How Bout It?

In 2010 a Russian arms dealer named Viktor Bout was sentenced to 25 years in prison for his crime of attempting to sell arms to FARC, a terrorist group in Colombia. He had been arrested in a “sting” operation carried out by US DEA agents in Thailand. They pretended to be members of FARC and got assurances from Bout that he could supply anti-aircraft weapons and 5,000 AK-47s. He never delivered.

He was arrested and sent to the US for a trial. The rationale was that IF he had actually sold the weapons (he didn’t) Americans would have been killed by them. In Colombia. So, the US claimed jurisdiction . Russia, of course, protested and called it a political prosecution.

Bout was convicted by a jury based on the agents’ testimony. His sentence could have been life in prison. Anyone who sells weapons that are used to kill Americans face some of the harshest penalties. In fact, he was convicted on 4 counts. The judge, however, sentenced him to the bare minimum, 25 years in prison. The reason? She was critical of the “sting” operation And stated that if not for the sting he may not have committed any crime. (Note that Bout was a well-known arms dealer who had been delivering arms to rebel groups for years. No altar boy). He was nicknamed by US authorities as “The Merchant ofDeath”.

Which brings me around to American arms dealers.

Bout was convicted of planning to sell weapons used to kill Americans. In his case those weapons were never delivered or used to kill Americans  (these would be Americans fighting in Colombia). Still, a jury convicted him and he was sentenced.

Since the tragedy of 9/11 we have had 22 years of deaths by guns in the USA. Approximately 30-35,000 or more per year. Roughly 800,000 Americans were killed by guns. None were sold to them by Bout.

The guns used to kill Americans were sold by thousands of small gun store owners. They were sold on line. They were sold by Marty Daniel. Daniel is the CEO of Daniel Defense. They were sold by Christopher Killoy. Killoy is the CEO of Sturm, Ruger and Company. Merchants of Death.

Selling AR-15s and other weapons used to kill Americans. Every day . Gun sellers made over $1 billion in profits in the last 10 years just on assault weapons alone. Merchants of death.

Now Putin and the Russians want Viktor Bout back. Maybe it is time for him to return to Russia. Or,  perhaps we should send them Daniel and Killoy instead. After all, they have been much more effective in killing Americans than Bout could ever hope to be. Merchants of death.

How Bout it?

2 Comments

Filed under government, gun control, Politics, Society, United States, violence

Doggystyle

Recently a Republican congressman named Jody Hice, from Georgia, was trying to make a point about personhood. He asked Fatima Gross , the CEO of the National Women’s LawCenter, whether a woman could give birth to a turtle.

He knew, of course, that a woman could not give birth to a turtle. He was trying to be clever in pointing out that any pregnancy in a woman always results in a “person'” being born.

Now, being a curious human being, I was led to do some of my own research. After all, real research must take into account all the information available to us on the interweb.

I could find no news stories of any woman ever giving birth to a Snapping Turtle or Loggerhead or Slider. Not even any reference to a Eastern Mud or a Pig-Nosed. Nada. So, we can put that possibility aside.

However, that does not mean that a woman necessarily ALWAYS gives birth to a human baby. Interweb research, the primary form of information now cited regularly by those on the right wing of the political spectrum, leads us down the path of true truth. And the truth must always be respected.

In the 17th century a “doctor” by the name of Paolo Zacchia reported the birth of a half human half dog baby. Evidently the canine /hominid hybrid was the result of a dalliance of the woman with her household pet. The “monstrosity” was an example of the awful result of such a union. Italian women were put on alert. Keep the family dog away from your pussy.

Of course, we must take with a grain of salt (or spoon of Alpo) any stories from the 17th century. There is really no way to verify. Luckily we have more recent cases of human – canine intimate interactions.

In 2017 a story emerged from South Africa. It was reported that Samantha Kedder had given birth to a litter of three puppies. Despite the fact that no DNA tests were done, the finger (or paw) was pointed at Jonsey. Jonsey was the family German Shepherd. And the puppies WERE German shepherds! Ms Kedder later admitted that she had frequent intercourse with Jonsey (we assume it was consensual). Evidently Jonsey had mastered the commands of “Down” and “Come” . Still working on “Roll Over”.

But, if you remain a skeptic, there are other examples. The well respected journal “The Atlantic” has reported a number of these multi-genus couplings.

From the World Weekly News we learned that Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton had a big fight over Hillary’s affair with a space alien. Bill had to resort to fisticuffs to defeat the alien, but not before he or it had coupled with the First Lady.

As any regular readers of the news source probably already know, another amorous affair ended with the birth of the famous “Bat Boy”. Found in a cave in West Virginia, the half-bat, half-human was front page news. Some confusion resulted which still remains a mystery to this day. Was the Bat Boy a product of a human (Joe Manchin?) impregnating a bat OR a bat (maybe Batman?) impregnating a female human? We may never know.

To the unbeliever, I give you more evidence. In July , 2016, in Nigeria , a woman gave birth to a half human half frog infant. Or maybe a half toad who can tell? The father was never identified since he had previously croaked.

Also in Nigeria (known as the home of princes) another strange birth took place. A woman who had been pregnant for three years finally gave birth….. to a dog. another example of man’s best friend being a little too friendly to man’s best wife. This happened in a church, so there can be no doubt of the veracity.

But there is more from Nigeria. Just a few months earlier in the same area, a woman gave birth to a goat. A goat! This took place at the Redeemed Chritian Church of God. A miracle? Or a case of Billy Goat Gruff running amok? It should be bleating obvious.

The lesson here is clear. Members of the gentler sex will screw anything that walks on all fours. No wonder they get cooties. Now , some might argue that these poor women were not responsible for these births. To that I say, “Ever hear of birth control”? Take responsibility. Be sure to take a doggy bag on those long walks with Fido.

Of course these women were not raped. Noted former congressman Tod Akin knows human biolgy. In 2012 he pointed out that a woman cannot get pregnant if raped. Her body does stuff to prevent that pregnancy. Along the same lines, another Republican candidate for Congress, Yesil Vega of Virginia made a similar claim. Because a rapist does it “quickly” it is very unlikely that rape will result in a pregnancy. Speed is the key. If a man ejaculates in a matter of seconds, pregnancy is impossible. Hmmm. Makes me wonder how I fathered 2 kids? I need a long talk with Betsy.

So any woman who claims she is pregnant, from man or beast, cannot claim rape. Impossible. Liars all. They wanted it.

Back to bestiality. Evidently the issue of human animal interactions of an intimate nature have long been a problem. That explains why the good book condemns such liaisons. Perhaps it is time for Congress to act. Finally, a platform that GOP politicians can run on. A national crisis. Perhaps outlawing “doggy style” activities.

Jody Hice, take notes.

5 Comments

Filed under birth control, GOP, Politics, Society

Biting My Tongue

Last week I traveled to Ohio to see my nephew and his young family. These folks were flying in from Europe with their kids. I hadn’t seen them in 4 years and was happy to see the little ones, especially.

Why Ohio? Because the parents of these relatives live in Ohio and so they would be staying there. These relatives (very close relatives) who live in Ohio are fervent Trump supporters. Members of the cult. Unmoving in their love of the Donald.

So, I was determined to keep my mouth shut.

There was really no point. So, we avoided all discussions of politics. Which was hard for me. As anyone who knows me can relate, my ability to keep my mouth shut when it comes to politics takes an enormous amount of will power. And will power is not my strong suit.

For two days we hung around saying nothing of import. Nothing of consequence. Very uncomfortable.

It is hard to have relatives who have fallen into the cult. But it raises some issues.

Were they always racist and Trump just allowed that to be used as a badge of loyalty? I suspect so.

Were they always anti-democracy, authoritarian and willing to give loyalty to a tyrant? Evidently so.

Did they always hate the concepts of liberalism which gives them a good life today? I guess so.

It is ironic to me that these relatives still support the tyrant. Still hate all things liberal. After all, they both are supported by Social Security.They both have Medicare. They have safe lives. Members of their family get benefits as retired veterans, earned, from the military. They live on a safe street in a safe neighborhood. All the things liberals have fought for and the conservatives have opposed. And they hate liberalism.

I recall a conversation I had with one of them a few years ago. She talked about how she would never vote for Hillary Clinton. When I asked why her answer was that Hillary should have divorced Bill when his affair was exposed. Hillary had no integrity. She only votes for people with integrity.

Then, this relative proceeded to vote twice for Donald Trump. A serial sexual offender. A man who changes wives and girlfriends like changing the oil in your car. He was her hero. He loved America. Boys will be boys.

