I Don’t Understand

I consider myself a pretty smart guy. Well, folks that know me are quite aware that I consider myself a fantastically smart guy. And they are right.

But some things I don’t understand. Like Ted Cruz.

Ted is currently involved in a scandal. He flew out of Texas to go to Cancun with his family. In the middle of a major disaster for the people of his state. And he is being mocked for it. Mercilessly.

According to various reports, Ted is the most hated man in the Senate. By other Senators. Lindsey Graham once said that if someone killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate and the Senate was the place for the trial, the perpetrator would be found not guilty. Hey… that rings a bell.

Then there is the Green woman from Georgia. A Q’anoner. An absolute nutcase. A space laser from the Jews started the California fires kind of nutcase. Makes the birthers seem like geniuses.

What I do get. I get there are plenty of people out there who are on the wrong side of the River Normal. Who have climbed Mount Stupid and can’t figure out how to get back down. I get that. OK.

What I don’t get. I don’t get how so many seemingly ordinary people can send these certified idiots to lead our government. I don’t get how so many people think these loons are the people who should be making our laws.

Voter suppression. The power of money. I can think of all the possible reasons for these inferiors winning elections. But it does not add up . How can a majority of ANY GROUP of people in any district or any community think that folks like Ted Cruz or The Green Q are fit to be making our laws. Making our laws. The most important job in America. How can they think that is a good idea?

So, I am stumped. I don’t get it.

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Filed under GOP, government, Politics, Radicals, United States

GOP on Trial

There is an impeachment trial in the Senate. A trial which seeks to prevent Mr Trump from ever holding office again.

A man demanded total loyalty from the GOP. Total loyalty from Mike Pence. And Mike Pence was the main target of the Trump mob.

Let’s be clear. Mr Trump spent months planning and setting the stage to overthrow the government. He knew he could not win a fair election. And unlike 2016, this time the US government was ready for the Russian shenanigans. He had no chance . He knew it.

So, on January 6 he incited the mob he had called to DC to “Stop the Steal”. There was only one way Mr Trump could stay in power. Decapitate the Congress, disrupt the counting of the votes and declare martial law. He would declare that he would stay in power “for the good of the country”.

That was the plan. And he tried to implement it.

So, this trial is a done deal. Trump is guilty. And he will be found not guilty. Again. Of course.

This is not really a trial of Donald Trump, however. It is the GOP that is on trial. It is the GOP that will vote . It is the GOP that will be judged.

The GOP has reached the end of the road. They have a choice. Vote for democracy or vote for fascism. The choice is clear. The GOP will embrace democracy or fascism. What will they decide?

Is there any longer any doubt?

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Filed under Politics

Racist or Stupid?

Barack Obama: Good evening folks. Time to play the latest game especially for Republicans. It’s time to play “Racist or Stupid?”

Barack: First our contestants. From Powder Puff Hill, Ohio we have a 67 year old retired washer woman, Karen Kumquat. And from Gulch Gulch, Texas a 34 year old unemployed student of UFO studies, Dwayne Wayne Layne Jumaine.

Barack: OK. First question . Remember the first one to stamp your feet and cry “I was cheated” gets to answer. Every answer must be either “Racist” or “Stupid”. Ready?

Barack: First statement. Muslim people are all terrorists….. Dwayne?

Dwayne: uh… racist?

Barack: Good job, Dwayne. Next statement. Donald Trump is the best president ever….. Karen?

Karen: That’s racist.

Barack: Sorry Karen, not correct,…. Dwayne?

Dwayne: That’s a racist statement.

Barack: Uh. No , that was just stupid. Next statement. Trump won more popular votes than Joe Biden…. Karen?

Karen: True.

Barack: No, Karen, you have to answer “racist” or “stupid”… Dwayne?

Dwayne: True.

Barack: No, sorry, you are both wrong. The correct answer was “stupid”. Let’s try this one. Votes in Philadelphia, Detroit and Atlanta should not count…. Dwayne?

Dwayne: True.

Barack: No, Dwayne, the ONLY answers are “racist” or “stupid”…. Karen?

Karen: Greatest president ever.

Barack: No, Karen, that’s not correct. Correct answer was “racist”. Ok… One final statement. QANON is the truth and we must all follow Q….. Karen?

Karen: Yes. We must all follow Q. I agree.

Barack: NO. Please remember the answers to the statements…. Dwayne? Racist or Stupid?

Dwayne: Both. Because QANON is really a false flag operation of Antifa. And Antifa is racist.

Barack: I give up. That’s it for tonight. So, saying good bye for now. Dwaye and Karen, any last words?

Dwayne: Racist!

Karen: Stupid!

Amen.

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Filed under government, Joe Biden, Politics, racism, Republicans, Trump, United States

Farewell Address, 2021

Many presidents give a farewell address when they leave office. Washington warned about entangling alliances for the young, weak republic. Eisenhower warned about the military-industrial complex, whose power we see flexed daily. Clinton outlined his accomplishments and called for national unity.

Some of Mr Trump’s advisors have been encouraging him to follow suit. He should speak to the American people about his accomplishments and thoughts about the future.

One of the last members of the administration still working at the White House happens to be a dear friend. He is the advisor to the keeper of the First Lady’s closet and information director for the chauffeur of Don Trump , Junior’s wife’s mother. (A lot of vacancies at this time require multiple posts to be filled). He is also the top speech writer for Kelly Anne Conway, Sean Hannity, Bobo the Talking Chimp and President Trump. I know, it sounds redundant.

At any rate, he leaked the Trump “Final Address to the Nation by the Best President Ever and Ever Will Be. Maybe the Final, Maybe Not.””

Here goes:

My fellow Americans, 4 years ago I promised to rid this government of experts, intelligent advisors, men and women of character and decency. And I succeeded. MAGA.

My accomplishments, which are the best accomplishments ever in the history of the world are amazing. That’s not what I say. That’s what people say. Many fine people. So many people say that. So many.

I have transformed this country from one where decency and honest disagreements can be fought on the battle ground of ideas, to one where real patriots fight on the steps of the Capitol. I won. I won. I won.

My followers have shown us what America CAN be if we follow my path. From the torch lit nights in Charlottesville filled with many fine people, to the patriots who beat to death the police officer in the Capitol. From the knee on the neck of George Floyd to the cages used to house children ripped from their parents arms. Brown children. We are now living in MY America. I love em all. Give em hell.

But enough about me. Let me talk about my accomplishments over the last 4 years.

I have packed the court with radical judges that will, for generations to come, repress the liberty of women and the communists. No president has ever made so many judges. I don’t know many of them. But Mitch handed me a list and I did my duty. I did what I was told and how does he repay me!

I promised to build a wall to keep out the brown skinned Mexicans and others. I built over 400 miles. Well, I built 40 new miles, the other 360 miles was substituting new wall for barricades that already existed. And Mexico is paying for it. I promise. We are paying these wonderful contractors now, but eventually Mexico will pay. They will. Eventually. Just like I promised.

I hired the best cabinet ever. With no regard for expertise, training or capability, I assembled a cabinet full of sycophants, liars, grifters and clowns never seen before in America. A millionaire Education secretary that knew nothing about education. Some Chinese woman married to Mitch who knew nothing about transportation. Some black guy who used to be a doctor, I put him in charge of Housing for the Negroes. (That’s why the Negroes love me). And a few of my appointees still have NOT been indicted for grifting . The BEST people. MAGA

I became good friends with Kim Jung Un and now he has promised to end his nuclear program. I love that little guy. He just added some nukes on submarines and is developing short range missiles that can hit targets in South Korea. And long range ones to target the USA. But he promised not to use them. A victory for me. Anyway, that’s Biden’s problem.

I took us out of the Climate Change Agreements and Iran nuclear deal. A couple hoaxes . Now, the evil Iranians are developing new nuclear capabilities, just as I predicted. And there is no climate change, it’s still winter in some places. I don’t see any polar bears in Florida, do you? Duh. Two more victories for me.

Now, about the economy. In my first 3 years, BEFORE the Chinese virus, my massive tax breaks to the wealthy created almost as many jobs as the Negro did in his last three years. Almost. And I leave you with the highest unemployment data since the Great Depression !! The so-called experts said it couldn’t be done, but I am the first president in modern times to leave office with fewer Americans employed than when he took office ! MAGA

I told you that fake pandemic would disappear and it has. Almost 400,000 dead Americans, and with each death another virus dies. That’s how you kill a virus. Plus, I had the virus and now it is gone! So, what’s the problem? The Chinese virus was just an attempt to make me look bad. It has disappeared from all my speeches and comments. Where is it? Where did it go? Who knows? Can’t find it.

As in regard to my good friend, Vlad Putin. We had many great meetings. People said they were the best meetings ever. Imagine that? The best ever. No one gives Vlad better meetings than me. No one. Even the Politiburo said so. I wish I could share with you the notes for those meetings. But they got lost.

So, as I leave the White House as the first president elected TWICE in a landslide I leave you with this thought. In 1923 a patriot in Bavaria named Adolph led a mob and tried to violently overthrow the government. He failed. He went to prison but was quickly pardoned. 10 years later he became the chancellor of the German republic.

So take heart. Anything is possible in politics. And keep those torches burning, it ain’t over by a long shot. MAGA

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Filed under Ben Carson, blacks, Clinton, Economy, Elections, GOP, government, Joe Biden, police brutality, Politics, POTUS, president, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States, violence

The Super Bowl Jets

The New York Jets are having a bad year. So, being a scoundrel, I thought I would rub some salt into the wound of my friend, Jim Bob Googly, a rabid Jets fan. So, I gave him a call.

