Tag Archives: Trump

The New Network

Greetings from your cable TV provider. We are happy to offer you our new Platinum America Package. For only $4.99* a month we can add the Platinum America Package to your cable package. A great value, for only $4.99* a month will provide you with the following great America networks.

Here is what the only $4.99* a month will get you!

TCN… The Trump Court Network. Follow all the lawsuits filed against the greatest 45th President of the United States. Charges of tax fraud in New York. Election tampering in Georgia. Inciting the riot in DC. Rape allegations. Payoffs to former “girl friends”. Get it all here . Don’t miss a moment of the trials. The verdict is in: TCN is a winner.

GDT… Gun Deaths Today. Approximately 100 Americans are murdered each day by guns. All kinds of wonderful guns. That’s an equivalent number of deaths caused by one terror attack on 9/11, each and EVERY MONTH. Yet, most stations only cover the big ones, the mass shootings. But mass shootings are just a small part of the story. Stop ignoring the little guy. Every day, the GDT will bring you as many of murders as possible. Including our TOP TEN innocents killed. Don’t be left out. Keep up with the ongoing story of murders in America on Gun Deaths Today.

EMT… EMergency room Traumas… It’s finally here. Your one stop channel for all the traumas caused by the bullets entering the flesh. Gun deaths are only part of the picture. One of the most ignored stories in America. Every year gun related traumas cost society over $1 billion. Thousands of hospital beds are taken up by injured citizens. Yet this great story goes unreported. Keep up. Maybe your local hospital will be featured on the Trauma of the Week.

ICE… Immigrant Criminal Everyday. Get the latest on all the crimes committed by immigrants. US citizens are 2 and a half times more likely to commit violent crimes than illegal immigrants. But don’t let the evidence fool you. There is still PLENTY of criminal activity by illegal immigrants. Many don’t even have driver’s licenses!! But the ICE will keep you up to date on the latest public intoxication, shoplifting, jaywalking and other immigrant crimes. All day, every day. ! (Note: If your current package already includes Fox News this network will be redundant).

TGC… Trump Golf Championships. Follow the golfing adventures of the 45th President of the United States as he tours the championship tournaments of his own golf courses. Over the years he has won more tournaments on his own course that any golfer, living or dead. Watch as he wins title after title. The only man to ever win a golf tournament that he didn’t show up for ! Watch as his opponents’ balls mysteriously end up in sand traps after appearing to land on the green. See how his shots which seem to enter the woods are miraculously located in the center of the fairway. Don’t miss a single shot.

PSAH… Politician Sex Abuse Hotline. Open 24 hours a day. This hotline is there for you to report the latest sexual assault by your local politician. Been grabbed by the pussy lately? Kissed on the neck? Have your tits rubbed? Your ass patted? Propositioned in a public toilet? Have a child who wondered why the big man wanted to do that? Just give the hotline a call. BUT, Please be patient , as our 56 operators are always busy with another caller.

FUQ… Fantasy Unlimited with Q’Anon. Our newest, most funnest game show. Contestants vie for big prizes trying to decide which story is real and which is a Q’Anon fantasy. Jews using lasers to start the California fires? Sasquatch illegally voting in Georgia? The Clintons running a child sex trafficking ring? Is Trump really still the president? These and other fantasies are explained. Then you, the viewer, can earn prizes while voting on the best fantasies. Prizes include Viking horn hats, pink replica AR-15s and tickets to the Matt Gaetz Childrens’ Show and Tell Circus.

VST… Voter Suppression Today. Every day another state passes laws suppressing the votes. How can we keep up? Is it Georgia? Is it Arizona? Ohio? Mississippi? So many states and so little time. The VST makes it easy. Every day we bring you Republican lawmakers explaining how they are preventing blacks, students and other undesirables from voting. Keep democracy white. Watch the VST and feel good for a change. But don’t forget to bring your own water!!

GMK… Gerry the Mander for Kids. What package would be complete without a channel for the kids? Follow the hilarious exploits of that goofy guy we all love, Gerry the Salamander. He contorts himself into all kinds of weird shapes and forms as he travels from state to state helping the lawmakers draw new districts that are “just right”. This lovable cartoon character has all the answers for the kids. How do you stay in power with just a few votes? How to pack districts to make sure you win? And the kids can play along and help Gerry fix election after election. Both fun and a learning experience!

*$ 4.99 for the first month, $18.99 thereafter.

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Filed under blacks, Clinton, Conservatives, Democrats, entertainment, GOP, government, immigrants, Politics, president, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States

The End of Parody

I like to try to write parody. But lately I find myself unable to compete with “reality”. It is extremely frustrating to try to outdo the current bunch of loonies masquerading as normal folks. For example. A brief summary of what the CPAC and their loons find essential to our nation. I should note that at the first day of CPAC no one mentioned the Covid relief needed by Americans. Unemployment. War. All non-issues to the major conservative “thinkers”.

The Muppets. Evidently the Muppets are somehow central to the right wing philosophy. I recall in the past that the conservatives hated the Muppets for “indoctrinating” our children with political correctness, like diversity. But no longer. According to CPAC, the Muppets have been cancelled.

For some reason Disney, which now owns the Muppets, saw fit to issue a “warning” that some of the Muppet shows may deal with stereotyping. So, this warning , according to CPAC , means the Muppets are victims of “cancel culture”. I am sure Miss Piggy will not take this sitting down.

For sake of full disclosure, Disney put forth the same warnings on “the Aristocrats”, “Swiss Family Robinson”, “Peter Pan” and “Dumbo”.

So, this little disclaimer is one of the major issues at CPAC. I am not sure who is harmed by this disclaimer. I mean, we are talking about the Muppets. It is possible that the CPAC members don’t understand that the Muppets are not real people. The live their entire non-existent lives as colorful pieces of cloth with human hands manipulating their hands and arms and with a hand stuck up their butts. They have no brains. They have no independent motions… Oh, wait. I just figured out why the Trump supporting CPAC members find this offensive.

Then there is the strange case of Mr Potato Head. The demise of Mr Potato Head by Hasbro is, according to CPAC, another example of the skid of our society into the depths of despair. Canceling this American icon is tantamount to blowing up the sculpture of Lincoln on Mount Rushmore. The final example of political correctness gone amok. How dare the liberals, in the name of gender equality, throw spud into the fire? How dare Hasbro to make a hash out of national icon? The horror! Oh God! Au Gratin!

OK, so Hasbro did not really turn Mr Potato Head into fries. What Hasbro did was change their own logo from “MR.” Potato Head to just “Potato Head”. That’s it. A private company changed with the times. Mr Potato Head is still around, as is Mrs. Potato Head and even Baby Potato Head. Still, the major conservative political organization is outraged by this. This is a major issue !

I recall Mr Potato Head from my youth. I have always found him(?) to be strangely gender neutral. Being a curious youth and a more curious adult and a potato grower myself I have tried for years to identify the gender of Yukon Gold and Norland. To no avail. Search as I might, I have never been able to locate a penis or vagina on any spud. And believe me I have tried. Which makes me wonder. Is Mrs Potato Head simply a transvestite? A transgender veggie? Have our children been victimized for years by this liberal plot to make us immune to the realities of sexually ambiguous vegetables? At least cucumbers leave no doubt about sexual orientation.

Finally, PAC rolled out the parody of all parodies. The Golden Ass statute of their god. The Golden Trump. Complete with patriot red, white and blue panties. An icon worthy of worship. This organization devoted to personal freedom and independence bowing down to the golden icon of the golden con. The golden wheeler dealer on wheels. A false god worthy of worship by false conservatives.

At first I was certain this statue was a liberal trick. A joke meant to poke fun at the CPAC worship of the most anti-freedom former president since James Buchanan. Certainly this would exposed as an Al Franken stunt or a SNL skit. An obviously foolish jibe at the brainless, mindless followers of the Golden Khan.

But no. The golden statue is real. The complaints about the puppets are real. The outrage over the naming of a vegetable toy is real.

The end of parody. How do you top that?

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Filed under Conservatives, cpac, Cruz, gay rights, GOP, minimum wage, Neoconservative, Politics, Radicals, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States

Farewell Address, 2021

Many presidents give a farewell address when they leave office. Washington warned about entangling alliances for the young, weak republic. Eisenhower warned about the military-industrial complex, whose power we see flexed daily. Clinton outlined his accomplishments and called for national unity.

Some of Mr Trump’s advisors have been encouraging him to follow suit. He should speak to the American people about his accomplishments and thoughts about the future.

One of the last members of the administration still working at the White House happens to be a dear friend. He is the advisor to the keeper of the First Lady’s closet and information director for the chauffeur of Don Trump , Junior’s wife’s mother. (A lot of vacancies at this time require multiple posts to be filled). He is also the top speech writer for Kelly Anne Conway, Sean Hannity, Bobo the Talking Chimp and President Trump. I know, it sounds redundant.

At any rate, he leaked the Trump “Final Address to the Nation by the Best President Ever and Ever Will Be. Maybe the Final, Maybe Not.””

Here goes:

My fellow Americans, 4 years ago I promised to rid this government of experts, intelligent advisors, men and women of character and decency. And I succeeded. MAGA.

My accomplishments, which are the best accomplishments ever in the history of the world are amazing. That’s not what I say. That’s what people say. Many fine people. So many people say that. So many.

I have transformed this country from one where decency and honest disagreements can be fought on the battle ground of ideas, to one where real patriots fight on the steps of the Capitol. I won. I won. I won.

My followers have shown us what America CAN be if we follow my path. From the torch lit nights in Charlottesville filled with many fine people, to the patriots who beat to death the police officer in the Capitol. From the knee on the neck of George Floyd to the cages used to house children ripped from their parents arms. Brown children. We are now living in MY America. I love em all. Give em hell.

But enough about me. Let me talk about my accomplishments over the last 4 years.

I have packed the court with radical judges that will, for generations to come, repress the liberty of women and the communists. No president has ever made so many judges. I don’t know many of them. But Mitch handed me a list and I did my duty. I did what I was told and how does he repay me!

I promised to build a wall to keep out the brown skinned Mexicans and others. I built over 400 miles. Well, I built 40 new miles, the other 360 miles was substituting new wall for barricades that already existed. And Mexico is paying for it. I promise. We are paying these wonderful contractors now, but eventually Mexico will pay. They will. Eventually. Just like I promised.

