A friend of mine, Diogenese Lamplighter, was walking around with a big smile on his face. Which is quite unusual for him. So, being curious and always willing to throw a blanket over happiness , I had to intervene.
Me: Dio, old boy. What have you got to smile about?
Dio: Well, cranky one, I have finally reached my goal. I have found an honest man. Just one. But he is an honest man.
Me: Needless to say, Dio, I am a bit skeptical. A truly honest man? Are you sure or have you been hitting ouzo again?
Dio: A man who tells it like it is. No bullshit. He says what he means and means what he says. Total honesty.
Me: Wow. Where did you find this guy? In a monastery or church…wait.. of course not. Hmm. In a cave somewhere far away from civilization? Where, oh, wise one, where?
Dio: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.
Me: OK. Let me google map that…hmmm… hey… wait a minute, Dio, that’s the White House! You mean there is someone in the White House who is an honest man? That would be a first.
Dio: Oh yes. A completely honest man. A man who hides nothing.
Me: (kind of excited now, which doesn’t happen much) Who? Who? Jared? No way. Maybe Steve Miller? Nah, can’t be. I know, I know..it’s got to be Barron? Right?
Dio: No, my foolish, disillusioned friend, it is none other than Donald J Trump, President of the United States.
Me: Sheesh. Now I KNOW you have been not only hitting the ouzo but also soaked the grape leaves in too much white wine. Trump? Honest? Give me a break.
Dio: I will do better. I will give you my analysis. After all these years of searching for an honest man, it has only been Donald J Trump, President of the United States, who has dared to speak the truth.
Me: But… but… he is a racist, a xenophobe, a climate change denier… even some Republicans don’t like him.
Dio: Oh, but you are missing the point. For the last 40 years the Republican party has done everything it legally can to support big business. At the expense of workers. And at the expense of the small business owner. They have pretended to care about workers but oppose the minimum wage. They say they want health care but have opposed health care reforms for years. They are in court right now, trying to destroy the ACA. As Mr Reagan said, in the eyes of the GOP the “government is the problem”. Because “government” is the only thing preventing corporations from driving out small business and keeping wages low.
Me: Well, I don’t know. Seems to me that the GOP over the last 40 years have just been advocating for following the Constitution.
Dio: Did the Constitution say corporations are “persons”? Or that voting should be suppressed? Or that black folks should not have equal protection under the law? Or that the post office should be destroyed? Or prisons privatized?
Me: So, what is your point?
Dio: My point is that the Republican party has been a party of racism (remember the Willie Horton ad), bigotry, sexism and anti-working man and anti-small business for at least 40 years. But they pretend to be otherwise. I mean, how can you win an election if you tell people that you’re main motivation is to screw them? How can you win an election if you tell folks ahead of time that you are giving millionaires massive tax breaks because it is good for people making $7.25 an hour (the minimum wage)? How can you win an election by telling working people that they would be better off without government protection of their water? But Trump. He is honest.
Me: So , you are saying that Trump just says what the GOP has been afraid to say? But that they really do support him and his racism and misogyny and general disdain for science and working people?
Dio: DUH. Mr Trump just says out loud what the GOP has been saying, with their policies, for the last 40 years. Now, I admit, he is a bit more vulgar than many in the GOP would like, but he has given them the government they want. Corrupt. Racist. Incompetent. Authoritarian.
Dio: I can snuff out the flame on my lamp. Finally, an honest man.