Me: Howdy Jim Bob. Are you still living in the trailer behind the trailer in the Lubbock, Texas Trailer Park for the Mentally Illogical?

JB: Yepper, Joey, old boy. You suck.

Me: Just called to offer my condolences. Looks like the guys you follow are in the toilet this year.

JB: Whattya talkin about?

Me: I am talking about the New York Jets “football” team. Although I am not sure why a hick from Texas would be supporting a crappy team from New York.

JB: I hate New York, but I make an exception in the Jets case. They are the richest team out there. Major bucks. Best team ever. More money than any other team. By far. I back the winner!

ME: Well, the Jets are actually the 6th most valuable franchise, down 11% from last year. They are behind Dallas, New England, New York Giants, Los Angeles Rams and San Francisco. Still, 6th is pretty good.

JB: Bullshit. Fake news. The Jets are the tops. Don’t be fooled by the mainstream media.

Me: Whatever. You do know that the Jets have not won a single game this year, don’t you? They are 0 for 13. Major losers.

JB: That’s what the TV says. I don’t believe it. Fake news.

Me: The record is clear. The Jets could join the 2017 Cleveland Browns and the 2008 Detroit Lions as two of the worst franchises in history. They could suffer a massive defeat. In fact, they already are among the worst of all time.

JB: That’s what you say. I beg to differ, you moron. The Jets have won EVERY game this year. They are 13-0. The Jets are headed to the Super Bowl this year.

ME: Well, the Super Bowl is in February and the Jets are already mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. So, there is NO WAY they can be in the Super Bowl. Can’t happen.

FB: FALSE. There are a lot of ways the Jets can win the Super Bowl. Plenty of ways. It’s only December and the Super Bowl isn’t played until February. Boy are you stupid. Anything could happen.

Me: Well, no. It’s mathematics. They have won no games and there are only 3 games left. Even if they win all three games left they will still be last place in their division. They cannot possibly be in the Super Bowl.

JB: Mainstream media nonsense. Just because YOU say they can’t win the Super Bowl doesn’t mean anything. Not to mention your fake mathematics. Just wait. Anything can happen.

ME: Ok. So tell me HOW it would be possible?

JB: Lots of ways. Ways you know nothing about. Behind the scenes. There was a lot of fraud in the Jets losses. We are going to get those losses overturned by the commissioner. The real scores will show that the Jets won all their games. They didn’t lose a single one. 13-0. You’ll see.

Me: Well, Jim Bob, I wish you luck. But come February the New York Jets will not be on that field. I can guarantee it.

JB: That’s the problem with you liberals. It’s all “math” this and “science” that and “facts”. You have no imagination. I suppose you think Sasquatch is not real, as well. Mark my words, the New York Jets will win the Super Bowl. So, stop lying ! In fact, I already bought my tickets. Front row seats behind the Jets bench. I got them for only 50 bucks from a guy online selling them from Pennsylvania Avenue. Guaranteed.

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Filed under Elections, government, Politics, Society, Sports, Trump, United States

Bats in the Belfry

There was a definite scratching noise above our heads. It was in the attic, right above the bedroom. So, in February we called in a mouse and rat exterminator.

He climbed into the attic and looked around. No. No mice. No rats. We had bats. Bats in the attic.

He suggested a company that takes out bats since in NY there are laws. Only a certified person can take out bats. Bats are protected so they can’t be killed. Which is fine with me. I like bats. The two little guys who live in the barn do a great job of insect control on the summer. But bats in the house. Not so much.

So , after the covid subsided somewhat we called in the bat people. A three day job. As they explained it.

First, safely remove the bats. (As luck would have it the bats had already left, but the toxic droppings remained).

Second, remove all the bat droppings and all the insulation.

Fumigate to kill any residual bat remains.

Close up all the holes where the bats might have entered.

Replace the insulation with new insulation.

And then, voila, a bat free, toxic free attic.

We have bats in the attic of the nation. The Trump family bats. The Republican cowardly bats. Batshit crazy. Bat dangerous. And there is only one solution.

As of January 20 we will have removed the major infestation. It will be gone, hopefully never to return. But to make sure we need to do some more work. Because other bats remain.

We need to clean up the shit infested mess left by the bat family. Clean up and fumigate. Get rid of the mess. Throw it out. Take it to the dump.

We need to put down new insulation. Insulation against idiocy and alternative facts. Insulation from Fox and Newsmax. The insulation of science. A thick layer of science. The old insulation of science was stained and weakened by the bats. We need to renew.

Then we need to plug the holes. We need to close up the avenues by which batshit politicians can enter the house. Seal it up. Make it bat proof. But that depends on the voters.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have thrown out the bats. But the work is just beginning. Trump and his batshit family are still going to fly around and crawl back into the attic. His pack of batshit followers are still trying to dirty up the house. Where they can continue to do unseen damage to the house. Undermining democracy.

The bats need to be caged. Permanently. I don’t know how. But it needs to be done.

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Filed under Constitution, Elections, government, Joe Biden, Kamala HArris, Politics, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States

Pardon Me Boy, Is This the Chattanooga Choochoo

The Trump Pardon Train is running out of the White House. Get on board. Get your tickets while they last. They are going fast. First class tickets on the Pardon Express are not cheap, but worth it. Better than the old “Get Out of Jail” card in game of Monopoly.

Reserved seats on the Pardon Express have already been issued. Jared, Ivanka, Don, Junior, Melania, Rudy and so many others. Even a special golden ticket for Big Don the Con himself. More to come.

Some folks are upset that the Conman in Chief is on track to pardon his organized crime family and their friends. But. There is a BIG But. (No offense to Donald’s expanding derriere).

The Pardon Express is only valid on federal tracks. Those local trains still require a full fare. And full acceptance of the law. The New York local is on track to send Big Don the Con and his spawn to a private island . No, not another visit by Don to Jeffrey Epstein’s little rapists’ paradise. I am referring to Riker’s Island, a scenic bit of property in the middle of the Big Apple. A very nice piece of real estate.

So, let the pardons flow. We all know how this story ends.

We all know that this criminal family cannot help itself. The Pardon Train tickets are only good for “past crimes”, not future ones. Be real. Rudy and Jared and Ivanka and Don, Jr cannot help themselves. Neither can Big Don the Con. Within 2 years they will be back to their old habits. They are not going to change their basic personalities.

Wait for it. Pardon all you want. The Chattanooga Choo Choo is on track to Riker’s Island. It’s a one way ticket. And Biden will not be pardoning anyone.

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Filed under Joe Biden, NYC, Politics, Trump, United States

A Sterling Performance

Gabriel Sterling is outraged. He is the Republican commissioner of elections in Georgia and he is mad. He is angry with Donald Trump and the Republican members of the US Senate. He has had enough! Some of what he has said:

“Mr. President, you have not condemned these actions or this language. Senators, you have not condemned this language or these actions,” Sterling said, visibly angry. “This has to stop. We need you to step up, and if you’re going to take a position of leadership, show some.”

Ouch! Calling out the POTUS. Why? Well, there has been a campaign of lies and disinformation about the Georgia election. Trump has even attacked REPUBLICAN leaders in Georgia. There have been death threats against election workers. Just guys doing their job.

And Sterling is mad as hell. A performance for the ages. Angry. How dare Mr Trump attack fellow Republicans? How dare Trump not condemn calls for violence against elected Republican officials? Finally, someone stands up for decency!

A Sterling Performance.

I have no doubt that Mr Sterling is sincere in his anger. His anger about lies. About calls for violence, no matter how thinly veiled. Mad as hell. Of course, Mr Sterling has made it clear that he supports Trump and his policies. He supports the two corrupt GOP candidates for the Senate in Georgia, as well. But he is mad as hell that Trump and his supporters are attacking Republicans.

But… I wonder where Mr Sterling has been over the last 5 years?

Where was his anger at the lies told by Trump about President Obama and where he was born. Birtherism?

Where was his anger when Trump led chants of “Lock Her Up” proposing that his opponent in the 2016 election be jailed?

Where was his outrage when Trump claimed massive voter fraud in 2016 but provided not evidence?

Where was his anger when Trump targeted Muslims as enemies of the US?

Where was his anger when Mr trump complimented racists at Charlottesville as very good people?

Where was his anger when Trump called Mexicans rapists and criminals?

Where was his outrage when Trump engaged in a policy of ripping children from their parents at the border and shipping them across the country to be lost in the system?

Where was his outrage when Trump called on his supporters to “rebel” against the governor of Michigan?

Where was his anger at Mr Trump using the US government to try to force the president of Ukraine to make up false information about Joe Biden?

Where was his anger as thousands of Americans die for covid-19 while the corrupt president golfs?

And I could go on and on and on.

A Sterling performance. And typical of a political party that will accept any corruption. Any language. And lies. Anything goes.

As long as they are aimed at “the other”. As long as the targets are Democrats or liberals or blacks or Muslims.

A Sterling Performance. Of hypocrisy.

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Filed under Clinton, Congress, Conservatives, Democrats, GOP, Hillary, Islam, obama, Politics, POTUS, racism, Republicans, Trump, United States

I See Dead People

Well, I heard that dead people are voting in Nevada. I heard this on America’s finest news source, Fox News ! So, I assume it must be true. The person making this claim did not have any evidence.

But that is not the point. At least for me. Whether the actual facts of the case are real or not is irrelevant. Not only to Fox, where all evidence is irrelevant, but to me.

Here’s why.

I am impressed. I am pleasantly surprised even. Dead people voting.

