics.

Third. The stereotyping of blacks and Hispanics as criminals and on welfare. Who can forget the great (false) stories told by Saint Ronald Reagan about “welfare queens”? Or the overtly racist “Willie Horton” ads of GHW Bush?  The overturning of sections of the Voting Rights Act followed immediately by the passing of voter suppression laws. All part of the GOP mantra of “them” versus”us”. The defection on the late 1960s and early 1970s of racist southern Democrats, first to George Wallace and then to the southern GOP.  And the GOP welcomed these voters and welcomed their votes. They brought racism into the core of the new GOP. They brought in the people who passed and supported Jim Crow laws.  Donald Trump did not create this movement, although he has long contributed to it. He simply is the end product of  party that has welcomed racists and is now housing them. People that Barry Goldwater or Dwight Eisenhower would have rejected out of hand. Refused to allow into the GOP.. Now they are the core. Donald Trump is their natural leader.

Fourth. The frustration of some white men over the increasingly public  and powerful role of women in society. The GOP, at least in part, yearns for the” good old days”. What were these good old days? When a woman would not dare report abuse because the man was head of the household? When a woman could not file for divorce? When a woman could  not take out a loan without her husband’s permission? When a woman was expected to stay home except to pickup the kids and shop? When girls were encouraged to be cheerleaders but not athletes? A fantasy of male dominance. To be sure, this is not the majority of the GOP. But the GOP has intentionally sought those men who feel  their “rights” over women have been stripped from them. Those nasty women. Who do they think they are? Ironically, it is even some GOP women who support this fantasy. The anti-Planned Parenthood, anti-equal pay, anti-right to choose GOP was not created by Trump. He is simply the natural conclusion of the philosophy. So strong women are “nasty”. And while it is fine for him to have 5 kids with 3 different women, if Hillary Clinton had 5 kids with 3 different men it would be considered a crime without redemption.

So, don’t cry for the GOP. They invited in the racists. They actively sought out the sexists. They have spent years trying to delegitimize the very idea of government, especially any Democrat elected to high office.And they have used the machine of government to focus 25 years of attacks on both Bill and Hilary Clinton.

Is it any wonder that the Fox viewers and others have become so hostile and angry? They have been fed and nurtured by the lies and distortions and negativity of the GOP. And few, if any, in the GOP have ever stood up and said: “Wait. That is going too far”.

Trump did not create the current GOP. He didn’t lay the track for the locomotive. He didn’t fill the passenger cars with the angry, howling masses. The GOP did that.He simply climbed on board the train of hate, racism and ignorance and took over the conductor’s seat.

Trump is not an out of touch interloper. He IS the GOP.

 

 

Where There’s Smoke…..

There is an old saying: Where there is smoke, there is fire.

And over the years we have seen the Republican Party stir up a whole lot of smoke when it comes to Hillary Clinton. I am not quite sure why the GOP has gone after Clinton for over 25 years. What are the roots?

Could it be the fact that she was one of the assistants on the committee that investigated the Watergate break in? She was on the staff of the committee that discovered the complicity of Richard Nixon with the cover up of the burglary. Which led to his eventual disgrace and resignation.

Or was it her demand for justice for small children. The whole “it takes a village to raise a child” mentality. The GOP was somehow offended by the idea that all of us should be responsible for all children. That children are not ours to “own” and dispose of as we wish. That in civilized society we have  responsibility to ALL kids, not just children of the elites.

Or was it her support for equal rights for women? Maybe the concept that all Americans should have rights was threatening to the GOP philosophy of patriarchy. After all, it was not until the post WW2 era that women in some states could even sign contracts without hubby’s approval. And her support for the radical idea that a woman should control her own body! Perhaps the GOP was upset with her for that?

At any rate, over the years the Republicans have been constantly investigating Hillary. With tax dollars. Your dollars. My dollars. The attempt to find some law she has broken has become an obsession. And with so many investigations many people are convinced that she must have done SOMETHING illegal. Not sure what. But, where there is smoke, there is fire..

