The Strange Case of Oleg Bullshitsikov

I was called last week by one of my Russian friends who lives in Siberia. His name is Oleg Bullshitsikov and he resides in the village of Nunsensitova located deep in the taiga.

For those of you who slept through your 9th grade Social Studies class the “taiga” is the vast forestland of eastern Russia. It stretches for 5,800 kilometers across Russia. It is the largest forest in the world, the single largest biome on the face of the Earth. It’s really, really big.

Now, I haven’t heard from Oleg since his failed attempt in 2013 to host the Russian version of Miss Wild Forest in Siberia. He was out bid by 13 rubles by Donald Trump who now holds the rights in Russia to Miss Taiga, Miss Tundra and Little Miss Putin beauty contests. But that is a different story.

Oleg was fuming. He was pissed off . He was as confused as a Trump supporter in a third grade science class. . He was insulted. I recorded his call to me. Here it is, word for word.

Me: Oleg, what the weather like , comrade?

Oleg:  Gloomy. Gloomy. Gloomy. This is Russia. Always gloomy. But especially gloomy for me.

Me: What is the problem, Oleg? Why so sad?

Oleg: Sad , yes. And mad, yes. Both sad and mad.

Me: So, talk to me , my friend. What is wrong?

Oleg: Let me give you some names. Then I will tell you. Here some some names. Sergey Kislyak. Russians “diplomat”. Big ties to Trump and the GOP. Gazprom. Energy company with ties to Tillerson. Igor Sechkin, president of Russian owned energy company, Rosneft. All have direct ties to Donald Trump. Direct ties. No middle man.

Me: So, what is the problem with that?

Oleg: Wait, I am not done. There is more. RIT, Russian propaganda station. GRU, Russian intelligence agency. Both connected to Mike Flynn. Also connected to Carter Page. Also connected to Julian Assange and Wikileaks. Leaked anti-Clinton emails.  Another connection to Trump.

Me: So, what is your point, Oleg?

Oleg: Wait. Wait. I am not done. Dmitry Firtash, Ukrainian oligarch. Victor Yanukovych, former Ukrainian president. Oleg Deripaska, Ukrainian oligarch. Konsatntin Kilimnik, Ukrainian associated with the Russian GRU. All connected to Manafort. Manafort was Trump’s campaign chairman. Another connection to Trump.

Me: Yes, well, seems to be a few connections with oligarchs and Russians and Trump. But, what is your point?

Oleg: Wait. Wait. I am not done. Consider this. Aras Agalarov, builds lots of building in Russia for Putin. Sergei Millian, head of Russian chamber of commerce. Alfa Bank, biggest private  bank in Russia. Fedor Emelianenko, a big star in Russia. All of these guys are friends of Putin and have done business with Trump. Lots of Russian connections to Trump for many years.

Me: OK, so, I still don’t see why you are so upset, Oleg. What is the problem?

Oleg: Wait. Wait, my friend. I am not done. Fabian Baussart and Randa Kassis, who wanted to give Putin the Nobel Peace Prize for his peaceful work in Syria. Roman and Dasha Abramovich, oligarchs and friends of Vladimir Putin. All have ties to Donald Trump Junior or Ivanka Trump. So many Russian connections to the Trump family businesses. So many.

Me: Still don’t see where you are going with this, Oleg.

Oleg: Wait. There is more. Yevgeniy Prigozhin, Mikhail Bystrov, Mikhail Burchik, Aleksandra, Kirylova, Anna Bogecheva, Sergey Polozov, Maria Bovda, Robert Bovda, Jay Aslanov, Vadim Podkopaev, Gleb Vasilchencko, Irina Kaverzina, Vladimir Venkov. All these Russians indicted by the US government. Why? For helping Donald Trump win the election.  You think they did this for free? For nothing. We are Russians. We do nothing for nothing.

Me: OK. So, Oleg, why so angry?

Oleg: Why so angry? Where is my cut? Why was I not allowed in on this scheme? What did I do to deserve this? Am I the only man in Russia who is not on the payroll of Trump? Outrageous. Despicable! Un-Russian. I am just a poor Russian who could use a few more rubles. Donald. Do you hear me? I have some tundra near the North Pole I can sell you you real cheap? Donald, help me. I am for sale!