We don’t know WHO they voted for, but these dead folks evidently felt it was their patriotic duty to participate. To make their voices , or teeth chatters, heard.

In a nation where only about 60% of the population usually votes it is refreshing that the dead have taken the time and effort to fill in for the lazy bastards who don’t vote.

Now, we have no videos of dead people voting, which is odd since everything that happens nowadays is posted on Youtube within 3 minutes of the event. (See the pretty kitty playing with the birdy. Oops.) But, as the Oxford trained Senator Kennedy of Louisiana has said when asked about charges about Biden made without evidence: The absence of evidence is evidence.

So, to follow Senator Kennedy, the lack of video or other evidence of dead people voting in no way changes the fact that dead people have voted. Digest that. The absence of evidence is evidence.

That being the case, we can let our imaginations construct the probably scenario of dead people voting.

Since dead people are socially responsible they would certainly maintain social distancing in the voting line. (I say socially responsible because of the massive effort to get out of their graves. Getting out of a box buried by your family under ground is not easy. Take it from me.) Plus, wearing a mask hides the fact that their faces have long since rotted away. On the plus side, since they can’t breathe they could not infect anyone else. On the minus side what could be worse than contracting the covid when you are already dead? I mean, talk about piling it on.

After waiting politely in line for hours (what is time for a dead person, no job interviews to go to?) the zombie-like voter would approach the polling place. Of course, they would need to produce proof of identity. Can you prove you are Hester Mc Gillicutty? Easy. Here is my death certificate. Signed, sealed and dated, 1875.

Filling in the ballot may be a problem. But, poll workers are nothing if not creative. A rubber band would be enough to secure the Sharpie to the bony intermediate and proximal phalanges. So, the vote is recorded. Or kind of recorded. Without eyes they may fill in the ballot a little outside the bubble. Or outside the ballot completely.

Seems as though some folks are condemning the dead for voting. Not me. What a great example of civic responsibility. What a great role model for our youngsters and the newly deceased. I mean people were beaten and died for the right to vote. The living dead showing us the way.

So, let’s not condemn the dead. Let us celebrate their patriotism. Their devotion to the nation. And, after all, their brains have atrophied to the point of extinction. So, I guess we know who they voted for after all.

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Filed under Elections, government, Politics, Society, United States

Biden Exposed

Painful as it was I decided to watch the last debate between what one of my friends calls “The Madman” and Joe Biden. OK. I really didn’t watch the ENTIRE debate. I am not a masochist. But I took in some highlights.

Boy am I glad I did. I got to discuss the debate with my friend Booby LaTrobe, an avid Trump supporter. I must admit, the revelations about the crooked Biden family were Earth shattering.

Booby: So, Joe, how about that debate. Donald really pasted Biden to the wall . Exposed all his 47 years of illegal activity.

Me: Well, ok, Booby. Can you fill me in? I kept switching between the debate and reruns of Green Acres. Gotta love that Eva Gabor. Or was it Zsa Zsa?

Booby: Well, Trump nailed him on his ties to China. Wammo.

Me: Oh. Well, what did he say?

Booby: Biden is a crook and has ties to China. Been taking money from China for years. That’s why My President had to open a bank acocunt in China. To spy on Biden. What a crook.

Me: Wow. So how much did Biden take from China? I mean, we know know Trump took $15,000,000 out of China as president. How much did Biden take?

Booby: That’s how clever he is. We don’t know. Could have been billions BILLIONS! But we don’t know because there is no record of it. Pretty clever, heh?

ME: So…there is no record of Biden taking any money from China, but Trump says he did.Is that what you are saying?

Booby: Got it! Also, what about those Hunter Biden emails? Explain that one. Biden couldn’t explain ANYTHING about those emails. He had nothing to say.

Me: Well, what was in the emails? Where did they come from? Explain.

Booby: You’ll like this one. Hunter Biden, master criminal, gave his computer to some guy in 2019 to work on it. A guy he never heard of and had never done business with. A computer with all kinds of incriminating emails on it. Just oodles. He just gave it to this random computer guy. Well, the guy decided to make copies of all the emails. You know, photocopies. So, they must be real! I mean, you can’t fake a photocopy!

Me; OK, so what was in these emails?

Booby: Bad stuff. Lots of bad stuff. Just like Hillary’s . Those emails are so important that the guy tried to sell them to Giuliani for $5,000,000 !

Me: Can you be specific?

Booby: One of the emails says there was a meeting between Joe Biden and some company in the Ukraine. WOW! A blockbuster.

Me: And, what happened?

Booby: Don’t you get it? How dumb are you? A MEETING! A MEETING! Between Joe Biden and someone in the Ukraine! There may have been a MEETING. It’s all there on the photocopy of the emails printed out by the guy who tried to sell them for $5 million. It’s obvious.

Me: Well, I just don’t get it. But, Booby, there is one question you can maybe answer. I heard Trump accuse Biden of selling pillows and sheets. What was that all about?

Booby: You have to keep up with these scandals. You are the most uninformed guy I know. While he was vice president Biden sold sheets and pillows on Ebay! Some were white, some were colored. Amazing scandal. He had a website called : Biden’s Bedroom Supplies and Stuff.

Me: I find that one hard to beleive.

Booby: Well, believe this, my friend. Biden got the sheets cheap from China! Then he sold them here for a profit! 25 cents a sheet, 50 cents profit on each pillow! But here’s the kicker. He used to charge $1 more for shipping than it actually cost him. BINGO. Got em. Crooked all the way.

Me: Well, Booby, as usual it’s been an education. Now can you send me any evidence of anything you just said? Any documentation? Anything at all.

Booby: Well, Trump said it. And I saw it on Fox. So, what more do you need?

Me: Seems to me, Booby, that someone is trying to sell you and your friends the “Brooklyn Bridge”, if you know what I mean.

Booby: HA! That’s where I’m way ahead of you. Me and my friends already bought 10% of the Brooklyn Bridge from some guy named Bannon. He showed us his owner’s certificate. We had to buy it before the Bidens swooped down with their bags of cash. Beat him to the punch.

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Filed under Politics

Hiring Amy

I was looking for a contractor to dig a new foundation the other day and I came across Amy Coney Barrett. Contractor extraordinaire. Referred by Don the Con Construction Advisory Panel. So I had her come in and do an estimate.

Me: Hello Amy, I am happy to see you. So, what is your experience as a contractor?

Amy: I am certified as a contractor by Home Advisor and the Federalist Society.

Me: OK. So, need you to provide some references.

Amy: Certainly, just look at my website. It is all about me .

Me: I did that already. Yes, well your website says you are a contractor and that you are an honest contractor. No examples of your work. But, do you have any references from places you have done work for in the past?

Amy: That is a good question. I am well aware that references exist and that references are something that all contractors should have. However, divulging references at this point may prematurely influence your decision to hire me. However, at some time in the future I may or may not divulge references.

Me: I see. Well how many foundations have you dug and what kinds of materials do you use?

Amy: Excellent, thoughtful question. As you may or may not know, there are many types of foundations. It is important to find the type of foundation that best fits every individual’s needs. Some foundations are better than others. There are a variety of styles of foundations. As well as sizes.

Me: Ok. So what kind of foundations have you constructed in the past.

Amy: I would like to answer that question as fully as possible. I am certified to build foundations of many types and styles. At this time I cannot really commit to any one foundation, although I can assure you that I will faithfully build a foundation. Foundations are the foundation upon which buildings are built. Before I can discuss a foundation I will need you to sign my contract. Here is my contract.

Me: (Reading the contract). Hmm. Ok, it says here that I am hiring you for life. That is a pretty big commitment.

Amy: Yes. Before I can start to explain what a foundation is and what I may or may not build, I need a lifetime commitment from you that I will be the sole contractor you ever hire. And I will be paid regularly, of course, for the rest of my life. Whether or not I actually build any foundation is not the issue. It is the lifetime guarantee of employment that is important.

Me: I see. Well, so, can you tell me what you plan to build the foundation out of, before I sign the contract. And are there any guarantees on my end?

Amy: That is a good question. I would like to explain to you exactly what I do and how I will do it. However, to do so may influence how I make my foundation building decisions in the future. Certainly that would be unfair to any future construction. Premature. Just sign.

Me: Well, what about guarantees? What if the foundation collapses or leaks?

Amy: Interesting point. In the past there have been some contractors who would guarantee their work. In that case there is a guarantee. In other cases there is no guarantee. I feel it is premature to discuss any guarantee until you have signed and returned the contract to me. At that time I may, or may not, discuss guarantees.

Me: What about foundations you have dug in the past? Can you give me some addresses so I can look at them.

Amy: A very astute question. Which I think I already answered. Delving into the past is not needed. Whatever I may or may not have built in the past is not important. What is important is the future. I keep an open mind on each foundation I dig. If I dig foundations. Which I do. Or maybe I don’t .Can’t discuss it until the contract is signed.

Me: So, you want me to give you a job for life even though I have no idea how you are going to build a foundation or if you will guarantee your work. Or even if you will show up at all?

Amy: Well, to be clear. As I said in the past and I will say in the future. A contract is a contract and a guarantee is a guarantee. That said, I cannot commit at this time to the actual building of the foundation until the contract is signed. At that point I will open to discussions of all contractual arrangements.

Me: What if the foundation collapses and harms or kills my wife or kids.

Amy: That is a good question and I would like to discuss it now. However, any discussion of possible damages or injuries may be premature. There is nothing in the original Constitution that requires me to build a foundation that will not collapse. I refer you the the original document.