There is plenty of SMOKE. To recap.

The Whitewater investigation by Ken Starr.  Determined to find illegal activity by the Clintons, both Bill and Hillary, in the land purchases in Arkansas. So they investigated. And investigated. Starr found nothing. And investigated. And investigated.Lots of smoke. No indictment for Hillary. No illegal activity. But lots of smoke.

Then, with the help of Linda Tripp, they finally got a young woman alone, without a lawyer present, in a Washington, DC apartment. And they got her, without a lawyer, to admit that she had oral sex with the president. That was it . That was the outcome of the Whitewater investigation. $80,000,000 in taxpayer money (That would be $ 115,000,000 in today’s dollars). Smoke. For their money..I mean, OUR money…  they got the most expensive blowjob in world history. Lots of smoke.

Then we have Vince Foster. A friend of the Clintons . Dead. Well, if he was a friend of Hillary and he dies there must be some connection ! Could not just be a suicide. Pretty suspicious that someone who knows Hillary Clinton happens to commit suicide. Smoke. She must have had him murdered. Smoke.  Why else would he be dead? Smoke. He had terrible secrets. We will never know them, because they are secrets. Smoke.  Although more than 40,000 Americans  commit suicide every year, he was the one who knew Hillary. Connection. Smoke.

Next stop on the smoke parade? The very high speaking fees. Why did she take so much money for speaking? Just because, when she left the White House, the Clintons had massive debts. Up to $12,000,000 in debt when they left the White House.  Debts from what? From legal fees defending those smoky accusations. Debts from defending themselves in the Whitewater affairs. The impeachment proceedings. Lot of debts. But for some reason, making a great deal of money is suspicious. Smoke. Did people want to hear her speak? Evidently. Otherwise why would they pay her to speak. Free enterprise? Nope. If someone else gets massive fees to speak, well, more power to him. But if Hillary commands massive speaking fees it must be related to some illegal activity.Smoke. Can’t put our finger on exactly it is, but it MUST BE something nefarious. Something fishy. More smoke.

Of course Benghazi is in a class by itself. Lots of smoke. Over many years. Mountains of smoke. Smoky Mountains of smoke. The first Benghazi investigation found no wrongdoing or criminal activity. But that can’t be right. So, the GOP have Benghazi 2. Smoke. Nothing. Benghazi 3. Smoke. Nothing illegal. Benghazi 4. Smoke. Benghazi 5. Nothing. Benghazi 6. Smoke. Benghazi 7. Nothing illegal. Benghazi 8. Smoke. But the GOP had to get to the bottom of this, so… Gowdy’s Benghazi 9. Smoke. Smoke. And nothing illegal. 800 pages of nothing illegal. BUT. With 9 investigations she MUST have done something. Otherwise why are they investigating? Smoke and more smoke. Benghazi 9 costs $30,000.000 in taxpayer funds. Money gone up  in smoke.

But, we got her now, boys ! Those emails. Those 30,000 emails the FBI scoured through. And the millions of email fragments they scoured through. Smoke. Or so the GOP FBI Director concluded. Hillary and her staff let about 20 POSSIBLE highly classified emails slip through. Smoke. Nothing illegal. Careless? Yes, a little bit. Illegal. No. Lots of smoke. Lots of tax dollars. Nothing but smoke.

So, now, the GOP want to investigate their own  GOP FBI Director. There MUST BE SOMETHING illegal. All  that smoke.

25 years of smoke. 25 years of innuendo. Investigation after investigation. All paid for by the taxpayer. Accusations. Never supported by the facts.  But all that SMOKE. So the average citizen says: Look,  where there is smoke, there is fire. She MUST have done something illegal. Right?

Where there is smoke there is fire. Sometimes. Or. Where there is smoke there is a smoke machine. Simulated smoke. They use them at concerts and movie sets. Looks like smoke. Seems like smoke. Simulates smoke. Acts like smoke. Cloudy like smoke. Must be smoke.