I hired the best cabinet ever. With no regard for expertise, training or capability, I assembled a cabinet full of sycophants, liars, grifters and clowns never seen before in America. A millionaire Education secretary that knew nothing about education. Some Chinese woman married to Mitch who knew nothing about transportation. Some black guy who used to be a doctor, I put him in charge of Housing for the Negroes. (That’s why the Negroes love me). And a few of my appointees still have NOT been indicted for grifting . The BEST people. MAGA

I became good friends with Kim Jung Un and now he has promised to end his nuclear program. I love that little guy. He just added some nukes on submarines and is developing short range missiles that can hit targets in South Korea. And long range ones to target the USA. But he promised not to use them. A victory for me. Anyway, that’s Biden’s problem.

I took us out of the Climate Change Agreements and Iran nuclear deal. A couple hoaxes . Now, the evil Iranians are developing new nuclear capabilities, just as I predicted. And there is no climate change, it’s still winter in some places. I don’t see any polar bears in Florida, do you? Duh. Two more victories for me.

Now, about the economy. In my first 3 years, BEFORE the Chinese virus, my massive tax breaks to the wealthy created almost as many jobs as the Negro did in his last three years. Almost. And I leave you with the highest unemployment data since the Great Depression !! The so-called experts said it couldn’t be done, but I am the first president in modern times to leave office with fewer Americans employed than when he took office ! MAGA

I told you that fake pandemic would disappear and it has. Almost 400,000 dead Americans, and with each death another virus dies. That’s how you kill a virus. Plus, I had the virus and now it is gone! So, what’s the problem? The Chinese virus was just an attempt to make me look bad. It has disappeared from all my speeches and comments. Where is it? Where did it go? Who knows? Can’t find it.

As in regard to my good friend, Vlad Putin. We had many great meetings. People said they were the best meetings ever. Imagine that? The best ever. No one gives Vlad better meetings than me. No one. Even the Politiburo said so. I wish I could share with you the notes for those meetings. But they got lost.

So, as I leave the White House as the first president elected TWICE in a landslide I leave you with this thought. In 1923 a patriot in Bavaria named Adolph led a mob and tried to violently overthrow the government. He failed. He went to prison but was quickly pardoned. 10 years later he became the chancellor of the German republic.

So take heart. Anything is possible in politics. And keep those torches burning, it ain’t over by a long shot. MAGA

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Filed under Ben Carson, blacks, Clinton, Economy, Elections, GOP, government, Joe Biden, police brutality, Politics, POTUS, president, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States, violence

Bats in the Belfry

There was a definite scratching noise above our heads. It was in the attic, right above the bedroom. So, in February we called in a mouse and rat exterminator.

He climbed into the attic and looked around. No. No mice. No rats. We had bats. Bats in the attic.

He suggested a company that takes out bats since in NY there are laws. Only a certified person can take out bats. Bats are protected so they can’t be killed. Which is fine with me. I like bats. The two little guys who live in the barn do a great job of insect control on the summer. But bats in the house. Not so much.

So , after the covid subsided somewhat we called in the bat people. A three day job. As they explained it.

First, safely remove the bats. (As luck would have it the bats had already left, but the toxic droppings remained).

Second, remove all the bat droppings and all the insulation.

Fumigate to kill any residual bat remains.

Close up all the holes where the bats might have entered.

Replace the insulation with new insulation.

And then, voila, a bat free, toxic free attic.

We have bats in the attic of the nation. The Trump family bats. The Republican cowardly bats. Batshit crazy. Bat dangerous. And there is only one solution.

As of January 20 we will have removed the major infestation. It will be gone, hopefully never to return. But to make sure we need to do some more work. Because other bats remain.

We need to clean up the shit infested mess left by the bat family. Clean up and fumigate. Get rid of the mess. Throw it out. Take it to the dump.

We need to put down new insulation. Insulation against idiocy and alternative facts. Insulation from Fox and Newsmax. The insulation of science. A thick layer of science. The old insulation of science was stained and weakened by the bats. We need to renew.

Then we need to plug the holes. We need to close up the avenues by which batshit politicians can enter the house. Seal it up. Make it bat proof. But that depends on the voters.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have thrown out the bats. But the work is just beginning. Trump and his batshit family are still going to fly around and crawl back into the attic. His pack of batshit followers are still trying to dirty up the house. Where they can continue to do unseen damage to the house. Undermining democracy.

The bats need to be caged. Permanently. I don’t know how. But it needs to be done.

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Filed under Constitution, Elections, government, Joe Biden, Kamala HArris, Politics, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States

Pardon Me Boy, Is This the Chattanooga Choochoo

The Trump Pardon Train is running out of the White House. Get on board. Get your tickets while they last. They are going fast. First class tickets on the Pardon Express are not cheap, but worth it. Better than the old “Get Out of Jail” card in game of Monopoly.

Reserved seats on the Pardon Express have already been issued. Jared, Ivanka, Don, Junior, Melania, Rudy and so many others. Even a special golden ticket for Big Don the Con himself. More to come.

Some folks are upset that the Conman in Chief is on track to pardon his organized crime family and their friends. But. There is a BIG But. (No offense to Donald’s expanding derriere).

The Pardon Express is only valid on federal tracks. Those local trains still require a full fare. And full acceptance of the law. The New York local is on track to send Big Don the Con and his spawn to a private island . No, not another visit by Don to Jeffrey Epstein’s little rapists’ paradise. I am referring to Riker’s Island, a scenic bit of property in the middle of the Big Apple. A very nice piece of real estate.

So, let the pardons flow. We all know how this story ends.

We all know that this criminal family cannot help itself. The Pardon Train tickets are only good for “past crimes”, not future ones. Be real. Rudy and Jared and Ivanka and Don, Jr cannot help themselves. Neither can Big Don the Con. Within 2 years they will be back to their old habits. They are not going to change their basic personalities.

Wait for it. Pardon all you want. The Chattanooga Choo Choo is on track to Riker’s Island. It’s a one way ticket. And Biden will not be pardoning anyone.

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Filed under Joe Biden, NYC, Politics, Trump, United States

A Sterling Performance

Gabriel Sterling is outraged. He is the Republican commissioner of elections in Georgia and he is mad. He is angry with Donald Trump and the Republican members of the US Senate. He has had enough! Some of what he has said:

“Mr. President, you have not condemned these actions or this language. Senators, you have not condemned this language or these actions,” Sterling said, visibly angry. “This has to stop. We need you to step up, and if you’re going to take a position of leadership, show some.”

Ouch! Calling out the POTUS. Why? Well, there has been a campaign of lies and disinformation about the Georgia election. Trump has even attacked REPUBLICAN leaders in Georgia. There have been death threats against election workers. Just guys doing their job.

And Sterling is mad as hell. A performance for the ages. Angry. How dare Mr Trump attack fellow Republicans? How dare Trump not condemn calls for violence against elected Republican officials? Finally, someone stands up for decency!

A Sterling Performance.

I have no doubt that Mr Sterling is sincere in his anger. His anger about lies. About calls for violence, no matter how thinly veiled. Mad as hell. Of course, Mr Sterling has made it clear that he supports Trump and his policies. He supports the two corrupt GOP candidates for the Senate in Georgia, as well. But he is mad as hell that Trump and his supporters are attacking Republicans.

But… I wonder where Mr Sterling has been over the last 5 years?

Where was his anger at the lies told by Trump about President Obama and where he was born. Birtherism?

Where was his anger when Trump led chants of “Lock Her Up” proposing that his opponent in the 2016 election be jailed?

Where was his outrage when Trump claimed massive voter fraud in 2016 but provided not evidence?

Where was his anger when Trump targeted Muslims as enemies of the US?

Where was his anger when Mr trump complimented racists at Charlottesville as very good people?

Where was his anger when Trump called Mexicans rapists and criminals?

Where was his outrage when Trump engaged in a policy of ripping children from their parents at the border and shipping them across the country to be lost in the system?

Where was his outrage when Trump called on his supporters to “rebel” against the governor of Michigan?

Where was his anger at Mr Trump using the US government to try to force the president of Ukraine to make up false information about Joe Biden?

Where was his anger as thousands of Americans die for covid-19 while the corrupt president golfs?

And I could go on and on and on.

A Sterling performance. And typical of a political party that will accept any corruption. Any language. And lies. Anything goes.

As long as they are aimed at “the other”. As long as the targets are Democrats or liberals or blacks or Muslims.

A Sterling Performance. Of hypocrisy.

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Filed under Clinton, Congress, Conservatives, Democrats, GOP, Hillary, Islam, obama, Politics, POTUS, racism, Republicans, Trump, United States

Sister Brutalitica

I went to a Catholic elementary school. In the 1950s and 60s. Not just any school but one that was run by a group of nuns. Not just any nuns but nuns of the most traditional variety. Nuns who would have collected firewood for the fires of the Inquisition. Some may have.

The school was pretty strict. How strict was it? Well, a former guard at a Nazi death camp applied for a job as security but was rejected as being too soft. He ended up in tears after the job interview.

Of all the nuns, the one stand out was Sister Brutalitica. I don’t dare use her real name. She may have passed away by now but I am not taking any chances.

I bring this up because I watched the debate last night between Donald J Trump and Joe Biden. As I watched the constant interruptions and rudeness by the commander-in-chief I was stuck by how weak Chris Wallace was.

He was the moderator. He was in charge. The Trump and Biden campaigns had spent months pounding out the rules for the debate. Rules both sides agreed to. Wallace had one job. Ask questions and keep the debate on track.

To his credit, Wallace asked some very insightful questions. He went after the weaknesses of both candidates. He asked for specifics. But he failed miserably to control Donald. So, as was his plan, the president did everything in his power NOT to have a debate. He just wanted to insult and aggravate. Wallace was flummoxed.

So, I said to myself, what if?

What if this debate was moderated by Sister Brutalitica.

The first time Trump interrupted Biden I can see the good sister standing up and glaring. The glare of death. The glare of power. Her squinty eyes boring a hole in Trump’s thick skull. She says ‘Behave”.He shuts up.

The next time Trump interrupts Biden the good sister stands up again. This time she walks over to Trump. She stands toe to toe in front of him. She is five feet tall and still looks down on Donald. She looks him in the eyes : “Last chance”. He withers under her presence. He behaves.