Me: Ok. Sounds like a good deal to me. I will give you a lifetime contract. You will not answer any questions about your past foundations or plans for building my foundation. You accept no responsibility for faulty work. I guess I could sign.

Amy: Good. Sign here and here and here. Ok. I will be back sometime in the future to perhaps perform a function for which you will pay me for the rest of my life. As for now, I have another appointment. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.

Me: Thanks Amy. Sure is good to know I am in the hands of an honest professional.

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Filed under abortion, ACA, Constitution, GOP, healthcare, Obamacare, Politics, right to life, Senate, Supreme Court, Trump, United States

Sister Brutalitica

I went to a Catholic elementary school. In the 1950s and 60s. Not just any school but one that was run by a group of nuns. Not just any nuns but nuns of the most traditional variety. Nuns who would have collected firewood for the fires of the Inquisition. Some may have.

The school was pretty strict. How strict was it? Well, a former guard at a Nazi death camp applied for a job as security but was rejected as being too soft. He ended up in tears after the job interview.

Of all the nuns, the one stand out was Sister Brutalitica. I don’t dare use her real name. She may have passed away by now but I am not taking any chances.

I bring this up because I watched the debate last night between Donald J Trump and Joe Biden. As I watched the constant interruptions and rudeness by the commander-in-chief I was stuck by how weak Chris Wallace was.

He was the moderator. He was in charge. The Trump and Biden campaigns had spent months pounding out the rules for the debate. Rules both sides agreed to. Wallace had one job. Ask questions and keep the debate on track.

To his credit, Wallace asked some very insightful questions. He went after the weaknesses of both candidates. He asked for specifics. But he failed miserably to control Donald. So, as was his plan, the president did everything in his power NOT to have a debate. He just wanted to insult and aggravate. Wallace was flummoxed.

So, I said to myself, what if?

What if this debate was moderated by Sister Brutalitica.

The first time Trump interrupted Biden I can see the good sister standing up and glaring. The glare of death. The glare of power. Her squinty eyes boring a hole in Trump’s thick skull. She says ‘Behave”.He shuts up.

The next time Trump interrupts Biden the good sister stands up again. This time she walks over to Trump. She stands toe to toe in front of him. She is five feet tall and still looks down on Donald. She looks him in the eyes : “Last chance”. He withers under her presence. He behaves.

The next time Trump interrupts Biden the good sister again stands up. She says not a word. Slowly and deliberately she strolls over to Donald. The entire room is silent. Anticipating. Hesitation. Beads of sweat form on Trump’s big head . Then, like a rattler waiting in the grass, she strikes.

Trump’s cheek reddens as he feels the back of the good sister’s hand. His carefully glued coiffure do springs up revealing the balding noggin. Sudden. Swift. Violent. He staggers backwards. He grasps the podium to keep his balance. Sister Brutalitica whispers quietly. “That’s it. No more”.

Trump, being who he is, continues to interrupt.

Oops. Now the nun is angry. Mad. Now, if you have never seen a mad nun consider yourself blessed by the Almighty. Cujo on steroids. Hannibal Lecter times three. Mussolini would hide. Pol Pot would slip quietly into the night.

Sister Brutalitica flies across the room. Her feet never touch the ground. A blur of black robes, dangling rosary beads and the “weapon”. The ruler. Not just any ruler. A custom made solid oak ruler. Monogrammed. Notched. A ruler never used to measure inches or feet. A ruler designed with one purpose. To bust knuckles. A wooden sword of justice. To keep the peace. To institute “law and order.” Known only as “The Ruler”.

No one knows what happened to Donald. We heard the crack of oak on skin. We sensed the knuckles breaking. We heard the cries and whimpers. We saw a tiny hand on the scruff of the neck. In a flash we saw an orange head connected to a bloated body go flying off the stage.

The debate was over.

Chris Wallace, take a lesson. Law and order, Sister Brutalitica style.

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Filed under candidate, debates, GOP, Joe Biden, Politics, Republicans, SCOTUS, Society, Trump, United States

Trump’s 9/11

Today is the anniversary of the attacks on the Twin Towers on 9/11/2001. About 3,000 Americans were killed. The perpetrators were Saudi Arabian nationals who followed the cult leader Osama bin Laden.

An American tragedy.

Imagine Mr Trump had been president instead of George Bush.

September 12, 2001, President Trump holds a press conference.

Question: . Mr President, what is your response to yesterdays’ attack?

Mr Trump: It was horrible. Terrible. Billions of dollars in property damage. And you know, now that the Towers are down, 40 Wall Street, which I happen to own is actually the tallest building in New York city.

Quetion: Well, Mr President 40 Wall Street is the 32nd tallest building, not the tallest. But, what is your response to the attack?

Mr Trump: Well, you need to look it up and stop with fake news. 40 Wall Street is now the tallest building. Trust me. I know. Trust me. The big issue is the terrible destruction. You know, that is some of the most expensive property in the world. The entire world. A lot of people don’t know that, but that part of Manhattan is very , very expensive. And the taxes. You wouldn’t believe the taxes.

Question: Mr President, what can you say to the people who have lost loved ones in the attack?

Mr Trump: First of all, this was a disaster. A very bad thing. A terror attack. Who knew? Something we never faced before. I take no responsibility. Not my fault. President Clinton left us no military. None. I have built up up military like no one ever knew. They said it couldn’t be done. No one ever spent on the military like me.

Question: But, Mr President, what do you say to those who have lost loved ones in the attack?

Trump: Well, it is very sad. A sad day. Many people died. Many were killed. Not my responsibility. It is what it is. I mean, the United States has attacked people also. So. It is what it is.

Question: Mr President, what will be the US response to this attack?

Mr Trump: Well, we are looking into this. We have some very fine people looking into this. I think the governor of New York has a role to play. This happened in New York. Also, the governor of Pennsylvania where one of the planes came down. You know, that plane crashed in Pennsylvania. That is a state near New York. Very close. So, we will help the governors respond. But this is really a state problem. Every state may look at this differently.

Question: So, you are not going to have a military response to this?

Mr Trump: Well, I am smarter than all the generals. I mean, I have the biggest brain. I took a test. I can name 5 names in a row. The doctors were amazed. They said no one ever had done that before. So, we have a beautiful military. A fantastic military. The best in the world. I rebuilt it. They said it could not be done, but I did it. Many good contracts.

Question: But, Mr President, are you going to respond to bin Laden and the Taliban?

Mr Trump: We are looking into this. Some people say it was terrorists, others say it was an inside job. Some say bin Laden, others say it was the liberals. We will have to see. I saw on the news last night that it was impossible for the planes to take down those towers. Some people say it was detonations set inside the towers. I don’t know. We will have to look into that. Maybe it was an inside job by the Democrats to make me look bad.

Question: So, you are not going to do anything?

Trup: Well, I am not going to jump up and down and scream. No. Not my style. I keep calm. Calm people down. Don’t get excited. Keep in mind, we have thousands of people killed in traffic accidents every year. Some of these radical would close the roads! But you ask what I will do. Well, first of all, I am issuing an executive order giving tax relief to all the companies that owned office space in the Twin Towers. I am also signing an order paying them from the US Treasury for any office space they rent in 40 Wall Street or the Trump Towers. Two fantastic locations. They will be very happy there, believe me. Great locations.

Question: What are your plans to visit the site?

Mr Trump: Well, as you see from the photos it is a very dirty place right now. Windy. Not good for my hair. I am going to golf at Trump National Golf Club Bedminster next week. A fabulous course. They should hold the US Open there. Fantastic course. Some say it’s the best course in the world. I don’t know, that’s what people say. If I have time it’s a short helicopter ride over the site. I plan to throw down some paper towels to help with the clean up. Very important to clean up the mess. Prime property. It will take a lot of money to build there, believe me.

Question: So, don’t you think as president you should visit and show some leadership and concern for the dead Americans?

Mr Trump: Now, that is a very NASTY question. Very nasty….

Mr Trump walks off the podium…..

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2018/09/11/trump-pointed-out-that-he-now-had-tallest-building-lower-manhattan-he-didnt/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/09/12/trumps-fuzzy-vision-sept-attacks/

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Filed under Clinton, Democrats, government, NYC, Politics, POTUS, Trump, United States

Losers and Suckers

I have a lot of losers and suckers in my family. According to my president, my commander-in-chief, the leader of the free world and all around god -on -Earth, anyone who was in the military or dies in war is a loser or a sucker.

My uncle Casey, who I never knew, was a loser. Born to an immigrant mother, Casimir Wagner was the only son in the family. In WW2 he went into the US armed forces to fight the Nazis. Being small in stature and, I am surmising, fairly smart, he was assigned top turret and engineer on a Flying Fortress.

When he was in the war the bombers were regularly attacking the industrial and military sites inside Germany. It was a war of attrition. On average about 20-25% of the bombers would not make it home. Once you strapped yourself into the bomber, you had a 1 in 4 chance of not coming back. Do the math. Still, off they flew, all the suckers.

On his fourth or fifth mission they unloaded their bombs somewhere near Berlin and headed back to England. Attacked by German fighters the plane was severely damaged. The crew bailed out. All these suckers were captured and sent to a POW camp. Except for one. One loser.

The written reports I have read from his comrades tell us that after Casimir Wagner parachuted from the burning plane, he was shot by a fighter pilot and was probably dead before he hit the ground. What a loser.

My late father-in-law , on the other hand, was a sucker. He volunteered as a pilot in WW2 before the US entered the war. He was not good enough (according to him) to fly combat, but served behind the lines flying in supplies, etc. He volunteered. To fight Nazis. Well before Pearl Harbor. But, since he survived the war, I guess he was just a sucker , and not a loser.

