I See Dead People

Well, I heard that dead people are voting in Nevada. I heard this on America’s finest news source, Fox News ! So, I assume it must be true. The person making this claim did not have any evidence.

But that is not the point. At least for me. Whether the actual facts of the case are real or not is irrelevant. Not only to Fox, where all evidence is irrelevant, but to me.

Here’s why.

I am impressed. I am pleasantly surprised even. Dead people voting.

We don’t know WHO they voted for, but these dead folks evidently felt it was their patriotic duty to participate. To make their voices , or teeth chatters, heard.

In a nation where only about 60% of the population usually votes it is refreshing that the dead have taken the time and effort to fill in for the lazy bastards who don’t vote.

Now, we have no videos of dead people voting, which is odd since everything that happens nowadays is posted on Youtube within 3 minutes of the event. (See the pretty kitty playing with the birdy. Oops.) But, as the Oxford trained Senator Kennedy of Louisiana has said when asked about charges about Biden made without evidence: The absence of evidence is evidence.

So, to follow Senator Kennedy, the lack of video or other evidence of dead people voting in no way changes the fact that dead people have voted. Digest that. The absence of evidence is evidence.

That being the case, we can let our imaginations construct the probably scenario of dead people voting.

Since dead people are socially responsible they would certainly maintain social distancing in the voting line. (I say socially responsible because of the massive effort to get out of their graves. Getting out of a box buried by your family under ground is not easy. Take it from me.) Plus, wearing a mask hides the fact that their faces have long since rotted away. On the plus side, since they can’t breathe they could not infect anyone else. On the minus side what could be worse than contracting the covid when you are already dead? I mean, talk about piling it on.

After waiting politely in line for hours (what is time for a dead person, no job interviews to go to?) the zombie-like voter would approach the polling place. Of course, they would need to produce proof of identity. Can you prove you are Hester Mc Gillicutty? Easy. Here is my death certificate. Signed, sealed and dated, 1875.

Filling in the ballot may be a problem. But, poll workers are nothing if not creative. A rubber band would be enough to secure the Sharpie to the bony intermediate and proximal phalanges. So, the vote is recorded. Or kind of recorded. Without eyes they may fill in the ballot a little outside the bubble. Or outside the ballot completely.

Seems as though some folks are condemning the dead for voting. Not me. What a great example of civic responsibility. What a great role model for our youngsters and the newly deceased. I mean people were beaten and died for the right to vote. The living dead showing us the way.

So, let’s not condemn the dead. Let us celebrate their patriotism. Their devotion to the nation. And, after all, their brains have atrophied to the point of extinction. So, I guess we know who they voted for after all.

How To Vote

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There is a lot of talk about the Postal service and how it may impact the election this year. That is a problem, but like every problem (well, almost every problem) there is a solution.

Is there voter suppression? Yes. Do some states make it difficult for city folks (read: African Americans) to vote by limiting polling places? Yes. Are they wheeling away mailboxes in urban areas? Yes.

But, by doing a little research into your home state and county you may find it is easier to vote than you think. Bottom line. And I will repeat this.

DON’T WAIT

And again….

DON’T WAIT.

Vote as early as possible. Do not use the mail service unless absolutely necessary. Voting early means you are not likely to face long lines and can easily social distance.

If you are voting absentee, HAND DELIVER you ballot before election day if it is legal to do so. (In NY you cannot hand deliver your absentee ballot on election day!)

You may be surprised at how many states make it very easy for you to vote. I have 2 links below, which are fairly up to date. One on voting regulations for each state, the other on EARLY VOTING for states that allow it.

Let me summarize briefly:

35 states/territories allow you to request an absentee ballot without a reason; 20 states/territories allow an absentee ballot with a reason and a few are now accepting covid-19 as a reason. One state has no absentee voting because ALL voting is by mail (Oregon).

30 states/territories have early voting in person. (Link is below) . So if you live in one of those states you can vote early and in person. Not likely to be long lines for early voting! No mail to worry about. Do it!

Almost every state (except NH and Minnesota and with some restrictions Wisconsin) allow provisional voting. That means if you are registered and get to the polling place and you are not on the rolls you have the right to cast a provisional ballot. Then, you must go to the County Board of Elections and prove your residency (usually within a couple days). So, always vote, even if they tell you you are not eligible. It is your right. Recall that in 2000 with the massive voter purge in Florida thousands of legal voters were eliminated, including a US Congresswoman ! She knew enough to demand a provisional ballot; I wonder how many did not?

