The Verdict Is In

The Evening News, August 3, 2043

Good evening, this is Herbert Herbert with the evening news. 

Our top story today. 

The Trump trials are finally coming to an end.

For those of you too young or disinterested to recall we have a brief rundown of the Trump trials.

Following the 2020 election which then President Trump lost, his team went to court over 50 times to try to overturn the results. All those attempts failed.

On January 6, 2021 President Trump called his supporters to a
“Stop the Steal” rally in Washington, DC. While Congress was officially recognizing Joe Biden as the winner of the election, Trump called on his supporters to march to the Capitol Building or they would not have a country. 

The Capitol was attacked and ransacked. Police were attacked and injured. One woman was shot and killed  attempting to breach the House chambers. Over 1,000 insurrectionists were convicted and sentenced to jail time. The coup d’etat failed.

Subsequent investigations into Trump and his businesses led to a number of court cases. 

A DC trial for insurrection. A Florida trial for the theft of government documents, including top secret ones.  A business corruption trial in NY. A trial in Georgia for his attempt to change the votes in that state. A sexual abuse trial in NY.

In the civil trials Trump and his organization were required to pay large fines.

However, the criminal trials were delayed. Motions by the Trump lawyers in those cases caused multiple delays as judges tried to decide the validity of claims.

In 2024 the US Supreme Court  ruled that , as President, Trump was immune from prosecution for any “official acts”. They then ruled that since there was no definition of “official acts” in the US Constitution, it was incumbent on the US prosecutor to prove the actions of Trump were not official acts.

After lengthy appeals and appeals the prosecutor demonstrated that Trump’s acts were not “official  acts” since the president has no role in determining the results of elections.

In 2025 the SCOTUS, hearing an appeal by Trump,  ruled that the Prosecutor had not made his case and referred the matter back to lower courts. At the same time they ruled that all Trump criminal trials must be delayed until a final adjudication of the issue.

In 2027, responding to a number of Trump appeals, the SCOTUS ruled that Trump could be tried for the Mar-A-Lago documents case because he was not president when he had the top secret documents in his possession. At that point Judge Cannon of Florida set a final trial date in the documents case for July, 2029.

Meanwhile the Trump team had previously appealed the Georgia trial on the grounds that one of the cousins of the court clerk had a previous social interaction with the pet dog of a friend of Fani Willis. After a thorough 1 year investigation the court ruled that the dog had to be put up for adoption to allay any appearance of conflict of interest.

So, by 2031 no criminal trial had begun.

In 2035 Trump argued that the three criminal trials conflicted with each other and so all should be delayed until the Trump lawyers had a chance to decide which trial would go first. After appeals to the Court of Appeals were denied, the SCOTUS agreed to hear the case. They placed it on their docket for the Fall of 2037.

Finally, in 2038 the trial dates were set. Trump appealed the requirement that the trial be held 5 days a week due to religious reasons. He was a longstanding (2 week) member of the Kirshner Bible Church. One of the tenets of the church is that members may only be in a courtroom 1 day a week.

In 2039 the SCOTUS overruled the lower courts and held that forcing Trump to attend the trials more than one day a week violated his sacred right to freedom of worship. But the trials may proceed on that basis.

After being convicted in the Mar-A-Lago trial, judge Cannon set aside the verdict and imposed a not guilty verdict from the bench. On appeal the SCOTUS upheld her decision.

In 2041 the convictions in the DC Insurrection case and the Georgia Election Interference case were obtained by prosecutors.

The Trump legal team immediately appealed  and he was allowed out on his own without bail.

In the end the SCOTUS held that the verdicts in all Trump criminals must be set aside and that Trump could not be charged again in any criminal court.

Writing for the majority, Justice Clarence Thomas (I know, but he is still alive, kind of) stated,”…it is OUTRAGEOUS that this poor man has been the subject of these witch hunts for so many years. Our sacred and holy Constitution gives every citizen the right to a “speedy trial”. The fact that it took the government all these years to finally bring these cases to trial is a travesty . It makes a mockery of our system of justice…”

So, there you have it . Finally in 2043 we have turned the page on the final chapter of the saga of the Trump trials. As he prepares for another run for the highest office in the land.

Herbert Herbert signing off.

MAGA Limericks

MAGA Limericks

The Trump

Once was an orange con named Trump,

Every woman he wanted to hump.

When Stormy he paid,

Just to get laid,

She laughed at his miniscule stump.

Miz Greene

A refined young lady named Greene,

Loved to show pictures obscene.

She fondled a pic,

Of young Hunter’s dick,

The biggest she ever had seen.

The Patriots

The election’s a fraud they all think,

To the Capitol making a stink.

Insurrection they tried,

Cuz Donald had lied,

And now they are all in the clink.

Matt the Creep

Florida Man wanted a chance,

To get into any girl’s pants.

So he went to 10th grade,

And arrangements were made,

For a date to the Homecoming Dance.

SCOTUS

On the Bible they spoke oh so clever

Settled law? “Oh we won’t change it ever.”

But wouldn’t you know,

They got rid of old Roe,

Laughing “Suckers, we’re now here forever”.

 

Moms For Liberty

It’s freedom for parents we need.

Freedom is our special creed.

Except when it looks,

Like we don’t like some books.

Then I’ll tell YOUR kids what they can read.

 

Election Deniers

These election results are a sin.

We never, no never, give in.

Elections are jokes,

And Democrat hoax,

Except for the ones that we win.

 

Voter Suppression

I happen to think it is great,

That democracy is what we all hate.

Certain voters suppress,

Put them under duress

Only MAGats can vote in my state

Nimrata Teaches History

Nimrata Teaches History

I taught the Social Studies for over 30 years and have been retired for some time now.  Nevertheless, whenI saw on line the possibility of taking a history course from an imminent lawmaker I jumped at the chance.  

The Nimrata Haley School of History Teaching and Assorted Facts was offering a single day seminar to help teachers understand the truth about history, especially historical conflicts. Having a Bachelor’s Degree and a Master’s degree had left so many teachers ignorant and lacking in what true history was all about, that Professor Haley deemed it essential to assist them in understanding historical events the right way. 

I never realized how lacking my understanding of history was until so much of it was cleared up by the intensive study offered by the seminars. While there is too much information to share in a short blog post, I will try to focus on the high points of the instruction. 

The seminars were taught  by Nimrata Nikki Randhawa from South Carolina. Now known by her married name, Nikki Haley.

Ms Randhawa’s educational background has clearly prepared her to lecture on the topic of history and interpretations of historical documents. She has a BS degree in Accounting and Finance from Clemson University. She began work at a young age (12) in a couple of clothing stores, “Exotica” a store for women and “The Gentleman’s Quarters”, a similar store for men. Coincidentally these stores were owned by Raj Randhawa, who happened to be her mother. 

Subsequent to earning her BS in Finance  she was able to find a job as a bookkeeper in a clothing store business. Coincidentally owned by her family. So she has a long history of pulling herself up by her bootstraps and has impeccable credentials in the field of history.

But enough of that, let’s get on with the coursework. I will submit a brief list of the various seminars and the main points of each.

The Civil War. This War of Northern Aggression was not fought, as some foolishly claim, over the issue of “slavery”. The real reason for the war was a dispute over the role of government in people’s lives. The issue was how much government interference would be allowed in the free lives of owners of particular types of property. Was certain property going to be considered illegal? Did the big government liberals have a right to interfere with a man’s property? The Confederate states  said: No. Let Freedom Ring !

Bombing of Pearl Harbor. This naval dispute has been misunderstood for years. The issue was this. How many boats could safely be docked at a base in Hawaii. The Japanese naval authority had long suspected that the docks were overcrowded, which could lead to a dangerous condition for the inhabitants of the island. In an attempt to rectify the situation, the Japanese surprised the Americans with a gift. That gift was a method of clearing out the docks and ending the overcrowding. As a result the people of Hawaii could once again use the harbor for windsurfing, boating and other aquatic sports.

Nazi Concentration Camps. The most misunderstood land development program in history.  The issue was a simple one. How do we best assist the Jewish people in finding suitable housing arrangements. Many cities in Europe had overcrowding problems, especially in Jewish areas. Mr A Hitler saw the problem and devised a solution. To help alleviate the problem Mr Hitler had a number of vacation camps built in various countries. He then invited Jews from all over Europe to free housing and (some) food. The Jews demonstrated how grateful they were by working in various jobs and never leaving the camps. A win-win for all.

Global Warming. Some people erroneously think that global warming is due to some kind of fossil fuel burning. What a load of coal. Yes, the world is getting warmer. Cozier, some might say. But the world has always had warm and cold periods. In fact, the core of the Earth is a lot hotter  than the surface. And the core was hot long before the current fake global warming hoax. This is proof that global warming is not new and that the Earth is actually cooling off compared to the past. We need to burn more fossil fuels to get the temperature back up to the original numbers.