The next time Trump interrupts Biden the good sister again stands up. She says not a word. Slowly and deliberately she strolls over to Donald. The entire room is silent. Anticipating. Hesitation. Beads of sweat form on Trump’s big head . Then, like a rattler waiting in the grass, she strikes.

Trump’s cheek reddens as he feels the back of the good sister’s hand. His carefully glued coiffure do springs up revealing the balding noggin. Sudden. Swift. Violent. He staggers backwards. He grasps the podium to keep his balance. Sister Brutalitica whispers quietly. “That’s it. No more”.

Trump, being who he is, continues to interrupt.

Oops. Now the nun is angry. Mad. Now, if you have never seen a mad nun consider yourself blessed by the Almighty. Cujo on steroids. Hannibal Lecter times three. Mussolini would hide. Pol Pot would slip quietly into the night.

Sister Brutalitica flies across the room. Her feet never touch the ground. A blur of black robes, dangling rosary beads and the “weapon”. The ruler. Not just any ruler. A custom made solid oak ruler. Monogrammed. Notched. A ruler never used to measure inches or feet. A ruler designed with one purpose. To bust knuckles. A wooden sword of justice. To keep the peace. To institute “law and order.” Known only as “The Ruler”.

No one knows what happened to Donald. We heard the crack of oak on skin. We sensed the knuckles breaking. We heard the cries and whimpers. We saw a tiny hand on the scruff of the neck. In a flash we saw an orange head connected to a bloated body go flying off the stage.

The debate was over.

Chris Wallace, take a lesson. Law and order, Sister Brutalitica style.

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Filed under candidate, debates, GOP, Joe Biden, Politics, Republicans, SCOTUS, Society, Trump, United States

Trump’s 9/11

Today is the anniversary of the attacks on the Twin Towers on 9/11/2001. About 3,000 Americans were killed. The perpetrators were Saudi Arabian nationals who followed the cult leader Osama bin Laden.

An American tragedy.

Imagine Mr Trump had been president instead of George Bush.

September 12, 2001, President Trump holds a press conference.

Question: . Mr President, what is your response to yesterdays’ attack?

Mr Trump: It was horrible. Terrible. Billions of dollars in property damage. And you know, now that the Towers are down, 40 Wall Street, which I happen to own is actually the tallest building in New York city.

Quetion: Well, Mr President 40 Wall Street is the 32nd tallest building, not the tallest. But, what is your response to the attack?

Mr Trump: Well, you need to look it up and stop with fake news. 40 Wall Street is now the tallest building. Trust me. I know. Trust me. The big issue is the terrible destruction. You know, that is some of the most expensive property in the world. The entire world. A lot of people don’t know that, but that part of Manhattan is very , very expensive. And the taxes. You wouldn’t believe the taxes.

Question: Mr President, what can you say to the people who have lost loved ones in the attack?

Mr Trump: First of all, this was a disaster. A very bad thing. A terror attack. Who knew? Something we never faced before. I take no responsibility. Not my fault. President Clinton left us no military. None. I have built up up military like no one ever knew. They said it couldn’t be done. No one ever spent on the military like me.

Question: But, Mr President, what do you say to those who have lost loved ones in the attack?

Trump: Well, it is very sad. A sad day. Many people died. Many were killed. Not my responsibility. It is what it is. I mean, the United States has attacked people also. So. It is what it is.

Question: Mr President, what will be the US response to this attack?

Mr Trump: Well, we are looking into this. We have some very fine people looking into this. I think the governor of New York has a role to play. This happened in New York. Also, the governor of Pennsylvania where one of the planes came down. You know, that plane crashed in Pennsylvania. That is a state near New York. Very close. So, we will help the governors respond. But this is really a state problem. Every state may look at this differently.

Question: So, you are not going to have a military response to this?

Mr Trump: Well, I am smarter than all the generals. I mean, I have the biggest brain. I took a test. I can name 5 names in a row. The doctors were amazed. They said no one ever had done that before. So, we have a beautiful military. A fantastic military. The best in the world. I rebuilt it. They said it could not be done, but I did it. Many good contracts.

Question: But, Mr President, are you going to respond to bin Laden and the Taliban?

Mr Trump: We are looking into this. Some people say it was terrorists, others say it was an inside job. Some say bin Laden, others say it was the liberals. We will have to see. I saw on the news last night that it was impossible for the planes to take down those towers. Some people say it was detonations set inside the towers. I don’t know. We will have to look into that. Maybe it was an inside job by the Democrats to make me look bad.

Question: So, you are not going to do anything?

Trup: Well, I am not going to jump up and down and scream. No. Not my style. I keep calm. Calm people down. Don’t get excited. Keep in mind, we have thousands of people killed in traffic accidents every year. Some of these radical would close the roads! But you ask what I will do. Well, first of all, I am issuing an executive order giving tax relief to all the companies that owned office space in the Twin Towers. I am also signing an order paying them from the US Treasury for any office space they rent in 40 Wall Street or the Trump Towers. Two fantastic locations. They will be very happy there, believe me. Great locations.

Question: What are your plans to visit the site?

Mr Trump: Well, as you see from the photos it is a very dirty place right now. Windy. Not good for my hair. I am going to golf at Trump National Golf Club Bedminster next week. A fabulous course. They should hold the US Open there. Fantastic course. Some say it’s the best course in the world. I don’t know, that’s what people say. If I have time it’s a short helicopter ride over the site. I plan to throw down some paper towels to help with the clean up. Very important to clean up the mess. Prime property. It will take a lot of money to build there, believe me.

Question: So, don’t you think as president you should visit and show some leadership and concern for the dead Americans?

Mr Trump: Now, that is a very NASTY question. Very nasty….

Mr Trump walks off the podium…..

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2018/09/11/trump-pointed-out-that-he-now-had-tallest-building-lower-manhattan-he-didnt/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/09/12/trumps-fuzzy-vision-sept-attacks/

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Filed under Clinton, Democrats, government, NYC, Politics, POTUS, Trump, United States

Losers and Suckers

I have a lot of losers and suckers in my family. According to my president, my commander-in-chief, the leader of the free world and all around god -on -Earth, anyone who was in the military or dies in war is a loser or a sucker.

My uncle Casey, who I never knew, was a loser. Born to an immigrant mother, Casimir Wagner was the only son in the family. In WW2 he went into the US armed forces to fight the Nazis. Being small in stature and, I am surmising, fairly smart, he was assigned top turret and engineer on a Flying Fortress.

When he was in the war the bombers were regularly attacking the industrial and military sites inside Germany. It was a war of attrition. On average about 20-25% of the bombers would not make it home. Once you strapped yourself into the bomber, you had a 1 in 4 chance of not coming back. Do the math. Still, off they flew, all the suckers.

On his fourth or fifth mission they unloaded their bombs somewhere near Berlin and headed back to England. Attacked by German fighters the plane was severely damaged. The crew bailed out. All these suckers were captured and sent to a POW camp. Except for one. One loser.

The written reports I have read from his comrades tell us that after Casimir Wagner parachuted from the burning plane, he was shot by a fighter pilot and was probably dead before he hit the ground. What a loser.

My late father-in-law , on the other hand, was a sucker. He volunteered as a pilot in WW2 before the US entered the war. He was not good enough (according to him) to fly combat, but served behind the lines flying in supplies, etc. He volunteered. To fight Nazis. Well before Pearl Harbor. But, since he survived the war, I guess he was just a sucker , and not a loser.

Why did he do that? Why did this sucker go to a foreign nation and help in the fight against fascism? Was it any of his business? In his wallet he kept a handwritten line from a poem by John Donne.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…”

My niece is married to a sucker. He has served his entire life in the Marine corps. Working his way up through the ranks. Commanding military bases in Okinawa and Germany. Still alive , so he’s no loser, just a sucker.

And his son is a bigger sucker. His son wanted to be a Marine but the doctors said,”No”. A physical condition, not likely to change, meant he could never join the corps. Instead of looking for an alternative, he would not give up. Eventually, the Marines relented and decided his condition had changed enough so he could join. Some day , maybe, he could put his life on the line for Donald J Trump. Now there’s a real sucker.

I have had other relatives in the military and my wife has cousins, distant, that can trace back to the Revolutionary War. A long history of suckers. and losers, at least according to our commander-in-chief.

I have some relatives who voted for Donald Trump in 2016 and will vote for him again in 2020. I wonder what he calls them in the privacy of the White House?

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Filed under government, nazi, Politics, president, Trump, United States

Where’s the Horse?

Kamala Harris has been chosen by Joe Biden to be his running mate in this election. Watching MSNBC , the liberal Democratic news channel, people are euphoric. She is , after all, a good, solid, intelligent choice. The obvious choice.

According to the talking heads she will only add to Biden’s upcoming victory. And beyond that, she is now in place to be the first woman president of the United States. They all agree, when Biden’s 4 years are up, he will relinquish the crown to Kamala.

She will then be elevated into the highest elective office in the land.

That is the “cart” of the current euphoric liberal Democrats. It’s in the bag. The presidency of Kamala Harris is inevitable. She’s in the cart.

Problem. Where is the horse?

In 2016 the “brain trusts” of the Hillary Clinton campaign put the cart before the horse. I recall in the last weeks of the campaign they were focusing on Arizona, a deeply red state. They wanted a big victory. And the polls  (except for the LA Times) and pundits had only one question. How big was the victory going to be? By how much would she bury Donald Trump?

(One of the members of the Clinton brain trust was Donna Brazile. The same Donna Brazile who was the campaign manager for the failed Gore presidential bid. A man who lost his home state. Brilliant strategy. The same Brazile who worked on the Mondale campaign. He lost. The same Brazile who worked on the Gephardt campaign. He lost. the same Brazile who worked on the Dukakis campaign . A man who at one point held a 55-38% lead on George Bush. He lost. The same Brazile who worked on the Jackson campaign. He lost. Do you detect a pattern here? And after Hillary lost in 2016 Brazile changed jobs. The 5 time loser was hired as an expert. She became a commentator on the Fox News network).

Back to 2016. The Democratic brain trust did not send Clinton to Michigan. They did not get out the vote. Why not? It was in the cart. They did not have her campaign late in the election in Wisconsin. No problem. In the cart. Not in Pennsylvania. We got this. No worries.  In the cart. Relax, it’s in the cart.