So, they have gone down the rabbit hole and are lost. They will never crawl out. No amount of evidence or facts will change their minds. A cult. Lost to a cult. Lost.

So, I seldom see or talk to these relatives. I do think they are racists although they will not admit it. (I should add that they really hated Obama). I do think they have lost all ability to consider evidence. They live on a steady diet of Fox . No need to watch the January 6 hearings, Fox will tell them what to think. Like the “See no evil, hear no evil” monkeys. Closed to ideas. Loyal followers.

So, we have no relationship except on the most surface levels. Close relatives. No longer.

I have to stay silent. I have to bite my tongue. Ouch.

11 Comments

Filed under Conservatives, government, Hillary, liberals, Neoconservative, Politics, Social Security, Society, Trump

Trump’s Chimps

When Jane Goodall first studied chimpanzees in the wild she learned that they are peaceful animals for the most part. The problem with her first study was that it was limited mainly to female chimps, including the very good mother, Flo.

As time went on and more data was collected it became evident that chimp behavior could be anything but peaceful. Especially among male chimps vying for power. I say male chimps because unlike bonobos the males are bigger , stronger and more aggressive than females. And unlike gorillas, our more distant relative, the common chimpanzees live in larger groups with multiple males.

The political power structure of chimps centers around groups of males, supporting each other. One male chimp stands above the others. He achieves this role through violence and intimidation. He makes the other male chimps cower before him. Then he uses that collective power to maintain control of the group.

In order to keep that power he must continually reassert his dominance. Once in a while a younger chimp may challenge him. At that point his gang comes to support him and fend off the challenger. At some point, however, when he starts to get old and vulnerable another chimp will successfully challenge him and become the new leader. Demanding the same allegiance from the group. Subserviant males would approach the ruler and hold out a hand in demonstrating their complete loyalty.

Of course there will be males who simply leave the group run by the bully. It was noted in the group that Goodall studied. A number of males left the original group and went to an adjoining territory. The original males , led by their boss, tracked down the other males. But they did not attack them as a group.

They waited until they found a male alone, then the entire gang systematically attacked and beat the ex-patriot to death. They did this to each male as they found him. Ambushed. Brutal gang attacks on lone males. Those murdered males had been part of their society and probably related to some of them. The attacks occurred for no apparent reason since the break off group was not threatening their territory.

As we now know, chimpanzees are our most closely related primate. (Some claim bonobos are just as close or closer). Some anthropologists have suggested that human beings are, in fact, a type of chimpanzee. But, since humans make the categories they decided they were unique.

Which brings me to Trump’s chimps.

Are there some genetic components in human beings that demand the type of leadership Trump provides? Violent. Vindictive. Allowing no deviation from the leader. Total humiliation of others, even his closest supporters.

Do human beings, at least many of them, welcome the bully as leader. The tough guy who manipulates others to do his dirty work. The man who governs by intimidation.

Are democracies doomed by human DNA?

Julius Caesar. Adlof Hitler. Napoleon Bonaparte. Idi Amin. Pol Pot. Josef Stalin. Mao Zedong. Saddam Hussein. Donald Trump. Henry VIII. Putin. The list goes on.

No strong man acts alone. He intimidates others who buckle under his will. He eliminates anyone who defies him, further intimidating those around him. A technique so old and so often used that it is hard to imagine there is not some genetic component.

Perhaps Trump’s chimps are normal and those of us who believe in democracy are the outliers, genetically. Perhaps democracies are doomed to eventually give way to authoritarianism. Perhaps there is an inherent need for humans to reject the idea of group decision making in deference to a strong man. After all, democracy demands responsibility. Isn’t it easier to give that responsibility to one man and unburden the individual from thinking and acting. Easier to give up responsibility for society. Empathy is hard.

A frightful idea. That Trump’s chimps are the inevitable end game of our democracy.The “normal” ones. Encoded in our DNA.

5 Comments

Filed under government, Politics, Society, violence

Harden Schools, Hardened Hearts

After the latest school shooting in Uvalde. Well, this is 5 days later so maybe not the latest. At any rate, after the regularly scheduled school shooting, the party of guns had possible answers to this national event.

Luckily I was able to catch the attention of Ted Cruz. It wasn’t hard since I had a camera. This is the same Ted Cruz who cleverly escapes the frequent Texas electrical grid failures by flying to Cancun. The guy whose father helped assassinate JFK. Not what I say, that’s what former President Donald says. The man Trump called an “unstable person”.If anyone should know…

So, I asked Ted to explain how he would make schools safe.

Ted: We need to make schools safe. As my good friend President Trump as said, schools need doors that lock. From the inside. Doors inside the school that lock.

Me: As a teacher of over 30 years I know a little about school safety. So, Ted, every school has doors with locks.

Ted: And that is the problem. Too many doors. You see , we need to harden schools by having only one door. That door should be secure, guarded and locked from the inside. Easy. Stop blaming the guns and put the blame were it belongs, our liberal unsafe schools.

Me: But, Ted , some schools have 1000 or more students. With one door how long will it take for them to enter and exit. Kids will be lined up outside. Won’t they be even easier targets for some mentally ill guy with an AR-15.

Ted: Easy solution. What you need is a fence around the schools . A brick fence about 10 feet high so no one can see around it to target kids. And, to prevent them from climbing over it, put razor wire on top. And towers at the corners with snipers to make sure no bad guys approach the school.

Me: We have 130,000 schools in this nation. So, you are proposing 130,000 fortresses?

Ted: If that is what it takes to keep our children safe. Let me reiterate. One door in each school. With locks. One highly paid resource officer at the door. Armed. A brick fence surrounding the school, manned by snipers. A small price to pay for the children. The children! Thoughts and prayers. Sad.

Me: Back to the school. If there is just one door what happens if there is a fire? How do the kids get out?

Ted: We need to make sure the site is completely hardened. That means no flammable material. No paper products of any kind. Nothing that can burn. We need to eliminate all books and writing materials.

Me: OK.. what about the windows. Couldn’t a shooter fire through the windows?

Ted: No windows. Solves the problems. An all brick building with one door.

Me: Well, that sounds a lot to me like a prison. Except in prison the convicts get to read books.

Ted: Exactly. And how many prisons have you seen where a mass murderer was able to get in and kill many convicts at once with an AR-15. Just does not happen. There is the proof. Make every school a prison. No place safer than a prison. Problem solved.

Me: Wouldn’t it be easier to prevent the bad guys from getting the AR-15s in the first place.

Ted: But then kids would not have their 2nd Amendment rights ! Just imagine the kind of society we would have if AR-15s were illegal or the mentally ill could not get a gun? What kind of nation would we become?

Me: Wouldn’t all children be safer? In every school? In every community?

Ted: Maybe so, but then when could I offer my thoughts and prayers.

14 Comments

Filed under Education, GOP, gun control, Politics, US

Time for Replacement

There is an important political movement afoot. It is called “Replacement Theory”. It goes something like this.

The white race is on the verge of being “replaced” by the non-white races. (Disclaimer:I am a member of the white race). Because the white race is being replaced by the other races it is necessary to take actions to stop this replacement.

At this point I will not bore you with scientific-type stuff. Like the fact that there is only one human race. The idea that the concept of race is a social construct, not biological reality. Science only exists if you think it exists. Replacement theory cannot be constrained by evidence, facts, science, etc. What fun would that be?

Replacement theory has been the basis for much violence. Killings of blacks, Asians, Jews, etc. have all been linked to replacement theory. Replacement theory is mother’s milk to Tucker Carlson and other right wing ideologues. Think of all the mass murders in the last 10 years or so.

How many mass murders were committed by black folks? How many black men have used AR-15s and entered a white church and murdered people. How many Hispanic immigrants have killed white children at day care centers. How many Asian immigrants have bombed white owned businesses?

The master race, of which I am a member , has a long history of replacement. Replaced Native Americans in North and South America. Replaced aboriginal populations in Australia. Replaced black Africans in South Africa. The history of the white race is one of replacement.

And who can forget the giants of the white race replacement history. The Conquistadors and their progeny who enslaved most of Latin America.. The British who replaced and colonized North America, South Africa and Australia. More recently the great white replacement heroes like Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Putin and others who justify violence on the Jews, Slavs, Ukrainians, etc.

It seems time for the new replacement to take place. I support the replacement of the “white race” by people “of color”. Look at some of the white race and tell me the world would not better without them in power. Trump? Tucker Carlson? Marjorie Taylor Greene? Josh Hawley? Ted Cruz? The list goes on.

The historic and continuing violence of the white race seems to cry for replacement. Must be a genetic defect. A violence gene. An ignorance gene. A hate gene. Seems like a certain number of the master race, along with the leadership of the master race are genetically defective.