I did learn a lot that day. I can’t wait for my next excursion into higher learning. I just received a flyer in the mail from the Marjorie Taylor Greene School of Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. Sounds like a winner.

Sisyphean Democracy

Sisyphean Democracy

The task seemed finished.

 In the 1960s and 70s the arc of history in the USA seemed inevitably to lead to a new democracy. The Civil Rights laws. The Voting Rights Act. Roe v Wade. End of Jim Crow. Opposition to wars of aggression.

The long history of the USA has been a slow slog from plutocracy to democracy. 

Despite the ideas espoused in the founding documents the reality was that in 1789 the USA was not even close to being a democratic society. It was clearly plutocratic and designed to maintain that plutocracy.

The reality did not meet the language. The ideals articulated by the founders were the frosting on the cake. But the cake was inedible.

Over time democratic institutions slowly advanced.  In the “Age of Aquarius” the cake seemed to be finally baked to perfection. It seemed like the end game of the battles for the ideals of the nation. Inevitably, the ideals of the founding documents were slowly replacing the reality of the founders’ lives. 

Over time all white men and all women had acquired the right to vote. Black people had been freed from slavery, re-enslaved, and finally freed from Jim Crow. Child labor had ended. Education for all. Women had achieved equal rights in all areas. A decent minimum wage. Free speech had been widened.

It seemed as though a new era had arrived.

Sysiphus had finally reached the top of the mountain. The boulder of democracy, so long dragged down by the gravity of plutocracy, had reached the summit. And this time. This time was the right time. The best time. The boulder would stick.

We expected that once those achievements had been written  into law, the long, hard climb had finally ended. The people had triumphed. The arc of history was inevitable. We slept the sweet sleep of the victor. 

And then we “woke”.

The boulder had once again rolled down the mountain.

The forces of gravity were too great. Too strong. The Voting Rights Act was gutted, reopening voter suppression all over the nation. Important segments of the media were taken over by those foreign to America and foreign to democracy. Science was attacked. Expertise was attacked. A false “populism” cynically used by those who had only one desire, to maintain control over the people. The list goes on.

So, what do Sisyphean liberals do now? 

The process continues. Shoulder to the boulder. The slow climb to the top of the mountain. The permanent belief that some day, some how, the rock of democracy can be pushed not just to the top of the mountain, but over to the other side.

Not in my lifetime, for sure. But some day.Some day. As long as liberals keep the boulder rolling. And figure out how to defy gravity.

Fourth of July Truths

It’s the Fourth of July!

Tonight,  like last night and the night before,  we will be kept awake until midnight or so with the sound of firecrackers and fireworks. The dog will hide in the bathroom. The local wildlife will be terrorized and confused.

All is as it should  be.

Celebrating “The Fourth” is a tribute to the ideals of America. Freedom. Individualism. Freedom. Independence. Freedom. And, most importantly, freedom.

And boy, do we have freedom. But before we get into that, let’s look at the events we are celebrating. The reality of Independence Day.

Every nation and tribe has its own mythology. The stories they tell about their own origin and greatness. A weaving of a history that has a few threads of truth in a colorful fantasy,  woven into a compelling drama. The Bayeaux tapestry of falsehood. 

The US is not unique in this regard. And that is the point. There is no “American exceptionalism”.  The story of America is quite common. The illusions created about the American past are also quite common.

What was the American Revolution all about? 

To be clear. It was not about freedom. The colonists had the same freedoms as any British citizen or subject. Every colonial charter expressly granted colonists all the same rights as other British citizens.  Free speech. Free press. Freedom of religion. The English Bill of Rights was passed in 1689. The colonists were covered.

The American Revolution was a tax revolt. Pure and simple. Nothing more. The colonists did not want to pay taxes. The British crown demanded that they do. 

From the point of view of the English Parliament it made sense. They were supplying the soldiers to protect the colonists. They were guaranteeing peace and security not only from potentially hostile Native Americans, but from the Spanish and French. The colonists should pay. Keeping a standing army is expensive.

As Parliament increased taxes on the colonies the friction mounted. Until it boiled over when vandals, in disguise, destroyed private property and dumped it in the harbor at Boston. Something had to give.

Going to war over taxes is not a good philosophical position. So, as politicians always do, the Founding Fathers disguised their true intentions with a culture war explanation. Freedom ! Freedom!

“Freedom!”, cried the slave owners. “Freedom”, cried the rapists. “Freedom”, cried the real estate developers who eyed all that land to the west, waiting for development. “No taxation without representation”, cried the colonial male property owners who did not allow others to vote.

So, the Founding Fathers slapped the veneer of “freedom” on their tax revolt. How else could they get the landless, the poor and others to sacrifice for the cause? “… all men are created equal….” . That is a cause worth fighting for.

Now, I am not suggesting we should not celebrate the Fourth of July. What could signify “freedom” better than shooting off firecrackers at midnight to keep babies awake and terrify dogs and wildlife.  This surely exemplifies the true intentions of the Founding Fathers.

A brief aside. Thanks to big  (don’t tax me) interests we finally have a Supreme Court majority that is reinstituting the original meaning of the Constitution. It is an “originalist” majority in every sense of the word.

The Founding Fathers never intended the US to be a democracy. Blacks were slaves and were going to stay that way. Women were chattel and therewas no intention to change that. Non-land owning whites were disenfranchised. The concept of women having control over their own bodies, a black president, working men with the franchise— all would have been unthinkable to Jefferson, Madison and the others. They devised an electoral system to guarantee that the will of the majority would be difficult, if not impossible, to achieve. And the Alito-Thomas court majority agrees with them. True originalists.

So, celebrate the Fourth of July. But be honest about history. And , unless you are a wealthy landowner or religious fanatic, be fearful of the “originalists”. Democracy and freedom (for others) is the last thing on their agenda.

 

A Nation of Five

A Nation of Laws… NOT

You hear it often on news and political talk shows. America is a nation of laws, not  a nation of men. The law is supreme. No one is above the law.

Balderdash.

I am not sure where this erroneous idea started from. Maybe we can blame John Adams and his proposals for the Massachusetts Constitution. 

John Adams, the second president of the United States, is credited with this saying: “(The US is) a government of laws, not of men.”

To put it in context, he wrote:  “In the government of this Commonwealth, the legislative department shall never exercise the executive and judicial powers, or either of them: The executive shall never exercise the legislative and judicial powers, or either of them: The judicial shall never exercise the legislative and executive powers, or either of them: to the end it may be a government of laws and not of men.” 

Perhaps a more accurate description of the reality of the US system would be a quote attributed to Frank Zappa, another political philosopher of more recent times. He said: “The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.”

The idea that “laws” are somehow immune from the manipulation of “men” is absurd. Every law ever written was written by men or women.

The Code of Hammurabi was not handed down by god. The good king simply wanted to put to rest any ambiguity regarding how his domain was going to be run. If you construct a building and it collapses on someone, you die. If you kill a man, you die. Well, there were a few exceptions. If the man or woman you killed happened to be the slave of another, well, then you pay a fine. Same with the building. So, the law had a few loopholes. No man was above the law… except those who could afford to be. 

My, how things have changed.

We have seen that history is replete with lawbreakers who were not above the law. Jews in Nazi Germany were not above the law. Nor were dissidents in Stalin’s Russia. Or political opponents in Putin’s Russia. The blacks who dared sit at a whites-only counter in Alabama or urinate in the wrong bathroom in Florida were certainly not above the law. Nor,evidently, are 10 yer old rape victims. Criminals all.

But unjust laws are still laws. And those who interpret the laws are still men and women with individual political , financial, religious and social ideas and beliefs. There has never been and never will be “impartial” arbiters of the law. 

When I taught government class the students would often wonder what a certain amendment of the Constitution or a specific  law meant. What were the parameters of behavior? My response, seen by some as cynical, I do believe is accurate.

I would say something like this: In the end the law (and Constitution) mean exactly what 5 members (of a nine member Supreme court) say it means. No more, no less. And each of these nine members, although they would deny it, has a strong political philosophy. An ax to grind, as it were. They are liberal or conservative or somewhere in between.

They pal around with wealthy benefactors or speak at civil rights seminars. They accept gifts, sometimes hidden as business deals. They love the adoration of the like-minded. No matter what their political philosophy, their worldview is slanted.

The Supreme Court, like other institutions of government , is and always has been a political body. While they attempt to display an “independence” of thought, the facts and decisions they make speak otherwise. Members of the court have always had “skin in the game” . 