Why did he do that? Why did this sucker go to a foreign nation and help in the fight against fascism? Was it any of his business? In his wallet he kept a handwritten line from a poem by John Donne.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…”

My niece is married to a sucker. He has served his entire life in the Marine corps. Working his way up through the ranks. Commanding military bases in Okinawa and Germany. Still alive , so he’s no loser, just a sucker.

And his son is a bigger sucker. His son wanted to be a Marine but the doctors said,”No”. A physical condition, not likely to change, meant he could never join the corps. Instead of looking for an alternative, he would not give up. Eventually, the Marines relented and decided his condition had changed enough so he could join. Some day , maybe, he could put his life on the line for Donald J Trump. Now there’s a real sucker.

I have had other relatives in the military and my wife has cousins, distant, that can trace back to the Revolutionary War. A long history of suckers. and losers, at least according to our commander-in-chief.

I have some relatives who voted for Donald Trump in 2016 and will vote for him again in 2020. I wonder what he calls them in the privacy of the White House?

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Filed under government, nazi, Politics, president, Trump, United States

How To Vote

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There is a lot of talk about the Postal service and how it may impact the election this year. That is a problem, but like every problem (well, almost every problem) there is a solution.

Is there voter suppression? Yes. Do some states make it difficult for city folks (read: African Americans) to vote by limiting polling places? Yes. Are they wheeling away mailboxes in urban areas? Yes.

But, by doing a little research into your home state and county you may find it is easier to vote than you think. Bottom line. And I will repeat this.

DON’T WAIT

And again….

DON’T WAIT.

Vote as early as possible. Do not use the mail service unless absolutely necessary. Voting early means you are not likely to face long lines and can easily social distance.

If you are voting absentee, HAND DELIVER you ballot before election day if it is legal to do so. (In NY you cannot hand deliver your absentee ballot on election day!)

You may be surprised at how many states make it very easy for you to vote. I have 2 links below, which are fairly up to date. One on voting regulations for each state, the other on EARLY VOTING for states that allow it.

Let me summarize briefly:

35 states/territories allow you to request an absentee ballot without a reason; 20 states/territories allow an absentee ballot with a reason and a few are now accepting covid-19 as a reason. One state has no absentee voting because ALL voting is by mail (Oregon).

30 states/territories have early voting in person. (Link is below) . So if you live in one of those states you can vote early and in person. Not likely to be long lines for early voting! No mail to worry about. Do it!

Almost every state (except NH and Minnesota and with some restrictions Wisconsin) allow provisional voting. That means if you are registered and get to the polling place and you are not on the rolls you have the right to cast a provisional ballot. Then, you must go to the County Board of Elections and prove your residency (usually within a couple days). So, always vote, even if they tell you you are not eligible. It is your right. Recall that in 2000 with the massive voter purge in Florida thousands of legal voters were eliminated, including a US Congresswoman ! She knew enough to demand a provisional ballot; I wonder how many did not?

21 states/territories have same day registration. This is especially good for younger voters. Just make sure you have the right ID. By the same token, the other states/territories do NOT have same day registration. For example, In Georgia you must register by October 5 to be eligible to vote. In Kansas you have until October 13th. Use the link below.

If you do request an absentee ballot can you hand deliver it instead of using the mail? That is a question you need to ask at your own local board of elections.

The two links below are very helpful for locating information for this election. They can link you to info specific to your state. Keep in mind that a few states have different rules for each county. Find out well in advance. No excuses.

Don’t let them steal another one.

https://www.usvotefoundation.org/vote/state-elections/state-voting-laws-requirements.htm

https://www.vote.org/early-voting-calendar/

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Filed under Elections, Politics

Where’s the Horse?

Kamala Harris has been chosen by Joe Biden to be his running mate in this election. Watching MSNBC , the liberal Democratic news channel, people are euphoric. She is , after all, a good, solid, intelligent choice. The obvious choice.

According to the talking heads she will only add to Biden’s upcoming victory. And beyond that, she is now in place to be the first woman president of the United States. They all agree, when Biden’s 4 years are up, he will relinquish the crown to Kamala.

She will then be elevated into the highest elective office in the land.

That is the “cart” of the current euphoric liberal Democrats. It’s in the bag. The presidency of Kamala Harris is inevitable. She’s in the cart.

Problem. Where is the horse?

In 2016 the “brain trusts” of the Hillary Clinton campaign put the cart before the horse. I recall in the last weeks of the campaign they were focusing on Arizona, a deeply red state. They wanted a big victory. And the polls  (except for the LA Times) and pundits had only one question. How big was the victory going to be? By how much would she bury Donald Trump?

(One of the members of the Clinton brain trust was Donna Brazile. The same Donna Brazile who was the campaign manager for the failed Gore presidential bid. A man who lost his home state. Brilliant strategy. The same Brazile who worked on the Mondale campaign. He lost. The same Brazile who worked on the Gephardt campaign. He lost. the same Brazile who worked on the Dukakis campaign . A man who at one point held a 55-38% lead on George Bush. He lost. The same Brazile who worked on the Jackson campaign. He lost. Do you detect a pattern here? And after Hillary lost in 2016 Brazile changed jobs. The 5 time loser was hired as an expert. She became a commentator on the Fox News network).

Back to 2016. The Democratic brain trust did not send Clinton to Michigan. They did not get out the vote. Why not? It was in the cart. They did not have her campaign late in the election in Wisconsin. No problem. In the cart. Not in Pennsylvania. We got this. No worries.  In the cart. Relax, it’s in the cart.

The brain trusts of the Hillary campaign were so sure of victory that they rented a massive hall with a “glass ceiling”. This was going to be an historic victory. The glass ceiling was going to be busted through. Smashed. The polls (except for the LA Times) were clear. And, to be sure, the American people overwhelmingly voted for Hillary. They were in the cart.

And the cart sat there. Full of hubris. The cart sat there as the votes came in. Full of the brain trusts. The cart sat there. The glass ceiling stayed intact. The cart was going nowhere.

Only one problem. Where is the horse? Who was supposed to bring the horse? What happened to the horse? We need a horse! But the brain trust had left open the barn door.

Good old Mr Ed was making a speech in Wisconsin.  Whirlaway was away eating grass in a field in Ohio. Seabiscuit was out to lunch in Michigan. Secretariat was on vacation in Moscow. Hubris doesn’t pull a cart.

So, before we anoint Kamala Harris as the 47th president of the United States, perhaps we need to put first things first. Instead of a coronation we should harness up the workhorses and make sure the votes are counted in 2020. First things first. One step at a time.

Be excited. Yes. Be confident. Yes. Be hopeful, Yes. But leave the hubris behind. Don’t ask the advice of Donna Brazile. Don’t put the cart before the horse.

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Filed under candidate, Clinton, Democrats, Elections, GOP, government, Hillary, Joe Biden, Kamala HArris, Politics, president, Republicans, Society, United States

Acceptance Speech Dilemma

Mr Trump, who has not allowed any opposition within the GOP to his nomination, has to decide where to make his acceptance speech. According to news sources has has narrowed down his choices to the White House and Gettysburg. Two of the most important sites in US history.

However, I have learned though White House sources that these are not the only two places under consideration. The White House brain trust of Donald Junior, Ivanka, Jeb the night janitor and Bobo the One Eyed chimp are looking at other options and their pros and cons. They have formed a committee to investigate the possible itinerary for the speech, the Committee to Investigate Territory Now, (Comintern). I was able to speak with the most articulate member of the Committee, Bobo just last night.

Me: Hi Bobo. So, have a banana. What can you tell me about the possible speech sites?

Bobo: Hoot..hoot…hoot. (Through our interpreter, Jane) We have good sites. Many good sites.

Me: For example, what is on your list?

(Note : For simplification the rest of Bobo’s account will eliminate his actual words or hoots. They are the words of the Interpreter. Also, for clarification, Bobo did consume 3 bunches of bananas during the process)

Bobo: First thought was Mount Rushmore. Maybe taking a jack hammer to Lincoln to make room for a carving of the best president ever. Imagine. Donald Trump making the speech below a massive carving of Donald Trump. It boggles.

Me: So, what else?

Bobo: Then we thought, well, this was Ivanka’s idea, maybe fly to China. Have a great photo op in one of Ivanka’s purse factories. Donald could be surrounded by smiling faces of happy kids . Happy because they have a 30 minute break (unpaid, of course). But Xi would not agree. So that got nixed.

Me: So, other options?

Bobo: We tossed around the idea of Florida. Anywhere in Florida. At any hospital. Donald would go into a Covid-19 ICU and spray the patients with Clorox bleach. Show some real leadership fighting the pandemic. But no hospital would give us permission. Something about the Hippocratic Oath. Guess there are a lot of hypocrites in Florida.

Me: So, that one went down the tubes. Any other possibilities?

Bobo: Donald Junior suggested a golf course. One of Trump’s own golf courses. What symbolizes a connection with the white working class better than a country club? Donald would drive out in a gold plated golf cart onto the first tee. He would be followed by Pence in a silver plated golf cart. Pence would lie down on the tee box, balance a golf ball on his nose and Donald would smack it into the fairway. Then, they would ride down to the green of the first hole, Pence always 5 lengths behind Donald. Donald would drive his cart right up to the hole, lean down and take out a golden golf ball with MAGA emblazoned on it. Then give the best speech ever. We had a minor problem when we practiced this one. Pence is still recovering at Walter Reed hospital. Thank god for Obamacare.

Me: Well, Bobo, I hate to say it, but you guys really haven’t come up with much.