So I appeal to people of color all over America. Please, please REPLACE us as the majority. PLEASE replace Tucker and Donald and all the other blatant racists. The sooner replacement takes place, the better. The master race had its chance. It failed. Time for replacement.

4 Comments

Filed under blacks, government, immigrants, Politics, Society, US, violence

Step One… Accomplished

The recent leaked opinion about Roe v Wade, written by Justice Alito, demonstrates exactly where the radical court is heading.

Overturning Roe v Wade and taking away a family”‘s right to decide how many children they want is just the first step.

Justice Alito has outlined his thinking on the abortion issue. But more important, it sets a foundation for overturning many other rights that people had assumed we had as citizens. The core of Alitio’s decision is this: The right to an abortion is new. It has no history in America. He is clear that a legitimate reason for overturning a Supreme Court decision can be based on this idea. It is not EXPLICITLY mentioned in the original Constitution and it has no longstanding history of being recognized as a right.

He even goes back to the 17th century to explain that “common law” historically viewed abortion as illegal and criminal. He refers to a multitude of 19th century writings which express the same sentiment. Women do not have the right to an abortion. This is the fundamental principle on which his decision rests.

Of course, following Alitio’s reasoning we can see where this leads. While he gives a passing reference to the 9th and 10th Amendments he then ignores that very important part of the Bill of Rights. The founders, after all, debated what rights should be included in the Bill of Rights. Knowing it was impossible to include ALL rights, they included those amendments as safety valves meant to include future rights as may be identified. That was the “original” Constitution which the “originalists” constantly ignore.

Following Alito’s reasoning it becomes apparent that any right not specifically mentioned in the Constitution AND with no long history in common law is not a right at all. All are now up for grabs. Where does this lead?

Until the 1950s women had virtually no legal rights in many states. It was a tradition. A woman could not get credit in her own name and had few rights her husband could not decide.Husbands and wives, in the privacy of their own bedrooms, were not allowed to use birth control. That was the longstanding American tradition.

Until the 1960s blacks were effectively prevented from voting by state laws in southern states. Literacy tests. Poll taxes. A longstanding American tradition.

Until the 1960s black Americans could be prevented from buying houses, marrying non-blacks, eating at restaurants, renting hotel rooms, drinking at water fountains, sitting on buses, etc. Black Americans , by law, could not attend schools with white children. A very longstanding American tradition.

Until recently homosexual behavior was illegal and punishable by prison terms. Tradition. Homosexuals were not allowed to marry. They had no rights to adopt. Certainly a longstanding American tradition.

Make no mistake. The fundamental concept articulated by Alito has massive ramifications in all areas of life. State legislatures will attempt to return to a more repressive system. Be certain that there are many state legislatures chomping at the bit to take away rights from blacks, immigrants, homosexuals, news organizations, etc. The current majority on the Supreme Court now has a firm basis on which to overturn any well established Supreme Court decision.

This decision is just step one.

4 Comments

Filed under abortion, birth control, gay marriage, gay rights, Politics, racism, right to life, Supreme Court, United States

Families v Big Brother

We are on the verge of a return to big government interference in family affairs.

I am referring to the upcoming overturning of Roe v Wade by the activist , right wing majority on the Supreme Court. I think most of us would be very surprised if the McConnell majority does not decide that a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy no longer exists. One of the few (first?) times a SCOTUS has taken away a well established right.

Of course, as a practical matter this makes little difference. The SCOTUS for years has turned a blind eye to the real elimination of this right, state by state. For all practical purposes abortion has been illegal for years in many states, at least for poor families. Chipping away, slowly, until the right to abortion exists only in theory, not practice. Especially for poor families.

Notice, I hope, that I write “families”.

This ongoing attack on the right to an abortion has been seen by the left as a “woman’s issue”. It is. But it is much more than that. By ignoring the wider implications of the attack on abortion rights the liberals have played into the hands of the right wing. Yes, women get pregnant. But the abortion issue is not just about women.

The left needs to wake up and see the issue in much wider terms. They need to aggressively demonstrate the fundamental importance to men. To families.They need to frame the issue in a different way.

In the final analysis the argument breaks down to this.

Who has the right to determine how many children a family can have? Is it the family or is it big government? Should mom and dad decide, or should they be controlled by a law made by the state legislature? Who knows better ? Who should decide how may kids a man or woman can support, the family or big brother?

You would think that conservatives, who have panic attacks when asked to wear a mask, would be on the side of the family. But they are not. This is one area where they care not for “freedom” from big government. They demand big government. They demand the suppression of family rights. They show their true, authoritarian, colors.

In Germany in the 1930s the Nazis demanded that “Aryan” women have more babies. For the fatherland. The state decided how many babies a family could have. It is called authoritarianism.

In communist China in the 1960s the government demanded that families in cities limit themselves to one child. Only one. If the first child was a girl many families committed infanticide, hoping for a boy next time. The state decided how many babies a family could have. It is called authoritarianism.

In the USA today we have the same attitude .The state should decide how many children a family will have. Not mom. Not dad. Big brother. The only true function of a family is to add babies. No matter the emotional or economic cost. It matters not what the family wants. Authoritarianism.

So, if a man or woman s working hard to make ends meet and does not want another mouth to feed, too bad. The state will decide. If a woman has a medical condition that may put her in danger with another pregnancy, too bad. The state will decide. Authoritarianism.

Families no longer have rights .These same folks who whine and cry about “freedom” from vaccines or mask wearing seem to care little about the freedom of a man and woman to plan their family size.

This is where the “pro-choice” movement has missed the boat. For the most part they have left fathers and families out of the equation. They have allowed the right wing to ignore family rights and men’s rights when it comes to the issue. They have been unwittingly complicit in focusing on this as ONLY a woman’s issue. It is much more than that.

Abortion rights need to be more clearly described for what they are. The right of a dad and mom to decide for themselves how many children they want. A fundamental right of a family to choose . Ending the right to an abortion eliminates the right of the family to determine it’s own destiny. Authoritarianism.

2 Comments

Filed under abortion, Politics, SCOTUS, Society

Zippy versus Ted

February, 2023. The death of another Supreme Court justice has created an opening for President Biden to make another appointment. He put forth over 54 candidates but none of them could pass the now GOP led Senate. All them were rated “excellent” by the US Bar Association, but all were found lacking in some way.

Some were black. Some were women. Some were Jews. Some were Muslims. Some were too tall. Some were too short. Some were right handed. Some were left handed. Some could read and write. Each and every one had some profound defect which prevented them from even being given a hearing by the GOP dominated Senate.

Until Zippy.

Zippy the Chimp had the basic qualifications that Mitch McConnell and Ted Cruz sought for this lifetime appointment. So, President Biden reluctantly relented and sent Zippy to the Senate Judiciary Committee hearings.

It was decided there would be only one camera in the meeting and it would always be focused on the distinguished chairman, Ted (Cancun) Cruz. Cruz had changed the committee rules so only he could ask questions, which upset Senators Cotton and Hawley, who needed camera time as well. But, Ted was adamant. The Democrats refused to participate, claiming (without support) that a chimpanzee is not intellectually qualified to sit on the Court. Ted and Mitch McConnell disagreed, citing Justice Kavanaugh as an example. Ted would rule the committee with an iron hand.

So, here, in its entirety is the transcript.

Ted: Thank you Zippy, for your presence here today. We will keep the meeting very short as I have a plane to catch to Cancun.I do it for my daughters. My lovely daughters. Let’s get to it. For the record, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and all that stuff?

Zippy: Hoot Hoot. (translation: I have no idea what you just said)

Ted: OK. Good answer. How would define banana?

Zippy: (excited) HOOOOT…HOOOT…hoot hoot (translation: Banana! Did I hear banana ? Give me a banana. Give me banana)

Ted: Very good. Do you think that men are men and women are women and blacks are blacks and whites are whites and that is how god made them?

Zippy: Hoot. Hooot…hooooot. (translation: I’m sure you said banana. Where is the banana?)

Ted: Excellent answer. Now, I have this book here called ” Das Kapital”.It was written by someone named Marx, I think it was Harpo Marx, but my staff is researching that right now. Do you think we should be teaching about this , what I call, economic pornography, to our Kindergarteners? Kindergarteners? Many liberal schools are teaching that book right now as we speak.

Zippy: HmmmHmmm …Hoot…hoot…Hmmm (translation: I think you meant Karl Marx, the 19th century economic philosopher and father of communism. What about the banana?)

