Tag Archives: email

Trump’s Alternative Reality Explained

I saw Kelly Conway, Trump’s spokesperson ,  explain that she has a right to “alternative facts” if the actual facts are not suited to her story. Hey, this is America. When the facts are liberal what other choice does she have?

But as I examine the myriad of demonstrably false claims of her boss I am left wondering if he is, in fact (or, more precisely, in “alternative fact”) correct and honest in his  statements . Can one man deliver so much misinformation? Does he really have the IQ to make up all the stuff he makes up? Or does he really believe it?

Which brings me to Star Trek.

Anyone who has ever watched Star Trek or the many spin offs of Star Trek understands that we are not alone.  Spock (Mr, not Dr), would be the first to tell us that in addition to our own universe there are millions of parallel universes which also exist.  In space. And in time.

For those of you who  are ignorant of the realities of the hard science of fictional characters and preposterous ideas on TV shows, let me try to explain. Perhaps your puny human brains will be able to comprehend.

In the space-time continuum there are many points of overlap. As time and space bend (according to Einstein) there are points at which space and time meet and fold . Kind of like a bean burrito on a hot day in east LA.  It can get messy.

Where these folds occur there are sometimes breaks and openings or fissures in the space-time continuum. Again, according to Einstein (not Albert, but Juan Einstein who runs the taco stand on 112th Street), this is similar to what happens when the soft taco shell leaks. While the entire taco holds together, certain breaks in the tortilla allow beans, salsa, cheese and some other goo to leak through. This is nearly identical to  a fissure in the time-space continuum.

When that happens, in the universe or at a Mexican eatery, things get sloppy. Leakage occurs. Things spill over from one reality to another. It ain’t a pretty sight.

This explains Donald Trump. Every one of Donald Trump’s statements is factually correct and accurate. It is just that he (and many of the folks who followed him through the wormhole) are living in a parallel universe. They have seeped into our reality like the sloppy drippings of a three day old soft shell burrito.

In Universe Trump  the size of a crowd on a photo is inversely proportional to the actual number of people there. For example, in Universe Trump I have over 6 billion followers of my blog, rather than being limited to my wife and the neighbor’s cat. (Well, the cat skips a lot of them).

In Universe Trump millions of people vote illegally whereas in our universe, let’s call it the Real Universe, there is no voter fraud of any consequence. None. Zippo.

In Universe Trump Mexican people are lined up at the 2,000 mile border 8 deep while Obama border agents hand them $1000 bills and pull them over to our side. In the Real Universe, of course, deportations and border security are at an all-time high.

In Universe Trump there is chaos everywhere. Carnage in the streets.  Well, any streets that have not been destroyed by liberal policies.Carnage in our schools where kids learn nothing. Absolutely nothing.  (I guess in Trump’s Universe knowing nothing is a sign of an educated person). Carnage, carnage everywhere. What a mess.In the Real  Universe there are problems, but no bodies piled up by the thousands (except at anti-Trump rallies).

In Universe Trump our military is a bunch of worthless wimps, our factories have all closed and the planet is getting colder by the minute. Of course, in the Real Universe none of this is true.

So, to understand Trump you have to realize that somewhere in the space-time continuum he fell through a hole. (Or maybe pushed by someone on the other side. Barron? Ivanka? Melania?)There is a place in space where our universes meet, the Real one and the Trump one. Somewhere there is that fissure in the burrito.

How do we find it ? It would have be a place devoid of integrity. A place where conmen and the mob feel at home. A place where all hope, dignity and honesty  goes to die. Kind of like New Jersey but not quite as despicable.

So, what do we do? The Trump Universe has taken power in the Real Universe.Can we go  back in time and seal the fissure? Can the Real Universe overcome the Trump Universe and bring back Real Universe sanity. Can we build a time machine, maybe with illegal labor? Or will the Donald return to his own universe voluntarily, perhaps seeking a younger eastern European bride?

The solution is obvious. We need a transporter. (Do I have to explain? You know , it dissolves you and then sets you down someplace else). A transporter beam that we can use to beam back Trump to the universe from which he came. Transport him right through the fissure in the burrito.

Unless it is already too late.  By now those who he left behind may be worried that he will return. I expect they are already building  a wall.

 

 

 

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Filed under border control, Democrat, GOP, government, liberals, logic, Politics, Trump, United States, US

When Is the First Debate?

Tonight is supposed to be the third debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. A debate between 2 people who want to take on the job of most powerful and influential human being on the face of the Earth for the next 4 years.

I am still waiting for the first debate.

So far, all we have heard about is sex , lies and emails. Insults.  Smirking. Sniffling. Name calling. Promises of prison. Just a bad reality TV show. Not a debate. A spectacle encouraged by an unprepared press. Seeking ratings, not truth.