Bobo: Think not? You haven’t heard our back up emergency plan.

Me: Emergency plan?

Bobo: Yep, if Donald keeps dropping in the polls. And if the Manhattan district attorney gets a hold of Trump’s tax returns. We will fly the entire family along with Roger Stone and Bill Barr to the Kremlin. Kindly ask permission for an audience with Donald’s boss. Then the Donald will drop to his knees and deliver his farewell address at the feet of Vlad. It’s the last resort, of course. But certainly an option.

Me: Well, if that happens there will be a lot of angry Americans. And even more happy ones.

Bobo: No kidding. One thing for sure. Once we land in Moscow, they will never see Air Force One again. Pass that banana over here, would ya?

 

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Filed under candidate, Democrats, Elections, GOP, government, neoconservatives, Obamacare, Politics, president, Society, Trump, United States

Vladimir Appleseed

In the early 19th century a man named John Chapman wandered around Pennsylvania, Ohio and other states planting orchards. Orchards of apples. As time went on and stories about his life changed he became a legend.

Images and stories of Chapman wandering across the country flinging apple seeds hither and yon. Creating orchards in his wake. So John Chapman earned the nickname of “Johnny Appleseed”. An American folk hero.

Of course there is a lot of truth in these stories. Johnny did plant orchards of apple trees. Then he protected them from wild animals by  fencing, as any good horticulturalist would do. He did travel across many states. He did spread apples across the “western”states.

Those seeds took root. He came out every year and tended those orchards. He made sure his wide ranging plantings were protected and managed. It worked. In the early 19th century clean water was not easy to come by. Which is why “cider” was a popular drink. The trees Johnny planted were not good for eating apples, but were great for cider. A real public service.

Now, on the internet, we have a new Johnny Appleseed. His name is Vladimir. He trolls through the vast web of on line information and plants the seeds. The seeds of dissent. The seeds of doubt. Flinging them hither and yon. Hoping they take root.

He is seeding and tending orchards of misinformation. Of false news. Of divisive, negative nonsense. He pretends he is a black man and sows seeds trying to divide blacks from whites. He pretends he is a Democrat or a Republican and sows seeds of hatred for the other side. He pretends he is a doctor and sows seeds of confusion concerning Covid-19. And it is working. Americans are confused. Divided as never before.

It worked in 2016 and it is working today. Vladimir Appleseed planted the misinformation of “Clinton Corruption” in 2016 and many folks devoured the apples. I recall doing a “search” on the name “Hillary Clinton” during the campaign. At one point the first 2 pages of links were all about the Clinton “health issues”

Of course, there were no health issues. But seeding the internet with false reports and bots, Vladimir Appleseed was able to push Clinton “health issues” to the top of the Google research pages. Because stories are placed in the order of how many others have clicked on the site. Not based on accuracy, just numbers. It worked.

So, Vladimir Appleseed is at it again. Joe Biden is some kind of child molester. Joe Biden has mental issues. Joe Biden is some kind of crook with contacts with the Ukraine. It’s all out there. Joe Biden is a racist. Joe Biden is a socialist. Seeded.

Now, Johnny Appleseed is an American hero. He was a fine man who spread the “good news”of apple trees. An overwhelmingly positive force. Except.

Except. John Chapman also planted a medicinal herb called “dogfennel”. An invasive, quick growing plant that has a certain odor. Unfortunately dogfennel is also poisonous. John didn’t know it, but he was spreading the seeds of poison as well as the seed of cider.

Johnny Appleseed spread apples and dogfennel. A great crop and a poisonous plant.

Vladimir Appleseed has skipped the apples and gone straight to the dogfennel. He knows exactly what he is doing. Spreading the seeds. The lies. the misinformation. And people are unaware of its poisonous properties.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Appleseed

https://plants.ces.ncsu.edu/plants/eupatorium-capillifolium/

 

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Filed under Clinton, Democrat, GOP, healthcare, Joe Biden, news, Politics, Republicans, Society, United States

Finally, An Honest Man

A friend of mine, Diogenese Lamplighter, was walking around with a big smile on his face. Which is quite unusual for him. So, being curious and always willing to throw a blanket over happiness , I had to intervene.

Me: Dio, old boy. What have you got to smile about?

Dio: Well, cranky one, I have finally reached my goal. I have found an honest man. Just one. But he is an honest man.

Me: Needless to say, Dio, I am a bit skeptical. A truly honest man?  Are you sure or have you been hitting ouzo again?

Dio: A man who tells it like it is. No bullshit. He says what he means and means what he says. Total honesty.

Me: Wow. Where did you find this guy? In a monastery or church…wait.. of course not. Hmm. In a cave somewhere far away from civilization? Where, oh, wise one, where?

Dio: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.

Me: OK. Let me google map that…hmmm… hey… wait a minute, Dio, that’s the White House! You mean there is someone in the White House who is an honest man? That would be a first.

Dio: Oh yes. A completely honest man. A man who hides nothing.

Me: (kind of excited now, which doesn’t happen much) Who? Who? Jared? No way. Maybe Steve Miller? Nah, can’t be. I know, I know..it’s got to be Barron? Right?

Dio: No, my foolish, disillusioned friend, it is none other than Donald J Trump, President of the United States.

Me: Sheesh. Now I KNOW you have been not only hitting the ouzo but also soaked the grape leaves in too much white wine. Trump? Honest? Give me a break.

Dio: I will do better. I will give you my analysis. After all these years of searching for an honest man, it has only been Donald J Trump, President of the United States, who has dared to speak the truth.

Me: But… but… he is a racist, a xenophobe, a climate change denier… even some Republicans don’t like him.

Dio: Oh, but you are missing the point. For the last 40 years the Republican party has done everything it legally can to support big business. At the expense of workers. And at the expense of the small business owner. They have pretended to care about workers but oppose the minimum wage. They say they want health care but have opposed health care reforms for years. They are in court right now, trying to destroy the ACA.  As Mr Reagan said, in the eyes of the GOP the “government is the problem”. Because “government” is the only thing preventing corporations from driving out small business and keeping wages low.

Me: Well, I don’t know. Seems to me that the GOP over the last 40 years have just been advocating for following the Constitution.

Dio: Did the Constitution say corporations are “persons”? Or that voting should be suppressed?  Or that black folks should not have equal protection under the law? Or that the post office should be destroyed? Or prisons privatized?

Me: So, what is your point?

Dio: My point is that the Republican party has been a party of racism (remember the Willie Horton ad), bigotry, sexism and anti-working man and anti-small business for at least 40  years. But they pretend to be otherwise. I mean, how can you win an election if  you tell people that you’re main motivation is to screw them?  How can you win an election if you tell folks ahead of time that you are giving millionaires massive tax breaks because it is good for people making $7.25 an hour (the minimum wage)? How can you win an election by telling working people that they would be better off without government protection of their water? But Trump. He is honest.

Me: So , you are saying that Trump just says what the GOP has been afraid to say?  But that they really do support him and his racism and misogyny and general disdain for science and  working people?

Dio: DUH. Mr Trump just says out loud what the GOP has been saying, with their policies, for the last 40 years. Now, I admit, he is a bit more vulgar than many in the GOP would like, but he has given them the government they want.  Corrupt. Racist. Incompetent. Authoritarian.

Dio: I can snuff out the flame on my lamp. Finally, an honest man.

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Filed under ACA, candidate, Constitution, Democrat, Elections, GOP, government, minimum wage, Politics, president, racism, Republicans, Society, Trump, United States, workers

Get the Picture?

Kodak was a major film and camera business in Rochester , New York. When I lived in Rochester Kodak was considered the dream of the crop. In 1982 Kodak employed over 60,000 people. A truly massive amount for the region. And about 100,000 worldwide.

Not only was Kodak the major employer, it was one of the best employers. If you worked at Kodak in any capacity you had a “good job”. Scientist. Technician.Inventor. Chemist. Factory worker. Engineer. It didn’t matter. Kodak took care of you.

Kodak had no union. Not needed. The pay was always good. The working conditions decent. And the bonuses! The bonuses! Every March Kodak gave out holiday bonuses. To everyone. I don’t mean $10 in an envelope bonuses.

From John Kucko Digital, a Rochester reporter:…………..    …….