One need only look at some of the decisions made over time. Dred Scott. Plessy v Ferguson. Brown v Board of Education. Miranda v Arizona. Citizens United. Roe v Wade. Dobbs.

IF the court was truly an “impartial” arbiter of the law there would be very few important decisions that were not 9-0. After all, impartial arbiters should certainly come to the same conclusions based on the facts and law. The reality is that 5 people have always held immense power.

We are not a nation of laws, we are a nation of 5. Five men and women who, contrary to the hopes of John Adams, make the laws. They legislate. They are above the law.

The only way to change the system is to recognize the politics of it. No nation , no matter what the propagandists and apologists claim, has ever been a nation of laws. The USA is no exception. Until we admit that, we are doomed to being governed under the political and religious doctrine of 5 people.

Why Can’t A Woman Be More Like A Man?

Rex Harrison sang it in My Fair Lady.

Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;

Eternally noble, historic’ly fair;

So, let us take a trip to the imaginary land of Blalaland.

In Blalaland men are sometimes inflicted with a medical problem. A tumor. Bear with me now. This tumor starts as a few cells and then grows and grows. In the intestinal tract.

Most men find this tumor quite early. Go to a doctor. Some take a few pills and it is easily expelled. Sometimes they do not catch it early and need a minor surgical procedure to deal with it . No big deal.

Now, if a man lets this tumor grow untreated this is what eventually happens. (Children, please leave the room). It grows and grows for months until it reaches about 6 or 7 pounds. Then, it is expelled through the anal cavity. I know. I know. But for a brief period the anal cavity expands to facilitate the expulsion. Still, it may be a bit uncomfortable.

Why do men go through with this ? Well, SOME men think this is an ok thing to do. They see it as a rite of passage into manhood.  A demonstration of their masculinity. Some just like tumors. For some, their religion prohibits them from expelling any tumor. They see it as a gift from God.

Recently in Blalaland there has been a movement, primarily driven by old white women, to ban any attempt to prevent the expulsion

of this tumor. White women overwhelmingly vote for political candidates who seek to outlaw any attempts at medical intervention. They seek to impose their religious beliefs on others. They seek to control the bodies of men.

Of course, these authoritarian candidates lose every election. Overwhelmingly. Men band together and vote as a bloc. They will not tolerate any government telling them what to do with their bodies. They have empathy for other men and what they may go through.They simply think it is none of anyone else’s business.Men, as a whole,simply won’t stand for it.

So much for fantasy.

Reality. In the USA. The majority of white women consistently vote for candidates that impose government control over other women’s bodies. The majority consistently vote for candidates that promise to punish other women who dare seek control over their own bodies. More white women vote Republican.In every election.

Can you imagine that a majority of men, of any political persuasion, would vote to force this kind of intimate government control over the bodies of men? If a political party had as its central tenet,control over the male body? Would that party win ANY elections? It defies imagination. Men would simply not allow it.

So, …..    …..

Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;

Eternally noble, historic’ly fair;

One man in a million may shout a bit.

Now and then there’s one with slight defects;

One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.

But by and large we are a marvelous sex!

Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

Men are so decent, such regular chaps.

Ready to help you through any mishaps.

Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.

Why can’t a woman be a chum?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcpwuK1Fmx4

Parallel Universe

Some guy with fuzzy hair named Einstein opined about the nature of space and time. The idea is that time and space are somehow intertwined and not static. Mutually dependent. In other words time can be experienced differently in different places and space can bend in some places. That concept is beyond the ability of most, if not all, of us to understand.

The best way to explain it is through a story. A woman went to a doctor. He told her he had bad news and good news. “The bad news”, he said , “is that you have one week to live.” Sadly she asked, “Well, what is the good news?”

“The good news,” he said, “is that living with your husband, it will seem like an eternity.”

Which brings me to parallel universes. Evidently some folks believe that it is possible that there are worlds, almost exactly like ours , that exist simultaneously to ours. In other words, there are other Joe Urbans as handsome and wise as I, but giving intense pleasure to others in a parallel universe. Perhaps hundreds of Joe Urbans. My wife cringes at the thought. According to the concept, there are other Earths right alongside our Earth.

For a long time I thought this idea was horse hockey. The TV series “The Man in the High Castle” is one very good example . OK. It’s science fiction. If you like good , intelligent sci fi, I would recommend it. It is well done. But it is a TV series, not a fact.

I have changed my opinion. I no longer think this idea of a parallel universe is nonsense. We need only look at modern America to see why. We live in an age of what Kelly Ann Conway (remember that gem?) called “alternative facts”.

“Alternative facts” are not facts at all. They are false. Untrue. Unsupported. Just what someone says. They exist only because someone said they exist. They have no substance. No evidence supporting them. Illusory.

These alternatives to reality are, however, accepted as valid by millions of people. Now, we have always had “alternative facts” about many things.

The world is flat. Ted Cruz’s father killed JFK. 9/11 was a plot by Bush. Ancient alien visitors built the pyramids. The Jews run the secret world organization that controls us all. Broccoli is good for you.

Throughout history some folks have believed things which are demonstrably false. With no merit. Supported by no evidence. Obviously loony. Koo koo.

Today, however, things have changed. Kelly Ann Conway’s “alternative facts” are considered “real facts” by millions of people. There are entertainment networks and social media organizations that exist only to spread “alternative facts”. No falsehood is too obvious. Or too ridiculous. Or too mean-spirited. Or too nasty.

How can we explain this phenomenon? How is it that otherwise normal people will believe and act on what is obviously false. What has caused them to use violence to “stop the steal” when all the evidence proves there was no “steal”? What causes them to think that Dr. Fauci created covid in order to get rich, just as Al Gore created global warming? I could go on to list a plethora of “alternative facts” that have been embedded in their brains . What makes otherwise normal folks susceptible to this misinformation?

I suggest the following. Parallel Universe.

Parallel universes do exist. Even as we live in one universe today, others live in a completely different universe side by side with us. While we live in a universe of evidence and data. They live in a universe of conspiracy and fantasy.

We may shop at the same stores. Buy gas at the same stations.Eat at the same restaurants. Wear the same clothes. Wave the same flag. Parallel. But not meeting.

It is a universe created out of whole cloth by a man who President Reagan made a US citizen, Rupert Murdoch. A universe honed to perfection by Rush Limbaugh, Steve Bannon, Tucker Carlson and others. A universe that worships at the altar of the god, Donald Trump.

We may have trouble recognizing this universe. We are not part of it and those who inhabit it are not part of ours. This universe does not recognize evidence or facts. It is a universe of unicorns and demons and angels and Martian invaders. Danger is everywhere. Conspiracies explain everything. Evil is all around us and must be destroyed. By any means. Destroyed.

The parallel universe is real. It is a Kelly Ann Conway universe. A place that we cannot go. And those in that universe are trapped. Few escape. It is the Borg. It is a black hole that sucks in everything around it . No escaping for those who get caught in its gravitational pull. They are lost forever in the blackness and emptiness.

They live among us, but do not inhabit the same time or space. Parallel Universe.

How Bout It?

In 2010 a Russian arms dealer named Viktor Bout was sentenced to 25 years in prison for his crime of attempting to sell arms to FARC, a terrorist group in Colombia. He had been arrested in a “sting” operation carried out by US DEA agents in Thailand. They pretended to be members of FARC and got assurances from Bout that he could supply anti-aircraft weapons and 5,000 AK-47s. He never delivered.

He was arrested and sent to the US for a trial. The rationale was that IF he had actually sold the weapons (he didn’t) Americans would have been killed by them. In Colombia. So, the US claimed jurisdiction . Russia, of course, protested and called it a political prosecution.

Bout was convicted by a jury based on the agents’ testimony. His sentence could have been life in prison. Anyone who sells weapons that are used to kill Americans face some of the harshest penalties. In fact, he was convicted on 4 counts. The judge, however, sentenced him to the bare minimum, 25 years in prison. The reason? She was critical of the “sting” operation And stated that if not for the sting he may not have committed any crime. (Note that Bout was a well-known arms dealer who had been delivering arms to rebel groups for years. No altar boy). He was nicknamed by US authorities as “The Merchant ofDeath”.

Which brings me around to American arms dealers.

Bout was convicted of planning to sell weapons used to kill Americans. In his case those weapons were never delivered or used to kill Americans  (these would be Americans fighting in Colombia). Still, a jury convicted him and he was sentenced.

Since the tragedy of 9/11 we have had 22 years of deaths by guns in the USA. Approximately 30-35,000 or more per year. Roughly 800,000 Americans were killed by guns. None were sold to them by Bout.

The guns used to kill Americans were sold by thousands of small gun store owners. They were sold on line. They were sold by Marty Daniel. Daniel is the CEO of Daniel Defense. They were sold by Christopher Killoy. Killoy is the CEO of Sturm, Ruger and Company. Merchants of Death.