21 states/territories have same day registration. This is especially good for younger voters. Just make sure you have the right ID. By the same token, the other states/territories do NOT have same day registration. For example, In Georgia you must register by October 5 to be eligible to vote. In Kansas you have until October 13th. Use the link below.

If you do request an absentee ballot can you hand deliver it instead of using the mail? That is a question you need to ask at your own local board of elections.

The two links below are very helpful for locating information for this election. They can link you to info specific to your state. Keep in mind that a few states have different rules for each county. Find out well in advance. No excuses.

Don’t let them steal another one.

https://www.usvotefoundation.org/vote/state-elections/state-voting-laws-requirements.htm

https://www.vote.org/early-voting-calendar/

The 3/5 Solution

Once again we see the shock and horror that a black man has been murdered in broad daylight by someone legally hired and empowered by the state. YAWN.

Once again we hear the calls for peace and tranquility. Calls for “law and order”. Calls for patience . The questioning of “How did we come to this?” YAWN

The US did not “come to this”. This is who we are. As a nation. Our holy and worshiped founding fathers made it clear in the Constitution. Black men and women are 3/5th of a person. It was true then, it is true now.

Article 1, section 2 … Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. 

Of course “all other persons” were the slaves. So the southern states could claim the black men, women and children were property. And then claim that those very same men , women and children must be counted as 3/5 of a person for purposes of representation in the House of Representatives.

So, at the outset of the Civil War almost 4,000,000 slaves added 2,400,000 “persons” to the total population of the slave states. Giving the slave states representation in Congress far beyond the actual number of “citizens”.

From day one black people in the United States have been considered less than “full” people. And that is the bare truth of the foundations of this nation. Like it or not.

So, when the KKK brutalized black Americans after the racists lost the Civil War, it should come as no surprise. And when Jim Crow kept blacks from getting uppity in the south, that should come as no surprise. And when black soldiers returning from WW2 were refused service at restaurants and denied the right to vote, that should come as no surprise.

What should be surprising is the strength of the myth. The myth that the US was founded on principles of freedom, democracy, blah,blah,blah. That has never been and never was the reality. It was and is “fake news”.

Now, you may say, but what about the Voting Rights Act and other Civil Rights acts? Don’t they show progress? To that I respond thusly.

If the US was founded and grew on principles of equality, why was there a need for a Voting Rights Act? Or special Civil Rights acts? Why did we need special laws for black men and women just to try to give them the same rights the rest of society enjoys? In the “land of the free” why was it necessary to write special laws giving “freedom” to citizens who should have already had it?

And, as we have seen, the Supreme Court has overturned even those laws. Since the Voting Rights Act was rescinded how many states immediately took steps to suppress and deny votes to black citizens? How many blacks were purged illegally from the voting rolls in Florida in 2000, giving the election to GW Bush? How many were purged in North Carolina and Georgia in 2016?

But the myth lives on. It is a nice myth. A comfortable myth. A myth that tries to place the suppression and murder of black Americans in a certain context. That context is this: The murder and suppression of blacks in the US is an aberration. A blip on the screen of democracy. A pimple on the otherwise perfect face of equality.

I disagree. Racism has been at the core of the American experience. The very core of the legal system. It is as old as the US Constitution and may never be erased. Racism is as American as violence. Both go hand in hand.

It is not just the south. In the north as well racism is a core value. Highways were built around cities effectively cutting off black neighborhoods from white ones. The attempt at segregation was halted by the practices of the banking industry. Schools in NY, for example, are among the most highly segregated in the nation.

So, let’s stop pretending. The 3/5 solution is still with us. Black men and women are not valued unless they can sing or bounce a basketball. Racism is not a southern phenomenon or an aberration. It is what America was founded on.

Is there a “solution”? There can be no solution when those in power do not see a problem. Or identify the problem as a “black” problem. Just another example of “uppity” Negroes not knowing their place. It has always been thus in America and I suspect may always be so.

I know if I were a black person in America I would go nowhere without being armed. I would suspect every police officer of being a potential killer. I would shoot first and ask questions later. I would know, not just claim, that my life is in danger every day. In fact, I remain amazed at the patience and willingness of most black Americans to work “within the system” when the system is so obviously corrupt. I would not have that patience.

Is there a “solution’? Not until we confront and destroy the myth. The myth of the “founding fathers” and the myth of “democracy” and the myth of “equal justice under the law”.

