The Verdict Is In

The Evening News, August 3, 2043

Good evening, this is Herbert Herbert with the evening news. 

Our top story today. 

The Trump trials are finally coming to an end.

For those of you too young or disinterested to recall we have a brief rundown of the Trump trials.

Following the 2020 election which then President Trump lost, his team went to court over 50 times to try to overturn the results. All those attempts failed.

On January 6, 2021 President Trump called his supporters to a
“Stop the Steal” rally in Washington, DC. While Congress was officially recognizing Joe Biden as the winner of the election, Trump called on his supporters to march to the Capitol Building or they would not have a country. 

The Capitol was attacked and ransacked. Police were attacked and injured. One woman was shot and killed  attempting to breach the House chambers. Over 1,000 insurrectionists were convicted and sentenced to jail time. The coup d’etat failed.

Subsequent investigations into Trump and his businesses led to a number of court cases. 

A DC trial for insurrection. A Florida trial for the theft of government documents, including top secret ones.  A business corruption trial in NY. A trial in Georgia for his attempt to change the votes in that state. A sexual abuse trial in NY.

In the civil trials Trump and his organization were required to pay large fines.

However, the criminal trials were delayed. Motions by the Trump lawyers in those cases caused multiple delays as judges tried to decide the validity of claims.

In 2024 the US Supreme Court  ruled that , as President, Trump was immune from prosecution for any “official acts”. They then ruled that since there was no definition of “official acts” in the US Constitution, it was incumbent on the US prosecutor to prove the actions of Trump were not official acts.

After lengthy appeals and appeals the prosecutor demonstrated that Trump’s acts were not “official  acts” since the president has no role in determining the results of elections.

In 2025 the SCOTUS, hearing an appeal by Trump,  ruled that the Prosecutor had not made his case and referred the matter back to lower courts. At the same time they ruled that all Trump criminal trials must be delayed until a final adjudication of the issue.

In 2027, responding to a number of Trump appeals, the SCOTUS ruled that Trump could be tried for the Mar-A-Lago documents case because he was not president when he had the top secret documents in his possession. At that point Judge Cannon of Florida set a final trial date in the documents case for July, 2029.

Meanwhile the Trump team had previously appealed the Georgia trial on the grounds that one of the cousins of the court clerk had a previous social interaction with the pet dog of a friend of Fani Willis. After a thorough 1 year investigation the court ruled that the dog had to be put up for adoption to allay any appearance of conflict of interest.

So, by 2031 no criminal trial had begun.

In 2035 Trump argued that the three criminal trials conflicted with each other and so all should be delayed until the Trump lawyers had a chance to decide which trial would go first. After appeals to the Court of Appeals were denied, the SCOTUS agreed to hear the case. They placed it on their docket for the Fall of 2037.

Finally, in 2038 the trial dates were set. Trump appealed the requirement that the trial be held 5 days a week due to religious reasons. He was a longstanding (2 week) member of the Kirshner Bible Church. One of the tenets of the church is that members may only be in a courtroom 1 day a week.

In 2039 the SCOTUS overruled the lower courts and held that forcing Trump to attend the trials more than one day a week violated his sacred right to freedom of worship. But the trials may proceed on that basis.

After being convicted in the Mar-A-Lago trial, judge Cannon set aside the verdict and imposed a not guilty verdict from the bench. On appeal the SCOTUS upheld her decision.

In 2041 the convictions in the DC Insurrection case and the Georgia Election Interference case were obtained by prosecutors.

The Trump legal team immediately appealed  and he was allowed out on his own without bail.

In the end the SCOTUS held that the verdicts in all Trump criminals must be set aside and that Trump could not be charged again in any criminal court.

Writing for the majority, Justice Clarence Thomas (I know, but he is still alive, kind of) stated,”…it is OUTRAGEOUS that this poor man has been the subject of these witch hunts for so many years. Our sacred and holy Constitution gives every citizen the right to a “speedy trial”. The fact that it took the government all these years to finally bring these cases to trial is a travesty . It makes a mockery of our system of justice…”

So, there you have it . Finally in 2043 we have turned the page on the final chapter of the saga of the Trump trials. As he prepares for another run for the highest office in the land.

Herbert Herbert signing off.