Selling AR-15s and other weapons used to kill Americans. Every day . Gun sellers made over $1 billion in profits in the last 10 years just on assault weapons alone. Merchants of death.

Now Putin and the Russians want Viktor Bout back. Maybe it is time for him to return to Russia. Or,  perhaps we should send them Daniel and Killoy instead. After all, they have been much more effective in killing Americans than Bout could ever hope to be. Merchants of death.

How Bout it?

Doggystyle

Recently a Republican congressman named Jody Hice, from Georgia, was trying to make a point about personhood. He asked Fatima Gross , the CEO of the National Women’s LawCenter, whether a woman could give birth to a turtle.

He knew, of course, that a woman could not give birth to a turtle. He was trying to be clever in pointing out that any pregnancy in a woman always results in a “person'” being born.

Now, being a curious human being, I was led to do some of my own research. After all, real research must take into account all the information available to us on the interweb.

I could find no news stories of any woman ever giving birth to a Snapping Turtle or Loggerhead or Slider. Not even any reference to a Eastern Mud or a Pig-Nosed. Nada. So, we can put that possibility aside.

However, that does not mean that a woman necessarily ALWAYS gives birth to a human baby. Interweb research, the primary form of information now cited regularly by those on the right wing of the political spectrum, leads us down the path of true truth. And the truth must always be respected.

In the 17th century a “doctor” by the name of Paolo Zacchia reported the birth of a half human half dog baby. Evidently the canine /hominid hybrid was the result of a dalliance of the woman with her household pet. The “monstrosity” was an example of the awful result of such a union. Italian women were put on alert. Keep the family dog away from your pussy.

Of course, we must take with a grain of salt (or spoon of Alpo) any stories from the 17th century. There is really no way to verify. Luckily we have more recent cases of human – canine intimate interactions.

In 2017 a story emerged from South Africa. It was reported that Samantha Kedder had given birth to a litter of three puppies. Despite the fact that no DNA tests were done, the finger (or paw) was pointed at Jonsey. Jonsey was the family German Shepherd. And the puppies WERE German shepherds! Ms Kedder later admitted that she had frequent intercourse with Jonsey (we assume it was consensual). Evidently Jonsey had mastered the commands of “Down” and “Come” . Still working on “Roll Over”.

But, if you remain a skeptic, there are other examples. The well respected journal “The Atlantic” has reported a number of these multi-genus couplings.

From the World Weekly News we learned that Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton had a big fight over Hillary’s affair with a space alien. Bill had to resort to fisticuffs to defeat the alien, but not before he or it had coupled with the First Lady.

As any regular readers of the news source probably already know, another amorous affair ended with the birth of the famous “Bat Boy”. Found in a cave in West Virginia, the half-bat, half-human was front page news. Some confusion resulted which still remains a mystery to this day. Was the Bat Boy a product of a human (Joe Manchin?) impregnating a bat OR a bat (maybe Batman?) impregnating a female human? We may never know.

To the unbeliever, I give you more evidence. In July , 2016, in Nigeria , a woman gave birth to a half human half frog infant. Or maybe a half toad who can tell? The father was never identified since he had previously croaked.

Also in Nigeria (known as the home of princes) another strange birth took place. A woman who had been pregnant for three years finally gave birth….. to a dog. another example of man’s best friend being a little too friendly to man’s best wife. This happened in a church, so there can be no doubt of the veracity.

But there is more from Nigeria. Just a few months earlier in the same area, a woman gave birth to a goat. A goat! This took place at the Redeemed Chritian Church of God. A miracle? Or a case of Billy Goat Gruff running amok? It should be bleating obvious.

The lesson here is clear. Members of the gentler sex will screw anything that walks on all fours. No wonder they get cooties. Now , some might argue that these poor women were not responsible for these births. To that I say, “Ever hear of birth control”? Take responsibility. Be sure to take a doggy bag on those long walks with Fido.

Of course these women were not raped. Noted former congressman Tod Akin knows human biolgy. In 2012 he pointed out that a woman cannot get pregnant if raped. Her body does stuff to prevent that pregnancy. Along the same lines, another Republican candidate for Congress, Yesil Vega of Virginia made a similar claim. Because a rapist does it “quickly” it is very unlikely that rape will result in a pregnancy. Speed is the key. If a man ejaculates in a matter of seconds, pregnancy is impossible. Hmmm. Makes me wonder how I fathered 2 kids? I need a long talk with Betsy.

So any woman who claims she is pregnant, from man or beast, cannot claim rape. Impossible. Liars all. They wanted it.

Back to bestiality. Evidently the issue of human animal interactions of an intimate nature have long been a problem. That explains why the good book condemns such liaisons. Perhaps it is time for Congress to act. Finally, a platform that GOP politicians can run on. A national crisis. Perhaps outlawing “doggy style” activities.

Jody Hice, take notes.

Biting My Tongue

Last week I traveled to Ohio to see my nephew and his young family. These folks were flying in from Europe with their kids. I hadn’t seen them in 4 years and was happy to see the little ones, especially.

Why Ohio? Because the parents of these relatives live in Ohio and so they would be staying there. These relatives (very close relatives) who live in Ohio are fervent Trump supporters. Members of the cult. Unmoving in their love of the Donald.

So, I was determined to keep my mouth shut.

There was really no point. So, we avoided all discussions of politics. Which was hard for me. As anyone who knows me can relate, my ability to keep my mouth shut when it comes to politics takes an enormous amount of will power. And will power is not my strong suit.

For two days we hung around saying nothing of import. Nothing of consequence. Very uncomfortable.

It is hard to have relatives who have fallen into the cult. But it raises some issues.

Were they always racist and Trump just allowed that to be used as a badge of loyalty? I suspect so.

Were they always anti-democracy, authoritarian and willing to give loyalty to a tyrant? Evidently so.

Did they always hate the concepts of liberalism which gives them a good life today? I guess so.

It is ironic to me that these relatives still support the tyrant. Still hate all things liberal. After all, they both are supported by Social Security.They both have Medicare. They have safe lives. Members of their family get benefits as retired veterans, earned, from the military. They live on a safe street in a safe neighborhood. All the things liberals have fought for and the conservatives have opposed. And they hate liberalism.

I recall a conversation I had with one of them a few years ago. She talked about how she would never vote for Hillary Clinton. When I asked why her answer was that Hillary should have divorced Bill when his affair was exposed. Hillary had no integrity. She only votes for people with integrity.

Then, this relative proceeded to vote twice for Donald Trump. A serial sexual offender. A man who changes wives and girlfriends like changing the oil in your car. He was her hero. He loved America. Boys will be boys.

So, they have gone down the rabbit hole and are lost. They will never crawl out. No amount of evidence or facts will change their minds. A cult. Lost to a cult. Lost.

So, I seldom see or talk to these relatives. I do think they are racists although they will not admit it. (I should add that they really hated Obama). I do think they have lost all ability to consider evidence. They live on a steady diet of Fox . No need to watch the January 6 hearings, Fox will tell them what to think. Like the “See no evil, hear no evil” monkeys. Closed to ideas. Loyal followers.

So, we have no relationship except on the most surface levels. Close relatives. No longer.

I have to stay silent. I have to bite my tongue. Ouch.

Trump’s Chimps

When Jane Goodall first studied chimpanzees in the wild she learned that they are peaceful animals for the most part. The problem with her first study was that it was limited mainly to female chimps, including the very good mother, Flo.

As time went on and more data was collected it became evident that chimp behavior could be anything but peaceful. Especially among male chimps vying for power. I say male chimps because unlike bonobos the males are bigger , stronger and more aggressive than females. And unlike gorillas, our more distant relative, the common chimpanzees live in larger groups with multiple males.

The political power structure of chimps centers around groups of males, supporting each other. One male chimp stands above the others. He achieves this role through violence and intimidation. He makes the other male chimps cower before him. Then he uses that collective power to maintain control of the group.

In order to keep that power he must continually reassert his dominance. Once in a while a younger chimp may challenge him. At that point his gang comes to support him and fend off the challenger. At some point, however, when he starts to get old and vulnerable another chimp will successfully challenge him and become the new leader. Demanding the same allegiance from the group. Subserviant males would approach the ruler and hold out a hand in demonstrating their complete loyalty.

Of course there will be males who simply leave the group run by the bully. It was noted in the group that Goodall studied. A number of males left the original group and went to an adjoining territory. The original males , led by their boss, tracked down the other males. But they did not attack them as a group.

They waited until they found a male alone, then the entire gang systematically attacked and beat the ex-patriot to death. They did this to each male as they found him. Ambushed. Brutal gang attacks on lone males. Those murdered males had been part of their society and probably related to some of them. The attacks occurred for no apparent reason since the break off group was not threatening their territory.