Ted: I am glad you agree. Moving on. Every life is sacred. When I think of the embryos! Oh, my heart goes out to the embryos. (a small tear appears in his left eye). Don’t you agree that we must stop the madness of a woman deciding for herself how many children she wants. Shouldn’t the government decide that?

Zippy: Hoothoothoot…pant..hoot. (translation: They told me there would be bananas. Where in the name of Jane Goodall are the bananas? This is getting serious!)

Ted: Final question. Big government overreach. How DARE the government tell people to wear a mask or get a vaccine. Big brother. Telling us men what to do. How dare the government decide what is best for me. Don’t you oppose the liberal-communist-socialist agenda designed to take away our basic rights as men?

Zippy: Hoot Pant Hoot Pant …HOOOT..HOOOT. (jumping up and down on the table and banging his coffee mug in frustration, hair standing on end, bristling) (translation: You SOB. I was told there would be bananas. I’m missing reruns of “The Apprentice” for this? INSANE! I’m outta here.)

Zippy leaps away from the table and runs toward the back of the room, knocking over chairs, people and water bottles as he bolts toward the door.

Ted: Well, that was a fine display of concern and emotion. Such passion for the issues. For the Constitution. I know all of my Republican colleagues join me in saying that Mr Zippy is a shoe -in as the next justice of the Supreme court. Bye-bye, Zippy.

Zippy turns, displays his rump to Ted, and scampers away.

And the average IQ of the committee room is lowered by 17 points.

3 Comments

Filed under Politics

The Death of Borys

A few years ago I visited Poland with my brother. On a side trip from Krakow we took a bus trip to see the horrific concentration camps at Auschwitz and Birkenau. (See link below).

Estimates are that 6,000,000 human beings were murdered in these camps. Some , however,survived.

Boryus was one of those survivors. He had survived Buchenwald. He had survived Peenemunde. He had survived Dora. He had survived Bergen-Belsen.

In 2012 Boryus Romanchenko attended a special ceremony celebrating the liberation of Buchenwald. He spoke about the need to create a world where peace and freedom will thrive. An old man who had survived the mot vile political movement designed by man, Naziism.

In 2018 Boryus attended another ceremony at Buchenwald. He was one of the last 3 living survivors of the camp. The last living links to the horror foisted on human beings by the mad man, Hitler.

Boryus was living peacefully in his apartment in Kharkiv, Ukraine, when it was targeted by the Russian attack. A civilian target. An apartment building.

Boryus survived Hitler. Himmler. Goebels.

Boryus lived for 77 years after his liberation. He thought he had survived the worst.

But Boryus Romanchenko, at the age of 96, could not survive Putin.

https://josephurban.wordpress.com/?s=auschwitz

5 Comments

Filed under Politics

Time for a Change

Looks like the US Senate has finally agreed to throw aside partisan politics and solve some important issues. After years of mindless squabbling for partisan advantage, they have come together to deliver a victory to the American way of life.

Hunger? Latest estimates claim that 17,000,000 American children go hungry every day. Nope.

Gun violence? 20,726 gun deaths in 2021. Excluding thousands of suicides. Not today.

Health Insurance? In 2020, over 28,000,000 Americans did not have health insurance at some point during the year. Oops.

Voting rights? State after imposes new hurdles to stop black folks from casting a ballot. No big deal.

Nope. Those issues, while important to some, pale compared to the tough choices made by the Senate.

Time. What time is it? Time for a change. The issue bringing together Mark Rubio and Corey Booker is the issue of time. Is it 5 PM or 4 PM? Do we wake up at 5AM or 6AM? The greatest debating body in the world (as they like to call themselves) have finally decided to take to the floor and debate an issue of timeless importance.

Daylight Savings Time. How should we accept the challenge of time? Right now most Americans are forced to change there clocks twice a year. TWICE!! Outside of wearing a mask to prevent the spread of a deadly virus, can you think of a greater infringement on freedom? The outrage! The unmitigated gall !!

So. Led by the staunchest defender of the rights of men (not women) the Senate UNANIMOUSLY passed a law making time permanent. Little Marco Rubio charged forth and spoke about the tremendous benefits of DST. From his speech…..

““The benefits of Daylight Saving Time have also been accounted for in the research. For example, reduced crime as there’s light later in the day. We’ve seen decreases in child obesity. A decrease in seasonal depression that many feel during Standard Time. ……

“I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’ve watched youth sporting events be called in the middle or near the end of the game, before it’s actually concluded, because there’s not enough lights. …”

The HORROR! Fat kids roaming around. Violence in the streets . Mental illness running rampant. (Nothing to do with poor quality school lunch programs or the easy availability of guns or lack of mental health facilities). These problems are all cause by STANDARD TIME!!! Marco has finally put to bed the myth that people may have problems because of poor government. Nope. It’s all about time.

All those kids who would prefer to be running around after school are instead forced to be in their basements on their computers because of standard time! If only we had known years ago we could have ended crime by simply setting the clocks up one hour!

I am reminded of a study that came out over 20 years ago suggesting that high schools should start later because kids need more sleep and don’t function well in the morning. My own faculty discussed it at the time and while a minority (me, of course) thought it made sense, the idea was quickly dumpstered by the administration. Not based on science. The reason was simple. If we started school and hour later it would cut into the after school sports programs. Education be damned, pass me the ball.

Of course, Little Marco was not alone in his excitement and vocalizations. Across the aisle members speechified about all the wonders of DST. Patty Murray, Dem of Washington state, pointed out that for one day the change over “disrupted” children’s sleeping patterns !! Disrupted sleeping patterns? Tell it to Ukrainian mothers.

And,of course, no debate would be complete without hearing from that proponent of freedom and fashion plate, Senator Sinema. You know, the one who opposes the voting rights of minorities and the Build Back Better bill. The female with the fashion flair . The conscience of white America. According to the NYTimes when the vote was passed, this senator was presiding over the chamber. She shouted “Yes!” and clenched her fists in VICTORY!! One small step for mother time…. one giant leap for …well, something.

So, the sun will rise and the sun will set. And the Senate has decided to decide to put a new number of that phenomenon. Perhaps someone should tell them that the laws of nature still decide the actual time of day. Or maybe not. Why not pass a law eliminating Mondays. We hate Mondays. Call Mondays something like “The Day Before Tuesday”. Sounds pretty good. OR.

Who knows, the Senate might decide to pass a law demanding that the Earth spin on its axis. Might even get Joe Manchin to go along. Maybe.

19 Comments

Filed under Politics

Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. day has come and gone again. The same old “content of their character” line has been parroted by GOP politicians who do everything they can to keep blacks from voting. Again. Yawn. Does anyone with a brain think that these guys believe anything they say? Do their supporters believe them? Do they care?

The 2nd Amendment. Gun toting illiterates continue to read the Constitution very selectively. They ignore the first few words. The part about the well-regulated militia. Which has inspired me . I read the 10 Commandments the same way. Instead of “Thou shalt not steal”or “Thou shalt not bear false witness” I simply ignore the first few words. “…steal”.. “bear false witness”….”covet they neighbors goods”.

The Trump election lie. It continues. It is disturbing. We see Trump and his lemmings claiming he won an election he lost by at least 7,000,000 votes. Trump and his clowns have gone all out fascist. All elections the GOP does not win are stolen. Put election workers in jail. Put all political enemies in jail. Trump is stronger than ever in the GOP and the GOP is more fascist than ever. If you are not terrified you are not paying attention. Or you are a fascist.

Dak Prescott, a football player, makes about $2,500,000 each game he plays. He is paid about $80,000 each time he stands behind the center and the ball is hiked to him. When he tried to run the ball and was unsuccessful at the end of the Dallas-San Francisco game he earned $80,000. If he throws an incomplete pass he earns $80,000. If he fumbles he earns $80,000. How much does a cop, teacher, sanitation worker, etc . make where you live? How many hours of labor to earn $80,000?

Senator Manchin and Sinema (the yacht guy and the fashion doll) refuse to support voting rights for all citizens. The narrative seems to be that these two inferior senators are solely responsible for the end of democracy. Well, hello there. What about the GOP senators. Every one is opposed to voting rights. Every one. The pretend “moderates” like Romney, Collins, Murkowski all oppose voting rights. The “Constitutionalists” like Cruz, McConnel, Rubio all oppose voting rights. Why are they exempt from blame? Do we now just assume that to be a Republican is to be opposed to voting rights?

One an hour. A Washington Post story recently pointed out the incredible violence being done against our children. In 2021 one child was shot , on average, every hour of every day. In the greatest country on Earth. Let me repeat. Every HOUR of every DAY one American child is shot with a gun. This is not an emergency.This is not a problem. This demands no action from government. One child shot every hour of every day. Acceptable. Collateral damage. Just the way it is. Nothing can be done. Over the last 3 years Japan had a total of 38 incidents with guns. Japan has 127,000,000 people. More children were shot in less than 2 days in the US than ALL the people shot in Japan in 3 years. Nothing can be done.