NOPE. Sometimes , where there is smoke…there is just a smoke machine. Manufactured to look like the real thing. An illusion. Set up and plugged in to fool people. Welcome to the Republican Party Smoke Machine. The 25 year old smoke machine. Spewing phony smoke. Spending millions of dollars on the illusion.

You can buy one for yourself. For less than 50 bucks. I think the GOP overpaid, don’t you?

 

 

Throw Down: The Donald vs. Bill

A Throw Down Between The Donald and Bill. With apologies to the cast of “Hamilton” and, well, everyone else with rapping talent. (You have to rap this out loud for full effect)

 

(Moderator)

How does a millionaire billionaire abomination

Win the Republican Party nomination?

He does it with a nasty attitude

He does it with rude, he does it with crude

He does it with bigotry, does it with fear

He tells the Tea Party what they want to hear

He’s Donald Trump the celebrity

The candidate for the G O P

 

Now the former first lady is his opposition

How did a woman put herself in this position?

She worked for the government along with her mate

New York Senator, Secretary of State

She took a lot of crap from multiple sources

In the end she proved she had the resources

To come out on top, she did not stop

She won the nomination, she rode the right horses

She’s the Hillary, the female hope

She’s Hillary, ain’t no dope, nope

 

(Enter Donald Trump)

My name is the Donald so just step away

When I start talking I got something to say

I whipped Little Rubio, took him right down

Stepped on Jeb, made him look like a clown

I’ll say anything, so I can’t lose

If you don’t believe me you can ask Ted Cruz

They are all losers and I am a winner

I ate those chumps for Sunday dinner

Yo…Is that you Bill?

 

(Enter Bill Clinton)

 

My wife is Hillary and she’s on top

She gets inspiration and she just won’t stop

She works all night, she labors all day

She’s always in the office, no time to play

She’s devoted, promoted and working is her tonic-ah

Why do you think I turned to Monica?

Whoa…sorry about that…

 

(Back to Trump)

If Hill wants to know what I am thinking

Here’s how her ship of state I’ll be sinking

Talking bout Bill, how she found him whores

And she must be a lesbo, that’s for sure

Hillary’s a maniac, Hillary’s a liar

By the time I’m done she’ll want to retire

She’s a pimp for Bill, a shill for the Street

She does nasty women stuff. She’ll be easy to beat

Nasty women stuff…she’s got cooties…..

 

(Back to Bill Clinton)

OK Donald you continue talking trash

But Hill’s gonna whip you, gonna kick your ass

It’s true that my life is far from perfection

Many ladies have benefitted from my affection

But Trump, you’re a chump if you think you get away

With talking that trash. I got something to say

I know I’ve done many things that I shouldn’t oughta,

But I never fantasized about my own daughter.

I may have bragged that Chelsea was a cutie

But you talked about banging your own kid’s booty

You is sick man…Really sick…..

 

(Back to Trump)

People like hearing all the things I say

Like rounding up Mooslims – sending them away

Keeping out the immigrant Mexican slime

By building a wall nobody can climb

I’ll be doing what the people say I oughta

Like shooting to kill at the Mexican border

One more issue, blown out of proportion

Put women in the bin if they want an abortion

The Roe v Wade don’t mean nothing to me

I’m the king who decides who‘s in jail and who’s free.

The people want a leader who preaches hate

Isn’t that what made America Great?

Black Lives Matter…but not to me….

 

(Back to Clinton)

Donald you are dreaming if you think you can

Undo all the good things we have in this land

Women have rights to control their own body

Even though you don’t know what they do in the potty.

Freedom of Religion – it’s the Bill of Rights , say,

So you ain’t gonna drive no Muslims away.

You can fool the fools and the Fox News sheeple

But you ain’t gonna fool the American people

Your message of bigotry is losing fast

Your words of hate are from a long dead past

People aren’t buying your denial of diversity

Go home. Build yourself another phony university.