As we now know, chimpanzees are our most closely related primate. (Some claim bonobos are just as close or closer). Some anthropologists have suggested that human beings are, in fact, a type of chimpanzee. But, since humans make the categories they decided they were unique.

Which brings me to Trump’s chimps.

Are there some genetic components in human beings that demand the type of leadership Trump provides? Violent. Vindictive. Allowing no deviation from the leader. Total humiliation of others, even his closest supporters.

Do human beings, at least many of them, welcome the bully as leader. The tough guy who manipulates others to do his dirty work. The man who governs by intimidation.

Are democracies doomed by human DNA?

Julius Caesar. Adlof Hitler. Napoleon Bonaparte. Idi Amin. Pol Pot. Josef Stalin. Mao Zedong. Saddam Hussein. Donald Trump. Henry VIII. Putin. The list goes on.

No strong man acts alone. He intimidates others who buckle under his will. He eliminates anyone who defies him, further intimidating those around him. A technique so old and so often used that it is hard to imagine there is not some genetic component.

Perhaps Trump’s chimps are normal and those of us who believe in democracy are the outliers, genetically. Perhaps democracies are doomed to eventually give way to authoritarianism. Perhaps there is an inherent need for humans to reject the idea of group decision making in deference to a strong man. After all, democracy demands responsibility. Isn’t it easier to give that responsibility to one man and unburden the individual from thinking and acting. Easier to give up responsibility for society. Empathy is hard.

A frightful idea. That Trump’s chimps are the inevitable end game of our democracy.The “normal” ones. Encoded in our DNA.

Harden Schools, Hardened Hearts

After the latest school shooting in Uvalde. Well, this is 5 days later so maybe not the latest. At any rate, after the regularly scheduled school shooting, the party of guns had possible answers to this national event.

Luckily I was able to catch the attention of Ted Cruz. It wasn’t hard since I had a camera. This is the same Ted Cruz who cleverly escapes the frequent Texas electrical grid failures by flying to Cancun. The guy whose father helped assassinate JFK. Not what I say, that’s what former President Donald says. The man Trump called an “unstable person”.If anyone should know…

So, I asked Ted to explain how he would make schools safe.

Ted: We need to make schools safe. As my good friend President Trump as said, schools need doors that lock. From the inside. Doors inside the school that lock.

Me: As a teacher of over 30 years I know a little about school safety. So, Ted, every school has doors with locks.

Ted: And that is the problem. Too many doors. You see , we need to harden schools by having only one door. That door should be secure, guarded and locked from the inside. Easy. Stop blaming the guns and put the blame were it belongs, our liberal unsafe schools.

Me: But, Ted , some schools have 1000 or more students. With one door how long will it take for them to enter and exit. Kids will be lined up outside. Won’t they be even easier targets for some mentally ill guy with an AR-15.

Ted: Easy solution. What you need is a fence around the schools . A brick fence about 10 feet high so no one can see around it to target kids. And, to prevent them from climbing over it, put razor wire on top. And towers at the corners with snipers to make sure no bad guys approach the school.

Me: We have 130,000 schools in this nation. So, you are proposing 130,000 fortresses?

Ted: If that is what it takes to keep our children safe. Let me reiterate. One door in each school. With locks. One highly paid resource officer at the door. Armed. A brick fence surrounding the school, manned by snipers. A small price to pay for the children. The children! Thoughts and prayers. Sad.

Me: Back to the school. If there is just one door what happens if there is a fire? How do the kids get out?

Ted: We need to make sure the site is completely hardened. That means no flammable material. No paper products of any kind. Nothing that can burn. We need to eliminate all books and writing materials.

Me: OK.. what about the windows. Couldn’t a shooter fire through the windows?

Ted: No windows. Solves the problems. An all brick building with one door.

Me: Well, that sounds a lot to me like a prison. Except in prison the convicts get to read books.

Ted: Exactly. And how many prisons have you seen where a mass murderer was able to get in and kill many convicts at once with an AR-15. Just does not happen. There is the proof. Make every school a prison. No place safer than a prison. Problem solved.

Me: Wouldn’t it be easier to prevent the bad guys from getting the AR-15s in the first place.

Ted: But then kids would not have their 2nd Amendment rights ! Just imagine the kind of society we would have if AR-15s were illegal or the mentally ill could not get a gun? What kind of nation would we become?

Me: Wouldn’t all children be safer? In every school? In every community?

Ted: Maybe so, but then when could I offer my thoughts and prayers.

Time for Replacement

There is an important political movement afoot. It is called “Replacement Theory”. It goes something like this.

The white race is on the verge of being “replaced” by the non-white races. (Disclaimer:I am a member of the white race). Because the white race is being replaced by the other races it is necessary to take actions to stop this replacement.

At this point I will not bore you with scientific-type stuff. Like the fact that there is only one human race. The idea that the concept of race is a social construct, not biological reality. Science only exists if you think it exists. Replacement theory cannot be constrained by evidence, facts, science, etc. What fun would that be?

Replacement theory has been the basis for much violence. Killings of blacks, Asians, Jews, etc. have all been linked to replacement theory. Replacement theory is mother’s milk to Tucker Carlson and other right wing ideologues. Think of all the mass murders in the last 10 years or so.

How many mass murders were committed by black folks? How many black men have used AR-15s and entered a white church and murdered people. How many Hispanic immigrants have killed white children at day care centers. How many Asian immigrants have bombed white owned businesses?

The master race, of which I am a member , has a long history of replacement. Replaced Native Americans in North and South America. Replaced aboriginal populations in Australia. Replaced black Africans in South Africa. The history of the white race is one of replacement.

And who can forget the giants of the white race replacement history. The Conquistadors and their progeny who enslaved most of Latin America.. The British who replaced and colonized North America, South Africa and Australia. More recently the great white replacement heroes like Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Putin and others who justify violence on the Jews, Slavs, Ukrainians, etc.

It seems time for the new replacement to take place. I support the replacement of the “white race” by people “of color”. Look at some of the white race and tell me the world would not better without them in power. Trump? Tucker Carlson? Marjorie Taylor Greene? Josh Hawley? Ted Cruz? The list goes on.

The historic and continuing violence of the white race seems to cry for replacement. Must be a genetic defect. A violence gene. An ignorance gene. A hate gene. Seems like a certain number of the master race, along with the leadership of the master race are genetically defective.

So I appeal to people of color all over America. Please, please REPLACE us as the majority. PLEASE replace Tucker and Donald and all the other blatant racists. The sooner replacement takes place, the better. The master race had its chance. It failed. Time for replacement.

Step One… Accomplished

The recent leaked opinion about Roe v Wade, written by Justice Alito, demonstrates exactly where the radical court is heading.

Overturning Roe v Wade and taking away a family”‘s right to decide how many children they want is just the first step.

Justice Alito has outlined his thinking on the abortion issue. But more important, it sets a foundation for overturning many other rights that people had assumed we had as citizens. The core of Alitio’s decision is this: The right to an abortion is new. It has no history in America. He is clear that a legitimate reason for overturning a Supreme Court decision can be based on this idea. It is not EXPLICITLY mentioned in the original Constitution and it has no longstanding history of being recognized as a right.

He even goes back to the 17th century to explain that “common law” historically viewed abortion as illegal and criminal. He refers to a multitude of 19th century writings which express the same sentiment. Women do not have the right to an abortion. This is the fundamental principle on which his decision rests.

Of course, following Alitio’s reasoning we can see where this leads. While he gives a passing reference to the 9th and 10th Amendments he then ignores that very important part of the Bill of Rights. The founders, after all, debated what rights should be included in the Bill of Rights. Knowing it was impossible to include ALL rights, they included those amendments as safety valves meant to include future rights as may be identified. That was the “original” Constitution which the “originalists” constantly ignore.

Following Alito’s reasoning it becomes apparent that any right not specifically mentioned in the Constitution AND with no long history in common law is not a right at all. All are now up for grabs. Where does this lead?

Until the 1950s women had virtually no legal rights in many states. It was a tradition. A woman could not get credit in her own name and had few rights her husband could not decide.Husbands and wives, in the privacy of their own bedrooms, were not allowed to use birth control. That was the longstanding American tradition.

Until the 1960s blacks were effectively prevented from voting by state laws in southern states. Literacy tests. Poll taxes. A longstanding American tradition.

Until the 1960s black Americans could be prevented from buying houses, marrying non-blacks, eating at restaurants, renting hotel rooms, drinking at water fountains, sitting on buses, etc. Black Americans , by law, could not attend schools with white children. A very longstanding American tradition.

Until recently homosexual behavior was illegal and punishable by prison terms. Tradition. Homosexuals were not allowed to marry. They had no rights to adopt. Certainly a longstanding American tradition.