Critical Race Theory must be denied. So says the new governor of Virginia, along with the entire GOP. It cannot be taught to our children, even though it has never been taught to our children. It must be denied. Also, we need to deny the so-called Theory of Gravity. And Germ Theory. And the Heliocentric Theory. Because evidence based theories are just opinions. Evidence no longer exists. Only opinions.

7 Comments

Filed under Politics

Ban the Book, Burn the Book

A Virginia school board has decided they need to ban or even burn some books that are harmful to kids. Well done. These books may have some kind of sexual discussions or bad ideas. Bad ideas. Bad books. Time for a burning.

Normally I am pretty liberal guy but on this score I find myself agreeing with the good Christian school board members. Some books need to be banned, perhaps even burned. Fahrenheit 451 -style. Starter kindle for the football bonfire. Go, team, go. Burn ,baby, burn.

I confess I don’t know exactly which books need to be burned. I am sure there is a list somewhere. But I have a suggestion for an addition to the list if this book is not on it already.

Genocide, incest, masturbation, excessive violence, murder, kidnapping, nudity, prostitution, sodomy, rape and more. Can we keep kids from being exposed to this putrid and disgusting book and the ideas in it? Burn it, baby, burn it.

Let me shock you with some examples of the filth that this book encourages.

Genocide. It calls for the complete destruction of an entire race of people.Including innocent men, women and children who have done no harm to anyone.

Incest. It documents incestuous relationships between a father and daughter. Disgusting.

Masturbation. It talks about masturbation which no child should ever know about.

Excessive violence. It depicts horrendous acts of violence against an innocent man who had never harmed anyone in his life.

Murder. It focuses on the murder of a number of innocent people, and justifies those murders.

Kidnapping. It describes a kidnapping and betrayal of family members by other family members.

Nudity. It justifies nudity as a “natural ” state of being. Ugh!

Prostitution. It defends prostitutes instead of condemning this abuse of women.

Sodomy. It discusses homosexuality and sodomy,which is something our kids need not be exposed to.

Rape. A woman is raped and violated in one part of the book. Outrageous.

And there is much more.

The bad news is that this book is on NO LISTS of books to be banned or burned. For some reason it escapes the close scrutiny of words reserved for books by Toni Morrison and other authors of questionable skin color.

Below are some examples of excerpts from this book, but these examples just scrape the surface. I cannot name the book because I fear being sued by its authors, but an astute investigator can search out the sources for himself. BURN, BABY,BURN. Think of the harm done to our children !!

Genocide: Deuteronomy 20; 16-18

Incest: Genesis 19: 32-35

Masturbation: Leviticus 15: 1-18

Murder: Judges 19:29

Kidnapping: Genesis 37: 12-36

Nudity: Genesis 2:25

Prostitution: Ezekiel 23: 11

Sodomy: Judges 19:22

Rape: Genesis 34: 2-3; Genesis 19

4 Comments

Filed under Politics

A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell

The judge in the Rittenhouse murder trial refuses to allow the victims to be called victims.

The judge said: Don’t you call them victims, just because they was shot.

But you can call them looters, if that’s the word you care.

Attorney: But judgie they was murdered, in cold blood

In the street. They never stole a nickel, so that just don’t seem fair.

The judge: Well, they was demonstrating.

And marching in the street.

Attorney: But marching is all legal.

Just walking with your feet.

The judge: I call em as I see em. And when I see those folks

they look like their itchin for a fight.

Attorney: Not so, my judge, all they was doin

was exercising rights.

The judge: The right to march? well, maybe.

But I don’t like it none.

Attorney: Still, judge is that a reason to

Attack them with a gun?

The judge: The Rittenhouse boy was serving

the interests of the law.

Attorney: The tapes show something different.

Murder is what we saw.

The judge: No, the boy came here to help. To keep the peace

and help the police kick butt.

Attorney: He was a vigilante. A madman and a nut.

The judge: Watch your mouth, attorney, in my courtroom you say only words

that I allow, or else you have to pay.

Attorney: A victim is a victim, by any name you choose.

I expect there’ll be no justice if you control the words I say.

4 Comments

Filed under Politics

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Many years ago I read a book titled “The Nine Nations of North America”. It was a look at the various cultural, economic and political similarities and difference among the various states. It may have included Canada and Mexico but I don’t recall. At any rate, it pointed out the divisions based on geography that have existed and persist in the USA. There have been other books along similar themes since then.

Since 1980 the US has devolved into a greater degree of regionalism, in my opinion. The differences between regions have been hardened by politics. Perhaps it is time to change.

We live in a nation of 330,000,000 people. Too big to govern. Too many competing interests. But more importantly, because of the structure of the government we are in a place where minority rule dominates. Rural areas have more power than their population would demand if the system were truly democratic.

To illustrate, the 25 smallest states have somewhere between 11-12% of the population, yet they control 50% of the votes in the US Senate. This is just about equivalent to the population of California, which controls 2% of the Senate. If you include the filibuster into the mix you can see that states representing about 9% of the population can stop any law from proceeding. Untenable for a democracy.

Since a handful of small states hold virtual veto power over the national government this system will not change. It would take a Constitutional amendment, which these states can easily block. This system makes governing 330,000,000 impossible.

Time to break up the USA into 5 regional governments. Perhaps they could support a common military for defense purposes, but other than that they would be independent. Very similar to the original Articles of Confederation, which failed. But in today’s new world this may be the better system for all. It would end many of the regional disputes over immigration, abortion, socials programs, etc.

So, I propose 5 new nations, united weakly, similar to the United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. A standard military and perhaps currency. But not much else.

What would these nations be?

The Northeast Union. Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland (with DC) and Delaware. Bordered by the Atlantic Ocean, the St. Lawrence Seaway, Canada and Lake Erie.

The South Union.Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Tennessee. Bordered by the Ohio River, the Mississippi River and the Atlantic Ocean.

The Great Lakes Union. Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois and Minnesota. Bordered by the Mississippi River, the Ohio river, the 5 Great Lakes and Canada.

The Central Union. Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Iowa, Arkansas, Missouri, Kansas, Wyoming, South Dakota, North Dakota, Idaho and Montana. Bordered by the Mississippi River, various mountain ranges, the Great Basin, the Rio Grande, the Gulf of Mexico, Mexico and Canada.

The Pacific Union. California, Oregon and Washington. Bordered by the Pacific Ocean, various mountain ranges, the Great Basin, Mexico and Canada.

All of these unions would have outlets for trade. Most have very similar majorities in terms of social, political and economic beliefs about the role of government. Would this be a perfect system? No. But compared to the current system it would be a vast improvement.

There is no doubt that the major issues confronting 330,000,000 people in the USA will never be settled. There will be a constant battle of philosophies. It is the failure of the “melting pot” concept. Because a “melting pot” and “democracy” both assume a certain degree of flexibility and tolerance. Forget it. Not going to happen. It is only going to get worse as political power swings back and forth, or the forces of authoritarianism become entrenched.

Just imagine living in a nation where every two years there is no ongoing battle of philosophies? Where there is majority consensus instead of minority obstruction? Wouldn’t that be better for all of us? We have to accept that the system designed for the 18th century no longer works. It demands a common belief in democracy. That belief no longer exists in many parts of the nation.

Breaking up is hard to do, but in the long term it is best for all parties concerned.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nine_Nations_of_North_America

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Nations

9 Comments

Filed under Politics

The Bullet that Saved America

On January 6, 2021 the thugs had the upper hand.

They had broken into the Capitol building. They had beaten police. They had broken windows. They had crapped on the floor. They had flown the flag of traitors.

They had one goal.

To stop democracy. Their leader had been badly defeated in an election, yet he refused to cede power. The duly elected Congress was set to certify the election results. To make official what was real.

But if the mob could stop the Congress they could overturn the will of the people.

The plot was obvious. Hang Mike Pence. Kill Nancy Pelosi. Take over the Congress. Kill as many representatives of the people as they could get their hands on.

Then their man could step in. He could claim that the nation was in crisis. He could install marshal law. For the good of the nation. He could claim that Joe Biden had never been officially certified as the next president. He could claim that he would need to be in charge until all of this chaos could subside. Only he could fix it. He would never leave office. Democracy would be dead.

It might have worked. It was a clever plan. After all, he might have the support of the Supreme Court, where he had appointed one-third of the members. Or he might not. No matter, he would ignore the courts just as he had ignored the Constitution.