People die easy. A bullet . A knee to the neck. A chokehold. Myths are not so easy to kill. The 3/5 solution is on display every day.

Lies Liberals Tell, Part 4

Lies Liberal Tell, Part 4 of 7

Copyright 2017,2018,2019 Joseph Urban

Lie # 4: People Believe in Basic Fairness

Liberals tend to believe in fairness. We should treat others fairly. Justice systems should be fair and honest. Above all, elections should be fair. So the real will of the people can be expressed. So the voice of the people can be reflected in the legal  system. If systems are fair, we believe, all will eventually be right with the world. And we expect other Americans to feel the same way.

We are wrong. As the last 25 years have demonstrated, the right wing sees “fairness” as an obsolete concept. No longer part of our political life. The goal of the right wing is simple. Win. Win any election by any means necessary. Win by lying. Win by cheating. Win by suppressing votes. Win. Win. Win.

Of course, this is hardly new in American politics. It is seen most clearly in the election process. After all, the Jim Crow voting laws south of the Mason-Dixon line effectively disenfranchised American blacks for almost one hundred years. The Voting Rights Act passed in the 1960s finally  (in theory) gave blacks the same voting rights as white Americans. Basic fairness. A liberal ideal.

Then, the right wing majority on the US Supreme Court, in Shelby County vs. Holder,  gutted the Voting Rights Act. It was no longer needed. The ultra-right wing argued that  no longer did certain states intentionally seek to disenfranchise black voters. So the Court ruled. Basic fairness had been achieved. What happened next?

Two HOURS. Two HOURS after the decision was released by the SCOTUS the Texas Attorney General (now Governor) Abbott announced that a new voter ID law would go into effect immediately. Alabama followed suit. Within two months North Carolina had instituted new voter restrictions. So did Mississippi. In Florida, GOP governor Rick Scott ordered the purge from voter rolls (which failed). But Florida did move a voting center (used primarily by blacks) to a new site without access to public transportation.   South Carolina instituted new voter restrictions.

Jim Crow has returned. Fairness? Not an issue. Win by suppressing Democratic votes. Win by undermining the very concept of fair elections.

Of course, even before the gutting of voting rights there were ways to prevent  fair elections. Nothing was more clear than in the 2000 Florida election. When the governor, who happened to be the brother of a candidate for  president hired a company to purge the voting rolls. Over half of those purged were African-Americans. Who voted overwhelmingly for Democrats. And when the private company itself pointed out that , based on the state requirements, it would be purging thousands of voters who were legally entitled to vote, Governor Jeb Bush’s staff told the company to purge them anyway.  We do not know how many of these thousands of black Americans showed up at the polls and were turned away with no recourse. The election was handed to George Bush when the SCOTUS refused to allow Florida to recount its votes. It worked.

In North Carolina there was an organized effort, which succeeded, in voter fraud. A GOP candidate actually hired a man who had a history of illegal activities. He paid relatives and others to collect absentee ballots and mark  those ballots with the GOP candidate. Even after this corruption was revealed and exposed, the North Carolina GOP insists that the fraudulent election be upheld. Voter fraud is okay.

Beyond voting, liberals tend to believe the lie that the vast majority of our fellow citizens believe in fairness in the justice system. But the fact is that our justice system is not designed to produce “fair” results. It is designed to “win” cases. Whether for the state  (prosecution) or the individual (defense). Justice is not relevant. It is no accident that those who can afford to hire the best lawyers win. We see a case in Texas where a defense attorney SLEEPS during the trial, but the appeals court lets a conviction stand claiming the defendant still had “adequate representation”. (Decision finally overturned by the Fifth Circuit) .Those who can afford to stand up to the state with a competent legal team need not worry about justice.

Public defenders, with very limited budgets, seldom prevail. So, we see young adults without resources convicted of petty crimes and given criminal records while white collar criminals steal millions and walk away. Or make “restitution” and are forgiven. So, this lack of fairness has created a new money making industry, private prisons. A funneling of poor , overwhelmingly minority, Americans  from the poorest neighborhoods into the private prisons, all for profit.

Fairness, a liberal lie. Liberals still cling to the ideal, which is fine.  But we need to accept the fact that in government, in voting rights and in the court system “fairness” is a commodity in short supply. We also need to accept the fact that many of our fellow citizens think this is just fine. They do not see “fairness” as a legitimate goal of government. Win at any cost is their mantra.

 

Massive Voter Fraud

We finally have proof of the massive Democrat voter fraud in this year’s election.

