Finally, An Honest Man

A friend of mine, Diogenese Lamplighter, was walking around with a big smile on his face. Which is quite unusual for him. So, being curious and always willing to throw a blanket over happiness , I had to intervene.

Me: Dio, old boy. What have you got to smile about?

Dio: Well, cranky one, I have finally reached my goal. I have found an honest man. Just one. But he is an honest man.

Me: Needless to say, Dio, I am a bit skeptical. A truly honest man?  Are you sure or have you been hitting ouzo again?

Dio: A man who tells it like it is. No bullshit. He says what he means and means what he says. Total honesty.

Me: Wow. Where did you find this guy? In a monastery or church…wait.. of course not. Hmm. In a cave somewhere far away from civilization? Where, oh, wise one, where?

Dio: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

Me: OK. Let me google map that…hmmm… hey… wait a minute, Dio, that’s the White House! You mean there is someone in the White House who is an honest man? That would be a first.

Dio: Oh yes. A completely honest man. A man who hides nothing.

Me: (kind of excited now, which doesn’t happen much) Who? Who? Jared? No way. Maybe Steve Miller? Nah, can’t be. I know, I know..it’s got to be Barron? Right?

Dio: No, my foolish, disillusioned friend, it is none other than Donald J Trump, President of the United States.

Me: Sheesh. Now I KNOW you have been not only hitting the ouzo but also soaked the grape leaves in too much white wine. Trump? Honest? Give me a break.

Dio: I will do better. I will give you my analysis. After all these years of searching for an honest man, it has only been Donald J Trump, President of the United States, who has dared to speak the truth.

Me: But… but… he is a racist, a xenophobe, a climate change denier… even some Republicans don’t like him.

Dio: Oh, but you are missing the point. For the last 40 years the Republican party has done everything it legally can to support big business. At the expense of workers. And at the expense of the small business owner. They have pretended to care about workers but oppose the minimum wage. They say they want health care but have opposed health care reforms for years. They are in court right now, trying to destroy the ACA.  As Mr Reagan said, in the eyes of the GOP the “government is the problem”. Because “government” is the only thing preventing corporations from driving out small business and keeping wages low.

Me: Well, I don’t know. Seems to me that the GOP over the last 40 years have just been advocating for following the Constitution.

Dio: Did the Constitution say corporations are “persons”? Or that voting should be suppressed?  Or that black folks should not have equal protection under the law? Or that the post office should be destroyed? Or prisons privatized?

Me: So, what is your point?

Dio: My point is that the Republican party has been a party of racism (remember the Willie Horton ad), bigotry, sexism and anti-working man and anti-small business for at least 40  years. But they pretend to be otherwise. I mean, how can you win an election if  you tell people that you’re main motivation is to screw them?  How can you win an election if you tell folks ahead of time that you are giving millionaires massive tax breaks because it is good for people making $7.25 an hour (the minimum wage)? How can you win an election by telling working people that they would be better off without government protection of their water? But Trump. He is honest.

Me: So , you are saying that Trump just says what the GOP has been afraid to say?  But that they really do support him and his racism and misogyny and general disdain for science and  working people?

Dio: DUH. Mr Trump just says out loud what the GOP has been saying, with their policies, for the last 40 years. Now, I admit, he is a bit more vulgar than many in the GOP would like, but he has given them the government they want.  Corrupt. Racist. Incompetent. Authoritarian.

Dio: I can snuff out the flame on my lamp. Finally, an honest man.

Trump Dictionary…H is for

 

Handjob. See Hope Hicks.

Haspell. Great woman. Did she torture? What’s torture. Waterboarding is not torture. She didn’t go far enough. Should have tortured the children of the terrorists. Then they would have talked, believe me.

Hate groups. So many hate groups. Democrats. All haters. FBI. Haters. Europeans. All haters. ACLU. Hate group. Me too movement filled with haters. Women love me. Black Lives Matter. Haters. Why don’t they say White Lives Matter? KKK, some are haters but many, and I mean MANY, are fine citizens. Believe me. Many fine people in the KKK. Many.

Healthcare. Wow. Fantastic health care plan. I solved the health care plan. Everyone now has more healthcare. Best healthcare. Much cheaper than Obamacare. They said I couldn’t do it. Obamacare is done. Over. My healthcare plan is the best.

Heel Spurs. Ouch. Boy they hurt. My doctor discovered my heel spurs during the Viet Nam war. I wanted to go to Nam. Had to take 5 deferments. Too bad. We would have won, believe me. If I had been there the Viet Cong would have run away. I would not have been captured like that loser McCain. McCain, what a loser. Couldn’t go. Heel spurs. All better now!

Hillary. Lock her up. Benghazi. Collusion . Sold nukes to Russia. Awful. Nasty woman. Does nasty woman things. Kicked her ass. Lock her up. Why is the FBI not locking her up. Disgraceful.

History.  I know history. Believe me. History is incredible. Just incredible. I am the best president in history. I don’t say this. But many people say it. Many people, many historians, say that Trump is the greatest president in history. Nobel Prize. Amazing president. I know lots of history, believe me.

Hope Hicks. Beautiful girl. Fantastic. Reminds me of Ivanka. Fantastic. Smart cookie. Melania didn’t like her.

Hurricane. Very bad. Lots of wind. Big wind. Trees go down. Puerto Rico had a big hurricane. I solved it. I threw towels. People loved it. Used the towels to soak up the water. They thanked me. Said I was the best president ever. Make America Great Again. No more hurricanes!

More Donuts, Please

There is an epidemic of gun violence in America. That is not even debatable. And there have been a multitude of solutions offered over time.

Most recently the President of the United States, the NRA and many members of Congress have offered the latest solution. Arm teachers. More armed guards. More guns. And more guns. And more guns.