The brain trusts of the Hillary campaign were so sure of victory that they rented a massive hall with a “glass ceiling”. This was going to be an historic victory. The glass ceiling was going to be busted through. Smashed. The polls (except for the LA Times) were clear. And, to be sure, the American people overwhelmingly voted for Hillary. They were in the cart.

And the cart sat there. Full of hubris. The cart sat there as the votes came in. Full of the brain trusts. The cart sat there. The glass ceiling stayed intact. The cart was going nowhere.

Only one problem. Where is the horse? Who was supposed to bring the horse? What happened to the horse? We need a horse! But the brain trust had left open the barn door.

Good old Mr Ed was making a speech in Wisconsin.  Whirlaway was away eating grass in a field in Ohio. Seabiscuit was out to lunch in Michigan. Secretariat was on vacation in Moscow. Hubris doesn’t pull a cart.

So, before we anoint Kamala Harris as the 47th president of the United States, perhaps we need to put first things first. Instead of a coronation we should harness up the workhorses and make sure the votes are counted in 2020. First things first. One step at a time.

Be excited. Yes. Be confident. Yes. Be hopeful, Yes. But leave the hubris behind. Don’t ask the advice of Donna Brazile. Don’t put the cart before the horse.

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Filed under candidate, Clinton, Democrats, Elections, GOP, government, Hillary, Joe Biden, Kamala HArris, Politics, president, Republicans, Society, United States

Acceptance Speech Dilemma

Mr Trump, who has not allowed any opposition within the GOP to his nomination, has to decide where to make his acceptance speech. According to news sources has has narrowed down his choices to the White House and Gettysburg. Two of the most important sites in US history.

However, I have learned though White House sources that these are not the only two places under consideration. The White House brain trust of Donald Junior, Ivanka, Jeb the night janitor and Bobo the One Eyed chimp are looking at other options and their pros and cons. They have formed a committee to investigate the possible itinerary for the speech, the Committee to Investigate Territory Now, (Comintern). I was able to speak with the most articulate member of the Committee, Bobo just last night.

Me: Hi Bobo. So, have a banana. What can you tell me about the possible speech sites?

Bobo: Hoot..hoot…hoot. (Through our interpreter, Jane) We have good sites. Many good sites.

Me: For example, what is on your list?

(Note : For simplification the rest of Bobo’s account will eliminate his actual words or hoots. They are the words of the Interpreter. Also, for clarification, Bobo did consume 3 bunches of bananas during the process)

Bobo: First thought was Mount Rushmore. Maybe taking a jack hammer to Lincoln to make room for a carving of the best president ever. Imagine. Donald Trump making the speech below a massive carving of Donald Trump. It boggles.

Me: So, what else?

Bobo: Then we thought, well, this was Ivanka’s idea, maybe fly to China. Have a great photo op in one of Ivanka’s purse factories. Donald could be surrounded by smiling faces of happy kids . Happy because they have a 30 minute break (unpaid, of course). But Xi would not agree. So that got nixed.

Me: So, other options?

Bobo: We tossed around the idea of Florida. Anywhere in Florida. At any hospital. Donald would go into a Covid-19 ICU and spray the patients with Clorox bleach. Show some real leadership fighting the pandemic. But no hospital would give us permission. Something about the Hippocratic Oath. Guess there are a lot of hypocrites in Florida.

Me: So, that one went down the tubes. Any other possibilities?

Bobo: Donald Junior suggested a golf course. One of Trump’s own golf courses. What symbolizes a connection with the white working class better than a country club? Donald would drive out in a gold plated golf cart onto the first tee. He would be followed by Pence in a silver plated golf cart. Pence would lie down on the tee box, balance a golf ball on his nose and Donald would smack it into the fairway. Then, they would ride down to the green of the first hole, Pence always 5 lengths behind Donald. Donald would drive his cart right up to the hole, lean down and take out a golden golf ball with MAGA emblazoned on it. Then give the best speech ever. We had a minor problem when we practiced this one. Pence is still recovering at Walter Reed hospital. Thank god for Obamacare.

Me: Well, Bobo, I hate to say it, but you guys really haven’t come up with much.

Bobo: Think not? You haven’t heard our back up emergency plan.

Me: Emergency plan?

Bobo: Yep, if Donald keeps dropping in the polls. And if the Manhattan district attorney gets a hold of Trump’s tax returns. We will fly the entire family along with Roger Stone and Bill Barr to the Kremlin. Kindly ask permission for an audience with Donald’s boss. Then the Donald will drop to his knees and deliver his farewell address at the feet of Vlad. It’s the last resort, of course. But certainly an option.

Me: Well, if that happens there will be a lot of angry Americans. And even more happy ones.

Bobo: No kidding. One thing for sure. Once we land in Moscow, they will never see Air Force One again. Pass that banana over here, would ya?

 

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Filed under candidate, Democrats, Elections, GOP, government, neoconservatives, Obamacare, Politics, president, Society, Trump, United States

Finally, An Honest Man

A friend of mine, Diogenese Lamplighter, was walking around with a big smile on his face. Which is quite unusual for him. So, being curious and always willing to throw a blanket over happiness , I had to intervene.

Me: Dio, old boy. What have you got to smile about?

Dio: Well, cranky one, I have finally reached my goal. I have found an honest man. Just one. But he is an honest man.

Me: Needless to say, Dio, I am a bit skeptical. A truly honest man?  Are you sure or have you been hitting ouzo again?

Dio: A man who tells it like it is. No bullshit. He says what he means and means what he says. Total honesty.

Me: Wow. Where did you find this guy? In a monastery or church…wait.. of course not. Hmm. In a cave somewhere far away from civilization? Where, oh, wise one, where?

Dio: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

Me: OK. Let me google map that…hmmm… hey… wait a minute, Dio, that’s the White House! You mean there is someone in the White House who is an honest man? That would be a first.

Dio: Oh yes. A completely honest man. A man who hides nothing.

Me: (kind of excited now, which doesn’t happen much) Who? Who? Jared? No way. Maybe Steve Miller? Nah, can’t be. I know, I know..it’s got to be Barron? Right?

Dio: No, my foolish, disillusioned friend, it is none other than Donald J Trump, President of the United States.

Me: Sheesh. Now I KNOW you have been not only hitting the ouzo but also soaked the grape leaves in too much white wine. Trump? Honest? Give me a break.

Dio: I will do better. I will give you my analysis. After all these years of searching for an honest man, it has only been Donald J Trump, President of the United States, who has dared to speak the truth.

Me: But… but… he is a racist, a xenophobe, a climate change denier… even some Republicans don’t like him.

Dio: Oh, but you are missing the point. For the last 40 years the Republican party has done everything it legally can to support big business. At the expense of workers. And at the expense of the small business owner. They have pretended to care about workers but oppose the minimum wage. They say they want health care but have opposed health care reforms for years. They are in court right now, trying to destroy the ACA.  As Mr Reagan said, in the eyes of the GOP the “government is the problem”. Because “government” is the only thing preventing corporations from driving out small business and keeping wages low.

Me: Well, I don’t know. Seems to me that the GOP over the last 40 years have just been advocating for following the Constitution.

Dio: Did the Constitution say corporations are “persons”? Or that voting should be suppressed?  Or that black folks should not have equal protection under the law? Or that the post office should be destroyed? Or prisons privatized?

Me: So, what is your point?

Dio: My point is that the Republican party has been a party of racism (remember the Willie Horton ad), bigotry, sexism and anti-working man and anti-small business for at least 40  years. But they pretend to be otherwise. I mean, how can you win an election if  you tell people that you’re main motivation is to screw them?  How can you win an election if you tell folks ahead of time that you are giving millionaires massive tax breaks because it is good for people making $7.25 an hour (the minimum wage)? How can you win an election by telling working people that they would be better off without government protection of their water? But Trump. He is honest.

Me: So , you are saying that Trump just says what the GOP has been afraid to say?  But that they really do support him and his racism and misogyny and general disdain for science and  working people?

Dio: DUH. Mr Trump just says out loud what the GOP has been saying, with their policies, for the last 40 years. Now, I admit, he is a bit more vulgar than many in the GOP would like, but he has given them the government they want.  Corrupt. Racist. Incompetent. Authoritarian.

Dio: I can snuff out the flame on my lamp. Finally, an honest man.

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Filed under ACA, candidate, Constitution, Democrat, Elections, GOP, government, minimum wage, Politics, president, racism, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States, workers

Get the Picture?

Kodak was a major film and camera business in Rochester , New York. When I lived in Rochester Kodak was considered the dream of the crop. In 1982 Kodak employed over 60,000 people. A truly massive amount for the region. And about 100,000 worldwide.

Not only was Kodak the major employer, it was one of the best employers. If you worked at Kodak in any capacity you had a “good job”. Scientist. Technician.Inventor. Chemist. Factory worker. Engineer. It didn’t matter. Kodak took care of you.

Kodak had no union. Not needed. The pay was always good. The working conditions decent. And the bonuses! The bonuses! Every March Kodak gave out holiday bonuses. To everyone. I don’t mean $10 in an envelope bonuses.

From John Kucko Digital, a Rochester reporter:…………..    …….