As President Donald Trump stated in an interview on November 14, 2018:

“The Republicans don’t win and that’s because of potentially illegal votes,” Trump said. “When people get in line that have absolutely no right to vote and they go around in circles. Sometimes they go to their car, put on a different hat, put on a different shirt, come in and vote again. Nobody takes anything. It’s really a disgrace what’s going on.”

 

https://www.vox.com/2018/11/14/18095592/trump-voter-fraud-disguises-cars-daily-caller-interview

I live here in Trump country where Donald had massive support and the GOP still does have massive support. So I know what Donald is talking about.

When I went to vote on Tuesday I carefully observed the 6 people in line. One that stood out was 98 year old Thelma Bumbleknickers.

I watched Thelma drive up to the parking lot at the rate of 16 MPH and park across 3 spaces. Then, she took out her walker and stumbled out of the car. She looked to the right and to the left, then she walked around in a circle three or four times  trying to locate the polling place.

Finally, she meandered up to the polling place and went in. I followed her. She had no ID because she had left her purse at home but that is not a problem in NY. She was on the voter rolls and everyone knew who she was, so they gave her a ballot which she held upside down and took into the booth.

Twenty  minutes later Thelma wandered out of the voting booth and handed her ballot to me. I turned it over to the poll worker who put in the machine. The electronic ballot counting device lit up like the winning numbers on a Vegas slot machine. Evidently Thelma had filled in every bubble for every name on the ballot. She then asked the poll worker if her card was the winning number and if she had won the “bingo” combination.

I followed Thelma to her Edsel, watching her walk in circles. She finally managed to get in, sat there for a few minutes and got out again. She put on her MAGA hat and a sweater. After all, it gets a bit chilly in NY in November.

Thelma then pulled out her walker, walked in circles and headed back to the polling place. The poll workers immediately recognized her and gave her a Sudoku puzzle. Thelma wandered into the voting booth and sure enough, 20 minutes later she emerged with all the squares checked of. She handed the puzzle to me. I handed it to the poll worker who smiled and set it aside.

Thelma then walked out and headed toward her car.

While I watched she proceeded to come in to “vote” three more times. Finally a poll worker walked her to her car and pointed to the road. Thelma drove off and proceeded to drive away at 18 MPH with a line of cars honking behind her.

I asked the poll worker about her attempts to vote so many times.

“Oh, that’s just Thelma”, he said, “she does this every election. Poor thing doesn’t have a clue”

So, Donald Trump is right. There are voters who walk around in circles, change their clothes  and hats and attempt to vote multiple times. They mean well. They don’t know any better. Folks without a clue.

We call them Republicans

 

Voting Should Easy For All

I went to vote this morning at my very rural polling place. It was very easy.

At the polls were only 2 people other than my wife and I. Which is typical. Here in the rural areas it is very easy to vote. We actually chatted about our dogs with the poll worker, who also happens to be a vet. Also chatted with the other poll workers. No rush. No lines. No problem.

I have been voting since 1972. Usually in small towns and rural areas. I have never had to wait more than 15 minutes or so. And even that wait time has been rare. The polls are open from 6 AM to 9 PM. Plenty of time to vote.

So, it is somewhat disturbing to see areas of the country where lines are long. Where citizens have to wait for hours to take part in democracy. Where polls are sometimes intentionally place in difficult to reach areas , as in the Dodge City, Kansas case this year. Voting should be easy.

In some of these cases the Republican party, which runs the state elections, intentionally seeks to keep urban dwellers from voting. Why? Because urban dwellers are statistically more likely to vote for liberals. As are young people. Which is why some states try to prevent college students from voting. It makes sense if you don’t believe in democracy

In Kentucky the polls close at 6 PM. 6PM !! Doesn’t that prevent many working people from getting to the polls, especially single mothers and single fathers. If you don’t want working people to vote, that makes sense.

In North Dakota the Republican state leadership has intentionally tried to prevent Native Americans from voting. They passed a voter ID law that requires a specific address. Even though the Native Americans on reservations do not have specific addresses and use PO Boxes instead. Why? They tend to vote liberal. I mean, how can anyone claim that NATIVE AMERICANS , of all people, are ILLEGAL immigrants who don’t live in the USA? LOL

It makes sense if you do not believe in democracy.

It makes sense if you don’t want the people to decide who leads them.

We should have a voting holiday. Like so many other holidays, voting day should be a national holiday. A tribute to democracy. We should have a national voter ID that gets sent to every citizen when they reach the age of 18. A specific, unique number, like your social security number. Free of charge.