Me: OK , Oleg. Sorry you are out of the Trump loop. Hang in there. 2020 is not that far away and I am sure there will be plenty of new opportunities coming your way.

Oleg: Farewell my friend. Gloomy. So gloomy. Always gloomy in Mother Russia. Next time you see Michael Cohen please mention my name. OK , comrade?

 

https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/03/connections-trump-putin-russia-ties-chart-flynn-page-manafort-sessions-214868

 

https://www.scpr.org/news/2018/02/16/80839/13-russian-nationals-charged-in-mueller-investigat/

Trump Dictionary…E is for

 

Election.  I won the election. Fair and square. Biggest total vote in US history. Most electoral votes ever. Amazing. Wow.

Election Fraud. Cooked Hillary had election fraud. Over 20 million illegals voted for Hillary. Fake news won’t cover election fraud.  My election fraud panel will prove it….What? They didn’t find election fraud? They disbanded? Fake election fraud panel.

Energy. Coal. Best energy out there. Amazing. And oil. No limit to oil. So much it will last a billion billion years. Believe me, that’s a long time. We need more drilling for energy. the best drilling.

Enormous. Bigly. A  lot. A whole bunch. Like “I have a enormous buildings.”

Erdogan. Big election. People love him. He won. Great leader. Strong leader. Like Putin. I like him. Locked up his opponents. Good job. Lock them up!

Evidence. Fake. Fake. Fake. No evidence of collusion. Mueller probe is fake. Donnie Junior did nothing wrong. I know. I was there. Putin and me and Russia did nothing wrong. I know. I was there. Terrible what the fake FBI did to Cohen. Great man. No evidence. Maybe a pardon?

Evolution. Fake . Do I look like I came from a orangutan?

(Add your own words below).

Trump Bait and Switch Part 3

Previous Trump Bait and Switches.

(https://josephurban.wordpress.com/2016/11/12/trump-bait-and-switch-part-1/)

(https://josephurban.wordpress.com/2016/11/15/trump-bait-and-switch-part-2/)

Donald Trump was clear. He was precise. His Trump University was fantastic. People LOVED it. It was legal. It was a real university, not a scam. Those people who were suing him were losers.  He has NEVER settled out of court with folks who try to sue him.

He assured his true believers that he was a successful, honest businessman. And as a billionaire successful honest businessman he would uphold the reputation of Trump University in court. He would win the case in court and be vindicated.

“It would be easy for me to settle the case, it’s a simple civil case,” he continued. “Probably I should, but I don’t want to because I give them a great soundbite, but I don’t settle cases. I don’t get sued because I don’t settle cases, I win in court.”

http://www.newsmax.com/Headline/Trump-University-Lawsuit-Settle/2016/03/03/id/717221/

That was the BAIT. Honesty. Integrity. Never settle a “phony” lawsuit.

After the election…comes the SWITCH.

For $25,000,000 Mr Trump agrees that his university was a scam. He settles out of court. Rather go through a high profile trial where all of his “university’s” practices would be exposed, he decided to settle. His “university” cannot stand the public scrutiny.

Rather than stand up for “integrity” and demonstrate to the American people that his university was a great and glorious and HONEST success, he has capitulated and decided that the facts and evidence were better left unheard and unseen.

Was there anything to the case to begin with? From one of his own employees:

“Schnackenberg, who worked in Trump’s office at 40 Wall Street, testified that “while Trump University claimed it wanted to help consumers make money in real estate, in fact Trump University was only interested in selling every person the most expensive seminars they possibly could.” The affidavit concludes, “Based upon my personal experience and employment, I believe that Trump University was a fraudulent scheme, and that it preyed upon the elderly and uneducated to separate them from their money.”

http://www.newyorker.com/news/john-cassidy/trump-university-its-worse-than-you-think

Of course, Trump will  continue to deny any wrongdoing, but the settlement speaks for itself. 6,000 plaintiffs. All of them are wrong. Only the Donald is right. Yet this man of great integrity refuses to clear his name in court.