Hillary’s got the moxey, Hill has the brains

Hill’s gonna bury you – I feel your pain’

You claim to be a financial wiz

Even though your businesses tend to fiz

I’m not trying to be a mean-oh

But who goes bankrupt running a casino?

Bottom line Donald, you are nothing but a brand

You live in a castle but it’s built on sand.

So…now…you know what you know….

 

(Moderator)

So now we’re back to the moderator

We won’t know, the results come later

You best take a moment of deep reflection

Cuz this is a monumental election

Either Donald or Hillary will be the next president

Either Donald or Hillary — a White House resident.

In November you’re gonna have to choose

One’s gonna win, one’s gonna lose

The world wants to know, who is going to be

The commander-in-chief of the land of the free

So…don’t be a dope..when you vote..think about it

A lot…then .. think some more

President Trump

Hello. I’m Donald Trump.

Here’s the deal. Vote for me. Lots of complicated problems. Lots of simple solutions. I will make America strong again. Put us on the right track. Get us back to what made us great in the old days. You want specifics? Here are specifics.

Illegal  immigration. Build a wall. Big wall. Keep out the Mexicans. Now I like the Mexican people. Some are rapists, sure. But that’s in the blood. Can’t blame em. I know some good Mexicans , too. My housekeeper Manuela. Good person. Never steals. Love Mexicans. Build a wall.

Whose gonna pay? The Mexicans will  pay. We’ll build a wall using American labor and make Mexico pay. That is what I’ll do. Simple. Build it. Make em pay.

Putin. Tough guy. I’m tougher. Russia is a wonderful country. Love the Russian people. A lot of my friends are Russian billionaires. They wear fur coats. Real fur. Not the pretend stuff. Real minks and foxes. I love foxes but to be honest they make one helluva coat. But you gotta get a lot of em. Two or three foxes, all you get is a stole.

So I say to Putin. Valerie, here’s the deal. You don’t fly your planes over the US. You don’t bomb our cities or BANG. It’s over. World War 3 . I don’t like war but you have to be tough. Can’t back down. Putin respects that. Russian problem solved.

The Jewish thing with the Arabs . What a mess. Jews want the land. Palestinians want the land. And it’s crappy land. No casinos. How do you solve it. You need a tough negotiator. I’m the man. I bring in the Arabs. I bring in the Jews. I sit em down at table. One of those long oak tables with the carvings on the legs. I’ll have it custom made by my Mexican carpenter. Great guy. I say “We’re gonna do this deal”. That’s  it. We’re gonna do it.

Now, I like the Jews. Tough negotiators. Good business sense. My uncle was a Jew. Wore that cap thingy. Me. Not a religious man but I tolerate Jews, Christians, Muslims, you name it. No prejudice. But you gotta be tough with the Jews. Give and take. I know how to do that. Crisis solved. Bingo. Treaty signed. It’s over. Next problem.

Gay marriage. Who cares.  Let the gays be gays. Love the gays. My hairdresser is gay. I think. I don’t know.  Never asked him. None of my business. That Kim Davis broad says she won’t marry gays. I say. You got a job.  You were hired to do a job. Kim Davis. You’re fired.

Don’t get me wrong. I like Obama. Great guy. White mother. Black father. But he is not tough enough. Let’s people walk over him. Shoulda fired that broad a long time ago. I meant woman. No disrespect. I love women. My wife is a woman. Always respect the ladies. That’s who I am. But if my wife doesn’t do her job. Bingo.  She’s still fired.

Health care. Everybody gets it. End of story. If you can afford it you pay. Hey.  I can afford it. I pay. If you can’t afford it you get it for free. This is America. Nobody should get sick. Like cancer. You want to cure cancer. Let’s do it. I say to my Secretary of Health or whatever. Let’s get on this cancer thing. Today. No more stalling around. Find the cause. Find the solution. Bang. Problem solved. That’s how I operate. Results. You want to get rid of cancer. Let’s do it.