“For many years, generations even, this week in March was like a national holiday for the nearly 100,000 working at Eastman Kodak across the globe back in the day. The Kodak Bonus was a day on the calendar everyone looked forward to, especially here in Rochester. Company founder George Eastman implemented the bonus in 1912 and it continued for decades. Mr. Eastman valued employee loyalty and believed in rewarding those who worked hard for him. In 1984, Kodak paid out over $254 million to some 93,000 employees throughout the company. This was money that was reinvested in Rochester as workers, in many cases, pumped the money into the local economy. Auto dealers enjoyed a major surge in business, as did most everyone else. Mr. Eastman was at the forefront of employee relations and his way of doing business was the template followed by many. If an employee had a good idea, Mr. Eastman made sure to reward them. Translation: employee morale was off the charts in those golden years. I believe the days of the Kodak Bonus began to decline in 2001 or so and the rest was history….”
 But, as happens with many companies, Kodak was sold. And the new management brought in new ideas. Mainly, selling off the assets and firing workers. Eventually declaring bankruptcy in 2012. And by  2012 the company had a Rochester workforce of 1,600 employees. A well run family owned company stripped by pirates……
So, it was very odd when Mr Trump announced he was giving the “new” Kodak a loan of more than a quarter of a billion dollars. ($ 765,000,000 to be exact) .This money is coming from the Defense Production Act. Now, you may ask why the president is giving a loan to a failed camera and film making company. Do we need more film? Of course not……
This money is not going to produce film. It is going to a “start up” company. Kodak, stripped of assets and recently driven into bankruptcy, is being given taxpayer supplied loans to start a pharmaceutical company. A drug making company. Because one thing we need is more drug making companies. And what better candidate for a drug start up than a bankrupted film company?…..
In the middle of a hurricane is the best time to start up an umbrella company. Don’t invest in companies already set up to produce new and better umbrellas. Nope. Find a company that used to make napkins. But went broke making napkins. And give them a loan to try to figure out how to make umbrellas……
There is more to the story. Kodak, which was temporarily thrown off the NY Stock Exchange is back on. And for the entire month of July Kodak stock was stable at about $2.10 a share. And trading was anywhere between 70,000-200,000 or so shares a day. But then. WHAM. On Monday (the day BEFORE Trump’s announcement) there was an unexplained jump in Kodak trading. On Friday there were 75,000 shares traded and on Thursday about 80,000 shares traded……
But on Monday, before Mr Trump’s announcement, there were 1,600,000 shares traded and the stock price went through the roof. By the time Wednesday rolled around shares had increased by over 300%. Somebody had an excellent crystal ball! Good timing!…..
So, we have a bankrupt film manufacturing company that gets a massive loan to start a drug business in the middle of a pandemic.  And somebody had the foresight to buy up a whole lot of stock…..
Get the picture?…..

 

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Filed under Debt, economics, Economy, government, jobs, Politics, POTUS, Trump, United States, workers

The Memory Genius.

I watched our commander-in-chief explain that he took a very tough mental exam last week . He passed with flying colors. He was proud. Unlike the SAT he did not pay anyone else to take this test, he took it himself.

Part of the test, besides knowing some animal shapes, was remembering words. Five words. And the Donald ACED it. He remembered 5 words. Even 5 minutes after first reading them. The doctors, according to Trump, “were very surprised”. VERY surprised.

Now, a couple years ago I took a short memory test with my doctor just to see how I was doing mentally speaking. (OK, keep quiet Dan and Jack). I did ok. I was able to remember things. My doctor was NOT surprised. So, I ask myself, why would Trump’s doctors (plural) be SURPRISED? Surprised that the president of the United States could remember 5 words.

Hmmmm. Using my many contacts in government I was able to find one of the doctors involved in the testing. Let’s call him Doctor J.

Me: Hello Dr. J. I want to ask you why you were SURPRISED that the president of the US was able to remember 5 words?

Dr. J: Not only remember 5 words, but also know the names of 3 animals. Let’s not forget that.

Me: But, wasn’t that expected?

Dr. J; Heavens no. We fully expected Mr Trump not to be able to recall anything. But for some reason his memory seems to be IMPROVING with age, instead of deteriorating. His big brain is actually remembering things better than from just 2 years ago.

Me: Well, that IS surprising. Myself, I have trouble remembering some things. And, if I recall correctly, I could remember events and other things better when I was younger. Or am I misremembering what I could remember because my memory is failing me? God, I am so confused.

Dr J: No. You are correct. Memory deteriorates in all human beings as they get older. Except ONE. Mr Trump.

Me: Well, sorry doc, but I don’t believe you. What proof do you have?

Dr J: I just use the Mueller Report. It is a good indication of the president’s memory. He was asked to submit in writing the answers to questions about specific meetings he had. About specific things he learned and when he learned them. Meetings from only about a year before. Events which he should have been able to easily recall.

Me: And?

Dr J: Well, he was unable to answer just about every memory question. For example, Mueller asked when Donald learned of the Trump Tower meeting with his campaign staff and the Russians. His answer:…”I have no recollection” and…”I do not recall”…

Me: Well, maybe that meeting slipped his mind. It happens.

Dr J: OK, except this. Here are his responses to other questions: “I have no recollection”… “I do not remember whether or not I spoke with Donald Trump, Jr.”….. ” I do not recall being aware”….  ” I have no recollection of being told….”…..   “I have no recollection of any particular conversation, when it occurred, or who the participants were….” ….”I do not recall being told…”  …”I do not recall discussing WikiLeaks with him (Roger Stone)”….. ” I do not recall any discussion of travel to Russia…”  ….”I do not remember Mr Manafort communicating to me…”…And it goes on and on.

Finally, there was a series of 12 questions about Mr Trump and Mr Flynn, Ambassador Kislyak, Eric Prince, Jared Kushner and others. For those 12 questions Mr Trump did not even give a response. So bad had his memory failed him!

Since Mr Trump was UNDER OATH and required to answer all questions to the best of his ability, you can see why we (the doctors) were SURPRISED at his cognitive awareness. Just 2 years earlier he could not remember a thing and all of a sudden he could name animals AND remember words. All the words.

We can only hope that when the man with the biggest brain finally lies in state that his family will donate the organ to science for further study. His ability to recover from such extensive memory loss is almost , dare I say, a MIRACLE.

Brain scientists would love to see what’s inside that amazing skull.

Me: Well, Dr J, I think I can say I speak for the majority of Americans when I say: Let’s hope that day comes soon.

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/07/23/trump-mental-fitness-cognitive-test-379622

https://apnews.com/98f22511be924ced895ce5c0bfedfe37

 

 

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Filed under government, impeachment, Politics, president, Psychology, Trump, United States

What’s In a Name

I admit I did not know that the US had at least 10 military bases dedicated to traitors. 10 bases paid for by taxpayers of the USA dedicated to men who fought to destroy the USA. Learn something new every day.

Part 1. The list of LOSERS:

Beauregard … he was a Confederate leader who, after the war called for equal rights for blacks. That made him unique among the former Confederates honored by forts.

Benning… he wrote a speech explaining that the reason for the secession was to preserve slavery.

Bragg… known as the worst commander on either side of the war.

Gordon… known as one of the probable founders of the KKK in Georgia.

AP Hill… suffered from VD. Demanded to be buried standing up.

Hood… spoke about the “invincibility ” of the Confederate military.

Lee… opposed giving blacks the vote after the war.

Pickett.. his charge into union lines goes down as one of the stupidest military maneuvers in US history. A charge he watched from the safety of the rear.

Polk… an ordained bishop. Injured when the massive cannon named after his wife “Lady Polk” exploded when tested.

Rucker… only major commander who managed to get captured by the enemy.

Part 2. Mr Trump objects to renaming these forts after loyal American generals and soldiers. Men and women who fought in WW2, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan. Plenty of American soldiers who covered themselves with honor fighting for the USA, not against it.

Since Mr Trump seems enamored of America’s enemies who we have defeated over the years, I suggest we rename some of the other forts to honor those who fought against the ideas of freedom for all.

Some suggestions.

Rename West Point (NY) to Fort Benedict Arnold.

Rename Fort Grant (AZ) to Fort Adolph Hitler.

Rename Fort Nathan Hale (CT) to Fort Himmler.

Rename Fort Sherman (ID) to Fort Ho Chi Minh.

Rename Fort Sheridan (IL) to Fort Putin.

Rename Fort Defiance (KS) to Fort Saddam Hussein.

Rename Fort Sullivan (ME) to Fort bin Laden.

Rename Fort McHenry (MD) to Fort Goebbels.

Rename Fort Revere (MA) to Fort Kim Jung Un

And, of course, Rename Fort Washington (NH) to Fort Donald J Trump

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Filed under african-american, civil war, confederate flag, GOP, government, heritage, nazi, Politics, Secession, slavery, Trump, United States

Trump Free Tuesdays

Do you have what the white nationalists call Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)? The ever present depression caused by having the mentally ill guy in the White House? Do you suffer daily anxiety wondering if your fellow citizens are really stupid or racist enough to vote the conman back into office?

I feel your pain. But we all need a break. My solution?

A national movement to make Tuesdays free of anything Trump.

Trump Free Tuesdays.

While Fox news drones a constant approval of the idiot other networks, like CNN and MSNBC beat a drum of disapproval. Either way Trump wins. It’s Trump. Trump. Trump. 24/7.

No matter if you think he is god’s own gift to America or a two bit conman drowning in self-pity. Matters not. He makes for “good press”. So, he wins. The old marketer’s saying: There is no such thing as bad publicity.

This constant barrage of tweets, photo ops, tough guy talk and all around bullshit will have an effect on your psyche. Time to take break.

God created the heaven, Earth, day and night, all the animals and the entire universe in 6 days. On the 7th day she realized she had unintentionally created Donald Trump. (Something to do with a slip up when creating a snake and a slug) So, even god took a break. She rested. She cried. Then rested.

So, let’s turn off Donald Trump on Tuesdays. If the news comes on and mentions his name. Mute it. Or don’t turn on the news at all. If you are on twitter, don’t tweet. If your friends post an article about him on Fakebook. Ignore it. If you see a “Trump 2020” flag flying your area (Yep, I see them) keep your eyes on the road.

Give yourself and your psyche a break. Take Tuesday off. And remember, Trump is one of god’s creations. Forgive her. We all make mistakes. When you are god you make whoppers!

Of course, nothing hurts the mentally ill guy more than being ignored. He demands to be noticed. He wants to be in your head. So, let’s take back Tuesdays and make that day Trump free. A day we can enjoy. A day to imagine what it was like BC (before conman). A day to see only the brighter side of life.

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Filed under Elections, liberals, news, Politics, president, Society, Trump, United States

Forget About It

When I taught high school, like almost all high school teachers, I needed to supplement my income. Like many teachers I volunteered to coach a variety of sports. I say “volunteered” because often the hourly wage was pretty minimal. But, still, it helped pay the bills.

One of the key ideas I tried to impart to the kids was that we all make mistakes. You will hit the rim and miss the shot. You will take a third strike instead of swinging the bat. You will commit a foul in the penalty area. You will simply do the wrong thing. Sometimes physically. Sometimes mentally.