Make no mistake. The fundamental concept articulated by Alito has massive ramifications in all areas of life. State legislatures will attempt to return to a more repressive system. Be certain that there are many state legislatures chomping at the bit to take away rights from blacks, immigrants, homosexuals, news organizations, etc. The current majority on the Supreme Court now has a firm basis on which to overturn any well established Supreme Court decision.

This decision is just step one.

Families v Big Brother

We are on the verge of a return to big government interference in family affairs.

I am referring to the upcoming overturning of Roe v Wade by the activist , right wing majority on the Supreme Court. I think most of us would be very surprised if the McConnell majority does not decide that a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy no longer exists. One of the few (first?) times a SCOTUS has taken away a well established right.

Of course, as a practical matter this makes little difference. The SCOTUS for years has turned a blind eye to the real elimination of this right, state by state. For all practical purposes abortion has been illegal for years in many states, at least for poor families. Chipping away, slowly, until the right to abortion exists only in theory, not practice. Especially for poor families.

Notice, I hope, that I write “families”.

This ongoing attack on the right to an abortion has been seen by the left as a “woman’s issue”. It is. But it is much more than that. By ignoring the wider implications of the attack on abortion rights the liberals have played into the hands of the right wing. Yes, women get pregnant. But the abortion issue is not just about women.

The left needs to wake up and see the issue in much wider terms. They need to aggressively demonstrate the fundamental importance to men. To families.They need to frame the issue in a different way.

In the final analysis the argument breaks down to this.

Who has the right to determine how many children a family can have? Is it the family or is it big government? Should mom and dad decide, or should they be controlled by a law made by the state legislature? Who knows better ? Who should decide how may kids a man or woman can support, the family or big brother?

You would think that conservatives, who have panic attacks when asked to wear a mask, would be on the side of the family. But they are not. This is one area where they care not for “freedom” from big government. They demand big government. They demand the suppression of family rights. They show their true, authoritarian, colors.

In Germany in the 1930s the Nazis demanded that “Aryan” women have more babies. For the fatherland. The state decided how many babies a family could have. It is called authoritarianism.

In communist China in the 1960s the government demanded that families in cities limit themselves to one child. Only one. If the first child was a girl many families committed infanticide, hoping for a boy next time. The state decided how many babies a family could have. It is called authoritarianism.

In the USA today we have the same attitude .The state should decide how many children a family will have. Not mom. Not dad. Big brother. The only true function of a family is to add babies. No matter the emotional or economic cost. It matters not what the family wants. Authoritarianism.

So, if a man or woman s working hard to make ends meet and does not want another mouth to feed, too bad. The state will decide. If a woman has a medical condition that may put her in danger with another pregnancy, too bad. The state will decide. Authoritarianism.

Families no longer have rights .These same folks who whine and cry about “freedom” from vaccines or mask wearing seem to care little about the freedom of a man and woman to plan their family size.

This is where the “pro-choice” movement has missed the boat. For the most part they have left fathers and families out of the equation. They have allowed the right wing to ignore family rights and men’s rights when it comes to the issue. They have been unwittingly complicit in focusing on this as ONLY a woman’s issue. It is much more than that.

Abortion rights need to be more clearly described for what they are. The right of a dad and mom to decide for themselves how many children they want. A fundamental right of a family to choose . Ending the right to an abortion eliminates the right of the family to determine it’s own destiny. Authoritarianism.

Zippy versus Ted

February, 2023. The death of another Supreme Court justice has created an opening for President Biden to make another appointment. He put forth over 54 candidates but none of them could pass the now GOP led Senate. All them were rated “excellent” by the US Bar Association, but all were found lacking in some way.

Some were black. Some were women. Some were Jews. Some were Muslims. Some were too tall. Some were too short. Some were right handed. Some were left handed. Some could read and write. Each and every one had some profound defect which prevented them from even being given a hearing by the GOP dominated Senate.

Until Zippy.

Zippy the Chimp had the basic qualifications that Mitch McConnell and Ted Cruz sought for this lifetime appointment. So, President Biden reluctantly relented and sent Zippy to the Senate Judiciary Committee hearings.

It was decided there would be only one camera in the meeting and it would always be focused on the distinguished chairman, Ted (Cancun) Cruz. Cruz had changed the committee rules so only he could ask questions, which upset Senators Cotton and Hawley, who needed camera time as well. But, Ted was adamant. The Democrats refused to participate, claiming (without support) that a chimpanzee is not intellectually qualified to sit on the Court. Ted and Mitch McConnell disagreed, citing Justice Kavanaugh as an example. Ted would rule the committee with an iron hand.

So, here, in its entirety is the transcript.

Ted: Thank you Zippy, for your presence here today. We will keep the meeting very short as I have a plane to catch to Cancun.I do it for my daughters. My lovely daughters. Let’s get to it. For the record, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and all that stuff?

Zippy: Hoot Hoot. (translation: I have no idea what you just said)

Ted: OK. Good answer. How would define banana?

Zippy: (excited) HOOOOT…HOOOT…hoot hoot (translation: Banana! Did I hear banana ? Give me a banana. Give me banana)

Ted: Very good. Do you think that men are men and women are women and blacks are blacks and whites are whites and that is how god made them?

Zippy: Hoot. Hooot…hooooot. (translation: I’m sure you said banana. Where is the banana?)

Ted: Excellent answer. Now, I have this book here called ” Das Kapital”.It was written by someone named Marx, I think it was Harpo Marx, but my staff is researching that right now. Do you think we should be teaching about this , what I call, economic pornography, to our Kindergarteners? Kindergarteners? Many liberal schools are teaching that book right now as we speak.

Zippy: HmmmHmmm …Hoot…hoot…Hmmm (translation: I think you meant Karl Marx, the 19th century economic philosopher and father of communism. What about the banana?)

Ted: I am glad you agree. Moving on. Every life is sacred. When I think of the embryos! Oh, my heart goes out to the embryos. (a small tear appears in his left eye). Don’t you agree that we must stop the madness of a woman deciding for herself how many children she wants. Shouldn’t the government decide that?

Zippy: Hoothoothoot…pant..hoot. (translation: They told me there would be bananas. Where in the name of Jane Goodall are the bananas? This is getting serious!)

Ted: Final question. Big government overreach. How DARE the government tell people to wear a mask or get a vaccine. Big brother. Telling us men what to do. How dare the government decide what is best for me. Don’t you oppose the liberal-communist-socialist agenda designed to take away our basic rights as men?

Zippy: Hoot Pant Hoot Pant …HOOOT..HOOOT. (jumping up and down on the table and banging his coffee mug in frustration, hair standing on end, bristling) (translation: You SOB. I was told there would be bananas. I’m missing reruns of “The Apprentice” for this? INSANE! I’m outta here.)

Zippy leaps away from the table and runs toward the back of the room, knocking over chairs, people and water bottles as he bolts toward the door.

Ted: Well, that was a fine display of concern and emotion. Such passion for the issues. For the Constitution. I know all of my Republican colleagues join me in saying that Mr Zippy is a shoe -in as the next justice of the Supreme court. Bye-bye, Zippy.

Zippy turns, displays his rump to Ted, and scampers away.

And the average IQ of the committee room is lowered by 17 points.

The Death of Borys

A few years ago I visited Poland with my brother. On a side trip from Krakow we took a bus trip to see the horrific concentration camps at Auschwitz and Birkenau. (See link below).

Estimates are that 6,000,000 human beings were murdered in these camps. Some , however,survived.

Boryus was one of those survivors. He had survived Buchenwald. He had survived Peenemunde. He had survived Dora. He had survived Bergen-Belsen.

In 2012 Boryus Romanchenko attended a special ceremony celebrating the liberation of Buchenwald. He spoke about the need to create a world where peace and freedom will thrive. An old man who had survived the mot vile political movement designed by man, Naziism.

In 2018 Boryus attended another ceremony at Buchenwald. He was one of the last 3 living survivors of the camp. The last living links to the horror foisted on human beings by the mad man, Hitler.

Boryus was living peacefully in his apartment in Kharkiv, Ukraine, when it was targeted by the Russian attack. A civilian target. An apartment building.

Boryus survived Hitler. Himmler. Goebels.

Boryus lived for 77 years after his liberation. He thought he had survived the worst.

But Boryus Romanchenko, at the age of 96, could not survive Putin.

https://josephurban.wordpress.com/?s=auschwitz

Time for a Change

Looks like the US Senate has finally agreed to throw aside partisan politics and solve some important issues. After years of mindless squabbling for partisan advantage, they have come together to deliver a victory to the American way of life.

Hunger? Latest estimates claim that 17,000,000 American children go hungry every day. Nope.

