The Memory Genius.

I watched our commander-in-chief explain that he took a very tough mental exam last week . He passed with flying colors. He was proud. Unlike the SAT he did not pay anyone else to take this test, he took it himself.

Part of the test, besides knowing some animal shapes, was remembering words. Five words. And the Donald ACED it. He remembered 5 words. Even 5 minutes after first reading them. The doctors, according to Trump, “were very surprised”. VERY surprised.

Now, a couple years ago I took a short memory test with my doctor just to see how I was doing mentally speaking. (OK, keep quiet Dan and Jack). I did ok. I was able to remember things. My doctor was NOT surprised. So, I ask myself, why would Trump’s doctors (plural) be SURPRISED? Surprised that the president of the United States could remember 5 words.

Hmmmm. Using my many contacts in government I was able to find one of the doctors involved in the testing. Let’s call him Doctor J.

Me: Hello Dr. J. I want to ask you why you were SURPRISED that the president of the US was able to remember 5 words?

Dr. J: Not only remember 5 words, but also know the names of 3 animals. Let’s not forget that.

Me: But, wasn’t that expected?

Dr. J; Heavens no. We fully expected Mr Trump not to be able to recall anything. But for some reason his memory seems to be IMPROVING with age, instead of deteriorating. His big brain is actually remembering things better than from just 2 years ago.

Me: Well, that IS surprising. Myself, I have trouble remembering some things. And, if I recall correctly, I could remember events and other things better when I was younger. Or am I misremembering what I could remember because my memory is failing me? God, I am so confused.

Dr J: No. You are correct. Memory deteriorates in all human beings as they get older. Except ONE. Mr Trump.

Me: Well, sorry doc, but I don’t believe you. What proof do you have?

Dr J: I just use the Mueller Report. It is a good indication of the president’s memory. He was asked to submit in writing the answers to questions about specific meetings he had. About specific things he learned and when he learned them. Meetings from only about a year before. Events which he should have been able to easily recall.

Me: And?

Dr J: Well, he was unable to answer just about every memory question. For example, Mueller asked when Donald learned of the Trump Tower meeting with his campaign staff and the Russians. His answer:…”I have no recollection” and…”I do not recall”…

Me: Well, maybe that meeting slipped his mind. It happens.

Dr J: OK, except this. Here are his responses to other questions: “I have no recollection”… “I do not remember whether or not I spoke with Donald Trump, Jr.”….. ” I do not recall being aware”….  ” I have no recollection of being told….”…..   “I have no recollection of any particular conversation, when it occurred, or who the participants were….” ….”I do not recall being told…”  …”I do not recall discussing WikiLeaks with him (Roger Stone)”….. ” I do not recall any discussion of travel to Russia…”  ….”I do not remember Mr Manafort communicating to me…”…And it goes on and on.

Finally, there was a series of 12 questions about Mr Trump and Mr Flynn, Ambassador Kislyak, Eric Prince, Jared Kushner and others. For those 12 questions Mr Trump did not even give a response. So bad had his memory failed him!

Since Mr Trump was UNDER OATH and required to answer all questions to the best of his ability, you can see why we (the doctors) were SURPRISED at his cognitive awareness. Just 2 years earlier he could not remember a thing and all of a sudden he could name animals AND remember words. All the words.

We can only hope that when the man with the biggest brain finally lies in state that his family will donate the organ to science for further study. His ability to recover from such extensive memory loss is almost , dare I say, a MIRACLE.

Brain scientists would love to see what’s inside that amazing skull.

Me: Well, Dr J, I think I can say I speak for the majority of Americans when I say: Let’s hope that day comes soon.

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/07/23/trump-mental-fitness-cognitive-test-379622

https://apnews.com/98f22511be924ced895ce5c0bfedfe37

 

 

Investigating the Investigation

Look. Another SHINY thing to look at. Don’t look here, look there.

I recently had the opportunity to talk with my good buddy Bill Barr, the president’s lawyer. Er. I mean. The Attorney General of the US. The head of the Department of Justice.

I was curious about the new investigation into the old investigation into the Russian influence in the 2106 election to help Trump get elected.

Me: Hello , Billy boy. How’s it hanging.