Micheal Jordan, perhaps the best basketball player ever to walk onto a court, missed about 50% of his shots. He seemed to make the shot at the crucial time, but he missed plenty as well. He failed half the time.

I saw the major icon of soccer, the great Pele, in person in Rochester, New York in the 1970s. He was playing for the New York Cosmos. Pele had his shot stopped by the Rochester Lancers keeper on the modified penalty kick. He walked up to the keeper and shook his hand.

Bottom line. Everyone fails sometimes. The point is not the failure, but what happens next.

I tried to impress on my teams that they needed to forget, immediately forget, any mistake they had made. Forget about it. Then go on and do what you are supposed to do. Get back on track. We can analyze later. In the middle of the game is no time to feel bad or become dislodged from the task at hand.

Maria Jones (not her real name) was my best goal scorer. On Tuesday she missed a penalty kick that would have tied the match. We lost. As fate would have it, on Friday, the next match, we were again awarded a penalty kick. The team looked over to the bench. Who should take the kick? I yelled out that Maria should. She put it in the back of the net and we won the game (I think we won 2 that year). I knew her mental state. I knew that she was able to forget about it and get the job done.

Which brings us to May 25, month number 5 of the Covid-19 pandemic. A lot of people have screwed up. Made mistakes. Done the wrong thing. Governor Cuomo waited too long to institute stay at home orders. Lives were lost. Mayor DeBlasio of New York city was even slower to respond. The Trump administration was unprepared and waited way too long to close borders. And coordinate a national response.

We could go on and on and second guess what SHOULD have happened. A recent study shows that over 30,000 lives could have been saved if the USA had just acted one week earlier to shut down non-essential services. Mistakes were made. Mistakes are always made.

As Judge Judy says: Coulda, shoulda, woulda.

It matters not. What does matter is the now. What are we doing now? It’s never too late to act. The game is hardly over.

We need a national response. We need states to coordinate. We have Texas and Florida and Georgia and California all going their own way. The team, which should be working together, is breaking apart. Where is the coach?We need national, enforceable guidelines for essential and non-essential services. We need help for the 40,000,000 plus unemployed. We need testing. The lack of focus is causing us to make the same mistakes again. And again.

We need to move on. Ignore what happened in January of March or early May. Where are we now? Where do we need to go. What comes next? What’s the plan?

Mr. Trump, you missed the penalty kick. But the game is not over. Place the ball carefully on the penalty spot. Take a deep breath. You missed it last time. Forget about it. Step up and blast it into the back of the net.

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Filed under Economy, government, governor, healthcare, NYC, Politics, president, Society, Trump, United States

A Sh*thole Country

In January, 2018 Mr Trump complained about the “sh*thole countries” of Africa and the Caribbean. He didn’t like people coming from those countries. And he did not like the way those countries were being run.  Furthermore, there was no way Mr Trump was going to help these countries. They are on their own.

Now, no one really identified the characteristics of a sh*thole country. Of course they are all black, but the administration would deny that. Nothing to do with skin color, everything to do with how a country is governed.

So, in that sense what Mr Trump was really talking about was sh*thole governments.

I did some research and discovered some universally agreed on characteristics of a sh*thole country.

First, a sh*thole country has a government not elected by the people. The leaders come to power with support of a minority, usually a violent minority. And once in power they use that power to expand their power. They pack the courts so any actions they take will have a veneer of “legality”. They harass or jail or murder their political enemies. They manipulate the process so it seems democratic but actually seeks to minimize the voices of people.

Second, in a sh*thole country the leadership tends to be family-based. In other words, family members and close personal friends of the leader are placed in power. As a result, the economic interests of a small group of people become the main focus of the national government. Any person of integrity is weeded out and a chorus of sycophants sings in the choir.

Third, in a sh*thole country any crisis or potential crisis is politicized. Any crisis is the fault of the enemy. The enemy could be any opposing political groups. Different ethnic groups. Outside groups. No crisis is ever the responsibility of the ruling family. The ruling family always is able to identify the “other” and then take actions accordingly. Never at fault. And to criticize the ruling family is considered anti-patriotic.

Fourth, in a sh*thole country there are systemic failures in a number of areas. Since the wealth of the nation is controlled for the benefit of the few, it is inevitable that there will be shortages in key areas. For example, many people rely on private charity for food. Many people do not have access to quality health care or insurance. Unions are crushed or criminalized so workers cannot get good wages or benefits. In a sh*thole country working people live hand to mouth, if at all.

Fifth, in a sh*thole country there comes a time when it is laid bare. A real crisis hits. Something the government cannot control by propaganda. Something outside the ruling family’s ability to control. An invasion. A terror attack. A pandemic.

When that happens the people of the sh*thole country are left to their own devices. There is no planning or attempts to help them. The ruling family and friends blame the people themselves. In a sh*thole country the government takes no responsibility for the welfare of the people. Because the ruling family is there only to raid the treasury, not govern for the common good.

So, when Mr Trump says he will not help any sh*thole country he is telling the truth. For once. If you live in a sh*thole country you are on your own. Get used to it.

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Filed under Constitution, Economy, government, healthcare, Politics, POTUS, Society, Trump, United States

Crisis Control

In my over 30 years of teaching I worked under a number of superintendents. Some were hands on, others were aloof and undemanding. Some were pretty smart. Some were not so bright. All were political animals.

The superintendents remained superintendents by pleasing the school board. The school board, unfortunately, was elected from the community. Which means many of them had one issue. The plumbing contractor who wanted to keep and expand sports programs. The parent who had her kid in Special Education was determined to see that those programs were expanded. The used car salesman who thought teachers’ salaries were way too high.  The nurse who was determined to see better health education in the schools. The stay at home mom who bemoaned the fact that organized prayer had been banished by the courts. And once in awhile an educator someone manged his or her way onto the board.

This conglomeration of non-professionals made it fairly easy for a conman to make his way into a position of power. When an opening occurred he would swoop down with his overblown resume and slick his way into a job. School boards are pretty easy to con.

I am thinking of a conman superintendent I worked under who I shall call Georgy.  Georgy had the gift of gab. A master of the bull. An artist with an ability to speak for half an hour and say nothing. He had slimed his way into the job and proceeded to remake the school district into his personal monarchy.

He started by convincing the school board to build him a brand new headquarters overlooking the nearby lake, away from all the school buildings. At great expense. Keep in mind that this school district would fight tooth and nail every year to keep salaries down and cut corners. With about a 30% of students on free or reduced lunch programs. Not exactly a suburban school awash with funds. But you get the picture. Like I said, school boards often are not made up of the brightest bulbs in the pack. They are elected.

At any rate, what Georgy wanted (or needed to justify his existence on the Earth) were low failure rates. No child should fail. No student should fail If a student failed, that meant the teacher had failed. Sounded good to the school board.

So, how do we get students to do better Not to fail?

Lower class sizes so there will be more personal attention? More staff? More support staff? After school remediation programs? Outreach to homes with at risk students? More stringent policies for extracurricular participation? Innovative programs to meet the needs of a diverse population?

Well, those sound good, but they have one problem. They all cost money. And a school district strapped for funds, which just built an administrative castle on the lake, is not one flush with excessive dollars to spend on…well…kids..

So, Georgy’s solution was simple. Q. How do we keep kids from failing? A. Don’t give them failing grades. What could be simpler.

Georgy wanted to put into place a grading system that would not allow a teacher to give a high school student (we aren’t talking about the grade school, tykes here) no report card grade lower than a 60. No matter what the student did, or did not do.

Georgy’s philosophy was that no student should ever be in a position at the end of the school year where their grades were so bad that they could not pass. How does this work? Well, if Johnny did most of his work, tried hard and wasn’t too bright and managed a 65, he could pass. If Billy did half his work, failed most of his tests and missed one day a week he might earn a grade of say, 40. Automatically that grade should be raised to a 60 on the report card. If Maryanne skipped half the days, handed in no work and failed every test she should be awarded a 60 for those 9 weeks of work.

So, in the end, the final evaluation did not look that bad. Any student could “succeed”. On the report card.

Of course, the problem with this, to those trying to teach kids, was apparent. Foremost, without being fairly evaluated, a whole lot of kids would do nothing. And pretty soon they would catch on that doing nothing was really not so bad when it came to evaluations. Of course, the teachers’ prime goals are to help kids actually learn things. Valuable things. To do homework so they can be helped to do better. To have an accurate evaluation so we can help them truly succeed.  So, this system reinforced the opposite.

Then, when the report card went home the parent might be confused. It seems like my Maryanne is doing not too bad. I mean, for someone who skips half of her classes. Who never seems to do homework. Who never studies. I have been warning her she will do poorly. Evidently, as a parent I was wrong. She isn’t passing, but she is pretty close. A report card is assumed by the parents to accurately reflect a student’s achievement. So the parents know how their child is doing. With this policy, parents do not really know how their youngster is performing.

As an aside let me talk about Ron Page. Ron Page was the Secretary of Education from 2001-2005 under George W Bush. He got that job mainly based on his success in the Houston school district. When Page took over as superintendent of schools the Houston district was in disarray. Test scores were well below average. Even for Texas. So, just imagine. He privatized some schools, brought in charter schools, instituted a “contract” system modeled on business, gave bonuses to teachers for good test scores. The result was staggering.

The “Houston Miracle ” ensued. Test scores soared. Everyone was happy. The “No Child Left Behind” theories of the Bush administration were based on Page’s success. Everyone was happy. Almost.

There was on assistant principal in one of the Houston schools that could not figure out what was going on. Why were test scores suddenly high? The schools were not doing anything different. The student body had not changed. Attendance rates had not changed. Why the sudden magnificent test scores?

A little investigation resulted in the answer. Under the “leadership” of Superintendent Page vast numbers of students were simply prohibited from taking the tests. Teachers identified those who had little or no chance of doing well and they were opted out of testing. The students who would be failing were simply not counted. The superintendent was happy. The school board was happy. Many teachers were happy (they got bonuses based on test scores). The kids were happy. The only loser in the system was honesty. And in the long run the kids who were being deprived of an education.

Back to my Georgy. Georgy was the master at managing the educational crisis. Not the REAL crisis, but the public relation crisis. Not what was actually happening, but rather how to “message” what was happening. Managing the mess

Of course, under Georgy student achievement did not improve. Under Mr Page in Houston student achievement did not improve. They did not identify the problem as one of education, but one of messaging. The message improved.