Gun violence? 20,726 gun deaths in 2021. Excluding thousands of suicides. Not today.

Health Insurance? In 2020, over 28,000,000 Americans did not have health insurance at some point during the year. Oops.

Voting rights? State after imposes new hurdles to stop black folks from casting a ballot. No big deal.

Nope. Those issues, while important to some, pale compared to the tough choices made by the Senate.

Time. What time is it? Time for a change. The issue bringing together Mark Rubio and Corey Booker is the issue of time. Is it 5 PM or 4 PM? Do we wake up at 5AM or 6AM? The greatest debating body in the world (as they like to call themselves) have finally decided to take to the floor and debate an issue of timeless importance.

Daylight Savings Time. How should we accept the challenge of time? Right now most Americans are forced to change there clocks twice a year. TWICE!! Outside of wearing a mask to prevent the spread of a deadly virus, can you think of a greater infringement on freedom? The outrage! The unmitigated gall !!

So. Led by the staunchest defender of the rights of men (not women) the Senate UNANIMOUSLY passed a law making time permanent. Little Marco Rubio charged forth and spoke about the tremendous benefits of DST. From his speech…..

““The benefits of Daylight Saving Time have also been accounted for in the research. For example, reduced crime as there’s light later in the day. We’ve seen decreases in child obesity. A decrease in seasonal depression that many feel during Standard Time. ……

“I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’ve watched youth sporting events be called in the middle or near the end of the game, before it’s actually concluded, because there’s not enough lights. …”

The HORROR! Fat kids roaming around. Violence in the streets . Mental illness running rampant. (Nothing to do with poor quality school lunch programs or the easy availability of guns or lack of mental health facilities). These problems are all cause by STANDARD TIME!!! Marco has finally put to bed the myth that people may have problems because of poor government. Nope. It’s all about time.

All those kids who would prefer to be running around after school are instead forced to be in their basements on their computers because of standard time! If only we had known years ago we could have ended crime by simply setting the clocks up one hour!

I am reminded of a study that came out over 20 years ago suggesting that high schools should start later because kids need more sleep and don’t function well in the morning. My own faculty discussed it at the time and while a minority (me, of course) thought it made sense, the idea was quickly dumpstered by the administration. Not based on science. The reason was simple. If we started school and hour later it would cut into the after school sports programs. Education be damned, pass me the ball.

Of course, Little Marco was not alone in his excitement and vocalizations. Across the aisle members speechified about all the wonders of DST. Patty Murray, Dem of Washington state, pointed out that for one day the change over “disrupted” children’s sleeping patterns !! Disrupted sleeping patterns? Tell it to Ukrainian mothers.

And,of course, no debate would be complete without hearing from that proponent of freedom and fashion plate, Senator Sinema. You know, the one who opposes the voting rights of minorities and the Build Back Better bill. The female with the fashion flair . The conscience of white America. According to the NYTimes when the vote was passed, this senator was presiding over the chamber. She shouted “Yes!” and clenched her fists in VICTORY!! One small step for mother time…. one giant leap for …well, something.

So, the sun will rise and the sun will set. And the Senate has decided to decide to put a new number of that phenomenon. Perhaps someone should tell them that the laws of nature still decide the actual time of day. Or maybe not. Why not pass a law eliminating Mondays. We hate Mondays. Call Mondays something like “The Day Before Tuesday”. Sounds pretty good. OR.

Who knows, the Senate might decide to pass a law demanding that the Earth spin on its axis. Might even get Joe Manchin to go along. Maybe.

Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. day has come and gone again. The same old “content of their character” line has been parroted by GOP politicians who do everything they can to keep blacks from voting. Again. Yawn. Does anyone with a brain think that these guys believe anything they say? Do their supporters believe them? Do they care?

The 2nd Amendment. Gun toting illiterates continue to read the Constitution very selectively. They ignore the first few words. The part about the well-regulated militia. Which has inspired me . I read the 10 Commandments the same way. Instead of “Thou shalt not steal”or “Thou shalt not bear false witness” I simply ignore the first few words. “…steal”.. “bear false witness”….”covet they neighbors goods”.

The Trump election lie. It continues. It is disturbing. We see Trump and his lemmings claiming he won an election he lost by at least 7,000,000 votes. Trump and his clowns have gone all out fascist. All elections the GOP does not win are stolen. Put election workers in jail. Put all political enemies in jail. Trump is stronger than ever in the GOP and the GOP is more fascist than ever. If you are not terrified you are not paying attention. Or you are a fascist.

Dak Prescott, a football player, makes about $2,500,000 each game he plays. He is paid about $80,000 each time he stands behind the center and the ball is hiked to him. When he tried to run the ball and was unsuccessful at the end of the Dallas-San Francisco game he earned $80,000. If he throws an incomplete pass he earns $80,000. If he fumbles he earns $80,000. How much does a cop, teacher, sanitation worker, etc . make where you live? How many hours of labor to earn $80,000?

Senator Manchin and Sinema (the yacht guy and the fashion doll) refuse to support voting rights for all citizens. The narrative seems to be that these two inferior senators are solely responsible for the end of democracy. Well, hello there. What about the GOP senators. Every one is opposed to voting rights. Every one. The pretend “moderates” like Romney, Collins, Murkowski all oppose voting rights. The “Constitutionalists” like Cruz, McConnel, Rubio all oppose voting rights. Why are they exempt from blame? Do we now just assume that to be a Republican is to be opposed to voting rights?

One an hour. A Washington Post story recently pointed out the incredible violence being done against our children. In 2021 one child was shot , on average, every hour of every day. In the greatest country on Earth. Let me repeat. Every HOUR of every DAY one American child is shot with a gun. This is not an emergency.This is not a problem. This demands no action from government. One child shot every hour of every day. Acceptable. Collateral damage. Just the way it is. Nothing can be done. Over the last 3 years Japan had a total of 38 incidents with guns. Japan has 127,000,000 people. More children were shot in less than 2 days in the US than ALL the people shot in Japan in 3 years. Nothing can be done.

Critical Race Theory must be denied. So says the new governor of Virginia, along with the entire GOP. It cannot be taught to our children, even though it has never been taught to our children. It must be denied. Also, we need to deny the so-called Theory of Gravity. And Germ Theory. And the Heliocentric Theory. Because evidence based theories are just opinions. Evidence no longer exists. Only opinions.

Ban the Book, Burn the Book

A Virginia school board has decided they need to ban or even burn some books that are harmful to kids. Well done. These books may have some kind of sexual discussions or bad ideas. Bad ideas. Bad books. Time for a burning.

Normally I am pretty liberal guy but on this score I find myself agreeing with the good Christian school board members. Some books need to be banned, perhaps even burned. Fahrenheit 451 -style. Starter kindle for the football bonfire. Go, team, go. Burn ,baby, burn.

I confess I don’t know exactly which books need to be burned. I am sure there is a list somewhere. But I have a suggestion for an addition to the list if this book is not on it already.

Genocide, incest, masturbation, excessive violence, murder, kidnapping, nudity, prostitution, sodomy, rape and more. Can we keep kids from being exposed to this putrid and disgusting book and the ideas in it? Burn it, baby, burn it.

Let me shock you with some examples of the filth that this book encourages.

Genocide. It calls for the complete destruction of an entire race of people.Including innocent men, women and children who have done no harm to anyone.

Incest. It documents incestuous relationships between a father and daughter. Disgusting.

Masturbation. It talks about masturbation which no child should ever know about.

Excessive violence. It depicts horrendous acts of violence against an innocent man who had never harmed anyone in his life.

Murder. It focuses on the murder of a number of innocent people, and justifies those murders.

Kidnapping. It describes a kidnapping and betrayal of family members by other family members.

Nudity. It justifies nudity as a “natural ” state of being. Ugh!

Prostitution. It defends prostitutes instead of condemning this abuse of women.

Sodomy. It discusses homosexuality and sodomy,which is something our kids need not be exposed to.

Rape. A woman is raped and violated in one part of the book. Outrageous.

And there is much more.

The bad news is that this book is on NO LISTS of books to be banned or burned. For some reason it escapes the close scrutiny of words reserved for books by Toni Morrison and other authors of questionable skin color.

Below are some examples of excerpts from this book, but these examples just scrape the surface. I cannot name the book because I fear being sued by its authors, but an astute investigator can search out the sources for himself. BURN, BABY,BURN. Think of the harm done to our children !!

Genocide: Deuteronomy 20; 16-18

Incest: Genesis 19: 32-35

Masturbation: Leviticus 15: 1-18

Murder: Judges 19:29

Kidnapping: Genesis 37: 12-36

Nudity: Genesis 2:25

Prostitution: Ezekiel 23: 11

Sodomy: Judges 19:22

Rape: Genesis 34: 2-3; Genesis 19

A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell

The judge in the Rittenhouse murder trial refuses to allow the victims to be called victims.