You don’t have to register to go to church. You don’t have to register to write a letter to a newspaper or write a blog. Or to assemble to ask for a change in a law. There is no national (or in some states any) registration to own a gun. Why not? Because these are your rights.  But the powers that control the various states demand a special, sometimes complicated processes to allow you to exercise another right. The right to vote.

Until the roadblocks to voting are pulled down we will continue to have a government elected by a minority. Which tells me that those who power do not really believe in democracy.

Extreme Ithaca Liberals

My congressman, Tom Reed of NY-23, has once again started his biennial smear campaign against any candidate who dares run against him. Those of you who follow Mr Reed may remember his previous campaigns in which he simply outright lied about the political positions of his opponents. Or maybe you are familiar his lockstep support of Mr Trump. With most of his financing coming from out of the district organizations and PACs , and corporate organizations like ALEC, he is very successful in flooding the mailboxes with lies and half-truths. (97% of Reed’s money comes from PACs and large donors, 2.5% from small donors). It works.

This year one of his managers  has started a website devoted to the “Extreme Ithaca Liberals”, which is supposed to be an insult to his mostly  moderate, mainstream and slightly liberal opponent, Tracy Mitrano. Some of his supporters even show up at rallies with “Extreme Ithaca Liberal” banners.

I guess when you can’t run on your accomplishments all you can do is try to smear the other guy. To his credit, Tom Reed does have a couple accomplishments. He has voted to end the ACA a number of times, taking away health care from his constituents. He voted for the billionaire tax giveaway, to the tune of $1.5 trillion which I suppose does benefit a couple of his constituents here in the economically depressed western NY. And he wants to pay for that tax giveaway by cutting Social Security and Medicare. Fair enough.

But enough about Tom. Let’s investigate the “Extreme Ithaca Liberals“. Those of you not familiar with this part of the country may wonder why he uses the word “Ithaca“. After all, his opponent, Tracy Mitrano lives in Penn Yan, not Ithaca.

Well, “Ithaca” is a dog whistle for “highly educated”. Home of Cornell University. On that account Mitrano stands guilty as charged. She does have a BA, MA and Ph.D. from different institutions. As well as a JD from Cornell, (hence the “Ithaca” connection.)  While many would consider being educated a plus, I suppose to Reed and his supporters that may be a disqualifying if not terrifying quality in a lawmaker. Who knows?

But, I digress. Back to the “Extreme Liberal” part of the equation. Let’s look back over the years and see what “extreme liberals” have done for America. Or, as Tom would say, how have they destroyed America?

I offer a partial list of “extreme liberal” programs, all of which were opposed at the time by conservatives as being either “socialist” or “communist” or an infringement on “states’ rights”. I would like to see Tom respond to these extreme liberal programs and tell his constituents which ones he wants to do away with. Which ones made America a worse place to live? Here they are:

Social Security. Before the Social Security program was out in place over 50% of elderly Americans lived below the poverty level. And many more were just on the cusp.  FDR and the extreme liberals passed the program. At the time the opponents called it “communist” and predicted it would quickly lead to the downfall of America. Today, that number of elderly below the poverty level is 8%. Is that a bad thing?

Medicare. Before Medicare many elderly could not afford to purchase health insurance of any kind. The emergency room was their only option. Now all older Americans get preventative and necessary health care through Medicare. The extreme liberals made it happen.  Is that a bad thing?

Medicaid. Before Medicaid millions of poor Americans could not afford health care. Including millions of children. Now, the poorest of the poor can at least get basic preventative care and treatments. The extreme liberals passed this law. Is that a bad thing?

The ACA, (Obamacare). Before the ACA was enacted over 40,000,000 still had no heath insurance. They would get their health care at emergency rooms.. People with pre-existing conditions could not get insurance. Basic preventative care was denied to millions. Now, Mr Reed WAS able to get health care. Because of his obesity problem he and his doctor agreed to an operation.  He and his doctor thought that was the best treatment for him. Extreme liberals support that. Extreme liberals are happy that Mr Reed and his doctor were able to make that decision. Extreme liberals believe that all Americans should have access to the same quality of care. Is that a bad thing?

Social Security Disability. Before this program the disabled and children who lost a parent simply had to fend for themselves. When Tom was a little boy his father died. Luckily the extreme liberals had provided that his mother could get extra money for baby Tommy to help with the bills through the Social Security survivors program. Is that bad? Oh…by the way.. In 2015 Tom Reed  proposed a rule to stop funding the Social Security Disability program when it gets low. This has always been done by reallocating funds from Social Security. A fix that had been done under both GOP and Democratic administrations.  This rule would mandate the disability program  to cut benefits instead.