Billy Barr: Hanging good. Lookin’ like we are on our way to put some folks in jail. Finally. Lock Her Up!

Me: So, what exactly are you investigating?

Billy: We are going after the fake Russian influence stories. Fake news. We intend to show that the Russians did not influence the election and that those who said so were criminals.

Me: Does that include the 2 year long Mueller probe and report?

Billy: As I said at the time, the Mueller Report completely exonerated the president. It showed there was no Russian collusion. No collusion. No collusion.

Me: So, if the Mueller Report exonerated Mr Trump, why are you investigating Russia again?

Belly: Let me be clear. No collusion. The Mueller Report was very clear . No collusion. So, for that reason we must investigate to find out why some people said there was collusion. Simple. No collusion.

Me: Ok. So, now you are investigating why the Mueller Report found no collusion. I thought the Mueller Report found at least 13 Russian agents involved in using the internet to influence the election in favor of Trump.

Billy: No. No No. You have it all wrong. Mueller found no evidence of any wrongdoing. And anyway, it would have been the DNC and the Ukraine, probably Biden and Obama, who were behind the anti-Hillary dirty tricks. Obvious.

Me: So, if you say Mueller found there  was no collusion or wrongdoing (not true, by the way), what are you investigating? If nothing wrong happened, what are you looking at?

Billy: CRIMES. Always looking at crimes. Possible crimes. We are investigating crimes.

Me: Well, specifically, what are the crimes you are investigating. I mean, when you investigate something you must have some idea or evidence that a crime was committed. So, what is the crime?

Billy: Wrong again. We have some information that a crime may have been committed. Who committed the crime? We will see. What was the crime? We don’t know yet. We need to find out if anyone committed a crime and then prosecute it. We have an idea that a crime was committed.

Me: So, you have a whistle blower who has accused someone of a possible crime?

Billy: Exactly. We have a whistle blower. Maybe . Maybe not. Who knows?

Me: Who is the whistle blower? What has he or she charged?

Billy: Oh no you don’t. We do not let anyone know who the whistle blower is. Top secret. Just like the fake Dems in the fake impeachment hearings. They won’t tell us the name of the whistle blower.

Me: OK. But the whistle blower you are talking about presented a written statement of exactly what he thought had happened based on his contacts. So, can we see the charges , in writing , of your whistle blower?

Billy: No. Top secret. Not only will we not divulge the name of the whistleblower, and I am not saying we have one. Maybe we do, maybe we don’t. We will also keep secret any criminal charges. After all, if you charge someone with a crime then they can deny it.

Me: So, you are investigating a crime but you don’t know what the crime was or who committed the crime? And anyone accused of the crime does not have the right to know what they are being accused of?

Billy: Exactly. Now you have finally figured it out. We will find the crime and when we find it we will share it with Fox and Friends. Then we will find out who committed the crime. This will completely exonerate the president from the charges that the Mueller Report already exonerated him from.

Me: Do you have any possible criminals in mind? I mean, anyone who is the focus of this new investigation into the investigation?

Billy: Let me just say this. SHE is in BIG trouble. Oh, yes. Lock Her UP. Also, there is a “person of color” who we are looking at. If I said his name you would recognize it. Lock Him Up. Lots of FBI and CIA agents who are members of the deep state. They will be spending some time in the barrel.

Me: Sounds like you already have your conclusions before you even investigate.

Billy: Well, why investigate a crime if there is no crime. We are investigating criminal activity to find criminal activity. Deep state. Lock Her Up. The president is above the law. Lynching. Lynching. Lynching….

Me: Ok, Billy. Let’s leave it there. Now, what about all the evidence that Trump withheld aid to the Ukraine and you refused to even investigate the whistle blower complaint?  And is it a very odd coincidence that your new investigation just happened to be publicized what Mr Trump is going to be impeached?

Billy: Look. Look. Shiny thing. Shiny thing. Don’t look here, look there.

Connecting the Dots

The cat is out of the bag. The conspiracy has been exposed. The real TRUTH is finally being told.

I don’t mean the Mueller Report. That report made it clear that the Trump campaign worked with the Russian government to disrupt the 2016 election. Mueller concluded that Russia (which means Putin) worked very hard with fake news to make Donald Trump president. And it worked. It is all laid out in detail.