Running mate? Sarah Palin. Beautiful person. Former governor. Great experience. Intelligent gal. Knows how to handle a rifle. Great family. I’m a family values person. I had a lot of families and I still value every one of them. Paid child support. Paid alimony. That’s life. Sarah Palin. What a role model for young girls. Beauty and brains all rolled into one package. From Alaska. Cold there. They ride those snowmobiles and wear orange parkas.  I prefer fur, but that’s life. Each to his own..

Benghazi. A lot of nonsense. People died. Terror attack. If I’m president you won’t see any terror attacks. Terrorists know I won’t tolerate it. Can’t happen. I don’t blame Hillary. She did her best. Love Hillary. Great lady. Would have made a great Secretary of State or something but not tough enough to be president. Came to my wedding. She had to. I donated to her foundation. Bingo. That’s how to get things done. You wash my back, I wash yours.

I go to the terrorist and tell em. What do you need. OK. A new mosque. Some new camels. Couscous. Whatever it is, you got it. Just no more terror attacks. That’s it. Message sent. Message received. You attack. No more camels. No more couscous. You decide. You got to know how to deal with these people.

Congress. Dysfunctional. Shut down the government. Can’t pass a law. When I am president Congress will work. No more vacations. I want a law. They pass it. They don’t pass it. They’re gone. Done. I lock the doors. I say “You’re Fired”. I hire a new Congress. Maybe some Mexicans (the good ones) and a few Jews. We get the job done.

So that’s it. There’s more but you get the idea. I’m tough. I get it done. It is simple.

I will make America great again. You gotta problem. We solve the problem. Problem solved. Vote for me.

Contestant #4: Rubio…Less Than Meets the Eye.

(This is the fourth in a series of biased reports about the people who think they are qualified to be president. Really. They do. They think they should be the most powerful human being on earth. Really.)

I somehow missed it. On April 13 Marco Rubio evidently announced that he wanted to be President of the US. I missed it.

I had a little trouble finding his campaign website but I finally did. (marcorubio.com).

In announcing his candidacy he emphasized that he was a break with the old way of politics . A new beginning. A new way. Oh, I almost forgot. He announced his candidacy to his wealthy donors before he told the rest of us. A new way?

I checked his Senate website looking for specific legislation he has sponsored and/or passed. None mentioned. (rubio.senate.gov)

His campaign website has 5 issues. Each has a nice picture and the usual Obama-is-bad statements. I think someone should tell Marco that Obama will not be running again.

His 5 issues: Isis, Cuba, Iran, Abortion,Israel.

Nothing on health care. Nothing on unemployment.  Nothing on job creation. Nothing on immigration. Nothing on gun violence. To look at his website you would think he is running for Secretary of State….hmmm.

On ISIS he says we should kill them. He says we cannot “ignore” the problem. Yet, he has proposed no legislation authorizing the POTUS to do so. He does sit on the foreign relations committee, so he could write a bill.  But killing ISIS is a good idea. Obama should have thought of that.

On Cuba he says that Cuba is an exporter of terror and we should not have relations with dictatorships. Isolate dictatorships. An interesting principle. But he makes no comments about our China policy. He wants to keep Cuba isolated because it is a “communist” dictatorship. Maybe China is a nice communist dictatorship?  Did I mention he rejects the policies of the past and looks to the future?

On Iran he says we should isolate them as well. We should do what Netanyahu tells us to do. Does Rubio really think that the US can unilaterally decide world arms policies? And why should we look to Israel to determine our foreign policy?

On Israel he is clear. Obama  (there he is again) has “failed to stand with Israel”. But a quick check of military aid to Israel shows that under Obama the US has given much more aid than under Bush. More, in fact, than any other administration. Giving more aid and making it clear that we will support Israel in any attack is somehow “failing to stand” with Israel?  (http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/US-Israel/U.S._Assistance_to_Israel1.html)

The only domestic issue he chooses to include on his website deals with abortion. He is unequivocal. Roe v Wade, which guarantees a woman the right to an abortion, is “morally wrong” and should be overturned. He does not elaborate .