If only his thugs could stop the Congress from affirming the election. All he needed was a delay. A little time.

So, while the thugs attacked democracy their leader watched on TV. Encouraged. Delighted. Hopeful. All was going as planned. All they needed to do was break through one more door.

One door, barricaded and held by a handful of police, was all that stood between dictatorship and democracy. One door whose glass was shattered by the mob. A mob that had overrun the police and were banging and smashing all that stood in their way.

The glass shattered. An opening appeared. A hole in the dike. Enough for one thug to slip through, then another, then another, than a wave of thugs. One small chance to destroy Congress and turn democracy on its head. The world turned upside down.

In 1837 the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson penned a verse about the brave farmers of New England in 1775. Who stood up to the forces of the divinely ordained king in the name of democracy. A “shot heard round the world”.

On January 6, 2021 a Capitol police lieutenant named Michael Byrd stood alone. The only patriot standing between the thugs and democracy. Facing the mob he stood, gun in hand. Alone. He could not let them pass. He would not let them pass.

The door was breached. The thugs, determined to destroy American democracy, had finally broken through.

So Lt. Byrd aimed and fired. “A shot heard round the world”.

A thug fell. And the other thugs retreated. They fell back. As cowards always do when confronted . Congress was saved. Pence was saved. Pelosi was saved. America was saved.

Lt. Michael Byrd, just a normal American cop who had done his duty. Undone the plot to destroy democracy. Stopped the thugs in their tracks.

The bullet that saved America.

4 Comments

Filed under Elections, government, Politics, Trump, US, violence

When I’m 5

FREEDOM! FREEDOM NOW !

Indeed, we live in perilous times. The “government ” in many states and localities are trying to force our children to wear masks and do social distancing at schools! Or be vaccinated. Enforcing good and sane health policies on our tykes.

Who ever heard of schools forcing kids to be vaccinated. That is as unAmerican as slavery and 3rd rate sitcoms. But I digress. As usual.

On the other hand, many adult Americans are demanding freedom. Freedom to spew their virus entombed in saliva onto the rest of us. And, they demand the right of their children to spew their viral spittle on everyone else’s children.

Freedom isn’t free. It is paid for by the blood, sweat and intubation of America’s kids. Hey, somebody has to stand up, (or lie quietly gagging away their life), for FREEDOM.

Which reminds me of a little girl I knew many years ago.

It was our 4 year old neighbor. A little pixie who was , shall I say, actively active. Over active? Hyperactive? You get the point.

Her young parents were fervent fundamentalists who kept a tight grip on her at all times. Tried to, at least. Her natural enthusiasm for life was contained by structure and rules which she hated immensely. In her case, a short leash was the only way her parents knew to control her. Spare the rod.They did not.

She and I were discussing some important issues one day (her upcoming 5th birthday) when one of her parents called her home. She did not want to go and ignored the plea. A second call was more forceful so she knew she had no choice but to , at least for now, do what she was told.

She pouted. Folded her arms , and after sending a chilling glare in the direction of her progenitor, she looked at me and said: “When I am 5, NO ONE is going to tell ME what to do”.

Sad to say, when it comes to common sense, decency and public health, we have a very large population of 5 year olds now on display. The pouting, petulant purveyors of phony “freedom”. No one is going to tell them what to do.

A good time to be an intubator salesman.

1 Comment

Filed under healthcare, Politics, Society, United States

Magnetto Man

News Item:

“In recent days and weeks, several reports have emerged of people in India claiming that they have been miraculously imbued with the power of magnetism upon taking a dose of one of the COVID-19 vaccines currently in circulation. 

From a man in Jharkhand’s Hazaribagh to another in Maharashtra’s Nashik to a woman from Bengaluru, videos showing individuals with various metallic items like spoons, forks and coins appearing to stick to their bodies have been shared extensively on social media platforms. …”

I had my covid vaccine a few months ago and then some strange things started happening to me. Now, I read about those poor folks in India who became magnetized and I felt bad for them. Magnets in the vaccine ! But I never thought it could happen to me. Here is my story. Beware, it is a sad tale.

The day after my second shot I noticed that every time I went outside my head automatically turned to face the north. Like I was a human compass. Which was OK since I often get lost and now I have a clear idea of where I should go.

I walked into town and headed for a an Italian restaurant. The silverware kept leaping up and sticking to my arms . I decided to try a Chinese restaurant instead, since they would have chopsticks. On my way out all the coins left as tips on the tables flew into my hands. Pretty good deal.

Now, at the China House at least I could eat with wooden chopsticks. Made me wonder though. Could those tiny magnets that are in all the vaccines be a Chinese plot, to sell more food? Just thinking. Anyway, the chopstick thing worked pretty good except for the egg drop soup. Took me 45 minutes to finish the bowl.

I thought I better go home…easy with my new “due North” body… and drove my car to the big city. Problem was I couldn’t get out. I mean I was sticking to the entire metal body like a slug on a cucumber. Luckily the local fire department arrived and excised me with the “Jaws of Life”. So much for my Corvair.

I did make a slight error in judgement while doing some outdoor chores. I would not advise cutting up firewood with a chainsaw. Almost lost my nose. The axe wasn’t much better. Ever try to chop wood with a year old pumpkin? It doesn’t work too well.

I am, of course, well known for my magnetic personality but this is ridiculous. I can’t go into the kitchen any longer since I get slammed up against the appliances like an oversized refrigerator magnet. I can only thank the Almighty that toilets are porcelain.

Playing golf is a bit harder. Although, to be honest, it hasn’t really effected my overall score. Every time I tee off the driver keeps hitting me in the head, so that hasn’t changed.

Fortunately help is on the way. I talked to my doctor the other day and he arranged a hospital visit for me. I have very high hopes that this magnetic vaccine issue will soon be cured. Thanks to my insistence I have an appointment for an MRI next week and that should sort things out.

7 Comments

Filed under Politics

Memorial Day Fantasy

A conversation between a 9 year old girl and her mother, overheard on May 31, 2121.

“Mommy, I heard in school that today was going to be the last Memorial Day. Is that true?”

“Yes, dear, this is the last Memorial Day. So, let’s go watch the parade, wave our flags and enjoy the day.”

“But, mommy, why is this the LAST Memorial Day?”

“Well, do you know why we have Memorial Day in the first place?”

“No, mommy, I don’t. What is it, anyway?”

“Memorial Day is the day we remember and honor those soldiers who have died in wars. All the wars since the Civil War. And World War 2. And the Vietnam War. And all the Iran wars. All of them. We remember soldiers who died.”

“So… we remember soldiers who died. But I don’t remember any soldiers dying.”

“You are too young. You see, governments used to go to war and send soldiers to kill each other. It was the way things were in the past.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. Why send soldiers to die? Who would be so cruel? Why do that?”

“Some claimed they were defending freedom. Some said it was to steal oil or other resources. Some said it was simply hatred of other people who looked or believed differently from them. Some said it was for land. All kinds of reasons were given. But no matter what the reason the result was the same. Soldiers sent to kill other soldiers. And to die.”

“That’s stupid. I feel sorry for the poor soldiers who had to die. That’s not fair…. But why is today the LAST Memorial Day?”

“Why? Because no one makes wars any more. The last soldier has been buried. The people of the world said “enough”. No land, no oil, no belief is worth sending my boy to die. So, this is the last time we will ever spend a day honoring the dead. There will be no more dead . Not from wars. This is the last Memorial Day”

A fantasy.

2 Comments

Filed under government, Politics, United States

The $10 Lazies

This Congress passed a bill giving all unemployed Americans an additional $300 a month to help them until they can return to the workplace. I t was part of the massive covid relief bill which had unanimous Democratic support. And unanimous GOP rejection. As in all laws the GOP does not like, many GOP-run states are simply refusing to enforce it. They are rejecting the additional monies which help the poorest working families in their states.

As of 2 days ago the following states, all with Republican governments, chose to not allow their unemployed citizens the additional funding. Montana, Iowa, North Dakota, Idaho, Wyoming, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, Tennessee and Missouri have all told their poor unemployed: Sorry, no extra help for you. Yesterday, Ohio joined the parade.

To be clear, this money comes from the federal government. Which means most of it comes from the “blue” states which have been subsidizing the “red ” states for years. So, I suppose, those of us who have been keeping the welfare states afloat should be happy. Less money being drained from us.

A semi-intelligent person (me, for example) might ask the question: Why would the leadership of a state refuse free help for the workers in that state?Working families who need temporary assistance to pay the bills. How does that benefit, say, Idaho?