Lest any of Trump’s minions suggest that this lawsuit was all about “getting” Trump because he was the GOP nominee, let me remind you. The lawsuit goes back 6 years, long before Trump was given the nomination by the GOP. So that dog won’t hunt. He was already being charged in NY State for running a fraudulent university.  (The case was dropped in Florida after he contributed $25,000 to the Florida Attorney General, now on Trump’s transition team . An amazing coincidence)

“Today’s $25 million settlement agreement is a stunning reversal by Donald Trump and a major victory for the over 6,000 victims of his fraudulent university,” Schneiderman said in a statement. “I am pleased that under the terms of this settlement, every victim will receive restitution and that Donald Trump will pay up to $1 million in penalties to the State of New York for violating state education laws. The victims of Trump University have waited years for today’s result and I am pleased that their patience — and persistence — will be rewarded by this $25 million settlement.”

So we have Mr Trump setting out the BAIT… great businessman …integrity …honesty … and the SWITCH…

Oops, I guess I’ll pay the $25,000,000 rather than go to trial.

Do you mean he lied to us?

(I welcome likes, positive and negative comments. No vulgarity please)

 

I LOVE the IRS

It is April 16. Tax day has come and gone. I can finally admit it. I am a Revenuephiliac. I love the IRS.

I fear this admission will rain down anger upon my being. I will be hated more than Gandhi at an NRA meeting. Vilified more than Al Sharpton at a gathering of the White Aryan Nation. Be more harshly treated than Sarah Palin at a MENSA Convention.

But I confess. I love the IRS. Very Un-American, I know. But that’s the way I am. And here’s why.

The IRS is under attack. And has been for many years. The money budgeted for enforcement has been declining. Since 2002 the IRS budget has actually declined by 17%. Fewer agents means that the chances of getting audited are less than 1% for most folks, about 20% for millionaires and less than 1% for businesses. Some politicians, like Ted Cruz, have publicly stated they want to do away with the IRS completely. So, as a champion of the underdog, I take up the banner of our tax police. Seriously. They have a banner.

As the financial support for the IRS has waned on the one hand, fraud and corruption have skyrocketed on the other. Who could of guessed ? Fewer cops, fewer arrests. The Center For Tax Justice estimates that for every dollar spent on funding the IRS the US brings in $10 dollars in revenue that would otherwise be lost. WHAT ? A federal agency that makes money ? Others estimate that with long term modernization the actual investment return is closer to $200 for each dollar spent today.  There are BILLIONS of tax dollars going uncollected each year. Over $280,000,000,000 in overdue taxes will never be collected according to an IRS study from just a few years ago. And it is getting worse.

It has been a longstanding tradition to hate taxes. It is as American as racism or homophobia, to be sure. The nation was founded by tax dodgers. The Boston Tea Party was not a protest against free speech…it was a tax protest. And probably justified. Why pay taxes to those guys across the ocean? The Whiskey Rebellion? Same thing. Except this time it was why pay taxes at all. So, we have a solid history of being tax avoiders and tax cheats. All the more reason for the IRS.

After all, the IRS is nothing more than the domestic equivalent of our military or police force. And who can hate the troops? Or the police? They uphold the law, go after lawbreakers and make sure everyone plays by the same rules.  They support the democratic process and the rule of law.  They help collect the funds necessary to keep the nation moving ahead. They are the cop on the beat. The Marine standing guard over the flag.

Of course some taxes are pre-collected. The tax on the McDonald’s counter worker and the non-unionized VW assembly line worker. The cop. The teacher. The engineer. Anyone who works for a living. These shmucks can’t cheat on their taxes, and probably wouldn’t anyway.

Who could be against the IRS ? Tax cheats? Crooks? Organized crime? Money launderers for drug cartels?

Who benefits from a weak police force ? The honest citizen or the criminal?

So, join me in this IRS lovefest. Write your congressman. Ask for more money and better enforcement of our tax laws. What better investment is there? A $10-200 return for every dollar spent. In the end, if ALL taxes are collected, won’t you and I pay less? Won’t the honest citizen get a break?

Revenuephiliacs Unite! You have nothing to lose but your friends! And you might save a few bucks as well.