“For many years, generations even, this week in March was like a national holiday for the nearly 100,000 working at Eastman Kodak across the globe back in the day. The Kodak Bonus was a day on the calendar everyone looked forward to, especially here in Rochester. Company founder George Eastman implemented the bonus in 1912 and it continued for decades. Mr. Eastman valued employee loyalty and believed in rewarding those who worked hard for him. In 1984, Kodak paid out over $254 million to some 93,000 employees throughout the company. This was money that was reinvested in Rochester as workers, in many cases, pumped the money into the local economy. Auto dealers enjoyed a major surge in business, as did most everyone else. Mr. Eastman was at the forefront of employee relations and his way of doing business was the template followed by many. If an employee had a good idea, Mr. Eastman made sure to reward them. Translation: employee morale was off the charts in those golden years. I believe the days of the Kodak Bonus began to decline in 2001 or so and the rest was history….”
 But, as happens with many companies, Kodak was sold. And the new management brought in new ideas. Mainly, selling off the assets and firing workers. Eventually declaring bankruptcy in 2012. And by  2012 the company had a Rochester workforce of 1,600 employees. A well run family owned company stripped by pirates……
So, it was very odd when Mr Trump announced he was giving the “new” Kodak a loan of more than a quarter of a billion dollars. ($ 765,000,000 to be exact) .This money is coming from the Defense Production Act. Now, you may ask why the president is giving a loan to a failed camera and film making company. Do we need more film? Of course not……
This money is not going to produce film. It is going to a “start up” company. Kodak, stripped of assets and recently driven into bankruptcy, is being given taxpayer supplied loans to start a pharmaceutical company. A drug making company. Because one thing we need is more drug making companies. And what better candidate for a drug start up than a bankrupted film company?…..
In the middle of a hurricane is the best time to start up an umbrella company. Don’t invest in companies already set up to produce new and better umbrellas. Nope. Find a company that used to make napkins. But went broke making napkins. And give them a loan to try to figure out how to make umbrellas……
There is more to the story. Kodak, which was temporarily thrown off the NY Stock Exchange is back on. And for the entire month of July Kodak stock was stable at about $2.10 a share. And trading was anywhere between 70,000-200,000 or so shares a day. But then. WHAM. On Monday (the day BEFORE Trump’s announcement) there was an unexplained jump in Kodak trading. On Friday there were 75,000 shares traded and on Thursday about 80,000 shares traded……
But on Monday, before Mr Trump’s announcement, there were 1,600,000 shares traded and the stock price went through the roof. By the time Wednesday rolled around shares had increased by over 300%. Somebody had an excellent crystal ball! Good timing!…..
So, we have a bankrupt film manufacturing company that gets a massive loan to start a drug business in the middle of a pandemic.  And somebody had the foresight to buy up a whole lot of stock…..
Get the picture?…..

 

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Filed under Debt, economics, Economy, government, jobs, Politics, POTUS, Trump, United States, workers

The Memory Genius.

I watched our commander-in-chief explain that he took a very tough mental exam last week . He passed with flying colors. He was proud. Unlike the SAT he did not pay anyone else to take this test, he took it himself.

Part of the test, besides knowing some animal shapes, was remembering words. Five words. And the Donald ACED it. He remembered 5 words. Even 5 minutes after first reading them. The doctors, according to Trump, “were very surprised”. VERY surprised.

Now, a couple years ago I took a short memory test with my doctor just to see how I was doing mentally speaking. (OK, keep quiet Dan and Jack). I did ok. I was able to remember things. My doctor was NOT surprised. So, I ask myself, why would Trump’s doctors (plural) be SURPRISED? Surprised that the president of the United States could remember 5 words.

Hmmmm. Using my many contacts in government I was able to find one of the doctors involved in the testing. Let’s call him Doctor J.

Me: Hello Dr. J. I want to ask you why you were SURPRISED that the president of the US was able to remember 5 words?

Dr. J: Not only remember 5 words, but also know the names of 3 animals. Let’s not forget that.

Me: But, wasn’t that expected?

Dr. J; Heavens no. We fully expected Mr Trump not to be able to recall anything. But for some reason his memory seems to be IMPROVING with age, instead of deteriorating. His big brain is actually remembering things better than from just 2 years ago.

Me: Well, that IS surprising. Myself, I have trouble remembering some things. And, if I recall correctly, I could remember events and other things better when I was younger. Or am I misremembering what I could remember because my memory is failing me? God, I am so confused.

Dr J: No. You are correct. Memory deteriorates in all human beings as they get older. Except ONE. Mr Trump.

Me: Well, sorry doc, but I don’t believe you. What proof do you have?

Dr J: I just use the Mueller Report. It is a good indication of the president’s memory. He was asked to submit in writing the answers to questions about specific meetings he had. About specific things he learned and when he learned them. Meetings from only about a year before. Events which he should have been able to easily recall.

Me: And?

Dr J: Well, he was unable to answer just about every memory question. For example, Mueller asked when Donald learned of the Trump Tower meeting with his campaign staff and the Russians. His answer:…”I have no recollection” and…”I do not recall”…

Me: Well, maybe that meeting slipped his mind. It happens.

Dr J: OK, except this. Here are his responses to other questions: “I have no recollection”… “I do not remember whether or not I spoke with Donald Trump, Jr.”….. ” I do not recall being aware”….  ” I have no recollection of being told….”…..   “I have no recollection of any particular conversation, when it occurred, or who the participants were….” ….”I do not recall being told…”  …”I do not recall discussing WikiLeaks with him (Roger Stone)”….. ” I do not recall any discussion of travel to Russia…”  ….”I do not remember Mr Manafort communicating to me…”…And it goes on and on.

Finally, there was a series of 12 questions about Mr Trump and Mr Flynn, Ambassador Kislyak, Eric Prince, Jared Kushner and others. For those 12 questions Mr Trump did not even give a response. So bad had his memory failed him!

Since Mr Trump was UNDER OATH and required to answer all questions to the best of his ability, you can see why we (the doctors) were SURPRISED at his cognitive awareness. Just 2 years earlier he could not remember a thing and all of a sudden he could name animals AND remember words. All the words.

We can only hope that when the man with the biggest brain finally lies in state that his family will donate the organ to science for further study. His ability to recover from such extensive memory loss is almost , dare I say, a MIRACLE.

Brain scientists would love to see what’s inside that amazing skull.

Me: Well, Dr J, I think I can say I speak for the majority of Americans when I say: Let’s hope that day comes soon.

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/07/23/trump-mental-fitness-cognitive-test-379622

https://apnews.com/98f22511be924ced895ce5c0bfedfe37

 

 

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Filed under government, impeachment, Politics, president, Psychology, Trump, United States

The Crisis: Opportunity or Heresy?

Every crisis is an opportunity.

The covid-19 pandemic has put US schools into a crisis.  I would suggest that this crisis gives us the opportunity to rethink how we deliver education. Most importantly, what we see as education.

Some questions we need to ask about our school system.

Do students need to attend school 5 days a week?

How do we evaluate whether or not a student is successful in reaching the required goals?

To what extent can we use distance learning?

What about sports and clubs? WHAT? Now you’ve gone too far.

I am now going to suggest the unsuggestable. Heresy. Beyond the pale. An idea on par with a justification for the Holocaust. The end of American civilization as we know it.

Sports and clubs in school. Exterminate them. Eliminate them. Toss them.

An admission. I have coached high school sports and advised clubs. I have coached softball, basketball and soccer at the high school level. I have advised the UN Club, a debating team, for over 20 years. I coached a high school championship chess team.

These kinds of activities have long been considered central to the “high school experience”. And I oppose them.

Why? Because in many schools the extracurricular interscholastic activities drain resources that would be better used for a more rigorous and inclusive educational experience for ALL students. Resources that could reduce class size and increase teacher salaries. Resources that should be used for education, capital “E”.

How do sports programs drain resources? Let me illustrate. In most schools there is a budget for extracurricular activities like sports. This usually includes coaches salaries and equipment. This money (provided, recall, by property taxes) is only a part of the costs of sports, however.

There are many costs for sports programs that are “hidden” in the school budgets. For example, the budget proposal for a school I taught at for over 25 years is linked below. There is a $59 million budget. Nowhere in the budget does it have sports program funding. Yet, the district offers 24 different sports teams. 24. (see links below). Now, I am not singling out this district . It is typical and I use it only to illustrate this point.

School sports costs are seldom broken down so the taxpayer can see what the actual costs are. For example. In the school I am referring to there are the following costs, not expressed as sports costs.

Athletic Director and office staff, devoted solely to school athletics. (Hidden in salaries budget?)

Coaching and in some cases assistant coaches salaries for 24 teams. (Hidden where?)

Pay for all umpires, referees timekeepers, scorekeepers at all home games. How many home games does each team play? (Hidden where?)

Transportation for all 24 teams for every away game. (Hidden in transportation budget?)

Training in CPR and concussion protocols for all coaches. (Hidden where?)

The care of the football field and stadium, the soccer fields, the baseball and softball fields, the track and field facilities, for all varsity and JV and modified programs. This includes cutting grass, lining fields, clean up, etc. (Hidden in Building and Grounds budget?).

Uniforms and equipment for all 24 teams.  (For example, the cost for just one football player is between $800-1200 per person. You can do the math). An aside: As a classroom teacher I was given less than $200 a year for all supplies for all my classes. Total.

I have taught in schools when there are “budget crunches”. Which is just about every school every year. I have watched schools drop social studies, math, science and English teaching positions to “save money.” I have seen a district drop programs for gifted and talented students. I have seen yearly teacher contract battles over health care costs. But in all these districts and all these “crunched budgets” I have never, NEVER, seen a district drop a varsity sports program. Cut teaching? Yes. Cut sports? Never.

This current school crisis is an opportunity. Do we really need to spend resources on interscholastic sports programs? Do we need to take the time and expense for these programs? A district could run a very good intramural sports program for a fraction of the cost. In a time when we need to prioritize should we be prioritizing athletics over basic or innovative educational programs?

But. But. But. Kids love sports. And so do parents, a few of whom live vicariously through the imaginary exploits of their progeny. I love sports. But I don’t think taxpayers should be funding them. There are other options.

As in many things, we should look to Europe. European schools do not have sports teams. Some places, like Germany, do have a few schools specifically devoted to athletics, but those are exceptions. In Europe athletics are privately funded by clubs. Professional soccer teams have their own youth academies, paid for by the teams, not the tax payers.

So, let us use this crisis to rethink how we spend very limited school resources. It is not a matter of ending sports for kids, but rather a rethinking of who should pay for those sports and how they should be organized. Should tax dollars for education continue to be funneled to sports programs ? I think not.

Heresy!

(See the eftours link for an interesting look at European schools and how they are organized.)