The governors of those states have the answer. If you give these unemployed workers all this money, they will refuse to work. They will sit on their fat (ethnic) butts and do nothing. As we break this down to dollars and cents.

The additional $300 a month breaks down to $10 per day. $10 per day. So, the Republican governors believe (do they?) that an additional $10 a day will keep people from going back to work.The lazy bastards are just sitting around rather than going out and getting a job for $7.25 (as in Idaho) . How are businesses going to get workers for $ 7.25 an hour when the lazy bastards can sit home and make 10 bucks a day?!

I understand the philosophy behind this. After all, the GOP in these states support keeping wages low for the working poor and profits high for non-working rich. I respect that philosophy. It is as old as the grand old Confederacy. Crush workers. No unionization. No benefits. Keep a population completely dependent and willing to take any job at any wage just to survive. It is a long held noble philosophy of the right wing.

But, being a practical man, I do not understand one thing. The federal government is giving workers an additional $10 a day. What are they going to do with that extra money? Invest it in the stock market? Put it away in their “Yacht Savings Account”? Maybe spend it on a Disney World vacation?

I would suggest that this $10 a day would be spent immediately. At the local grocery store. At the auto mechanic. Paying the bill to the local utility company. Shoes for kids. A visit to the local doctor. All of this additional money would go directly into the local economy. Which would create…uh…more jobs.

So, congratulations to the GOP states. You have not only deprived your own citizens (Of course, you don’t see working people as “your” citizens). You have taken money out of local economies. Money that would help keep the local grocer, mechanic, etc. afloat. Hard to figure.

13 Comments

Filed under Congress, economics, Economy, GOP, governor, minimum wage, Politics, Society, workers

Bamboo-zled

There is an audit going on in Maricopa County. The audit is being performed to make sure that all the votes cast for president in Maricopa County, Arizona were legal. In order to try to understand exactly what is going on I have contacted my boyhood friend, Teddy “The Hammer” Flortasky who is one of the auditors. Here is what I discovered in my ZOOM interview.

Me: Hi Teddy, how are you doing.

Teddy: I am doing fine. By the way, I prefer that you call me by my nickname, “The Hammer”.

Me: OK, Hammer. I often wondered how you go that nickname. Were you a football lineman who “hammered” your opponent? Or were you on the wrestling team , with a patented “hammer” move? Or on the track team, throwing the “hammer”? I don’t recall you participating in those areas.

The Hammer: Nah, none of those. I was given that nickname by my father. As a teenager I helped him in the workshop. He had me get his tools. One day he was building a box and needed to pound in some nails. He told me to go get a tool. I brought back a screwdriver. He said, “No, I am pounding in nails”. So, I went and brought him a pair of pliers. He said, “No, I am pounding in nails”. So, I went and found a saw and brought it to him. He got angry and shouted,”The hammer, the hammer”. So, that nickname stuck. I kinda liked it.

Me: OK . So, you are now auditing the Maricopa County ballots, but haven’t they already been counted twice?

TH: Well, the fact is that those official audits were done by the state election officials. Can’t believe them. We know Trump won Arizona so obviously the recounts were not fair. When we finish the recount I can guarantee that Trump has won.

Me: Well, what are your qualifications for doing the audit. I mean, the previous audits were done in public by impartial trained auditors. You are behind closed doors with a private company. With untrained, partisan auditors. In secret. So, what is your training.

TH: I work for the Cyber Ninjas. Do you know what Ninjas are? They are best fighters. They understand Q’Anon. So, that is proof right there. They are the best. You can tell by the name. What training do I have? What training do I need? I am a proud American . I can count. In third grade I got the gold star for counting. Anyway, my job is not to count the ballots. My boss told me my job was to NOT count the bad ballots. We must not count bad ballots.

ME: How do you know a ballot is bad? I mean, haven’t they already been verified? What is a bad ballot?

TH: So happy you asked. I have been trained to spot bad ballots. First, any ballot that was filled out for Biden is likely to be a bad ballot. We set that one aside. If it looks like maybe the person meant to vote for Trump but made a mistake and voted for Biden, we count that as a Trump vote. Now, other Biden ballots must be thoroughly examined for bamboo.

ME: Bamboo? Why bamboo? What does bamboo have to do with anything?

TH: Boy are you naive. We know, for a fact, that over 40,000 ballots filled out for Biden were shipped to Maricopa County by some Asian people. And , coincidentally, Biden won the county by 40,000 votes. Do the math. Wait, let me get my calculator…. wait…. and subtract….. So, my calculator tells me that those 40,000 votes, if taken away from Biden, gives him 40,000 fewer votes in Arizona. And voila! Trump wins. But, back to bamboo. These bamboo ballots must have come from Asia, since that is the only place bamboo grows. Figure it out. Ballots with bamboo. Asia. It’s obvious.

ME: Have you found any bamboo in any ballots? How do you check for that?

TH: Easy, hold it up to the light. If it’s a Biden ballot it probably has bamboo. It has bamboo, it must be from Asia. Must be from Asia, throw it out. Figure it out. Bamboo is bad. UnAmerican.

ME: Actually, there are bamboo groves in other countries, not just in Asian countries.

TH: Maybe so, but not in the good old US of A, my friend. So, no matter where, the ballots are fake if they have bamboo.

ME: There are bamboo groves in the US, so maybe the bamboo paper came from the USA?

TH: Maybe, but only in the liberal states. So, it would be liberal bamboo. See my point.

ME: There are at least 4 bamboo groves in Hawaii. Pipiwai Trail, Manoa Trail, Makaleha Trail and the Allerton Botanical Garden all have bamboo groves.

TH: See, you prove my point, no bamboo in the USA.

ME: OK…But there are also bamboo forests in the Wilderness Bamboo Forest in Alabama, The Koreshan State Park in Florida, and the East Palisades Trail in Georgia. In fact, there are 3 species of bamboo that are native to the United States. So, how to you know where the bamboo comes from. It even grows in Arizona.

TH: You see how devious the Democrats are? Not only did they use Asian bamboo, but they also used American bamboo to fool people like you. You need to just look at the facts. Trump won. We know it. Now, it’s just a matter of time before we prove it. Don’t be fooled by evidence.

With that we signed off on ZOOM and The Hammer went back to holding up Biden ballots to the light, searching for Asian bamboo. And you know what. I think they are going to find at least 40,000 ballots to throw out. It wouldn’t be the first time we have been bamboozled.

10 Comments

Filed under Elections, Joe Biden, logic, Politics, president, Trump, United States

The New Network

Greetings from your cable TV provider. We are happy to offer you our new Platinum America Package. For only $4.99* a month we can add the Platinum America Package to your cable package. A great value, for only $4.99* a month will provide you with the following great America networks.

Here is what the only $4.99* a month will get you!

TCN… The Trump Court Network. Follow all the lawsuits filed against the greatest 45th President of the United States. Charges of tax fraud in New York. Election tampering in Georgia. Inciting the riot in DC. Rape allegations. Payoffs to former “girl friends”. Get it all here . Don’t miss a moment of the trials. The verdict is in: TCN is a winner.

GDT… Gun Deaths Today. Approximately 100 Americans are murdered each day by guns. All kinds of wonderful guns. That’s an equivalent number of deaths caused by one terror attack on 9/11, each and EVERY MONTH. Yet, most stations only cover the big ones, the mass shootings. But mass shootings are just a small part of the story. Stop ignoring the little guy. Every day, the GDT will bring you as many of murders as possible. Including our TOP TEN innocents killed. Don’t be left out. Keep up with the ongoing story of murders in America on Gun Deaths Today.

EMT… EMergency room Traumas… It’s finally here. Your one stop channel for all the traumas caused by the bullets entering the flesh. Gun deaths are only part of the picture. One of the most ignored stories in America. Every year gun related traumas cost society over $1 billion. Thousands of hospital beds are taken up by injured citizens. Yet this great story goes unreported. Keep up. Maybe your local hospital will be featured on the Trauma of the Week.

ICE… Immigrant Criminal Everyday. Get the latest on all the crimes committed by immigrants. US citizens are 2 and a half times more likely to commit violent crimes than illegal immigrants. But don’t let the evidence fool you. There is still PLENTY of criminal activity by illegal immigrants. Many don’t even have driver’s licenses!! But the ICE will keep you up to date on the latest public intoxication, shoplifting, jaywalking and other immigrant crimes. All day, every day. ! (Note: If your current package already includes Fox News this network will be redundant).