The judge said: Don’t you call them victims, just because they was shot.

But you can call them looters, if that’s the word you care.

Attorney: But judgie they was murdered, in cold blood

In the street. They never stole a nickel, so that just don’t seem fair.

The judge: Well, they was demonstrating.

And marching in the street.

Attorney: But marching is all legal.

Just walking with your feet.

The judge: I call em as I see em. And when I see those folks

they look like their itchin for a fight.

Attorney: Not so, my judge, all they was doin

was exercising rights.

The judge: The right to march? well, maybe.

But I don’t like it none.

Attorney: Still, judge is that a reason to

Attack them with a gun?

The judge: The Rittenhouse boy was serving

the interests of the law.

Attorney: The tapes show something different.

Murder is what we saw.

The judge: No, the boy came here to help. To keep the peace

and help the police kick butt.

Attorney: He was a vigilante. A madman and a nut.

The judge: Watch your mouth, attorney, in my courtroom you say only words

that I allow, or else you have to pay.

Attorney: A victim is a victim, by any name you choose.

I expect there’ll be no justice if you control the words I say.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Many years ago I read a book titled “The Nine Nations of North America”. It was a look at the various cultural, economic and political similarities and difference among the various states. It may have included Canada and Mexico but I don’t recall. At any rate, it pointed out the divisions based on geography that have existed and persist in the USA. There have been other books along similar themes since then.

Since 1980 the US has devolved into a greater degree of regionalism, in my opinion. The differences between regions have been hardened by politics. Perhaps it is time to change.

We live in a nation of 330,000,000 people. Too big to govern. Too many competing interests. But more importantly, because of the structure of the government we are in a place where minority rule dominates. Rural areas have more power than their population would demand if the system were truly democratic.

To illustrate, the 25 smallest states have somewhere between 11-12% of the population, yet they control 50% of the votes in the US Senate. This is just about equivalent to the population of California, which controls 2% of the Senate. If you include the filibuster into the mix you can see that states representing about 9% of the population can stop any law from proceeding. Untenable for a democracy.

Since a handful of small states hold virtual veto power over the national government this system will not change. It would take a Constitutional amendment, which these states can easily block. This system makes governing 330,000,000 impossible.

Time to break up the USA into 5 regional governments. Perhaps they could support a common military for defense purposes, but other than that they would be independent. Very similar to the original Articles of Confederation, which failed. But in today’s new world this may be the better system for all. It would end many of the regional disputes over immigration, abortion, socials programs, etc.

So, I propose 5 new nations, united weakly, similar to the United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. A standard military and perhaps currency. But not much else.

What would these nations be?

The Northeast Union. Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland (with DC) and Delaware. Bordered by the Atlantic Ocean, the St. Lawrence Seaway, Canada and Lake Erie.

The South Union.Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Tennessee. Bordered by the Ohio River, the Mississippi River and the Atlantic Ocean.

The Great Lakes Union. Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois and Minnesota. Bordered by the Mississippi River, the Ohio river, the 5 Great Lakes and Canada.

The Central Union. Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Iowa, Arkansas, Missouri, Kansas, Wyoming, South Dakota, North Dakota, Idaho and Montana. Bordered by the Mississippi River, various mountain ranges, the Great Basin, the Rio Grande, the Gulf of Mexico, Mexico and Canada.

The Pacific Union. California, Oregon and Washington. Bordered by the Pacific Ocean, various mountain ranges, the Great Basin, Mexico and Canada.

All of these unions would have outlets for trade. Most have very similar majorities in terms of social, political and economic beliefs about the role of government. Would this be a perfect system? No. But compared to the current system it would be a vast improvement.

There is no doubt that the major issues confronting 330,000,000 people in the USA will never be settled. There will be a constant battle of philosophies. It is the failure of the “melting pot” concept. Because a “melting pot” and “democracy” both assume a certain degree of flexibility and tolerance. Forget it. Not going to happen. It is only going to get worse as political power swings back and forth, or the forces of authoritarianism become entrenched.

Just imagine living in a nation where every two years there is no ongoing battle of philosophies? Where there is majority consensus instead of minority obstruction? Wouldn’t that be better for all of us? We have to accept that the system designed for the 18th century no longer works. It demands a common belief in democracy. That belief no longer exists in many parts of the nation.

Breaking up is hard to do, but in the long term it is best for all parties concerned.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nine_Nations_of_North_America

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Nations

The Bullet that Saved America

On January 6, 2021 the thugs had the upper hand.

They had broken into the Capitol building. They had beaten police. They had broken windows. They had crapped on the floor. They had flown the flag of traitors.

They had one goal.

To stop democracy. Their leader had been badly defeated in an election, yet he refused to cede power. The duly elected Congress was set to certify the election results. To make official what was real.

But if the mob could stop the Congress they could overturn the will of the people.

The plot was obvious. Hang Mike Pence. Kill Nancy Pelosi. Take over the Congress. Kill as many representatives of the people as they could get their hands on.

Then their man could step in. He could claim that the nation was in crisis. He could install marshal law. For the good of the nation. He could claim that Joe Biden had never been officially certified as the next president. He could claim that he would need to be in charge until all of this chaos could subside. Only he could fix it. He would never leave office. Democracy would be dead.

It might have worked. It was a clever plan. After all, he might have the support of the Supreme Court, where he had appointed one-third of the members. Or he might not. No matter, he would ignore the courts just as he had ignored the Constitution.

If only his thugs could stop the Congress from affirming the election. All he needed was a delay. A little time.

So, while the thugs attacked democracy their leader watched on TV. Encouraged. Delighted. Hopeful. All was going as planned. All they needed to do was break through one more door.

One door, barricaded and held by a handful of police, was all that stood between dictatorship and democracy. One door whose glass was shattered by the mob. A mob that had overrun the police and were banging and smashing all that stood in their way.

The glass shattered. An opening appeared. A hole in the dike. Enough for one thug to slip through, then another, then another, than a wave of thugs. One small chance to destroy Congress and turn democracy on its head. The world turned upside down.

In 1837 the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson penned a verse about the brave farmers of New England in 1775. Who stood up to the forces of the divinely ordained king in the name of democracy. A “shot heard round the world”.

On January 6, 2021 a Capitol police lieutenant named Michael Byrd stood alone. The only patriot standing between the thugs and democracy. Facing the mob he stood, gun in hand. Alone. He could not let them pass. He would not let them pass.

The door was breached. The thugs, determined to destroy American democracy, had finally broken through.

So Lt. Byrd aimed and fired. “A shot heard round the world”.

A thug fell. And the other thugs retreated. They fell back. As cowards always do when confronted . Congress was saved. Pence was saved. Pelosi was saved. America was saved.

Lt. Michael Byrd, just a normal American cop who had done his duty. Undone the plot to destroy democracy. Stopped the thugs in their tracks.

The bullet that saved America.

When I’m 5

FREEDOM! FREEDOM NOW !

Indeed, we live in perilous times. The “government ” in many states and localities are trying to force our children to wear masks and do social distancing at schools! Or be vaccinated. Enforcing good and sane health policies on our tykes.

Who ever heard of schools forcing kids to be vaccinated. That is as unAmerican as slavery and 3rd rate sitcoms. But I digress. As usual.

On the other hand, many adult Americans are demanding freedom. Freedom to spew their virus entombed in saliva onto the rest of us. And, they demand the right of their children to spew their viral spittle on everyone else’s children.

Freedom isn’t free. It is paid for by the blood, sweat and intubation of America’s kids. Hey, somebody has to stand up, (or lie quietly gagging away their life), for FREEDOM.

Which reminds me of a little girl I knew many years ago.

It was our 4 year old neighbor. A little pixie who was , shall I say, actively active. Over active? Hyperactive? You get the point.

Her young parents were fervent fundamentalists who kept a tight grip on her at all times. Tried to, at least. Her natural enthusiasm for life was contained by structure and rules which she hated immensely. In her case, a short leash was the only way her parents knew to control her. Spare the rod.They did not.

She and I were discussing some important issues one day (her upcoming 5th birthday) when one of her parents called her home. She did not want to go and ignored the plea. A second call was more forceful so she knew she had no choice but to , at least for now, do what she was told.

She pouted. Folded her arms , and after sending a chilling glare in the direction of her progenitor, she looked at me and said: “When I am 5, NO ONE is going to tell ME what to do”.

Sad to say, when it comes to common sense, decency and public health, we have a very large population of 5 year olds now on display. The pouting, petulant purveyors of phony “freedom”. No one is going to tell them what to do.

A good time to be an intubator salesman.