The Voting Rights Act. Many states, especially in the south, had laws designed specifically to keep African-Americans from voting. Poll taxes. Literacy tests. Grandfather clauses. Simply refusing to register blacks. The voting Rights Act changed that, trying to make sure all citizens can vote. The extreme liberals made that happen. Was that bad?  (Evidently so, since many states have re-instituted voter suppression laws now that the Supreme Court has overturned parts of the Act.)

Equal Accommodation Laws. After World War 2 men who fought and were injured fighting totalitarian governments came home. Some of them were told they could not eat in restaurants. Could not use the bathroom. Could not drink from the water fountain. Could not sit at the lunch counter. Had to ride in the back of the bus. Could not buy a house in this neighborhood. Could not send their children to the good school. Could not enter the university. The extreme liberals thought that was wrong and changed the law to prevent discrimination based on skin color. Was that bad?

I could go on and on and on, Food Stamps, Environmental Protection laws, minimum wage laws, worker safety laws, etc.  The bottom line is that most of the progress we take for granted in our daily lives was due to the “Extreme Ithaca Liberals” types.

So when Mr Reed’s supporters show up with signs and post websites about those “Extreme Ithaca Liberals” we might take a moment to ponder what our society would look like today without Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Minimum Wage Laws, the EPA, The ACA, Voting rights and a host of other programs we take for granted as normal.

Tom Reed would take those programs away if you give him the chance to do so. He is not an “Extreme Ithaca Liberal“.

New Year Predictions 2018

This is the time of year when we think about the new year and what it will bring.  My new year predictions for 2018. While a couple might be a little off, I remain confident that my overall predictions will hold true.

The Cleveland Browns football team will be allowed to leave the NFL and play against selected college teams. While they do not fair well against Southeastern Virginia Disability Institute and the Outer Waco Texas Girls Ballet School the season is not a total loss. They will end up with a 1-11 record, having eked out a 3-0 victory over the Northern Idaho School for the Blind.

Robert Mueller’s third cousin on his mother’s side, 12 year old Cynthia Woggles,  will be investigated by a Congressional Committee headed by Trent Gowdy. The investigation, which will cost $ 7,000,000 and the calling of 98 witnesses, all of whom are commentators on Fox and Friends, will discover that Woggles  voted for Hillary Clinton in her 6th grade mock election in 2016.  (Not to be confused with the national mock election held the same year) Mr Trump will use this evidence of bias to fire the Republican Mueller. In  his place Mr Trump will appoint Roy Moore to take over the investigation. Moore immediatley calls Woggles for a play date.

Major League baseball will announce that after a study of fan injuries at 6 ballparks they have discovers 14 fans who had died during the game. At first the cause of the deaths was a mystery, since none of these fans were hit by foul balls or bats. Medical examiners confirm that these deaths can be attributed to a cerebral shutdown of the inner brain, caused by intense boredom.

The US will recognize the following new capitals. Scotland. Former capital: Edinburgh. New capital: Trump International Golf Links.  China. Former capital: Beijing, Forbidden City. New capital: Shanghai, Ivanka Shoe Factory.  Iran. Former capital: Tehran. New capital: Jersusalem.  USA. Former capital: Washington, DC. New capital: Mar-A-Lago, Florida. Congress passes a law concuring.

FEMA will announce, sometime in June, that they have devised a plan to bring power back to Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico has not had full electric power resumed since Hurricane Maria in September, 2017. Despite the fact that the FEMA response was the “best response ever” to a catastrophe (a close second being the FEMA response to Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans) . The new plan calls for running an extension cord from Merida, Mexico to the island to bring power back on line to the millions of foreigners living in Puerto Rico.  As long as Mexico agrees to pay for the cord.

The 1st Annual Scott Pruitt “Global Warming is a Hoax” seminar takes place in a yacht named “The Golden Dollar” off the coast of Charleston, South Carolina in July. Guest speakers include climate experts Sean Hannity, Clint Eastwood’s empty chair and the entire Duck Dynasty family. The conference is cut short when a family of polar bears swims past searching for ice.