Georgy would fit well in today’s White House. We have a real crisis. A health care crisis. It needs to be managed . It is not being managed.  The current “leadership” is attempting to manage the message, not the crisis. Manage the talk, don’t walk the walk. No bad news. I am doing a great job. It’s all there in the message. But a virus, like a good education, does not respond to a message. It responds to action.

To manage a crisis you have to recognize the crisis. To the current superintendent of the United States the crisis is not how to manage the virus. The crisis is how to manage the message. I say, just give it a 60.

 

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Filed under Education, government, Politics, Society, Trump, United States

Virus Cures a la Trump

I don’t know why I watch. But I do. It is the same reason, I suppose, folks gawk at accidents. A bit morbid. Curiosity. How bad is it?

I am referring to the “news” conferences of Mr Trump regarding the coronavirus. You know, the big Democratic hoax! My wife won’t watch him any longer but I find him fascinating.

We must face the fact that the GOP has given us the first mentally ill president. A total narcissist. The man with the biggest brain.

Well, yesterday he talked about the “immediate” cures that are available. Specifically about a drug used to control malaria. A drug used to control malaria. Malaria.

OK. Well, malaria is not caused by a virus. Or a bacteria. It is a parasite. It is a parasite that a person may get if they are bitten by a mosquito carrying the parasite. It is not transmitted by sneezing or coughing or screwing. So, it has no relationship in any way to a virus. Especially an unknown virus.

But the good news about the anti-malarial drugs is that they are safe. If you have malaria they will fight the parasite and not kill you. A plus. So, Mr Trump  considers malarial drugs a good fit to fight SARS-like virus. Hey, it could work! You never know? What have you got to lose.

As usual, the man with the biggest brain is thinking “outside” the box. In the “box” is science, technology, common sense, data, intelligent thought and “book learning”. The man outside the box rejects all that. So, I thought I would join our commander-in-chief in this time of crisis and also think outside the box. After all, you never know. So,here goes some possible coronavirus cures. Hey. You never know.

Tom’s of Maine Toothpaste Cure. Take some toothpaste (Tom’s of Maine has been found by the FDA to be safe) and stick it on the end of a pencil. Shove it up your nose until blood oozes out of a nostril. Repeat on other nostril. It’s possible that this may force the virus out of your body. Hey, you never know.

Norland Potato Cure. Buy some Norland potatoes. They are the red ones. Russets will NOT WORK for this cure. Cook 7 potatoes with 4 quarts of olive oil and dishwater. Rinse and drain. Mash the potatoes with chopstick. DO NOT USE A FORK. That is very important. Smear the potatoes between your toes and under your armpits. Let sit for 3 hours. This cure may kill any coronavirus through osmosis. You MAY be cured. Hey, you never know.

The Singing Cure. Find a copy of the words to “Jeepers, Creepers”. Standing on one foot and holding a banana in your left hand, sing the words backwards through three verses. Immediately afterwards peel the banana, eat the peel and place the fruit of the banana in a cup of boiling Ooolog Tea. That should destroy the virus. Hey, you never know.

The Smashing Cure. Put on the tightest running shorts you can find. Also, the heaviest snowboots you have in your closet . (If you have no snowboots you can substitute high heel shoes). Put 3 ice cubes in your mouth. Run as fast as you can into the nearest tree. Walk backwards 30 feet. Run as fast as you can into the same tree. Walk backwards 30 feet. Repeat until..A. the ice cubes in your mouth have melted….B. Your teeth have fallen out ..or C. You go unconscious. This cure should dislodge and expel any coronavirus in your body. Hey, you never know.

I could go on, but I won’t. The point is, cures for the coronavirus are ALL AROUND US. Just think outside the box. Use your biggest brain. Be a real leader.

 

 

 

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Filed under government, healthcare, logic, Politics, POTUS, Trump, United States

Oh Captain, My Captain

Captain Don was steadfast and strong. He was the man in charge. He was the man in control. He was given control of the Titanic and he was doing it his way. The best way.

He inherited a crew of tried and true sailors. He fired them. Then he  hired the best crew and the best mates. Well. A whole bunch of them left so he hired some more. They left. So he hired more of the best men.

And off he sailed.

One day his first mate came to him and said. “Captain, my, captain, the best captain in the world. One of our crew has spotted an iceberg. On a collision course with the Titanic”

Captain Don replied. “Fake news. A hoax. There is no iceberg. Stay the course.”

A few hours later, the same mate came to Captain Don. ” Captain, my captain. The captain with the biggest brain in the world. The iceberg is closer now and we still have time to steer the ship to a different course. See, look to the north, you can see it in the distance.”

Captain Don peers to the north. His gaze is steady. His jaw juts out in defiance.

Captain Don speaks. ” That is no iceberg. It is an ice cube. See how tiny it is? How foolish you are. A hoax. Fake news. Such a tiny ice cube can do us no harm. Stay the course.”

A few hours later, the iceberg looms closer and closer.

The first mate. “Captain, my captain. The smartest, bravest captain  with the biggest brain. And best brain. The iceberg is going to hit us. We can not get out of the way. What should we do?”

Captain Don. ” Well, why didn’t we see the iceberg sooner? Where was the man in the crow’s nest. He must have been one of Barry’s men. A member of the Deep state. Out to get me.”

First mate. ” Oh captain, my captain. The sexiest, smartest most brilliant captain in the world. Actually it was your budget cuts that eliminated the man in the crow’s nest. The early warning system we used to have. What should we do?”

Captain Don. ” Put everyone in lifeboats. Time to evacuate.”

First mate. “We only have 20 lifeboats for 20,000 people. What shall we do?”

Captain Don. “What? Why so few boats. The former captain Barry refused to buy more boats? It is Barry’s fault. Damn him. Well, put me in a boat and find my friends. Get them in boats.”

First mate. “Captain my captain. The truth is that Captain Barry left you with plenty of boats. Actually  it was you who sold the lifeboats, cheap, to your friends in the boating industry. We had enough lifeboats. No longer.”

Captain Don. ” Lies. All lies. Fake news. Fake iceberg. I take no responsibility. Not my fault. Not my fault. Where is my lifeboat? I’m out of here. You’re in charge”

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Filed under government, gun control, Politics, POTUS, Society, Trump, United States

The Roller Coaster

It looks like the next election will be a choice among 3 old white guys. But 3 old white guys with significantly different views of the role of government in our lives. WHAT? You mean all old white guys are not the same? Who knew.

This race got me thinking. Always a problem. Thinking about roller coasters.

Roller coasters have always made me sick. Literally. I haven’t been riding on one in probably 30 years. They make me nauseous. Some people like them. Thrilling. Up and down. And up. And down. And up. Not for me. Give me Mr Toad’s wild ride in the teacup.

We have been on a roller coaster for 4  years. Many people wanted the roller coaster. They wanted to shake us up. Make some of us sick. Excite us. So we have seen what 4 years of riding a roller coaster brings.

Now, some folks still like the roller coaster. Four years are not enough. They want four more years of the up and down. They want to ride it forever. The swirls and twirls and thrills as the scenery screams by. And the folks on the roller coaster are also screaming. Some with joy. Others in horror.It’s a blast!

Why did I get on this thing? What was I thinking? Let me off!

So, now we have three choices.

We can stay on the roller coaster for 4 more years. Up and down. Vomiting. Thrilled to death. Wheeeee!

There are some folks want to get off one ride and jump right on another one. We can get off the roller coaster  and look around. Hey , look at that. It’s a Tilt-a-Whirl. Not as bad as the roller coaster. Tilting up and down and round and round. Tilting. Looks like fun. OK, maybe it’s still a bit unsettling, but at least it’s not the roller coaster. I will probably be okay.

Then there are folks like me. Still staggering from the roller coaster. Waiting for my stomach to settle down. Looking for a bench. A nice bench by the pond. Stop and sit. Have a hamburger. Sip a Coca-Cola. Relax.

We have a choice. Ride the roller coaster for 4 more years? Try out the Tilt-a-Whirl for 4 years and see how that settles the stomach? Or take a long rest? Take a break. Take  a breath.

As for me, I don’t need any more amusement park  rides. I am not amused.

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Filed under Bernie Sanders, debates, Elections, government, Joe Biden, Politics, Society, Trump, United States

The Not So Great Debate

Again I watched and listened to the Democratic debate. Well, hardly a debate. A few years ago I read the transcripts of the Lincoln-Douglass debates. The format was this.

Lincoln spoke for an hour. Douglass spoke for an hour and a half. Lincoln spoke for half an hour. Each side was given 90 minutes to talk. Explain. Extrapolate.

No moderators. That was a debate.

Last night I watched something that was called a debate, but was actually one of a series of  made for TV soundbite shows. OK. OK. With 6 candidates you can’t have a real debate, but that does not necessitate the ridiculous system now controlled by networks and moderators.

The discussion , which should elicit in depth, comprehensive explanations of views and policies, instead only encouraged “gotcha ” questions and hostile statements. I ask: What did anyone LEARN about the positions of the candidates? Not much, if anything.

Before I honor you with my solutions, let us re-enact the discussion.

Start Moderator # 1 (because, to be honest, the discussion is more about the “cleverness” of the moderators than the substance of the candidates): Mayor Bloomberg. You run a 60 billion dollar empire and have been around since Jesus walked the Earth. We now have 3 anonymous women who say you told a dirty joke in 1986. Since we now know you are a misogynistic, racist pig who rapes little girls, why are you even on the stage, and not in prison? You have 75 seconds to respond.

Star Moderator # 2: Senator Sanders. You are a communist through and through. You want to give everyone a communist health care plan that will destroy the very fabric of American society. You also had at least one heart attack. So, do you really think America is ready to elect a sickly, disgusting Mao-loving communist who will take away all their rights? You have 75 seconds to discuss all your plans and explain why you love Stalin.

Star Moderator # 3: Vice President Biden. You suck. We all know you are too old and you suck. And what about your son? You are trying to ride Obama’s coattails. Because you are old, a crook and suck, why should people vote for you? Hell, why am I even talking to you, you loser. You have 75 seconds to explain all of your work as vice president.