The Mueller Report also gave us a detailed account of how Donald Trump tried to end the investigation and obstructed justice. Point by point. Very clear and obvious.

That’s not the cat that is out of the bag.

I am referring to the NEW evidence that ties Joe Biden and the Clinton campaign and the dirty tricks of the Ukrainians in attempting to get Trump impeached.

The story is now clear. Rudy Giuliani, one of our true American heroes, has pretty much exposed the “Deep State” and the attempt to initiate a “coup d’etat” against the best president ever.

So, here is is. Now, some of this may seem a bit “far fetched” but any intelligent person can certainly connect the dots.

It starts with the FBI. Now, there are approximately 35,000 FBI employees. Out of these 35,000 employers, 2 were able to completely control the direction of the organization. Peter Strok and Lisa Page did not like Donald Trump. Which is an outrage. So they wrote a few emails about Trump and how dangerous he is to democracy. And how he should be opposed. Connect the dots.

These emails set into motion the most secret conspiracy in the history of the world. Because two FBI agents did not like Trump, the entire organization tried (unsuccessfully) to destroy him.

The FBI is an intelligence agency. But so is the CIA. Notice the connection? BOTH are INTELLIGENCE agencies!!! Connect the dots.

The CIA reported that the Russians were trying to influence the 2016 election. Now we know that was false. Vlad Putin is ON THE RECORD as saying that Russia was not involved in the 2016 election. So Mueller was WRONG. Russia had nothing to do with the election. But no one in the Ukraine has ever made the claim that THEY were not involved. Connect the dots.

It was actually the Ukraine that was interfering with the election. Notice that Russia and the Ukraine have a COMMON BORDER. You can actually cross the border from Russia into Ukraine!!! And, we know that both nations have highways and cars! Connect the dots.

So, why did the Ukraine help Clinton? Because of Joe Biden. Biden has a son. Biden’s son did business in the UKRAINE. Biden=Ukraine!!! Why would the SON of a Democrat be doing business in a foreign country? The reason is obvious. CORRUPTION!! Connect the dots.

So, Biden, who PRETENDED to be Hillary Clinton’s opponent in the 2016 primary campaign was actually working behind the scenes to help Clinton get elected with the help of the Ukraine. At the same time Joe Biden’s son was laying the foundation for the Trump impeachment ! It is obvious ! Connect the dots.

So, how did the Ukraine pull this off? Well, by using COMPUTERS! A lot of people do not know this, but there are COMPUTERS in the Ukraine. And COMPUTERS were used to interfere with the 2016 election. Not just any computers. But computers that are actually connected to the INTERNET!!! Connect the dots.

But, Hillary Clinton’s server was also connected to the internet. So, Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton were working together with the Ukrainians. It is obvious. All three , Biden, Clinton and the Ukraine, all had computers. And all were CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET!! A coincidence? Connect the dots.

Which brings us to Barack Obama. Obama was president of the USA during the last election. We now know that Obama was also CONNECTED to the INTERNET with computers in the White House. And who else is connected to the White House? The CIA !!! Connect the dots.

Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, the Ukrainians AND Barack Obama all had internet connections. At the same time!! During the 2016 election. And all of them wanted Hillary Clinton to be elected president. Need I say more? Connect the dots.

Which brings us to Rick Perry. Rick Perry is in the Trump cabinet. But it was Rick Perry that FORCED Donald Trump to call the president of the Ukraine and hold up military aid. Trump did not want to do this. But Perry forced him to do it!! Perry is from Texas. Texas is a state that has gone Republican in the last few elections. But Joe Biden wants to be president and so he wants to win Texas. And Perry is the FORMER GOVERNOR of Texas. The plot thickens. Rick Perry also has a computer which (we now know) is CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET!!! Connect the dots.

Only a fool cannot see the awful conspiracy by the FBI, CIA, the Ukrainians,  Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Rick Perry to destroy the duly elected president of the USA. The best president ever. Connect the dots.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. As Rudy Giuliani reports more and more facts, this conspiracy will get bigger and bigger. I have heard that before this is over a number of folks will be implicated. Remember these names: Oprah Winfrey, Ronald McDonald, Mahatma Gandhi, Tom Brady and Tom Cruise! Don’t be a fool. It’s obvious. Connect the dots.