In the Vatican, Pope Francis is caught on mike saying that he thinks “this god stuff is a bunch of BS”. Nevertheless,  he speaks out against war, violence, disease, global warming and hatred. He calls on all government leaders of the world to join in peace and harmony. No one calls back.When asked what common people should do to solve these problems he answers: “I tell you, I’m all outta ideas. Reality sucks so you might as well pray to a fantasy. Gets ME through the day.”

The New England Patriots win the Super Bowl, 17-14, on February 4 in a thriller over the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles have 7 TDs called back by the replay officials in NY, who are nowhere near the actual location of the game in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Days later it is discovered that the league officials in NY had mistakenly been watching the replays of the Bournemouth vs. Stoke City English Premier League soccer match of February 3, in which no one scored. As usual.

Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke announces the closing of all National Parks, except for Mount Rushmore. All parks will be sold to the Koch Brothers at a deep discount and the proceeds, which are tax deductible, will be spent renovating Mount Rushmore. The faces of Teddy Roosevelt, George Washington , Thomas Jefferson and Abe Lincoln will be sandblasted away to make room for giant head of Donald Trump, surrounded by his three wives. The monument will be renamed: Best Monument Ever. Congress concurs.

On a strict liberal vs. conservative vote the Supreme Court approves Executive Order 5,678 on the topic of voting rights. Since the court had previously ruled , under Citizens United, that money equals speech, they extend that ruling to include voting. Under the new ruling “money equals voting”, as well. Based on the principle of “one dollar equals one vote” the 2018 election will be determined by a new voting method. Every citizen must bring in their tax returns to show their gross income from wages and investments. Each dollar will count as one vote.

North Korean leader, professional golfer and all around bozo Kim Jung Un  announces a new building plan. He has signed an agreement with Trump University to open up a “Kim-Donald School For Learning Stuff” in Pyongyang. The school will focus on business related seminars including: How to Get Stuff  For Free; 12 Ways to Evict “Those People”; Tax Evasion 101: Avoiding Those Nasty Import Fees; and, Bankruptcy, The Real Estate Developers Best Friend. Eric Trump attends the ribbon cutting ceremony which is a disaster as none of the Korean made scissors are sharp enough to cut the paper ribbon. Eric calls the “Kim-Donald “school  the “best university ever” and announces at the same time that the US will begin selling nuclear technology to Kim as a gesture of good will.

Finally. Congress votes itself a 50% pay raise for a “job well done”. The legislative branch passed a total of three bills. They were: 1. “The Amazing Trump is the Best President Ever” bill awarding the Trump Medal of MAGA to the best person in America. This year’s recipient? Donald Trump. 2. “The FBI Traitor” law. Which labels all members of the FBI, former and current, official “enemies of the people” and subject to immediate permanent detention and prosecution for doing “bad stuff”. Mueller is the first to be perp walked. 3. “Congressional Vacation Act” which allows Congress to take a vacation for a period including January 2 through December 30, with pay and expenses for fact finding travel.  Mr Trump signed all three bills and praised Congress for their services… which will no longer be necessary.

 

 

Why Do We Gotta Learn This Stuff?

Billy Bob Baker, sitting in the back row picking his nose in US history class: “Why do we gotta learn this stuff?” What history teacher has not heard that refrain from some of his or her students ?

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the Bloody Sunday march in Selma, Alabama.

In much of Alabama Negroes could not vote. African-Americans and blacks could not register to vote. The state of Alabama had systematically and intentionally prevented minorities from taking part in elections. State’s rights.

The federal government was doing nothing to guarantee this right.

So. People marched. Peacefully. And the local and state authorities responded with violence. With billy clubs. With dogs. With tear gas. With beatings.

Because people marched for the right to vote. Peacefully. For the right to vote.

Today we have seen a resurgence of the “state’s rights” propaganda. In the 1950s and 60s it was a code word for racism. For keeping minorities powerless. For making laws about marriage, schools, drinking fountains, restaurants and even where a person could sit on a bus.

Take a moment to digest that. The state of Alabama,under the doctrine of “state’s rights” decided that some working, tax paying citizens could not drink at a public drinking fountain. Or use a restroom. The state of Alabama, and many others, decided that even though a person bought a ticket to ride a bus he or she could not sit in an empty seat on that bus unless it was in the back of the bus. Even though the law abiding working citizens paid taxes , the state of Alabama decided that these same taxpaying citizens could not participate in elections.

Let it sink in.
It is not ancient history. It is modern America. It wasn’t 1695, it was 1965.