Focus On: The European high school experience

https://www.genevacsd.org/Page/2419

https://www.genevacsd.org/domain/41

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Filed under Budget, Education, Politics, Society, Sports, Taxes, United States

Mis Education 2020

Congratulations to this years winner of the Mis Education contest. Before we announce this years winner let’s have a look at winners in the past.

In the past one of our winners had been the CEO of a Chicago school system. With a history of involvement in providing education to under privileged kids.

Also in the past we had a winner who was the Superintendent of one of the largest school districts in Texas.  An educator with a long history of working in education.

On the other hand, a number of previous winners have been political hacks who have had no background in education. In fact, of the 10 previous winners of the Mis Education contest only one had actually been a classroom teacher. Most were lawyers, political operatives or just folks with nothing else to do.

Which brings us to this year’s winner.

Mis Education comes from a background of being born wealthy. After attending a religious high school and college she went on to marry into the millions. Betsy Prince (yes, THAT Prince) became Betsy De Vos. The DeVos fortune based on AMWAY.

Despite this spousal  inheritance she did not rest on her laurels. Or her husband’s family’s pyramid. She worked very hard to dismantle the public school system and transfer tax dollars from public to private schools. At the same time she was able to run the Republican Party in her home state.

She went on to invest some of the $ 5 billion family wealth (somewhere between $5-25,000,000) in a company to help kids. This company, Neurocore, uses biofeedback and nice films to treat a variety of childhood problems. According to Neurocore it can reduce the symptoms of autism and ADHD, without drugs.

Using the special Neurocore techniques the company website has pointed out that it is also a treatment for anxiety.And who doesn’t have anxiety. Another problem Neurocore attacks is depression. Also traumatic brain injury and sleep disorders. Stress? Gotcha.

What about folks like me? Well, it looks like Neurocore also treats Alzheimers and dementia. A cradle to grave solution for just about any mental disability or problem. The Neurocore website is replete with “reviews” by satisfied consumers.

However, if you look very carefully at the small, (did I say small?), at the tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the Neurocore website you will see that the product makes no claim that it can actually “cure” any conditions listed. So, while the product can be used to TREAT these disabilities, it does not cure them. Okey-dokey.

Well, this years winner of the Mis Education contest is a major shareholder in this wonderful company.

The truth in advertising website, however, found that Neurocore had to change its advertising claims because, well, there was no evidence to back up the claims of the $2,000 program.

“The problem for Neurocore, however, is that a recent review by NAD found that the company does not have competent and reliable scientific evidence to substantiate any of its health-related advertising claims. NAD reviewed more than 21 studies submitted by Neurocore as evidence that its neurofeedback brain training program could treat, cure, and/or alleviate the symptoms of ADHD, anxiety, depression, autism, memory problems, migraines and sleep issues. NAD concluded in a 17-page opinion that none of the studies submitted by Neurocore adequately supported the medical treatment claims being made by the company. As a result, NAD recommended that Neurocore stop making the following type of marketing claims…..”

So, this year’s winner of the Mis Education contest for the 4th year in a row is our own Betsy De Vos.  Never one to let evidence, data or experience as a teacher get her way, Mrs. De Vos as once again won the prestigious award.

In defense of Mrs. De Vos, the Secretary of Education position has a long history of being held by scammers and non-educators. No teachers need apply. Makes sense. After all, you wouldn’t want the Pentagon run by soldiers, would you?

Neurocore and ‘the Brink of Madness’

https://www.neurocorecenters.com/treatment/child-adhd

https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/01/betsy-dick-devos-family-amway-michigan-politics-religion-214631

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/09/the-strange-ascent-of-betsy-devos-and-erik-prince

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Filed under Education, GOP, Neoconservative, Politics, Republicans, United States

Virus Control

The virus is out of control. People are dying every day. Hospital beds are being taken. Emergency rooms are dealing with death on a regular basis. Different state governors have different approaches. One state says, ” No problem”; another state says “Yikes, we have to do something.” There is no consensus as to what must be done.

The federal government has given up. Not my problem is the message from the White House. I take no responsibility. So says our commander -in-chief. The buck stops THERE, not here.

And, to make it worse, now there is a covid-19 pandemic to boot.

Oh, you thought I was talking about covid-19. Nope. I wasn’t.

I was talking about the never ending virus of gun violence. But I understand the confusion.

You see, the federal government at the very top is handling the covid-19 pandemic the same way they have handled the gun violence epidemic. The same mentality that has allowed the destruction of life in our cities by guns is now allowing the destruction of life by virus. Same game plan.

When you see the two crises side by side the parallels are stunning. In just one half of one year we have lost over 130,000 lives to the virus. And counting. Since 9/11 we have lost around 700,000 lives to gun violence. And counting. You remember 9/11? When 3,000 Americans lost their lives and the US government went into an emergency mode of WW2 proportions. Those 3,000 deaths became a battle cry for jailing thousands of innocent people, completely rethinking air travel and an excuse to go to war in Iraq.

But, as for guns and the virus? No problem. There are defined by the White House as a “state” issue. States must deal with them. Chicago is condemned as the center of gun violence. But most guns involved in crime in Chicago come from Indiana. Lax gun laws. Same with NY. Most guns come from the states where you can buy a gun as easy as you can a condom. (Well, you have to be 18 to buy a condom in Alabama, but if your daddy says it is ok, you can buy a gun at any age).

States cannot control their borders. If guns or a virus want to cross state lines they do so with impunity. Mississippi guns find their way into Massachusetts. Covid-19 infections from Florida will eventually find their way into New Jersey. Decisions made by governors and citizens with their heads up their asses end up destroying lives in states where governors are doing their best to keep people safe.

That is the fundamental failure of the Articles of Confederation. Because in reality, at this time in US history, we have reverted back to the Articles. You recall that from your 7th grade US history class? The failed system of colonial independence that sought to keep all power in the hands of the individual states . (Read that: In the hands of the elites who controlled the voting and finances of each state). It could not work. It did not work. That failure was the very reason for the adoption of the US Constitution in the first place. To have a central organizing body, especially in times of emergency. To coordinate responses to national problems.

So, there is only one solution to the covid-19 crisis. It is the same as the solution to the crisis of gun violence. It is a national attack on the problem. State borders cannot stop the viruses. Either of them. Only a national solution will work.

Until the same people who claim to venerate the flag understand what the flag stands for, a “United” States, we will never stamp out the deadly viruses. Only keep passing them on to our neighbors. And onto the next generation. Until and unless that happens, the buck will always stop THERE.

 

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Filed under Constitution, Economy, government, Politics, POTUS, Society, United States, US

You Bought What?

So, $600,000,000,000 (that’s $600 billion) has gone missing. Well, not really missing. Somebody has it. That’s the money that was earmarked for small businesses to help them get through the covid-19 pandemic.

The money Congress appropriated. Legal. Now, in order to get some of this money a business had to fill out an application. An application which made it clear that this money was not given in secret. No right to privacy. After all, its the taxpayers money you are getting.

Then something strange happened. My good friend, Stephen Mnuchin , Secretary of the Treasury, has decided the American people do not have the right to know what happened to those $600,000,000,000. (That’s billion).It’s secret. Hush. Hush money?

So, I called Steve and asked him about it.

Me: Hello Steve, how’s the trophy wife?

Steve: HA HA , you wish. She’s fine.

Me: What about this $600 billion dollars you gave away. Where did it go?

Steve: None of your business. Top secret. Private. No one needs to know. Trust me. It has all gone to a good cause.. or two.

Me: But shouldn’t the taxpayers know how their money is being spent? You know, oversight? Transparency?

Steve: Joe, Joe, Joe. You crack me up. I am the Secretary of the Treasury. It’s MY money, you silly guy…. (end of conversation)..

So, I say to myself, you know. Steve has the right idea. I think (and this is where I always get into trouble) I might try this in my own house. Not being as frugal as my better half, I have absolutely no savings. But, lucky spouse that I am, Betsy has a few bucks tucked away.

Being a rather charming and eloquent guy, I convinced Betsy to “loan” me $3,000 from her savings. She, of course, wanted to know why I needed the cash. I assured her that there are MANY things that need to be done around the house. And I was planning on putting the money to good use. It is probable that visions of painting rooms, fixing gutters and rewiring the basement flittered through her imagination. Who was I to dismiss such fantasies?

Anyhow. A week later.

Betsy: So, what have you bought with the money I gave you?

Me: Essentials. Things we needed. And I provided. I’m a provider.

Betsy: What, specifically.

Me: All kinds of good things. Things to make our household great again. Things you would approve of. Wonderful things.

Betsy: Look, Buster. I want specifics. What did you spend my 3,000 bucks on? And it better be good.

Me: Well, as my good friend Stephen Mnuchin says, you really don’t need to know. I consider it private . Let’s call it proprietary information. Need to know basis. None of your business, my dear. You are out of the loop, darling…… (end of conversation)…

An hour later, after I had time to staunch the bleeding in my nose and the ice pack on my left eye had melted, I hobbled out to the car. With tears in my eyes I drove back to Golfer’s World and reluctantly returned the $3,000 set of golf clubs and accoutrements.

As I was leaving the store I saw Steve and his wife exiting Alfredo’s Luxury Furs. Now, to be precise it was not his first wife, Kathyrn. Or his second wife, Heather. No. It was his third wife, Louise. And she was sporting a very fine Ocelot skin jacket. They made a very attractive couple.

Me: Hey, Steve, I was just wondering where…. (he interrupted, raising his hand)…

Steve: Don’t even ask. Proprietary information.

I wish Betsy had been with me.

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Filed under Debt, economics, Economy, GOP, government, Politics, Society, Taxes, United States