 

 

What Were You Thinking?

In his testimony about the Mueller Report, Attorney General William Barr explained his reasons for thinking it is not possible to charge Mr Trump with a crime. The key reason being that the prosecutor would not be able to demonstrate “intent”. According to Mr Barr the only way to charge an individual with a crime is if you can prove an “intent” to commit a crime. Even if the person’s own words suggest intent, unless he is explicit that he wants to commit a crime, there can be no trial. Therefore, no indictment is even possible.

This news reached the prisons and defense lawyers around the nation and they responded with glee. Parties were held. Fireworks were set off on Riker’s Island. The fix was in.  No intent, no crime.

So, let’s imagine for a moment that Attorney General Barr, once he is ousted from his current role, becomes a trial judge. Defense attorneys are lining up to have their cases heard before the learned justice.

Case # 1. Johnny Dillinger

Prosecutor: Your honor, the state will show that Mr Dillinger planned and implemented a number of bank robberies. He used the “Lamm technique” of casing a bank, planning a getaway route and then robbing said bank. He was successful and was found with the money. Other members of his gang have admitted to helping him rob banks. The evidence is overwhelming.

Counsel for the Defense: Your honor, the defense admits that Mr Dillinger did plan and execute said robberies. However, it is up to the state to prove “intent”. There is no proof that Mr Dillinger even knew that taking money from a bank was a crime. I mean, he’s not a lawyer familiar with the intricacies of the law. Furthermore, the “intent” of his actions was not to commit a crime, only to obtain money. Money all of us need to live. He saw the bank and thought that the money in the bank would assist him in providing for his family. If robbing banks was not against the law, no crime would have been committed. My client never, in his wildest imagination , “intended” to commit a crime. He only wanted money. Just like everyone else. I move for immediate dismissal of all charges for lack of evidence of “intent”.

Judge Barr: Well argued . The court agrees that while Mr Dillinger may have committed these “crimes”, there is no way to determine whether he “intended” to commit crimes or just wanted money for his family. Case dismissed.

Case #2: Ted Bundy

Prosecutor: Your honor, the state will prove that Mr Ted Bundy committed at least 30 homicides between 1974 and 1978. Included are charges of multiple rapes, kidnapping and necrophilia. He is a serial killer who is the most brutal sociopath and should never again be released to society. . We have the forensic evidence . We will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he is guilty.

Counsel for the Defense: Your honor, the defense admits that Mr Bundy did, in fact, take some of the actions noted by the state. We ask you to consider, however, the “intent” of Mr Bundy. Did he kidnap? Yes. Did he rape? Yes. Did he murder? Yes. But what is the real question? In our mind the ONLY question is this: Did Mr Bundy “intend” to break the law?

When Mr Bundy was kidnapping and raping and murdering was he “intending” to break the law? Or was he just intending to rape ? And kidnap? And murder? If rape and murder were not against the law would Mr Bundy even be subjected to this trial? Nowhere in the state’s case does it prove that Mr Bundy “intended ” to break any laws. Just the opposite. He wanted to follow the law, but his sociopathic desires would not allow him to. In his mind, he “intended ” to do whatever was legal. So, your honor, we are requesting an immediate dismissal of the charges based on the fact that no criminal “intent” was proved by the state.

Judge Barr: Excellent legal analysis. While it is clear that Mr Bundy murdered and raped over 30 individuals, the state did not provide any evidence that Mr Bundy intended to break the law. With this lack of intent I am disturbed that the prosecution has even brought the case against this honorable man. Complete exoneration. Case dismissed .

Case #3: LeRoy Jones

Prosecutor: You honor, Mr Jones was found with 2 bottles of baby formula in his possession , not paid for in the grocery store. This is a misdemeanor and we suggest 2 weeks in jail and a $100 fine.

Counsel for the Defense: We concur with the prosecution and plead guilty.

Judge Barr: Outrageous conduct. Stealing is a major crime. Not only did he take baby formula, he obviously intended to break the law. The days of coddling criminals are over. I sentence the criminal to 1 year in prison and a $1000 fine.  Let that be a lesson to all who would “intend” to break the law.