Star Moderator # 4: Senator Klobuchar. When you were a prosecutor in Minnesota you put black people in prison for crimes. Also, you cannot name the youngest daughter of the Vice President of Guatemala. In view of this history of racism and anti-Latino sentiment, please answer the following. Why are you a racist and why do you hate Latinos and why should any person of color even consider voting for such an obvious hater? Please limit your response to 75 seconds, you racist bitch.

Star Moderator # 5: Senator Warren. You are behind in the polls. You want to do better. You have these very hard to understand plans that no one cares about because they aren’t going to happen. You have been very unladylike today . Do you think being a strident , screeching female who thinks she is so smart will make men turn off to your campaign. I mean, what man wants to hear you talk like you know more than they do? Have you always turned off men or is this a new phenomenon? You have only 60 seconds because you talk too much.

Star Moderator # 6: Mayor Pete. You little cutie pie. Are you insane? You are gay. You are young. You are a smarty pants. You were in the military but no one cares about that. What the hell makes you think you have any right to run for president? I don’t care what your views are. Bottom line. Other than your “husband” and others in “that community” do you really think anyone else is ever going to vote for you? Please answer in 75 seconds and don’t play the lame “military” and “gay” cards.

As the discussion comes to a close the 6 moderators all congratulate each other on their insightful questioning.

Questions not asked by the insightful moderators. Questions which might have elicited intelligent , thoughtful responses.

Explain your health care plan, what it would cost and how you would pay for it.

Mr Trump has turned the Constitution upside down. Explain two ways you would bring us back to be a nation with respect for the law.

Immigration reform has been talked about for years. What is your plan for protecting the border, dealing with the Dreamers and developing a comprehensive plan for legal immigration?

To what extent should we be involved, with troops on the ground, in the Middle East? Explain.

Of course, questions like this cannot be answered in 75 seconds.

So, my suggestions.

1.Give each candidate 4-5 minutes to answer any question, uninterrupted.

2.Ask the exact same question to every candidate.

3. Do not allow candidates to ask each other questions except in the context of their own allotted time.

4. Make sure each candidate gets the same amount of time as the others.

Now these rules would mean that the moderators would no longer be the stars of the show. They would have to bury their egos. Actually, you would need only one moderator who could just ask the questions and keep time.

This would change the entire feel of the discussion. It would have depth. It would be BORING. Nothing but facts, ideas, plans and explanations. So people who wanted more information about these candidates could get that information.

But then, that would be bad TV.

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Filed under debates, government, Politics, Society

Playing By The Rules

I coached baseball, basketball , softball and soccer for many years. Mostly at the high school level.  Every sport has a rule book. Very precise rules. Except soccer, which has more flexible “laws”. At any rate, the rules are written and you play by the rules.

That is what I tried to impress on my players. Know the rules. Play by the rules. If you break the rules, take the penalty. That is just sports.

But I also emphasized to them that there are actually two sets of rules. There are the rule book rules and then there are the actual rules. The second set of rules is more important. That set of rules changes for every contest. That second set of rules depends on the umpire or referee. The men and women who are interpreting the rules. Making decisions. Making the calls.

A good player will try to figure out how the ref is calling the game. If the umpire is calling low pitches “strikes” and high pitches “balls”, then your pitcher should keep it low. If the soccer ref is allowing a few elbows to fly now and then and some pushing, well, loosen up those elbows. If the basketball ref is calling every ticky-tack foul, stop ticky-tacking. In other words, play the rules, but also play the ref.

I recall umpiring a middle school baseball game between two competing schools. Now, middle school pitchers  can often not be too accurate. And middle school age coaches want their players to hit the ball and play the game, not sit around and wait for walks. So, before the game I told both coaches that today was going to be a big strike zone. If the ball was near the plate its going to be a strike. Better be swinging the bat. They both concurred. Both were happy. As long as the rules were evenly enforced.

Which brings me to Mike Bloomberg.

Many Democrats are angry and frustrated that this billionaire has been spending like a drunken sailor on leave . (No offense, Dan). He is a real self-made billionaire  (unlike the IMPOTUS) and has plenty to spend. Some say he is worth $60 billion. The 14th richest man in the world.

Some candidates are suggesting he is trying to buy the Democratic nomination . (DUH). They say he has an unfair advantage (DUH. DUH). They say they don’t want a billionaire stealing the nomination. Can’t say that I blame them. After all, they have been working for years to get this job and he just plunks down a pile of cash and he is in the race.

Well, we will know more about Bloomberg once he gets on stage and has to answer some questions. Another rich guy, Tom Steyer, got on the stage and, in my opinion, stunk it up. He showed that having money does not translate into being astute or knowledgeable. We will see how Bloomberg does.

But no matter how he does, the Dems had better understand the rules of the game. Not as they WANT the rules to be, but what the real rules are. And in the US elections money talks. And big money talks big. Money is part of the rules.

No matter what “laws” exist concerning campaign funding, the bottom line is that the Federal Election commission has virtually no enforcement ability. Imagine a football ref who could call a foul but could not enforce a penalty. That is the system under which we live.

Also, Citizens United has made the case that money equals speech. Logically, the more money you have, the more speech you have. So Bloomberg has the biggest mouth in America. Trump is the biggest gasbag, for sure. But Trump’s “wealth” is dwarfed by Mike’s. Minor league.

Back to the rules. The GOP has made it clear that they want no rules. Russian interference? No problem. Ukraine extortion? OK with them. Unregulated cash from (fill in the blanks) is okey-dokey. Those are the REAL rules.

The Trump campaign will flood the TV and internet and Facebook and Twitter with misinformation. Lies. Vulgarity. Coded messages (or not coded) supporting racism, misogyny and xenophobia. The Trump hate machine will be in full force. The gloves are off.

So, the Dems better bring some brass knuckles to the fight. Bloomberg can flood the media, as he has been doing. He has the money and personality to play by the real rules. Nothing to be scared of. He’s a wealthy billionaire plutocrat, but he’s OUR plutocrat. Embrace him. Welcome him. We need him.

We may not like these rules. We may not want these rules. But we better play by these rules. The real rules. Otherwise it will be four or MORE years of attacks on the separation of powers. If we don’t win this election it may very well be the LAST election.  If that’s the case we may see the end of democracy. No matter what the written rules say.

So, don’t be afraid of Bloomberg. For too long the Dems have been playing it by the book. Time to throw the book out the window and play to win. Play by the rules.

 

 

 

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Filed under candidate, Democrats, Elections, GOP, government, Politics, Society, Trump

The Ten New Things

As the three people who read my blog know, I am pretty good at predicting things. I predicted that Jeb Bush would win the presidency in 2016, that Medicare for all would be enacted and that all Republican gun owners would turn in their weapons as a show of support for children murdered every day in America. OK, so maybe no so good. HOWEVER, here is part of my end of the year prediction from December , 2017, when the GOP controlled both houses…

“Finally. Congress votes itself a 50% pay raise for a “job well done”. The legislative branch passed a total of three bills. They were: 1. “The Amazing Trump is the Best President Ever” bill awarding the Trump Medal of MAGA to the best person in America. This year’s recipient? Donald Trump. 2. “The FBI Traitor” law. Which labels all members of the FBI, former and current, official “enemies of the people” and subject to immediate permanent detention and prosecution for doing “bad stuff”. Mueller is the first to be perp walked. 3. “Congressional Vacation Act” which allows Congress to take a vacation for a period including January 2 through December 30, with pay and expenses for fact finding travel.  Mr Trump signed all three bills and praised Congress for their services… which will no longer be necessary.”

I was watching the pundits on Morning Joe this morning talking about the demise of the Democratic Party because of the APP problems in counting the Iowa Democratic caucus votes. Their main theme was the incompetency of the Democratic Party. And by extension any Democratic administration. Okey Dokey.

This was similar to another Democratic government run debacle with the roll out of the Affordable Care Act. We all remember how Obama and the Dems screwed that up. Big government at its worse. Except.

Except both the ACA roll out and the Iowa caucus problems were not caused by “big government” at all. Both were major technical  problems made by private contractors, not the government. In a nation where the prevailing narrative remains that business is more efficient than government, we see the opposite. It is the private contractors that screw things up. Regularly.

Now, let’s look at really BIG government, the Social Security administration and Veterans administration. These are the government folks who send out your Social Security and Veterans benefit checks. And have been doing so for decades. Ever miss a payment? Ever have a check bounce. Ever have a failure to deliver? I rest my case.

But, back to the pundits who are already predicting the end of the Democratic Party. It is February 4, 2020. Between now and Election day there will be at least 10 new things that will once again give the pundits something new to predict. And they will be just as certain of themselves and just as wrong as they always are. As a self-made pundit, here are my 10 new things.

1. One of the Democratic candidates will be physically assaulted, by weapon or by fist. And she will punch back.

2. A major US corporation will file for bankruptcy. And be given tax dollars as compensation.

3. Kim Jung Un will announce that he has a nuclear weapon and the ability to reach the US with it. Also announces a contract for new Trump Tower in Pyongyang.

4. Donald Trump, Jr will announce the best trade deal ever with China, and the details will be forthcoming. The details never come forth.

5. A number of global warming catastrophes around the globe will prompt the UN to hold a global warming summit, which the US will refuse to support.

6. The GNP will continue to hover around 2.3% but no one knows what that means. Although 76% of the population is certain it has something to do with the Super Bowl.

7. Photos will emerge of Mike Pence leaving a room with a woman. She looks scared. So does he.

8. Israel will announce that they accept the Kushner peace plan which allows Palestinians to look at their former homes on the West Bank during Ramadan. For 2 minutes.

9. Mike Bloomberg will buy North Dakota, Mississippi and Arkansas, giving him enough votes to win the election. He complains that he has used up all his pocket change for the week.

10. Vlad Putin will make a surprise appearance at the Republican convention and will graciously accept the nomination for president by acclimation of the party. Why not eliminate the middle man? Vlad  will then appoint Ivanka Trump as his running mate.

So, those are my predictions. And after each event the pundits will all-knowingly tell us what it means. Again.

I know what you are thinking. Most of these are WAY OUT THERE and probably not going to happen. But  number 10 is just obvious.

https://josephurban.wordpress.com/2017/12/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/techonomy/2013/11/10/the-unhealthy-truth-about-obamacares-contractors/#1a8f06bf644f

 

 

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