“Why do we gotta learn this stuff?” Because ignorance breeds racism. Because ignorance of recent history allows one to be lead by the nose into another era of “states rights”. Another code word. Because your ignorance condemns you to be a pawn. Because the world is more complex than Fox Entertainment would have you believe. And to help you understand that no battle for civil rights is ever finished. Because if you remain ignorant you are easy pickings for the demagogues and racists. There are always politicians who will use the codewords to gain power over others.

Yes, Billy Bob. You gotta learn that stuff. Not just for yourself, but so the rest of us can live knowing that your ignorance will not help reactionaries turn back the clock of progress.

Here’s an Idea…Let Citizens Vote !

There have been a slew of voter suppression laws in many GOP held states since the last election.  While on the surface many of these laws seem to be innocuous enough, the devil is always in the details.  Behind this attempt at disenfranchisement is the myth that millions of illegals are somehow managing to vote, and they all vote Democratic. Oh well. Sigh.

The reforms sound reasonable enough. Take Kansas, for example. The new law (in force since 2013) says that in order to vote you must have proof of citizenship.  A photo ID.  But that does cost money. And the list of acceptable documents needed to obtain the proper ID all cost money. The state website says that you can apply for a FREE birth certificate…uh…except it costs $15 to apply for the FREE birth certificate.  Tantamount to a poll tax.  If you want to vote, you pay. And lost in the details (remember  that is where the “devil” resides) is an interesting clause.

In Kansas folks who have voted in the past do NOT need new ID. Nor do they need to prove  US citizenship !  What ? Yes. The Kansas law seems to apply ONLY to new voters. Those registered before January 1, 2013 do not have to comply. But…if there has been wide scale voter fraud in Kansas (the purpose for the law) doesn’t that mean that voters “in the past” have been illegal ? Let the ILLEGAL voters continue to vote ?  Defies logic. But it makes sense if your goal is to suppress a certain segment of the population from voting. Young voters.  New voters. Poor voters.  Groups which tend to lean Democratic. Reminiscent of the very effective “grandfather clause” of the old south.

Other states, like Ohio, have changed their voting laws to make it more difficult for working people to vote. Actually, Ohio has pretty good laws. They allow early voting.  And voting on weekends right before the election. Very popular. Especially with working folks. And voting in the evenings the weeks before the election. This allows working folks a chance to get to the polls. Well, it did. But they discovered that African-American voters (largely Democratic) voted early and on Sunday. And since the working poor had jobs, the evening voting was attractive to them. Not good for the GOP.  This year the Ohio GOP government changed those voting times. Too many working people being able to make it to the polls has never been good for the GOP.

And Florida has made registering new voters much more difficult by ,for the first time, establishing very strict time restrictions on the process.
Just three examples, there are more.

All the while, these GOP controlled state governments insist that they want citizens to have the right to vote.  They WANT citizens to vote. They want all citizens to be part of the process.

OK. Let’s call their bluff. Let’s see if the GOP would join us in the following solutions.

First. Every person should be given a free national ID voter/citizenship card at the age of 18. Can’t do it? Of course we can.  Every male in the US is obligated to register for Selective Service upon reaching the age of 18.  Each one is sent proof of registration. They are put in the system. They are identified. A similar system could be used to register every male and female as voters. You get a card. Like a Social Security card. It proves you have the right to vote. You present the card at your polling place. Only citizens get these cards. End of problem.

Second. Mandate that any other forms of ID required to vote must be free. No application fees. Free. If any state requires ID beyond the Voter registration card the state must provide those forms of ID  for nothing.

Third. Voter week. Every state will open voting for one full week , ending on Tuesday, election day. And each state will provide polls to be open until 9 PM each day of the voting week. This will make it easier for citizens to vote. Make it easier for the working class to vote. Something the GOP SAYS it wants to do.

Fourth. Any illegal immigrant attempting to vote will face immediate deportation.

Fifth. The voter tax rebate. Every citizen who votes in the national election will be given a tax rebate of $100. Just send it in with your next year’s tax return. A reward for good citizenship.

I am sure there are other, better ideas for encouraging voting. Maybe a national voter registration week ? Or making Election Day itself a national holiday?

If the GOP is serious about citizens voting there are plenty of ways to encourage that. Of course, if EVERYBODY votes, the GOP has real political problems. And they know it.

So, despite the posturing about “citizens” and “waving the flag” and “honoring America”,  don’t expect any action soon from the GOP.  Do expect voter suppression laws to continue to become more focused and more restrictive. Otherwise it would look too much like they were encouraging democracy. And we all know where that will lead.