 

 

The Barr Reports

I won’t go into the current Barr Report which proves without a doubt that the Mueller probe was a witch hunt. After all, the 440 pages show conclusively that there was no Russian interference and Trump is without blemish. So, I don’t even need to read the report. Barr has done that for me. I suggest you don’t read the report either. It is long and there aren’t any pictures. It will just confuse you.

So, that led me to do some research into previous Barr reports which many folks don’t know about. Here are a few I found that were authored by William Barr over the years..

Commission of Pearl Harbor Attack. 

“There is some evidence that an attack occurred on Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. We cannot be certain who attacked the US forces or if, in fact, the attack rises to the level of an “act of war”. The most holy Emperor of Japan has rejected any responsibility for this act and the Japanese navy has likewise stated they have no idea about what happened. Some have even questioned whether such an attack ever took place. So, at this time I must conclude that Japan has been totally exonerated of any criminal activity.”

Moses and the Ten Commandments.

” I have investigated the stone carvings brought down the mountain by Moses. Evidence suggests these were given to Moses (a JEW) by god (aka Yahweh) himself. We cannot report to the public the entire Ten Commandments due to matters of national security. Also, it might hurt some people’s reputations. After months of review I am releasing the redacted version .

“I am the Lord thy god, thou shalt not have other gods before me

Thou shalt (redacted) kill.

Thou shalt ( redacted) commit adultery.

Honor thy father and (redacted).

Thou shalt (redacted) covet they neighbor’s wife.”

The Nazi Death Camps.

“There have been unconfirmed reports that Hitler and the Nazis engaged in the mass extermination of Jews in Germany. We have investigated these charges thoroughly and have come to the following conclusions.

First, Hitler, in his written responses to our questions, has said that he cannot recall any such death camps. He was asked a variety of questions about this and 36 times his memory failed him.He was not available for an actual interview because he was busy vacationing on the Polish border.

Second. There have been no victims coming forth claiming they were exterminated. A basic point of law is called corpus delicti.  If there is no body there can be no crime. It is true that there were a whole lot of ashes, but Hitler says he was just having bar-b-ques and we have no reason to doubt him.

Third. Even if there are death camps we have nothing tying them to Hitler. Just because a few of his underlings may or may not have engaged in wholesale murder that does not implicate the man who gave the orders. Especially since we have no emails from Hitler specifically calling for the death on any particular Jew.

Our conclusion. The Death Camp claims are fake news, A witch hunt by those trying to undermine der Fuhrer.”

The 9/11 Attacks.

“On September 11, 2001 two planes flew into the Twin Towers. That is an indisputable fact. Those planes were flown by citizens of Saudi Arabia. Some claim this was a “terrorist ” attack. Our investigation reaches a different conclusion.

We have concluded that planes were flown into the WTC by accident. First, at no time did the Saudi government claim they were behind the attack. In fact, they were so upset by the attack that members of the Royal Family of Saudi Arabia flew out of the US despite the grounding of all other commercial and private aircraft.

Also, since we were not allowed to interview the ALLEGED terrorists we have no way of knowing their “state of mind”. And “state of mind” is essential for proving a criminal act.

Furthermore , since these pilots had no experience flying big commercial jets it is quite probable that they simply lost control of the aircraft and had no intention of flying into the buildings. Some accounts suggest that thousands of Muslims were in New Jersey watching the planes as part of a planned airshow and actually cheered when they hit the buildings. This leads us to consider that the entire situation may have been one big mistake. No, there is no evidence of collusion. ”

Obama Born in Kenya.

“We have investigated the claim that Obama may have been born in Kenya and so was an illegitimate president.

Consider, two newspapers reported his birth in Hawaii. Also, a hospital and doctor documented his birth. His mother was in Hawaii and is registered as the birth mother. There is no evidence of him being born anywhere else. The Hawaiian government has released certified copies of his birth certificate. Members of the press have visited Hawaii and viewed the original documents.

On the other hand, someone put out an email and claimed Obama was born in Kenya.

Our conclusion: Based on the evidence we conclude that Obama, was, in fact, born in Kenya. we come to this conclusion based on two factors. He is black, as are many Kenyans. Also, President Trump has said Obama was born in Kenya. That’s good enough for me.”