When is the first debate? Where is the moderator who will ignore sex. Ignore emails. Ignore polls. And just ask substantive questions. And then DEMAND substantive answers.

There was some of that in the first two shows, but hardly enough to learn anything about what the candidates actually would do. This is especially true for Donald Trump. A man who specializes  in used-car-salesman assurances and generalities rather than hard facts.

So, let’s have a moderator who asks , then demands straight answers. And one who factchecks and calls out the candidates when they are simply wrong about the facts.

Try these on for size:

What would you do to  try to bring jobs back to the US? What kinds of jobs would you try to help create? What is the proper role of the federal government is helping create those jobs?

What is your overall  tax policy. What should the rates be for various income levels? Do those rates generate the needed revenues to pay for the increases in spending you are calling for?

What are some areas in which you would hope to increase spending and decrease spending? By how much? Why are you focusing on those areas?

In terms of foreign affairs, what should the US role be in the Middle East? In regards to Russia? In regards to nuclear proliferation? In regards to the Palestinian – Israeli problem? In regards to the refugee situation in Syria?

What is your approach to illegal immigration? What, specifically do you see as the problem and what, specifically do you see as a solution?

As you know the President can do nothing without a Congress that is willing to compromise. What makes you think you can get Congress to work with you? To what extent are you willing to compromise to reach agreements?

What is the proper role of the Supreme Court? What kind of justices would you appoint? To what extent would you depend on the American Bar Association and other legal groups for vetting? Is there a litmus test for your judges? What is it?

So, will the moderator ask questions and hold the candidates to answers? Will he push them for specifics on policy?

Chris Wallace of Fox News. Fair and Balanced? Will he direct the candidates to policy and substance or focus on trivialities?

I am still waiting for the first debate.

 

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Filed under Conservatives, debates, Democrat, Elections, GOP, government, Hillary, Immigration, liberals, Politics, POTUS, president, Republicans, Supreme Court, Taxes, Trump, United States, US

Hillary’s Hidden Emails

Much has been made of Hillary Clinton’s emails. I, myself , cannot think of a single reason why the Secretary of State would keep these private. It’s not like she ever communicates on any sensitive matters with foreign governments. Or might have personal thoughts.
Using my expertise in computer hacking I was able to locate and save a handful of Secretary Clinton’s deleted emails. I don’t know what the GOP expected to find, but WOW, these are radioactive! Remember, you read them here first, before they made it to the Drudge Report or Fox News!

Fr: HilClin to: Bubba
Bill. I am going to be late for dinner again. Please don’t order another take out from Gary’s Greaseburger. You know it makes you fart all night. On second thought, just pull out the sleep sofa. I almost forgot, some girl named Monica called again.

Fr: HilClin to: Barack1
Mr Prez. I ordered your good friend , the ambassador , to be killed by the Muslim Brotherhood in Benghazi as you requested. I still don’t see your end game in all this. Anyway, I am sure the dopes in the GOP will never figure out that I am a secret Muslim myself. ALLAH AKBAR

fr: HilClin to: ChelseaGirl
Be honest. Did that dress make me look fat? Too much cleavage? Not enough? Because Michelle1 was looking at me like “What’s that all about”. Sometimes I hate that b…. b….. Also, no, I cannot babysit next week. I am going to be busy deleting emails. LOL

Fr: HilClin to: StarrLoser
Hiya Ken. Just another email to RUB IT IN. You never could pin that Vince Foster caper on me, could you? And you KNOW I procured whores for Bubba all the time but you couldn’t prove that either. And Whitewater? LOSER ! NYA NYA

Fr: HilClin to: ISIS
Keep up the good work, fellas. I hate America just like you do. Off with their heads. ( I’d love to send you Bonehead Boehner LOL just kidding… he is the best thing I have going for me)

Fr: HilClin to: Sideshow Sarah
You go girlfriend. Keep saying those stupid things to make people think the entire GOP is a bunch of morons. So glad JohnMcOLD picked you. See you on the next moose hunt. Go girl! BFF

Fr: HilClin to: Wall Street
Open those wallets boys, I’m a coming soon. You KNOW no one can beat me. So you better join me. Get in on the ground floor !

Fr: HilClin to: ElizaWarren
Don’t even think about it. Really. Don’t think about it. I leave you with two words: Vince Foster. Don’t even think about it.

Fr: HilClin to: Email Server
When I delete these emails I should back up FIRST, right?

The cat is out of the bag. The jig is up. The GOP finally has the evidence they need to get Hillary.
Next step: Representative Gowdy is planning to subpoena Malia’s Iphone. Hey, you never know!

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Filed under Congress, Foreign policy, government, Islam, obama, Politics, Republicans, Senate, tea party