In some of his speeches Rubio has called for more tax breaks to create jobs. (Reaganomics) He has denied the science of climate change. Wants to go back to a time when all abortions were illegal. He was for immigration reform or not. Opposes any gun restrictions. Wants to isolate Cuba. Did I mention that he wants to look to the future and rejects the policies of the past?

His main claim seems to be that he is young. He emphasizes his youth as though it is somehow a qualification in and of itself.

In the political boxing ring Rubio is not a lightweight. He is a featherweight. Old wine in new skins. A blast from the past.

Much, much less than meets the eye.

Contestant #3: Hillary: There is Nothing Like a Dame.

(The third in a series of essays regarding the relative merits/demerits of announced Presidential  candidates).

Hillary Clinton. If you are Republican then “you can’t live with her, can’t live without her.”

Hillary Clinton. If you a Democrat then “there is nothing like a dame”.

Hillary Clinton. Liberal on social policies. Corporate on economic policies. Mildly hawkish on foreign policy.

Hillary Clinton. Long record. Lots of words. Lots of deeds. None of it matters.

Unlike the other candidates Hillary Clinton is a known quantity. She is either the devil incarnate or touched by an angel. She has been in power.  She has been around since 1992. She has actually accomplished things. There is nothing she can say or do that will significantly change support for or against her.

Hillary Clinton. Nothing new here.

Hillary Clinton. the first Woman President of the United States.

Hillary’s Hidden Emails

Much has been made of Hillary Clinton’s emails. I, myself , cannot think of a single reason why the Secretary of State would keep these private. It’s not like she ever communicates on any sensitive matters with foreign governments. Or might have personal thoughts.
Using my expertise in computer hacking I was able to locate and save a handful of Secretary Clinton’s deleted emails. I don’t know what the GOP expected to find, but WOW, these are radioactive! Remember, you read them here first, before they made it to the Drudge Report or Fox News!

Fr: HilClin to: Bubba
Bill. I am going to be late for dinner again. Please don’t order another take out from Gary’s Greaseburger. You know it makes you fart all night. On second thought, just pull out the sleep sofa. I almost forgot, some girl named Monica called again.

Fr: HilClin to: Barack1
Mr Prez. I ordered your good friend , the ambassador , to be killed by the Muslim Brotherhood in Benghazi as you requested. I still don’t see your end game in all this. Anyway, I am sure the dopes in the GOP will never figure out that I am a secret Muslim myself. ALLAH AKBAR

fr: HilClin to: ChelseaGirl
Be honest. Did that dress make me look fat? Too much cleavage? Not enough? Because Michelle1 was looking at me like “What’s that all about”. Sometimes I hate that b…. b….. Also, no, I cannot babysit next week. I am going to be busy deleting emails. LOL

Fr: HilClin to: StarrLoser
Hiya Ken. Just another email to RUB IT IN. You never could pin that Vince Foster caper on me, could you? And you KNOW I procured whores for Bubba all the time but you couldn’t prove that either. And Whitewater? LOSER ! NYA NYA

Fr: HilClin to: ISIS
Keep up the good work, fellas. I hate America just like you do. Off with their heads. ( I’d love to send you Bonehead Boehner LOL just kidding… he is the best thing I have going for me)

Fr: HilClin to: Sideshow Sarah
You go girlfriend. Keep saying those stupid things to make people think the entire GOP is a bunch of morons. So glad JohnMcOLD picked you. See you on the next moose hunt. Go girl! BFF

Fr: HilClin to: Wall Street
Open those wallets boys, I’m a coming soon. You KNOW no one can beat me. So you better join me. Get in on the ground floor !

Fr: HilClin to: ElizaWarren
Don’t even think about it. Really. Don’t think about it. I leave you with two words: Vince Foster. Don’t even think about it.

Fr: HilClin to: Email Server
When I delete these emails I should back up FIRST, right?