TGC… Trump Golf Championships. Follow the golfing adventures of the 45th President of the United States as he tours the championship tournaments of his own golf courses. Over the years he has won more tournaments on his own course that any golfer, living or dead. Watch as he wins title after title. The only man to ever win a golf tournament that he didn’t show up for ! Watch as his opponents’ balls mysteriously end up in sand traps after appearing to land on the green. See how his shots which seem to enter the woods are miraculously located in the center of the fairway. Don’t miss a single shot.

PSAH… Politician Sex Abuse Hotline. Open 24 hours a day. This hotline is there for you to report the latest sexual assault by your local politician. Been grabbed by the pussy lately? Kissed on the neck? Have your tits rubbed? Your ass patted? Propositioned in a public toilet? Have a child who wondered why the big man wanted to do that? Just give the hotline a call. BUT, Please be patient , as our 56 operators are always busy with another caller.

FUQ… Fantasy Unlimited with Q’Anon. Our newest, most funnest game show. Contestants vie for big prizes trying to decide which story is real and which is a Q’Anon fantasy. Jews using lasers to start the California fires? Sasquatch illegally voting in Georgia? The Clintons running a child sex trafficking ring? Is Trump really still the president? These and other fantasies are explained. Then you, the viewer, can earn prizes while voting on the best fantasies. Prizes include Viking horn hats, pink replica AR-15s and tickets to the Matt Gaetz Childrens’ Show and Tell Circus.

VST… Voter Suppression Today. Every day another state passes laws suppressing the votes. How can we keep up? Is it Georgia? Is it Arizona? Ohio? Mississippi? So many states and so little time. The VST makes it easy. Every day we bring you Republican lawmakers explaining how they are preventing blacks, students and other undesirables from voting. Keep democracy white. Watch the VST and feel good for a change. But don’t forget to bring your own water!!

GMK… Gerry the Mander for Kids. What package would be complete without a channel for the kids? Follow the hilarious exploits of that goofy guy we all love, Gerry the Salamander. He contorts himself into all kinds of weird shapes and forms as he travels from state to state helping the lawmakers draw new districts that are “just right”. This lovable cartoon character has all the answers for the kids. How do you stay in power with just a few votes? How to pack districts to make sure you win? And the kids can play along and help Gerry fix election after election. Both fun and a learning experience!

*$ 4.99 for the first month, $18.99 thereafter.

8 Comments

Filed under blacks, Clinton, Conservatives, Democrats, entertainment, GOP, government, immigrants, Politics, president, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States

The End of Parody

I like to try to write parody. But lately I find myself unable to compete with “reality”. It is extremely frustrating to try to outdo the current bunch of loonies masquerading as normal folks. For example. A brief summary of what the CPAC and their loons find essential to our nation. I should note that at the first day of CPAC no one mentioned the Covid relief needed by Americans. Unemployment. War. All non-issues to the major conservative “thinkers”.

The Muppets. Evidently the Muppets are somehow central to the right wing philosophy. I recall in the past that the conservatives hated the Muppets for “indoctrinating” our children with political correctness, like diversity. But no longer. According to CPAC, the Muppets have been cancelled.

For some reason Disney, which now owns the Muppets, saw fit to issue a “warning” that some of the Muppet shows may deal with stereotyping. So, this warning , according to CPAC , means the Muppets are victims of “cancel culture”. I am sure Miss Piggy will not take this sitting down.

For sake of full disclosure, Disney put forth the same warnings on “the Aristocrats”, “Swiss Family Robinson”, “Peter Pan” and “Dumbo”.

So, this little disclaimer is one of the major issues at CPAC. I am not sure who is harmed by this disclaimer. I mean, we are talking about the Muppets. It is possible that the CPAC members don’t understand that the Muppets are not real people. The live their entire non-existent lives as colorful pieces of cloth with human hands manipulating their hands and arms and with a hand stuck up their butts. They have no brains. They have no independent motions… Oh, wait. I just figured out why the Trump supporting CPAC members find this offensive.

Then there is the strange case of Mr Potato Head. The demise of Mr Potato Head by Hasbro is, according to CPAC, another example of the skid of our society into the depths of despair. Canceling this American icon is tantamount to blowing up the sculpture of Lincoln on Mount Rushmore. The final example of political correctness gone amok. How dare the liberals, in the name of gender equality, throw spud into the fire? How dare Hasbro to make a hash out of national icon? The horror! Oh God! Au Gratin!

OK, so Hasbro did not really turn Mr Potato Head into fries. What Hasbro did was change their own logo from “MR.” Potato Head to just “Potato Head”. That’s it. A private company changed with the times. Mr Potato Head is still around, as is Mrs. Potato Head and even Baby Potato Head. Still, the major conservative political organization is outraged by this. This is a major issue !

I recall Mr Potato Head from my youth. I have always found him(?) to be strangely gender neutral. Being a curious youth and a more curious adult and a potato grower myself I have tried for years to identify the gender of Yukon Gold and Norland. To no avail. Search as I might, I have never been able to locate a penis or vagina on any spud. And believe me I have tried. Which makes me wonder. Is Mrs Potato Head simply a transvestite? A transgender veggie? Have our children been victimized for years by this liberal plot to make us immune to the realities of sexually ambiguous vegetables? At least cucumbers leave no doubt about sexual orientation.

Finally, PAC rolled out the parody of all parodies. The Golden Ass statute of their god. The Golden Trump. Complete with patriot red, white and blue panties. An icon worthy of worship. This organization devoted to personal freedom and independence bowing down to the golden icon of the golden con. The golden wheeler dealer on wheels. A false god worthy of worship by false conservatives.

At first I was certain this statue was a liberal trick. A joke meant to poke fun at the CPAC worship of the most anti-freedom former president since James Buchanan. Certainly this would exposed as an Al Franken stunt or a SNL skit. An obviously foolish jibe at the brainless, mindless followers of the Golden Khan.

But no. The golden statue is real. The complaints about the puppets are real. The outrage over the naming of a vegetable toy is real.

The end of parody. How do you top that?

4 Comments

Filed under Conservatives, cpac, Cruz, gay rights, GOP, minimum wage, Neoconservative, Politics, Radicals, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States

I Don’t Understand

I consider myself a pretty smart guy. Well, folks that know me are quite aware that I consider myself a fantastically smart guy. And they are right.

But some things I don’t understand. Like Ted Cruz.

Ted is currently involved in a scandal. He flew out of Texas to go to Cancun with his family. In the middle of a major disaster for the people of his state. And he is being mocked for it. Mercilessly.

According to various reports, Ted is the most hated man in the Senate. By other Senators. Lindsey Graham once said that if someone killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate and the Senate was the place for the trial, the perpetrator would be found not guilty. Hey… that rings a bell.

Then there is the Green woman from Georgia. A Q’anoner. An absolute nutcase. A space laser from the Jews started the California fires kind of nutcase. Makes the birthers seem like geniuses.

What I do get. I get there are plenty of people out there who are on the wrong side of the River Normal. Who have climbed Mount Stupid and can’t figure out how to get back down. I get that. OK.

What I don’t get. I don’t get how so many seemingly ordinary people can send these certified idiots to lead our government. I don’t get how so many people think these loons are the people who should be making our laws.

Voter suppression. The power of money. I can think of all the possible reasons for these inferiors winning elections. But it does not add up . How can a majority of ANY GROUP of people in any district or any community think that folks like Ted Cruz or The Green Q are fit to be making our laws. Making our laws. The most important job in America. How can they think that is a good idea?

So, I am stumped. I don’t get it.

14 Comments

Filed under GOP, government, Politics, Radicals, United States

GOP on Trial

There is an impeachment trial in the Senate. A trial which seeks to prevent Mr Trump from ever holding office again.

A man demanded total loyalty from the GOP. Total loyalty from Mike Pence. And Mike Pence was the main target of the Trump mob.

Let’s be clear. Mr Trump spent months planning and setting the stage to overthrow the government. He knew he could not win a fair election. And unlike 2016, this time the US government was ready for the Russian shenanigans. He had no chance . He knew it.

So, on January 6 he incited the mob he had called to DC to “Stop the Steal”. There was only one way Mr Trump could stay in power. Decapitate the Congress, disrupt the counting of the votes and declare martial law. He would declare that he would stay in power “for the good of the country”.

That was the plan. And he tried to implement it.

So, this trial is a done deal. Trump is guilty. And he will be found not guilty. Again. Of course.

This is not really a trial of Donald Trump, however. It is the GOP that is on trial. It is the GOP that will vote . It is the GOP that will be judged.

The GOP has reached the end of the road. They have a choice. Vote for democracy or vote for fascism. The choice is clear. The GOP will embrace democracy or fascism. What will they decide?

Is there any longer any doubt?

10 Comments

Filed under Politics