A creative and exceptionally innovative solution to the problem of gun violence. More guns. So, I said to myself, why stop there. Maybe we can apply that same “reasoning” and “logic” to the many other problems we face. Let’s try.

Obesity is a major problem in the US. Anyone who has ever traveled to Italy or France or Spain immediately notices that there aren’t so many obese folks walking around. It could be limited to urban areas, perhaps. But, at least in my experience, folks in those countries  as a rule, seem not so chunky as Americans. I , myself, have done my patriotic duty by increasing my body mass significantly over the last 50 years or so. A proud American. A BIG proud American.

What is a reasonable solution to the health issues caused by obesity? Well, former First Lady Michelle Obama started a healthy eating program to encourage kids to develop good eating habits at a young age. She was vilified by the right wing extremists for that. Big government interfering with the proper parental role. Then Sarah Palin showed up at an elementary school with cookies for kids. She passed them out. She didn’t bother to ask parents if they wanted their kids to eat cookies or perhaps had allergy issues. The right wing applauded. More cookies. More cookies. More cookies.

So, a reasonable solution to the obesity problem is more donuts. More junk food. Less fruits and vegetables. The problem of obesity can be solved by increasing the availabilty of junk food. Yepper.

Drunk driving kills thousands of Americans each year. Currently we have DUI laws and put folks in prison for that. Take away licenses for driving drunk. But that has not solved the problem.

What we need is more and better access to booze while on the road. Every gas station should have a liquor license. Every driver should be given a free beer with a fill up. End DWI laws and impose DWS laws (Driving While Sober). Pull over anyone who is not weaving side to side at 50 MPH in a school zone. Fine em. Drink or don’t drive. The obvious solution to drunk driving is more access to alcohol by automobile operators. Yepper.

The opioid epidemic. Killing thousands every year. These opioids, many prescribed legally, have wreaked havoc on families and individuals. They have destroyed families. They are agents of death. So, what is the solution?

Easy. We need complete and total access to opioids . No prescription necessary. Over the counter. At the supermarket. The drug store. In our schools. Free opioids with every order of fries at Mc Donald’s. (Solving two problems at once)  The only way to stop the madness is total access to opioids. The more the better. Every teacher should be armed with opioids in case of an emergency. The emergency being that Billy forgot his opioids today. Yepper.

We could go on and on. But the message is clear.

The best way to solve a problem, according to our current leadership, is to make it even bigger.

Which reminds me, where are those donuts?

 

 

The Strange Case of Baby M

I met Baby M a couple weeks ago. She was approximately 2 and a half months old, but she was actually born 6 weeks prematurely.  So, she was still pretty tiny and just starting to grasp with her little fingers.

Baby M was born to two immigrant parents. Legal immigrants. One is working full time.

In the United States approximately 10% of newborns are born  prematurely. The costs associated with a preemie are pretty high. On average about $ 49,000 – $65,000, sometimes much higher depending on the services needed.

https://www.romper.com/p/heres-how-the-new-trumpcare-would-affect-premature-babies-kids-with-pre-existing-conditions-2414543

Under the ACA (Obamacare) insurers are required to cover births and babies. They cannot disregard “pre-existing conditions”. Before the ACA a pregnancy could be considered a pre-existing condition. For example, if a man changed jobs while his wife was pregnant and had to buy a new health insurance policy, his wife’s pregnancy could be considered a “pre-existing” condition. The insurer could legally avoid paying for the pregancy and birth.

In the United States, before Obamacare, it was even possible  for folks with good insurance to be stuck with big hospital bills. For example, in some hospitals the care for preemies is handled by a contracting service, not the hospital itself. So, while the health insurance company may cover the birth, it would not cover the special services needed by preemies. In some cases parents were on the hook for hundreds of thouslands of dollars. That was before the ACA.

The GP wants to repeal the ACA. Mr Trump wants to repeal Obamacare. If we repeal Obamacare we will repeal all the benefits.

The Cost of Premature Birth: For One Family, More than $2 Million

Back to Baby M. Baby M was not born in the United States. She was born in Ireland. To two immigrant parents.

All of the expenses associated with Baby M’s birth and the special care in the hospital under the care of professionals were paid for by the Irish health care system. All of them. (Remember that $49,000- $65,000 estimate).

Baby M needed a medical professional to come to her home once a week for a few weeks.  Typical for preeemies. All expenses were paid for by the Irish health care system.

Baby M will have all of her  health care expenses paid for, by the Irish health care system, up to the age of 6, except for dental. (Did I mention that neither of Baby M’s parents, nor Baby M herself, is an Irish citizen?).

Until she is 18, Baby M’s parents will receive a monthly stipend from the Irish government to help pay expenses for this new human being. This will amount to about 120 euros each month ($142.00 US). I am not sure if everyone qualifies for this or it applies only to couples where one person stays home to raise the child.

Of course, this must be paid for. The Irish do pay high taxes, by US standards. Workers who are married pay 20% of the first 42,000 euros ($ 50,000) and higher income workers pay 40% of whatever they earn above that amount.

http://irishlinks.co.uk/income-tax-ireland.htm

But, there is no income tax filing. The government just takes it all out of your pay each pay period. And there is no health insurance sign up for . No need to wade through dozens of different “plans” to try to figure out what you need.  Or go online to find a deal. When you change jobs your insurance is not impacted. So, no paperwork or research.

The case of Baby M is strange in the US. The automatic benefits she receives would be strange in the US. The idea that she gets free health care without filling out insurance forms is strange. The fact that Baby M will get a stipend to help her parents care for her is strange.

The good news for Baby M? She was born in Ireland where they seem to put their money where their mouth is. Where they put into practice a thing called “family values”. You know, that thing the GOP is always referring to. While they vote to end the ACA.