The cat is out of the bag. The jig is up. The GOP finally has the evidence they need to get Hillary.
Next step: Representative Gowdy is planning to subpoena Malia’s Iphone. Hey, you never know!

Benghazi: The Final Emails Exposed !

This is a top-secret memo so PLEASE do not share this with anyone. I was able to obtain it from my sources in Infowars and the World Net Daily. Highly respected and almost as accurate as Fox News.  Believe me folks, this is going to blow Obama and Clinton out of the water !  The Benghazi emails they do not want you to read !

I know. I know. You are all sick of Benghazi hearings. But we have only had 7 committees so far and have still not learned what we WANTED to learn. We have had  bipartisan committees with testimony from experts. From folks in the know.  And all that we know is the following. The Obama administration screwed up. The Department of Defense did  not talk to the Department of State who did  not talk to the CIA who did not talk to the FBI who did not talk to the Libyan Embassy who did not talk to anyone. And we know now that Libya was dangerous! Who would have thought?

While all the committees are pretty much in agreement that the US government SHOULD have done a better job of anticipating the attacks, so far no one has been able to link  these “acts of terror” ( as Obama called them) to the White House. No matter how many times we tried we could not find that “smoking gun” that would show us how Barack and Hillary planned and executed these “acts of terror” (as Obama called them).  Until NOW.

I was able to obtain this top-secret email exchange. While I cannot reveal my sources, take my word for it. It is accurate and blows this Benghazi thing right out of the water. It will blow the Obama administration right out of the water. And it blows Hillary and her chances for the presidency right out of the water. Did I mention how it blows stuff out of …uh…the water ?

The actual UNREDACTED email transcript.

Fr: Hillary To : Barack  Re: Benghazi planned attack

Barry. Your planned attack on the ambassador in Benghazi as gone like clockwork. Your orders for all US military to “stand down” and do nothing to protect US citizens was a stroke of genius. Good work , comrade.

Fr: Barack To: Hillary Re: Benghazi

Thanks,  sister in arms.  It wasn’t easy. But  with all my fellow communists running the CIA and FBI it looks like we are on our way to victory. Killing these four people for no apparent reason is the great diversion we needed. My ties to the Muslim Brotherhood remain a secret. Allah be praised.

Fr: Hillary to : Barack  Re: Benghazi

Hey,  bro. Notice how all those committees whitewashed your orders to kill the Ambassador. Even Issa fell in line. Enlisting him as part of the “I Hate America” campaign was pure genius. Issa…isn’t that a Muslim name? Death to all infidels!

Fr: Barack To: Hillary Re: Issa and Benghazi

Maybe. But he is secretly in charge of the Jewish conspiracy to take over Des Moines. Issa has been my best friend in Congress. No one suspects his connection. Fools. Do they think I was able to torch that compound in Benghazi by myself? I needed an experienced arsonist to pull it off.  By the way,congrats on the Foster murder. Props.

Fr: Hillary To: Barack  Re: Foster.

That is old news, comrade. My greatest moment has been getting Bill to take the fall for my lesbian affair with Monica. Hope that never leaks out ! The important thing is to keep our eyes on the prize. Now that we have disarmed America and taken over all health care we can go on to phase three of our top-secret ” Hate America Plan.”  Let everyone vote. The final step in our communist takeover !

Fr: Barack To: Hillary Re: Delete this

Signing off, fellow traveller. Make sure you delete all these emails. If they were to fall in the wrong hands  (like Fox News or World Net Daily or Infowars)  they would blow this administration right out of the water. Our plans to take away freedom would be exposed. My safe deposit box with my Kenyan birth certificate might be exposed! So, be careful, my little communist sweetie pie. Black power !

Fr: Hillary To : Barack Re: Delete emails.

No worries,  Barry, my communist henchman. I will delete this so no one learns of our secret plot to” Hate America” and kill Americans . Deleting now. What does this button do ?

CC: Michelle Bachmann…ooops…